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So worried about DS starting senior school.

(4 Posts)
CalamityKate Tue 23-Oct-12 10:48:00

Briefly - he's got Asperger's. He's got on pretty much fine in primary - the odd playground tease but basically he's such a likeable, gentle little soul that most of the kids have always just accepted his different-ness and been lovely with him.

But I really worry about how he's going to get on in senior school. I can't imagine he's going to go unnoticed. Things like him dancing about the playground singing to himself are going to lead to him getting picked on, I fear.

At parents evening last night his teacher kicked off by saying "Oh God I just ADORE CalamitySon!" and went on to rave about how intelligent he is BUT she did say that she worries about how he'll fare at senior school. She did say that she's pretty sure he'll be in the top sets for everything, and therefore probably mostly be surrounded by like-minded kids (I'm aware this sounds boasty, it's honestly not meant to) but even the more boffin-y kids can be mean, can't they? And what about break/lunchtimes??

Has anyone got any advice? Experiences? Nightmare visions of him being made fun of keep me awake at nights sad

chocoluvva Tue 23-Oct-12 12:48:54

At my DS' secondary school there is a lunch club - invitation only - for pupils who may not 'fit in' with the playground culture. I wonder if your Ds's sec school will have this.
You should talk to his school about your worries - there will be other children similar to your DS who go there.
Lots of luck smile

CalamityKate Tue 23-Oct-12 14:46:46

Thank you! Yes I guess when we find out which school he's got into we'll look much further into what's available. I'm probably worrying unneccessarily <touches wood>

1950sThrowback Wed 24-Oct-12 18:18:37

Actually if you get to express a preference, I'd start asking the schools now - I found a big difference in what support available - or the way the day is set up that is helpful /unhelpful to kids who may find playground difficult:

Is there a quiet area in the playground - or other drop-out zone for use during lunchtime? lunch club as choco says - or even clubs that might interest your ds - like computer club or a homework club even

Are there adults 'around' generally in the playground before school and at lucnhtime? or prefects?

what happens about going to dinner hall (is it a free for all - do they get shepherded to the hall after class - are they only allowed to come in and sit down in the dining hall if they buy the school dinners?) [discovered that there is a school in our LEA where kids who bring packed lunch are forced to eat in the playground - charming]

Is the library open to them all the time (quiet, supervised area) - or can they only go there at certain times in the week (in one school y7 had one slot in the week)

Do they have a buddy system?

Do they "assess the child's needs when they arrive" - or would you get a chance to discuss what would happen as soon as he gets a place (surprisingly 2 schools I spoke to would do this - which has got to be FAR better than relying on info from primary school or waiting until they 'assess' them)

Does the Senco actually return your call when you contact the school to ask one or two of the above ?
Does she (or he) sound interested /like s/he is selling the school to you - or actually is your ds going to be just more work?

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