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The Sodding Goose and Carrot. 2nd May

(210 Posts)
Galena Fri 02-May-14 19:17:36

I'm opening the sodding doors tonight.

As long as you aren't a wankbadger, you are very welcome to pull up a chair and join me.

We still seem to be feeding the local pests - kitchen full of ants and the sodding snails have munched all my carrot seedlings which had just sprouted. angry

Apart from that it has been a good week... joined a gym and will get fitter!

Galena Fri 02-May-14 19:19:34

Oh, and I take my first blood pressure tablet before bed tonight... I'm strangely worried about it.

zzzzz Fri 02-May-14 19:22:34

wine Galena. Death to all snails.
I will link.

SummerRain Fri 02-May-14 19:24:24

Evening. Just popping in to let you guys know I'm still alive, crazy week at work and things are still tough at home so haven't had much chance to check in. He's finally accepted that it's over, we're hoping to remain friends despite everything but it's obviously quite stressful as we haven't share a house for a while at least.

Hope everyone else is doing ok, I'll post properly when I get a chance x

SummerRain Fri 02-May-14 19:25:08

*have to

ouryve Fri 02-May-14 19:29:09

There's been sodding snails everywhere, this week. I hear pne poor parent of a child in Reception crying "no more snails please" to her DD on the way out of school. I saw her with one in each hand, yesterday grin

Got a splitting headache after 10 minutes of DS1 screaming at me and hurling things at me and around me. At least he's calmer and just whinging about a runny, nose, now.

ouryve Fri 02-May-14 19:30:55

Good to see you, Summer x

PolterGoose Fri 02-May-14 19:32:24

Cuntilitres of wine all round I think smile

hazeyjane Fri 02-May-14 19:46:18

Good to see you Summer.

Sodding fed up after a sod of a week, plus dh is working all sodding weekend (sodding public schools don't believe in sodding May Day). Then we have an arse of a week with a sodding appointment in Oxford (timed nicely for rush hour) and ds's teeth.

A sodding cuntilitre of wine over here please.

(Did I get enough sods in there)

ouryve Fri 02-May-14 19:51:34

I think you need a full sodding litre of wine, Hazey.

I'll help you sodding drink it. The eruption might be over, but he's still sodding simmering.

hazeyjane Fri 02-May-14 20:10:53

<slurp> I may have to pour you another, Ouryve. Hope the eruption settles soon.

Fav Fri 02-May-14 20:11:27

I'll help drink the wine too. Ds2 had a school trip which meant a bad night earlier this week.
My dm ended up in hospital last night, the dr thinks she had global amnesia, which should now be ok (fingers crossed)
Ds went into some sort of shutdown last night because everyone was worried and I went to visit her. But good god, we're paying for it now!
wine all round.

homework Fri 02-May-14 20:47:59

Hi everyone sorry not been around , hope everyone reasonably okay , well that's the mock exams over with , now to wait on the results , he's been rather stressed all week and still haven't done history / geography as not finish the syllabus .
So unsure when they do these and have one massive geography project on globalisation and china . History haven't even looked at what's for homework.
Also back in work tomorrow night for few shifts . Finally managed to find counsellor for son , recommended , but forty pounds for approx an hour . Worth it if it helps , so going to have to try and do few extra shifts , find extra money for this. Can only wait and see .

NoHaudinMaWheest Fri 02-May-14 21:36:02

Here's to better weeks all round. Though Summer and Hazey it sounds unlikely.

Off to London tomorrow to visit ds. He seems to have settled well. Told us not to come on the bank holiday because the unit had something exciting planned. It is very strange without him. Haven't seen him for over a week - the longest time ever.

Spoke to dd's physio today. The conversation went like this:
Me; dd had appointment with the psychiatrist yesterday.
Physio: Oh good. How did it go?
Me: I don't think I really can say what I thought of him.
Physio: Yes just say what you think.
Me; He told dd to think herself better and she would be much improved in 2 weeks. She just needs to wiggle her joints.
Physio: It didn't occur to him that the rest of us tried that a year ago? You don't need to tell me what you think. grin

I also discovered today that the psychiatrist had told dd that physio and hydrotherapy wouldn't help. Despite the fact that they are the only things which ease her pain and help her mobilise.

Anyway I am so fed up with all the messing around that I have decided to apply for DLA for her and physio has agreed to do the professional's bit.

nHMW Hooray! It makes such a difference to have someone on your side. Just one person is enough to be reassured you're still on this planet.

moosemama Fri 02-May-14 22:17:34

Too tired to read or post really, but marking my place anyway.

NoHaudin, good to hear you have someone on your side, but angry about the can't even think of a word bad enough psychiatrist.

Still ploughing on with my healthy eating and exercise plan. Beyond knackered, but in a good way - I think!

