Our SN area is not a substitute for expert advice. While many Mumsnetters have a specialist knowledge of special needs, if they post here they are posting as members, not experts. There are, however, lots of organisations that can help - some suggestions are listed here. If you've come across an organisation that you've found helpful, please tell us. Go to Special needs chat, Parents with disabilities, SN teens, SN legal, SN children, SN recommendations.
Would you put your dc back a year?(7 Posts)
My ds is 3 years old. He he has speech delay, and minor physical delayed development (nothing overly obvious or intrusive). Basically, he looks and acts more like a 2 year old toddler.
My dilemma is, that he is due to start reception next year in September. He is currently on the waiting list for a nursery place, but, realistically, it's not looking likely he'll get a place before September, meaning he'll have to go straight to reception - full time.
I'm uncomfortable with this for several reasons. The fact that he has speech delay, not big deal really, as this is common, and the school are brilliant. I feel confident they will do their best to encourage further development on that part. But, he has physical issues too, including hyper-mobility and short stature (possibly requiring growth hormone injections). Because of his physical and speech delay, I have tried tirelessly to potty train him and failing miserably! If by chance he does get offered a nursery place before September, they will not accept him unless he is fully trained.
A few friends have suggested I ask that he be put back a year. Until now it hadn't crossed my mind. Thinking about it, it seems like a perfect solution (if they agree) because it will give me an extended time frame to potty train him, he will have a few additional months to continue with his speech therapy and 'catch up', I can give him the settling in period if he starts nursery in September, and he will then be one of the oldest children, therefore should feel less inadequate and a confident learner.
But, I don't know anyone who has done this. Are there any draw backs? What criteria does he need to fit to enable him to do this?
Ant help, advice or experience would be appreciated. Thank you!
It is really hard to get any LA in England to agree to this without significant external input and assessments (such as a Statement) and it can cause issues later on ie at secondary transfer age. Nurseries are not allowed to exclude on the basis of toilet training if they take EY funding and even if not then DDA may apply. If you have a HV involved then you could ask if she could get access to a nursery space as a priority to help with speech and socialisation.
Even if he has a place for September 2013 he doesn't have to take it up until later in the year , as long as he is there by summer term 2014 , unless he turns 5 before Jan 2014 when technically he needs to be in education earlier (term after he turns 5).
if you just chose to keep him back until Sept 2014 (ok assuming he is summer born) he'd normally be expected to go into year 1 straight away instead and you would be more limited in "choice" of school.
LIZS Thanks for your response. This is all new ground to me and I assumed
naively that he would go from nursery to reception if he was held back. So, this has given me food for thought. Not sure how I'd feel about him going from nursery to year 1!
I'm going to look at all my options. I'm guessing that him being put back is unlikely one of them. It's obviously quite rare? But I will find out more about pushing for a nursery place now. I'm not sure how that would work though, as they have to take into account their ratios.
He was born the end of August! So will be 4 yrs and a few weeks next year. He won't turn 5 untill August 2014. The nursery in question, only does one intake - Septembers. Given this info, what would you do in my shoes?.... thanks
I have an end of August born dd (now 11) who is NT and has coped well academically if less so emotionally so being young in itself isn't the issue. I think you need to a) push for more formal assessments so you know what the fuller picture of his needs is, b) pursue a Statement if needs be and c) visit and identify all schools who may be open to a staggered start and flexible enough to differentiate to meet his needs from the start. Priority for me would be to find a preschool/nursery to take him asap as their input may help wth a & b. Many won't only have one intake per year and with professionals supporting his situation they can intervene to get him in as a priority. Good luck
I did put this on your other thread, but in case that's a duplication, I'll trot it out again
both my children have autism. We arranged for our youngest to repeat reception because he was not ready to go into Y1.
He's stayed that year behind throughout and is now in the first year of secondary (would have been Y8 by now had we not done this). It was the right thing to do for him, based on his needs, his development and his understanding. We didn't do it with our other child because we didn't feel he needed it.
The head at his school told us that "'they' (the LA) don't do that". We did as we always do and ignored the 'experts' grin and wrote to the LA, detailing exactly why he needed this. (It was a VERY long letter indeed. ) They agreed, with no fuss at all.
Probably worried they'd have to deal with more letters like that one wink
He's in the right year for him. We see it so clearly. That one year has made all the difference.
We haven't experienced any problems at all with him moving back a year. and that's from reception to him now being in Y7. No problems with transition to secondary at all. It's all gone really smoothly.
It sounds like my dd is like your ds. She is 3yrs 8months old with moderate global developmental delay. She presents like a 2.5 yr old at best. I think you are asking a really good question but I think there is more important stuff to sort out like LIZS has said. I hate to say it but I think you need to start getting a bit angry. I think this helps to get things done, if you wait for the professionals to do the right thing by your son you will be kicking yourself in a few years time when nothing has happened. This is not a lack of willing on their side, just a lack of resources. Ring IPSEA and get more advice. Ring your local Parent Partnerships and get more advice. Then start writing lots of letters asking for him to be assessed and for more input, i can't emphasise this enough. Get in touch quickly with the Early Years Foundation Consultant for your local nursery and tell them how concerned you are about the lack of input he has. Early intervention is paramount in dealing with language delays and they know this. Waiting until school is too long in my opinion. A lack of places in the nursery is not a barrier. My dd now has full funding for one to one support, the foundation consultant applied for this funding with the nursery . Your son needs to get onto 'school action plus' as quickly as possible (this is where different professionals are feeding into the nursery with advice). As part of school action plus he will have Individual Education Plans (IEP's) and this regular formalised review will form part of the evidence towards getting him statemented. Getting him statemented is a really positive thing to do although you will hit barriers but it will provide your son with some legal protection to have his needs met in school which is better than empty promises. If this is all overkill and your son just has expressive language delays but his receptive language is fine then he might just catch up with input from school but if you are unsure then I would recommend getting as many assessments done as possible (cover all bases - speech and language, occupational therapy, physiotherapy, educational psychology, paediatrician). By the way, my dd is still in nappies and all the professionals keep telling me not to worry and that she's just not ready yet. Good luck.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.