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anybody in the education profession or that has delayed there childs school start i need your help please

(24 Posts)
Judgeaway Thu 05-May-16 11:10:55

hi everybody, i originally posted this is in chat, and i only got one reply off a lovely lady and she suggested posting in here as well. I'm sorry it is long but I've just copied and pasted from the original thread. hope you can help thank you.

Hi so this is probably in the wrong place, but it fits a lot of categories and this has a lot of traffic and i am desperate for some advice. This will probably be long and I'm sorry.
So my ds2 is 3years 11months and is due to start school this September. We are currently going through the asmpact process at the moment and we are expecting our diagnosis of autism at the end of may.
So with Ds been summer born and obviously the other difficulties he has we have been considering delaying his school start for a year. I had a meeting with the school he is suppose to be starting in September and that is a whole other thread, but they did mention that if we delay his start there is a good chance that at some point in his schooling he would have to fit back into his congenative age group.
I have obviously rang my local lea for advice on this, but the person i need to speak to is busy on appeals, so was wondering if any of you guys new what happens.
I am also going to look around our local special needs school on Tuesday
, but it feels like pre school cannot wait to get rid of him.
Thank you in advance for any advice.

Blondemummy1975 Thu 05-May-16 21:33:19

Hi I'm a teacher and my DS is starting school this sept too. I've been considering delaying due to social skills etc and being emotionally quite young and with delayed language too.
I decided against it in the end because a) reception is so much like nursery b) where would he be for the extra year? Preschool will be focusing on all the 3/4 year olds getting ready for school teaching letter sounds etc and my boy already knows a lot of this. C) physically ds is very tall and I am aware of him standing out (lame reason but still was part of my consideration) also he will be bored if being in the same preschool environment assuming that is they agree to take a 4/5 year old. D) there is much more knowledge and help in school for ASD children (at least I hope so) as it is school and not childcare. I felt he would get more help.

On the issue of having to return to his chronological year group that is just how the LA try to put people off. It makes no difference what age you sit your GCSES etc there is nothing that stops you doing anything. I work at a private secondary and we have many children out of year as if you're paying you can do what you think is best for your child. Many parents do not think their child is ready at 4 and delay and later at secindary age we advise to repeat a year in some circumstances. Do what you think is best smile

Ifonlylovewouldsavetheday Tue 10-May-16 01:07:28

I thought that if a child started later, i.e. summer born starting in the September a school year later than normal they would just follow each year group from then on. See summerborns.org
There can't be a funding issue so I don't know what the problem would be once the delayed start was agreed, presuming it is a delayed September start.
My lil summerborn started at the regular time and unfortunately I am now realising this maybe wasn't the best decision. We were unaware of summer babe exceptions and now have a senco who recommends repeating reception year but doesn't acknowledge any future issues as he has already decided my lil 4yr old will be in special provision before then, needless to say we are moving school

Muddledmike Tue 10-May-16 08:29:46

My DS (now aged 12) is out of year group and has been since we delayed his start into reception at primary. Had a bit of a row with the senco at secondary who said "the LA won't ageee" I contacted the LA myself, produced a load of facts and evidence, they sent it to panel and all fine. They like people in their pigeon holes to make their paperwork easier but if you can prove its in the child's best interest then they'll go with it.

Judgeaway Tue 10-May-16 09:34:17

Hi everybody Thankyou for replying and so sorry I havnt been back have had hell.
So I spoke to the lea who said yes it could happen but only for very bright children usually eg when they are finding the work to easy but it also is a long process to decide if it's the best option. Just of to look round our local special needs school so will be back after that. Thankyou again

Blondemummy1975 Tue 10-May-16 11:28:01

It is cheaper for an LA to have an out of year child than a special school place if that is what you want?

Judgeaway Wed 11-May-16 10:07:06

Well I am still totaly unsure on wether mainstream or Sen school would be best for Ds. So with that I have just put in for a deferal of school start hoping that by the time it comes to applying for him a school place next year we will have his diagnosis and ehcp in place. Obviously if we was to go through with starting this September we would have to go mainstream as Ds needs his diagnosis in place to start a Sen school. So here's hoping I've made the best decision confused

YoungGiftedwithflab32 Wed 11-May-16 22:09:17

Hi there judgeaway, you do what you feel is best for your little one now.

My ds is 2years and 8 months and looking at starting reception sept 2017 when he will be 4years and 5 days, he too is being assessed for ASD but we are at the absolute start of the process, before reading your post I was considering posting myself regarding delaying ds starting reception for a year as I know he will not be ready, he has significant development delays, speech delays and doesn't interact very well socially, also does no self care at all!! So as you can imagine I'm worried sick that if he starts school when supposed to be is really going to struggle, iv come to the decision today that I will be delaying him for a year so he can have a chance for his assessment to happen and also to develop,hopefully, enough to go to school and cope in 2018.

Not much advise to give but just letting you know your not on your own in your situation with your ds.

If I may, could I ask how you started the process of delaying your ds's schooling? I'm unsure how to start, nursery told me to just not apply for a reception place!! Seems not enough, if you know what I mean confused but nursery are happy to keep him on for another year should I go ahead and delay.

Judgeaway Thu 12-May-16 04:21:18

Hi younggifted Thankyou for your kind words. Your Ds sounds exactly like my Ds.
I know every lea works differently but I have had a lot of contact with my local lea over this issue. So I applied for Ds place which was then allocated then I applied for the deferal. This is how I was told to do it as to make it all legal because you have to have permission to delay him especially if your still wanting him to start in reception a year later. If you don't do it properly he would have to fit back into his cronilogical age group, which could cause loads of problems including not getting the school you want. I took a while making the decision weather it was right to defer or not but they do not rush you after your place has been allocated. I hope I have explained this clearly enough. If you need any more advice or support just ask I'm happy to help. smile. It's all confusing to begin with but then works out for the best good luck and I'll keep checking back on the thread or pm me if you need any more advice

YoungGiftedwithflab32 Thu 12-May-16 08:55:07

Thanks judge
So I should wait to get the allocation forms then? Sorry I've just woke up after a night of my ds being sick all over the place and my self (I smell lovely sad).