Ds1 suddenly said to dh, in a very shocked tone, this evening "Daddy you have a beard!". Dh has had a beard since Christmas ... and his photography teacher wonders why he's struggling with the part of the curriculum that deals with facial portraiture. hmm Homework was to find some interesting faces online and take the pictures into class. Ds1 Googled, then said "but none of them are interesting, they all look the same". Ended up using a smiling baby - he's very fond of babies, an old man, for contrast and a tribesman with facial scarring and tatoos (my suggestion) but it was a massive uphill struggle.

Mind you, we discovered in y4 that he identified his teachers by their shoes! Which worked fine, as long as they wore the same ones every day!

Handywoman Fri 02-May-14 22:24:57

Hooray for nHWMW that's great smile

Death to all snails in kitchens!

dd2 & me have been at home while dd2 recuperates from the operation. Normal service has been resumed: we've had lovely trips to the shops, a lovely dog walk when we stopped to watch a heron. She picked all the rhubarb in the garden (mum forgot to tell her not to pick it all) and dd2 made three rhubarb crumbles with me supervising (she even chopped the rhubarb). She also had two major major meltdowns, one in B&Q - nice big reverberant space, has been watching the same episodes of The Simpsons and one particular advert over and over, spending long spells on the Wii. We went to London today to see a good friends brand new baby, then dd2 had me up in the attic searching for her original baby blankets. She also dumped a pile of books on the floor by my bed in search of the blankets.

Just as I was clearing them up I was reflecting upon our week or ups and downs, and the intensity of it all..... when suddenly, out of dd2's mouth came the words:

'........ need a hand......???????'

shock shock shock shock

I literally froze with disbelief, thanked her, and we sorted the books together


That girl will NEVER cease to amaze me .

Oi, I'm here, pass the wine!

I've been comfort/absent minded eating again. BUT, I have been to the gym 3 times this week and will aim to do this every week from now on.

College course is going well, definitely want to work in childcare. The bubble tube in the sensory room where I volunteer has been fixed - I'm happy about this (I like to watch it change colours smile ) and the little ones love it too.

ouryve Fri 02-May-14 22:52:35

That physio sounds like a good egg, NHMW

Moose - love your DS's powers of observation grin

Handy - B&Q meltdowns are spectacular. Even louder than Tesco

stillstandingatthebusstop Sat 03-May-14 00:30:14

I really have been to the pub. Cheers to all at the sodding goose and arsing carrot.

Is there a pissed icon?????

signandsingcarols Sat 03-May-14 09:40:01

Hi all, am watching crappy dvds and painting the lving room today (in amongst the marking I have to do...) ds and dh went to nanny's yesterday aft, and I join them tomorrow morning.

the little girl ds wanted to come to play actually wants to come..grin she has been asking when can we set the date... grin am really thrilled.

am also loving wankbadger... it just feels deliciously naughty. grin

(sign dances round the half painted lounge shaking her arse and singing wankbadger to herself) grin

homework Sat 03-May-14 10:05:46

Nohaudling sorry to hear that psychologist is being so unhelpful, at least you got a descend physio. Sometimes wonder where they get these people from. Maybe cause he's been told to cut serves , that's his daft solution.

Well just sorting laundry , then get him down onto history first as looks shorter of pieces of work to do.

Hope everyone has a nice weekend .

PolterGoose Sat 03-May-14 10:35:23

NoHaudin hope today goes well, and really great that ds doesn't want you to come on Monday, that bodes well. Good on the physio.

Everyone else wine

Galena Sat 03-May-14 12:17:18

Glad to see you've all made yourselves comfy...

Lollipop, nice to see you, please have wine!

I felt a bit overwhelmed last night about my blood pressure tablet - not sure why, but it felt scary. Feel ok this morning though (I was warned I might feel dizzy) so I think that has helped a bit.

I did the supermarket shop with DD today, which is usually full of her whinging that she doesn't like shopping, me having to take her hand because she's so wobbly, and general stress. Today she was fab - getting all the things we needed off the shelf and putting them in the trolley - and didn't fall once!

Now DH has taken her to her weekly gymnastics class and I'm going to have a soak in the bath smile Bliss!

ouryve Sat 03-May-14 13:13:44

Galena flowers Glad the shopping was a pleasant experience and the first tablet is over and done with.

Both boys somewhat arsey today. As are my sodding guts. DH has gone out to Do Stuff and left me with the boys and the sodding lunch dishes. I have sodding laundry sodding drying in the back yard and another sodding half load washing, so if he starts doing anything messy out the back I shall probably be toasting and grinding his nuts to add to the hazelnuts for DS1's cake. The cake which I have to find the sodding energy to bake.

And, thank goodness, it looks like he's planning on making the mess at the front, instead. At least I'll not have the boys nagging me to play out. They can just watch him out of the sodding window.

hazeyjane Sat 03-May-14 13:17:53

Hahaha to grinding dh's nuts. God I need cake.

