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9 year disabled child gets ill atleast once a month how can i work and not get fired

(11 Posts)
pegasusp3 Sun 29-Jan-12 12:59:47

my 9 year old has fetal anti covulsant syndrome. she has regular chest infections, ear infections and eye infections and numerous hospital appointments . i am supossed to be getting married next year to my fiancee who is in the navy and away a lot. he says a have to get a job as his wage wont cover bills and rent once i come off income support. any idea the stress is killing me

rainbowinthesky Sun 29-Jan-12 13:01:22

What about a childminder who is flexible or nanny?

pegasusp3 Sun 29-Jan-12 13:10:10

nanny's still cost money and i've not worked in 9 years faith would need one one support as she has a mind of a 3 year old and is still in nappies.

rainbowinthesky Sun 29-Jan-12 13:44:23

You should be able to claim disability allowance or possibly have help of some sort for help in the house. Quite frankly though if I were you I'd not be looking to work as what on earth are you going to do during holidays etc. Benefits are for people like you imo. Does he realise the full extent of your issues?

zebrafinch Tue 07-Feb-12 08:21:18

Can you claim Carers allowance? Your daughter has to be in receipt of middle rate care DLA. Carers allowance is not much per week but you can top it up by finding a part time job and are allowed to earn up to £100? a week before you lose the Carers Allowance. Go onto to direct gov website to see current rate of Carers Allowance and earnings limit. If you work part time you could insist that medical and school appointments are done at your convenience. Your big problem however will be any unplanned hospital admissions, an employer is not going to like this. A previous poster has also mentioned coping with school holidays etc. If you have not got any family near you to help out it will be very difficult. Any chance of working from home somehow? Have you claimed DLA for your daughter? If your daughter has frequent unplanned hospital admissions and your future husband is working away I just can't see how you can work. Can you contact the welfare department of the local services charity (e.g. British Legion) and see what they can advise about keeping a roof over your head when you marry.

zebrafinch Tue 07-Feb-12 08:30:40

Also ask Social Services for a Carers Assessment. Tell them you have to work to keep a roof over your head and to stop going into debt. Ask them what help they can give you for a trained carer to help you look after your daughter and any holiday schemes for your daughter during the school holidays. Pie in the sky talk here but if you don't ask you don't get- actually its more like if you do ask you don't get anyway.

zebrafinch Tue 07-Feb-12 08:54:46

Still thinking on your dilemma OP. Go on to the website Turn2Us (google it) . You will find a financial checker that can give you some idea what you will be entitled to when you get married. Even when you come of IS your daughter will still get DLA, you can get Carers Allowance and you will still be eligible for Child Tax credit. All this will contribute to the household income. You can ask for a benefits appointment at your local CAB they also have a before and after benefits checker which can show you clearly what your financial situation will be like after you are married compared with now. Also it may be that you are not currently getting what you are entiteld to to help you care for your daughter. Ask the CAB to check her eligibility for each level of DLA, even if you have already claimed it may be that has time has gone on her needs have got greater.

pegasusp3 Wed 14-Mar-12 20:47:30

thanks but my fiancee is sure he wants to take back his proposal i get DLA CARERS allowance £200 a month and only surviving because i am single, living alone and on income support my fiancee is in the navy and he says he doesn't want to live in poverty which is where we would be if i had to rely on his wages. my little girl the past to weeks has only been to school 2 days from first chest infection then D and v bug which she then passed it to me. i cant see how any employer would be happy for me to turn around and say sorry cant work daughter ill all the time. dont know what to do

zebrafinch Thu 15-Mar-12 23:18:42

Why does he want to take back his proposal? Marriage is more than putting your incomes together. Why does he think you will be living in poverty? Many servicemen are in families where they are the sole earner and the wife is a stay at home mother earning nothing or very little. Whilst you will lose your IS you will still be getting Carers allowance, DLA for your child and child tax credit so you will be contributing financially to the household income. Do you know how much he earns? Have you done a household budget on your joint incomes? you will find that there are some savings (maybe not a lot) when two households become one ( example household furniture for one house not two). You maybe should discuss more what committment you both expect from marrying each other, what lifestyle you will be having, why your lives will be better when you are married, how your finances will be organised, what would happen if you have a child by him, what would he expect from you if he lost his job, became disabled himself etc etc.

zebrafinch Fri 16-Mar-12 18:10:24

OP, I hope you can find a way forward.

zebrafinch Fri 16-Mar-12 18:21:33

Re read a previous post of peagasus you wrote that you receive "DLA Carers allowance" did you mean DLA Care component for your daughter? When you come off IS (because of the income of your new husband) your daughter will keep her DLA care component. If it is middle rate care component then you can claim £56 a week for yourself in Carers allowance and can earn up to £100 a week in addition without it affecting your Carers allowance. You need to get a proper benefit check on your situation before and after getting married.

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