Iv not contacted anyone as yet other than running it past nursery.

Thanks very much for your help it means a lot from someone going through it themselves wink

Judgeaway Thu 12-May-16 16:53:45

Oh hope your Ds is feeling better? My Ds didn't sleep at all last night I'm shattered. We applied online rather than through the post but yes that seems the best way and gives you more time to make sure your making the right decision smile

YoungGiftedwithflab32 Thu 12-May-16 22:42:49

Thank you again, I'll hold out till it's allocation time then, I hope I'm doing the right thing, I think I am, it's just horrible having to make theses decisions and being unsure of the outcome. But thank you for all your advice will definitely take it on board.

Ds is feeling much better tonight, was a bit peaky through the day, I've spent the day tryin to get the smell of milky sick out of everything including my hair, I think the smell has just stuck up my nose, keep getting wiffs everywhere I go in the house, it's gross. blush

Judgeaway Sat 14-May-16 08:28:10

It is really hard to make a decision as big as this. I'll tell ya what helped me I waited till I got the school place I had applied for (already new the school as ds1 8 goes there), so when I got a my allocation place I booked a meeting with the school to see what they thought they could offer Ds if he was to start this September. Then I went to look around a Sen school and asked the same sort of questions. With that I had seen both ends of the scale. I then decided personally that I didn't think either end was right for Ds at this moment in time, but he seems happy and Okish were he is. So that helped me make the decision to defer him for a year and see were he will best fit by September next year. If you need any help even if it's just what sort of questions to ask I'm happy to help smile

YoungGiftedwithflab32 Sat 14-May-16 10:13:40

Thanks very much that's a great help, iv had a little look at schools in our area I'm edging more towards one in particular at the moment, but I think I'll do what you ha e done and wait till we are offered a place then go ahead and start the ball rolling, its great knowing how you did it yourself as iv no idea where to really start untill speaking with yourself, so once again thank you and no doubt about it I will be in touch regarding what to say etc.

But thanks again grin

Judgeaway Sat 14-May-16 20:54:19

Your welcome it's hard and stressful good luck smileflowers

YoungGiftedwithflab32 Sat 14-May-16 23:35:11

Will you let me know how you get on with delaying your ds school start and if they will allow him to go to reception when he does start, please.

Feel like I have hijacked your thread, I apologise and for that here is some winecakechocolateflowers grin

Judgeaway Sun 15-May-16 20:15:19

Don't be silly I don't mind at all yes I will definitely let you know how I get on I'm rather nervous to how it is going to go actuallyconfused

Judgeaway Tue 17-May-16 13:17:19

Well I've hit a brick wall at the moment the big boss at pre school is saying they won't take him for another year and recons he won't get funding but he will angry

YoungGiftedwithflab32 Tue 17-May-16 17:03:33

Just keep on at them, he will get funding up untill he is 5.

Is there another pre-school local he could possibly go to, but I suppose you wouldn't want to have to unsettle him really.

So sorry your having these problems, I really hope it gets sorted. Perhaps you could ask the people who sort the funding out if they could put it on paper that your ds would get funding and then present the pre-school with it (shove it in their face) wink

Judgeaway Tue 17-May-16 17:21:49

I would of snakes him in his face today had I seen him lol. He has absoloutly nothing to do with the pre school so he doesn't even k ow my Ds yet spoke to me like a piece of shit ( excuse my swearing ). I'm the one laughing now though cos I've gone above him so he'll be getting lots of phone calls he doesn't want smile

YoungGiftedwithflab32 Tue 17-May-16 17:35:31

Well done grin I'm very sure I would of done the same! Some people are just knob heads who ain't got a Scooby doo. Hopefully you'll get a result now, there is no way they can take the funding away from your ds.

Let me know how it goes wink

Don't worry about the swearing my mouth is like a sewer at times

Judgeaway Thu 26-May-16 13:29:18

Hi so I have confirmation of Ds deferal and also a decision in principle that his pre school will still have him on there registers in September. I've also given the director of pre school no choice really as legally we have a right to a place there.
Ds map meeting took place last Monday so it's doing my head in a lot because they know his diagnosis but havnt arranged a meeting to tell me yet angry. Just ready for diagnosis and everything to start running abit smoother, but that's probably wishful thinking grin.
Sorry for any typos I'm on my phone

YoungGiftedwithflab32 Thu 26-May-16 14:09:49

It's great that you have managed to keep him in his pre school, they were just being twats about it by the sounds of it.

Have the deferal people said if he can start in reception when he does start school or will he have to start in year one? The process for diagnosis takes ages, doesn't it?, I'm still waiting for our first appointment after being referred, its really frustrating having to wait so long, we have half term next week so when my ds is back at nursery I'm goin to chase it up I think.

I'm so glad you are finally getting somewhere, I hope you get your ds's diagnosis soon too wink

Judgeaway Mon 30-May-16 16:18:56

Hi sorry for the late reply Ds has been poorly sad and ds1 on half term aswell so been abit crazy grin. Yes he will be starting in reception next September so I'm really happy, even though I'm still thinking special needs school may be a option. Just going to see how the next few months go. Got a big meeting set up for the 9th of June but doesn't look like I'll of been told his diagnosis by then, which will also make it hard as one of the ladies there will know his diagnosis but we won't be able to use that information. Unfortunately the town I live in is very slow in the diagnosis part of things

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