Ds is full of snot, (praying it is hayfever rather than a cold, but then I don't want him to have hayfever either - aaargh) and he has just done the most immense poo ever, I think he has been trying to do it for the last few days. Unfortunately he did it then pulled his nappy down thus smearing poo over the garden - in front of our v prim next door neighbours, the fact that it was outside doesn't seem to have dissipated the smell.

We are now hiding indoors watching scooby doo.

zzzzz Sat 03-May-14 14:53:28

grin at poo garden! I could retail you with poo related horror moments, but all I can say is if your neighbour is so fortunate as to not have had these experiences then she should count herself bloody lucky and be pleasant to those in the trenches.

It isn't hat fever or a cold, in is an anomaly and ill be gone tomorrow. I'm magicing it so.

Honk honk

zzzzz Sat 03-May-14 14:57:19

Oh and galena your sodding ants have turned up in MY kitchen now angry

ouryve Sat 03-May-14 15:03:28

Hazey. I'd have breathed a sign of relief that he didn't do it all over the carpet grin

zzzzz this is one of those sodding situations when you have to break it to your children that all that stuff about being kind to all bugs is utter guff. (Not that I've ever had that dilemma with DS1 - he'll gleefully kill anything that crawls or flies but doesn't have feathers. Don't tell poltergosling)

PolterGoose Sat 03-May-14 15:17:31

all that stuff about being kind to all bugs is utter guff

shock shock shock

Interestingly we've been chatting about this after an incident at school which started with 'some girl' standing in an earwig and then I nearly ran over a sodding pigeon, ds appears to have accepted that there are grounds where killing bugs (and pigeons) could be acceptable and that it doesn't mean the end of life on earth.

hazey grin at poo garden. I do hope it's a cold and not hayfever.

zzzzz Sat 03-May-14 15:28:27

Sorry for weird zzzzz typos. blush they remind me of chatting to the children I hung out with as a child. We all talked just not the same language! I so wish I could find such a haven for ds.

Galena Sat 03-May-14 16:19:32

Well, strangely, my ants seem to have retreated for now...

Look how we've spent this afternoon (excuse my fat, purple behind!) grin

zzzzz Sat 03-May-14 17:12:49

Oh very cool, you sporty show off.

I've got dodgey knees and my Trikidoo has a flat......envy

hazeyjane Sat 03-May-14 17:37:50

Can I just show you how lovely (and ever so slightly crazy) ds's 1-1 is - she just turned up on our doorstep with this smorgasbord of cheese, meat, pirate paraphernalia and flowers. I wish I could clone her.

hazeyjane Sat 03-May-14 17:38:24

Oops, forgot the photo.

hazeyjane Sat 03-May-14 17:43:34

Wrt poo incident - We are the anomalies in our street, because

1) our dcs all seem to have a louder volume control than everyone else's
2) our dcs look grubbier and smudging than everyone else's
3) ds poos in the garden
4) I leave our washing on the line for a week overnight
5) dh parks his tractor in our drive, everyone else parks their jags and bmws.

ouryve Sat 03-May-14 19:06:59

DS2 has sodding lost his sodding glasses.shock

I wouldn't mind but I'd only sodding put them back on him 5 sodding minutes earlier confused

He's also wearing his sodding school shoes - the ones that he refuses to put on when it's a sodding school day hmm

The boy seems determined to finish me off.

What a fab gift, Hazey smile

signandsingcarols Sat 03-May-14 20:38:04

hazey, how lovely! (ps we too have volume control issues blush in comparison with the neighbours grin, and we live in a rough (ish) neighbourhood blush

nahaudin how has the day with ds gone?

our lounge is now (predominately) 'oatmeal' and the (shockingly yellowy now I look at them blush) paintwork/radiator is now spanky white... only remains to remove all of dh's myriad dvds and cds from the numerous wall spanning shelves so I can paint the remaining wall sections... new (to us) curtains await hemming and then 'TA DA!!'

ouryve Sat 03-May-14 21:08:21

It's nice getting it done, isn't it?

DS2's cake is in the oven and I'm ignoring the beeper, since 35-45 minutes is now an hour and it wasn't cooked 5 minutes ago. If I overdo it, I'll just make extra buttercream to lubricate it.

zzzzz Sat 03-May-14 22:08:21

grin hazey you lightweight, we are the wrong age, colour, religion, income bracket, our volume fills the entire valley and ds pees in the front garden regularly if I don't chase him inside. I think we add a little flamboyance to their lives. and I'm pretty sure they hate it

My entire house needs tired and too poor to care.

SummerRain Sat 03-May-14 22:16:58

Oh fuck... I've just become intensely aware that ds1s communion is in one week and I have done nothing whatsoever to prepare, I have two ou assignments due in and have done absolutely no work on them and there's an endless list of very important tasks that's been getting steadily longer and I've done nothing about any of them.

And despite mounting panic about all of the above I'm still sitting here doing absolutely nothing. I think I'm having some sort of meltdown... I just can't function with him in the house and the constant tension but he has nowhere to go so we have no choice.

