Mumsnet Talk

I've thought it a possibility for a number of years, on and off. He's happy, has friends (not loads), is popular and doing well at school (set to get As and A*s at GCSE). But I've just had a chat with him about Asperger's (we were talking about someone else) and remarkably he reckons he's on the spectrum, a bit, maybe. We've never discussed it before. I have once or twice thought about raising it with him when he's been going through a low moment, but I've never wanted to sap his confidence, or seem critical. But are there any benefits for him in seeking a diagnosis? Because I'm very happy to pay for him to see a consultant privately if anyone feels it might be of benefit to him personally.

He is a private school and not in need of any assistance, and he's staying at his school for sixth form.

Would appreciate insight from anyone who might be able to offer advice.

You'll probably get more answers on SN children, it's a much busier board. If your DS needs any support at school or maybe in the workplace then a DX can be very useful. If, however, he's likely to manage fine without one, I'm not so sure of the benefits. If it really affects his self esteem, not understanding why he's different, wanting to make friends but not knowing how, having anxiety issues, then, again a DX may benefit him just to understand himself. That said, there are loads of unDXed adults in the world. It may be that just recognising yourselves that this is a strong possibility will be enough. Read up about it, read Tony Attwoods books, find some strategies, explanations and perhaps some reassurance. Would your DS be happy with a 'maybe?' DC with AS often want things to be black and white, definite, rather than be uncertain. You know your DS, would he appreciate being an 'official' member of a select group of society who, via forums etc, can chat and share the many positives of an AS DX?

My DS2 was DXed with HF ASD at 3 so I don't have your dilemma with him, but my DS3 (9) is very 'quirky' and so far I've seen no reason to push for a DX for him. I am keeping an open mind about it, though. Hope that helps.