Someone please tell me to snap out of it sad

zzzzz Sat 03-May-14 22:23:32

Snap out of it.

You are perfectly capable of functioning when he is in the house. You've been doing it for years.

What needs dong for the first communion?
What else needs doing?
Do you have wine / cake ?

SummerRain Sun 04-May-14 01:22:12

I have vodka but I'm not sure that's helping matters confused and my appetite is non existent so cake won't help.

He's just so gloomy and there and being pathetically nice... I'd almost prefer if he'd shout and yell at this point.

Communion stuff: need to buy Ds1 a shirt, need to book a restaurant for a meal that evening, need to get the last bits sorted for my outfit, need to buy dd shoes, need to get my hair cut, need to bring the boys to the barber (ds2 swears he'll actually allow the barber to touch him this time hmm), need to clean the house, need to bring his candle into school, need to contact his godfather and find out if he's coming, need to plan where we're going between the church after party and the restaurant that evening, need to do simethingvto my nails to stop anymore of them breaking.... Listing all this is not helping shock


PolterGoose Sun 04-May-14 08:12:25

Well done with decorating and cake making

Summer delegate. You don't need to do everything. While ex is trying hard to please you may as well make the most of it. Make him a list.

youarewinning Sun 04-May-14 10:22:42

Sorry for those,of you having difficult weeks.

We seem to be having an ok week behaviour wise. However the video monitor has been a godsend in one way and worrying in another.
It turns out DS obviously has 'fits/seizures' fairly often at night (2/3 times a week). I can tell when it's started as his arms fly up as if he's been electrocuted and then twitches for 1-10 minutes. It's mainly within an hour of going to sleep or yesterday an hour before waking up. It also coincides with the nights he does not get into a deep sleep.
So my plan of action is to get them to do EEG to see if brain activity or give sleep medication if it's not. Either way we both need some good nights sleep on a regular basis instead of 11 hours one night and 2 the next, with 5-8 hour nights interspersed inbetween!

youarewinning Sun 04-May-14 10:23:21

Oh and thanks to nits DS finally allowed me to cut his hair properly yesterday - with the clippers!

Galena Sun 04-May-14 10:31:51

Who sent the sodding ants back with reinforcements?!

At the cinema watching Tinker-sodding-Bell!

youarewinning Sun 04-May-14 11:07:57

I think I need to make my sentence....

We've had sodding hair ants so the sodding trauma of a sodding haircut!

zzzzz Sun 04-May-14 11:08:15

I feel your pain star I can just about cope with ds1 who alternates Turbo (racing car snails) and Free Birds(I think?? But if I have to explain about the "pardoned turkey" again I may implode)..... But dd1 and dd3 have a craze for Frozen. [sigh]

youarewinning Sun 04-May-14 11:16:22

I'm watching a re run or the re runs of top gear specials I watched yesterday and last month and the month before that!

zzzzz Sun 04-May-14 11:20:39

I am also listening to dd3 sing "tis the season to be jolly Tralalalalaaaa lalaaaa laaaaa laaaaaaaaa" (just that line) on repeat. confused it's been going on for 43mins

We have avoided Frozen. Totally. Not deliberately, more that I'm not cultured or something.

But we're a bit like that. The Olympics managed to totally pass us by, as did The Diana stuff and well pretty much any other national event, as I find them too much of an opportunity to visit somewhere special that is usually crowded.

That's why I hope England make it to the World Cup Final. The opportunities for stress-free shoping, empty cinemas, museums, theme parks are something we'll look forward to.

My DS is constantly singing Times Tables songs, which would be great if he didn't leave out the answer and go 'Nnnn'.

3 x 7 is Nnnn
4 x 7 is Nnnn
5 x 7 is Nnnn

etc etc.

zzzzz Sun 04-May-14 14:07:19

Dd3 sings in a nasal American utube teen-girl accent. She thinks that's what singing sounds like confused

Dd3 never changes what SHE thinks.

We have just been for a long walk along a canal. Dd3 settled back into the car and said "I have had the most ghastly day. It really was dreadful." shock <and she sounded JUST like my Great Aunts>. How is it possible??? AND it was a bloody lovely walk.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Sun 04-May-14 15:21:18

Sigh. God I hate meltdowns. Today has been one after another with DS1. And DS2 hasn't been much better tbh, as he keeps getting right in the middle of it and trying to wind up DS1.

ouryve Sun 04-May-14 16:27:24

Summer - turn atheist. It's far simpler wink You'll work out what you need to do - and what you don't really need to do, after all. If the meal and so on are for the benefit of wider family, then delegate. You might have to do the OU assignments yourself, however x

Star - one thing I don't have to put up with, though DS2's gettign into Minnie mouse, thanks to a game on his nook. He was walking round Durham clutching a Mickey and mini book with a box of plastic figures attached to it, earlier. (That's £5 of his birthday money spent - goodness knows what we'll get him with the other £35!) And he has watched the same episode of Shaun the Sheep about 200 times, now. Pingu isn't far behind. We rip them and put them on his nook so we don't have to join in, though!

Shopping on the afternoon of a big match is usually a treat for us, with 3 big teams in such close proximity.The Sunderland air show always guarantees a clear run up to the metrocentre, as well.

Alice [chocolate] DS1's still grumpy and obsessive. It's like a sodding great black cloud over us all, just waiting for the storm.

DS2's cake's done, anyhow. I took a quick pic before I hid it in the microwave, so it's still surrounded by mess. It promises to be utterly delicious. And 35-34 minutes was 65, in the end!

And we finally found DS2's glasses, this morning. After DH had spent ages stomping around trying to find the spare pare that he'd secreted somewhere. His normal ones were behind the wellies in the lobby. I'd looked in the wellies and around the wellies and even in the laundry basket next to the wellies. Just not hard enough. When i walked up to DS2 with them, he sad "where they?" so he appears to have understood that they had gone missing grin

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Sun 04-May-14 16:37:26

ouryve tomorrow is the day for haircuts. I'm expecting some type of disaster movie music to start playing when I wake up and keep building until the trimmers come out. I think an early morning haircut (to get it over with) is in order. With bribery.

Glad you found his glasses. DS2 seems to be putting his down a lot lately (changing shirts, sneezing, you name it) and forgetting to put them back on, which has prompted a few household searches. I'm not expecting it to improve when he has the patch put on his eye - he'll be trying to pull it off constantly. hmm

ouryve Sun 04-May-14 16:42:50

The thought of putting a patch on DS2's eye fills me with dread. It was hard enough getting him to wear glasses! He's got quite good at putting them down in a safe place, but he was sitting in the back lobby with his nook, waiting for the back door to magically unlock (he'd been out and gone through the gate, so I brought him in). There's no tables in there, so he probably thought the safest place was on top of a welly, or something!

Good luck with the haircuts. Ice cream for md morning snack?

Hopefully we'll do what we'd planned for today, tomorrow. It rained all night, so we didn't bother, today, as we're going to take the boys to the Sunderland Steam Spectacular and it would have been a bit damp and muddy (not good with a boy who randomly sits down)

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Sun 04-May-14 16:57:26

Ice cream for DS2. DS1 won't touch ice cream. Chocolate may work with him though. grin

They're upstairs shrieking and playing right now. I'll have to put a stop to it soon, or neighbours from 3-4 houses away will start complaining. hmm They're THAT loud today.

Have fun at the Steam Spectacular tomorrow! Hope it's good weather for you.

NoHaudinMaWheest Sun 04-May-14 19:02:05

Got back from visiting ds in London late last night. I was completely exhausted but it was a good day.
Ds was actually quite happy and I got far fewer 'I don't know's than usual. He didn't even complain (much) when I got the wrong bus and we had to walk further than expected. He tried custard for the first time and liked it! Nowadays he is usual up for trying something completely new but anything he has encountered when younger and decided against is a total no-no so I was impressed that he decided to give the custard a go.

dd has a cold and as she has the school production next week she is trying to save her voice by using sign language. Aside from the frustration of not always getting her signs it is really odd as she is usually a terrible blether.

hazeyjane Sun 04-May-14 20:24:29

that cake looks gorgeous, ouryve.

i think ds has got sodding hayfever. i am glad it isn't a cold, as we won't have to cancel op on weds, but sad that he looks so confused by the constant snot and red eyes, of course he has spent the whole day rubbing snot over his face so it is red and sore and sticky looking. he had a dose of cetrizine this morning, but it didn't seem to make much of a difference, will try to see gp on tues.

went to the beautiful bluebell woods this afternoon, just down the road from us. they open twice a year to cars, so that they are more accesible to people who may struggle to walk through them. unfortunately it has become so popular that we couldn't get in, despite the man at the gate saying that we were one of the few cars with a blue badge.

youarewinning Sun 04-May-14 20:42:04

Scrap my earlier comment on everything being ok on the behaviour front. DS has been a ball of frustrated anger all afternoon. I can see why he was annoyed on one occasion but he doesn't do simple talking - oh no he demonstrates his rage for all to see!

ouryve Sun 04-May-14 21:06:22

Delicious, hazey though DS1 has decided i should never make buttercream ever again. He won't be having any more, then. We all take loratadine, in this house. 3 of us take a whole tablet and DS2 has half a tablet crush up in his yoghurt. Cetirizine doesn't agree with me or DS1 - knocks me out cold and throws DS1 into a rage (what doesn't? hmm) Sorry you didn't get to enjoy the bluebells. That's such a shame sad

Good to hear your DS sounding more positive, NHMW

youare <knowing nod>

DS1's had a real cob on since tasting the cake. Didn't help that he went back to insisting that DS2 had the livingroom door open when he was sitting on the stairs and DS1 managed to slam the door on his finger. No idea what state his finger is in - he wouldn't let me anywhere near it to look. I think he might be having teething niggles, too. His canines have been working a little loose for a while and he's complaining that one of his new outer incisors hurts - probably jostling for space. All in all, we've had such a cheerful evening of him complaining that his life is awful and he wishes he never existed sad

DS2's been nice and cuddly, at least.

ouryve Sun 04-May-14 21:07:25

DS2 slammed the door - when DS1 tried to open it.

MiniSoksMakeHardWork Sun 04-May-14 21:24:38

<sinks into a quiet corner, orders large gin and lemonade>
Peace! I need somewhere to hide. May I join you here? Ds1 has had an awful, awful day. He's undiagnosed suspected autism and/or ADHD. He's harder work than eldest dd and younger dts together. Today has been very long and very trying. And confused but we don't know why.

ouryve Sun 04-May-14 21:57:36

<hands minisoks a huge comforting wodge of cake>

zzzzz Sun 04-May-14 22:13:06

Hi all.

Nhmw custard! Wow grin. The very thought of the trip makes me tired, but it all sounds worth it. envy I'd love ds to eat custard.

ouryve that cake looks fantastic. I'm hungry!

mini wine

hazey hay fever? sad how annoying, but I guess at least wed still on. How annoying about the bluebells. It really was such a beautiful day here.

NoHaudinMaWheest Sun 04-May-14 22:42:37

Hazey sad for bluebells and hay fever. I never found tablets worked for hayfever on any of us. Beconase nasal spray and opticrom eye drops on the other hand are very effective though I appreciate they might be difficult to administer to your ds.

ouryve cakes looks great. Hope the finger is ok.

minisoks welcome.

SummerRain Mon 05-May-14 00:43:51

Ok, ye've successfully booted me into action, I actually did some work on my OU assignment. It's a surprisingly good excuse to hide in my room actually, don't know why I didn't do it sooner!

I'm still panicking about everything else but I can't do much until Tuesday.

Minisoks wine welcome, I'm sorry you've had a rough day, Ds1 has asd and adhd and the bad days are really bad.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Mon 05-May-14 07:49:56

Had to kill a massive spider this morning. It's May, the month of the spider. sigh.

I was worried DS1 might get a bit edgy over the spider if he saw it... I should have known better. This is the boy that picks up bees, bugs, whatever. His question? Did it's eyes pop out when you hit it with the fly swatter? confused

bochead Mon 05-May-14 08:56:36

hazeyjane - can you get hold of local honey? It has to be from a hive within 5 miles of where you live. It's the BEST hayfever remedy my family has ever come across. DS has a teaspoon on his toast in the summer months and it works with all symptoms apart from the itchy eyes though it helps with those. We now rely on local honey plus new era homeopathic pills.

I'm knocked out by piriton etc so had to find safe alternatives, and over the years have tried everything! Local honey is the best remedy I've ever found.

youarewinning Mon 05-May-14 09:18:54

Hay fever started here too. I only get it for 3 weeks a year around this time and it mainly affects my eyes.
DS has not stopped sneezing since he woke up. I give him cetirizine but I'll need to get a repeat from go tomorrow as only have a little. (We use that instead of Piriton for reactions if we can get away with it).

hazeyjane Mon 05-May-14 09:26:44

Thankyou for the honey tip, will try. Ds up half the night snoring and snuffling, cetrizine has done nothing. His face is now encrusted with snot that i don't think will ever come off. Maybe it is a cold? Hmmmm.

Dh gets horrendous hayfever smack in the middle of the busiest bit of the cricket season, it is awful and makes him very grumpy.

zzzzz Mon 05-May-14 09:44:41

Hadn't heard about the honey thing. How magical if it works grin. I love home remedies.

hazey I wet tissues with warm water for the very sore faced and moisturise their skin. It's very sore to endlessly wipe.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Mon 05-May-14 09:48:16

Oh I'll have to try the honey thing. We have a jar of local honey from the beekeeper that's been removing those bees. My dumb question for the day... will honey attract bees?? blush Like if the boys eat it and then go outside? (you can see I've reached paranoia level on the bees, can't you?)

zzzzz Mon 05-May-14 09:54:14

Not unless they are using it as sunscreen. grin

I LOVE honey, and bees ignore me. Perhaps I smell like one of their own!

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Mon 05-May-14 09:57:33

lol No, not as sunscreen. However, that's a good reminder for me to put sunscreen on them. blush I figured that DS2 is such a messy eater that he'd have honey traces on fingers and face. grin I suppose it'll keep me on my toes in cleaning his face and hands. (a nearly impossible task keeping them clean!!)

But he has miserable hay fever, so it'll be interesting to see if it helps. The chewable meds he is taking do help some.

PolterGoose Mon 05-May-14 10:25:48

Hayfever is a bastard. Local honey didn't work for my ds, he's on Cetirizine, Piriton, eye drops and Ventolin as he gets asthmatic with it too.

zzzzz Mon 05-May-14 10:58:55

Oh polt sad I was in love with the idea of local honey. Reality is very unintune with the house of zzzzz, so I will try it anyway. I think zzzzzlets are particularly susceptible to the placebo effect wink

PolterGoose Mon 05-May-14 11:24:41

zzzzz I'd heard really good stuff about local honey, I guess ds is just too allergic, bizarrely it was hayfever that led to his only A&E trip, but I also have weird allergies and am on daily antihistamines and my sister has severe hayfever which nothing so far has worked on, doesn't mean it won't work for your lot though.

ouryve Mon 05-May-14 12:16:48

I used to like chewing on iceberg lettuce when my hayfever snots were at their worst, in my teens. I've since discovered that a great big glass of cold water works wonders. If my nose starts streaming, these days, I have a huge drink of water and it all goes away. Been trying to persuade DS1 to do the same, but he acts like he's allergic to drinking.

We got to the Steam fair, this morning, We managed over an hour before the boys started to get edgy - and it wasn't the youngest. He cried when he realised we were going home. He was absolutely entranced by the little traction engines - one of which was being proudly guarded by a kindred spirit grin

There was lots of steam and smoke and DS1 insisted that DH took photos of All The Cars, though was infinitely more impressed by a car from The Royal and Heartbeat than the one driven by Starsky and Hutch! DS1 also spotted a spelling mistake on the merry go round!

bochead Mon 05-May-14 12:51:09

I don't know how local honey compares to meds tbh simply because after taking meds I'm never awake enough to find out! Fizzy water helps DS too with the snotty nose but the school lunch box police nixed that idea!

I had terrible trouble last summer when I was put on anti-histamines after a false widow spider attack - had to ignore the packet instructions and only take them when I could find sitters for DS. Piriton is the work of the devil as far as I'm concerned, though I suppose I could take a tablet instead of a general anesthetic if the need ever arose?

Generally insects don't like peppermint so in tick/midge country I mix up some peppermint essential oil with water in a superdrug spray bottle and squirt it all over - seems to keep em away. I used to grow loadsa the stuff round the kitchen door when my back garden backed onto a river years back. I wonder if it works with bees? Worth trying perhaps?

PolterGoose Mon 05-May-14 13:02:28

I wish Piriton had that effect on ds wink

After getting bitten by a horse fly last year I've taken to wearing Incognito outside, smells lovely too smile

SummerRain Mon 05-May-14 13:51:21

Piriton knocks me out too, it's a pain as I can't take it during the day at all. My hatfever hasn't been bad the last few years thankfully... I used to suffer badly

Came down for a cuppa and a smoke and was besieged by more weeping and pleading from dp. I can't handle much more of this.

ouryve Mon 05-May-14 14:10:59

You need to carry scorecards with you, Summer. What did this latest display merit? 3/10?

Well, now we know why there's sodding water been pouring in around the front door. There's sodding great holes in the brickwork around it, where the earth wires pass through. For some reason, the same hole's on the other side, too. DH has been getting handy with the expanding foam filler.

zzzzz Mon 05-May-14 14:26:09

Does anyone else think ouryve is going to end up in a bunker grin.

summer can't he move out for a bit? You're going to drive each other round the bend.

ouryve Mon 05-May-14 14:46:51

Better that than a colander, zzzzz.

We're agreed with our neighbour that every problem these houses has is water. We're not even in a flood zone (on top f a hill, 500' above sea level!) and yet every single repair we do is either to keep water out or fix the effects of water coming in. Though the best one, by far, was the water pouring all over our bed from the water tank in the loft - even the water allowed inside can't behave itself!

Still, it could be my parents' house. We predict that will be in the North Sea by the middle of the century. Every Spring, my mum takes the dog for a walk to see how much more of the cliffs have gone.

zzzzz Mon 05-May-14 14:53:05

Colander here too. Our water tank burst most spectacularly and dripped from attic to kitchen. Grim and VERY expensive.
Weened windows, and insulation.

SummerRain Mon 05-May-14 14:54:38

7/10 definitely... wink

His grand moving out plan seems to involve disappearing to his mother's 3 hours away... And it's my fault he can't do that because I need him close by for childcare hmm

Ouryve... I can relate to the water issues, when I lie in bed at night all I can hear is water flowing around in the walls. Where does it go? Why is it there? How long before it tries to escape and floods the kitchen again? confused

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Mon 05-May-14 14:55:57

Summer I like ouryve's suggestion of score cards. What exactly do you think he'd say if you just peered at him over the rim of the coffee mug and said "I'll give it a 3 out of 10, dear," and retreated to the newspaper? grin

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Mon 05-May-14 14:56:52

You could maybe calmly point out that if he added a wail or two and some teeth gnashing, that you might stretch it to a 5 out of 10. grin

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Mon 05-May-14 14:58:41

And it's my fault he can't do that because I need him close by for childcare

Hmm... perhaps line up childcare yourself (and I don't mean that in a snotty way, by the way). God knows the childcare must be cheaper than the counselling you'll need if he continues on this way. hmm

SummerRain Mon 05-May-14 15:02:48

It's not even the cost, when I work I often have to be out of the house at 4.30. There's no childcare around that would cover that. And he's fucking unemployed so why on earth should I even have to think about childcare? If he was working I'd happily make my own arrangements but he's not so he should be doing it... Without acting like he's doing it for me.

Sorry, that just sort of poured out <deep breath>

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Mon 05-May-14 15:13:43

Summer Unfortunately, I've learned ages ago with STBXH that logic goes right out the window for them in the midst of a tantrum. hmm I completely see your point, however, I had to bite the bullet and get my own childcare as I couldn't rely on STBXH. It sucks. It really does. And I completely understand that he's making things harder for you. Prat.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Mon 05-May-14 15:14:08

When I say Prat, obviously I mean him, not you. grin

SummerRain Mon 05-May-14 15:22:14


signandsingcarols Mon 05-May-14 16:45:55

summer, you do know you can request an extension for your TMA, (full credit module up to two extensions in the course of the year, unless it is the last TMA..) tutror can agree up to three weeks past submission date... (most of us are pretty accomodating wink grin )

SummerRain Mon 05-May-14 16:52:21

I know sign, but my problem is procrastination until the last possible second... I'd only waste the extensions too and still end up panicking at the last minute wink Thanks though

I'm stupidly happy - went out and bought a load of new makeup today. After losing a bit of weight, I've finally started feeling confident enough to wear it. Only eyeshadow, lipgloss, mascara and eyeliner. But I've gone from thinking "Well, what's the point, I won't look good, no matter what I do" to "Actually, I look alright, and I like my eyes, so I'll start to jazz them up a bit" is a big thing smile

As is being able to do mascara on my bottom lashes - I always used to flinch!

Yay to newfound self confidence! Next up, a complete wardrobe overhaul to release my inner rock chick grin

Can I ask a random question? If your DC had 1:1 support in nursery, what did their 1:1 do? I'd love to specialise in working with children with SN when I qualify, and just wondered what sort of things it entails smile

youarewinning Mon 05-May-14 17:29:29

Been out this afternoon with my friend, our children and their friends to the rural show/ bank holiday festivities. DS in a lovely happy mood hmm think the fairground bit was a tad too much - he stood there with his hands over his ears!!! Wanted to be carried a lot too.
He actually coped quite well but he is becoming increasingly aggressive ATM - and a bouncy castle got the wrath of it today!

hazeyjane Mon 05-May-14 19:59:40

Summer, like the idea of a scorecard. If only life were a Tom and Jerry cartoon and a cartoon anvil could just drop out of the sky during one of his performances.

Unsettling day here, surprise visit from 6 workmen fixing a hole in our roof, and trying us in the house with scaffolding, followed by a difficult afternoon with friends. Feel knackered now.

Lollipop - yay to knew found confidence! Ds has a full time 1-1 at preschool. She spent a long time getting to know ds and helping him settle in, he is very attached to her, so she now tries to leave him for short periods - so he doesn't cling to her as much as he clings to me! She helps him play with another child, so they will do a puzzle all together or play ball/shop etc. ds likes routine, so when he comes in he helps her set up a board with a visual timetable of the session, then he uses the cards to tell her what he wants to do - so it might be duplo then drawing then a story. She sits with him at snack, because he needs help sometimes. She has a SPeech and language programme set out by the SALT, and she does 10 minutes in a session of this sat out in another room. She signs everything she can with him, and encourages the other children and keyworkers to sign too. At the end of a session she writes in his communication book, saying what he has done, whether he has had a snack, nappy change etc. One little thing she does, which is really successful with ds is have a distraction toy in her pocket, ds has a really slapstick sense of humour, and when he gets fixated on something, or upset, she will bring out the toy (usually a silly wind up thing) and make it fall of the table - it usually works, unless he is massively upset, and then the only thing she can do is keep him away from everyone, and cuddle him.

Sorry that was a mammoth essay, hope it was helpful!

Hazey it was very helpful, thank you. It sounds a little bit like what the practitioners do where I volunteer. For example, we work with children individually on things their parents suggest, more along the lines of helping learn their colours or role playing with them, but you get the idea. They also run a group for children with SN at the centre, and work with S&L or OT services to devise plans to help the children. It's a lovely environment to be learning in smile

youarewinning Mon 05-May-14 20:32:32

From my experience of being an EY practitioner I would advise the biggest skill is knowing when to support the child and when to step back and let them use their own skills and/or find their own way. Your role can be to step in as and when required at certain times and for others follow set programmes of support or therapy or use directed play to help develop a skill you've targeted. Tbh lolli your passion and understanding for the role are abundant on here and I think you'll intuitively be great at the role.

zzzzz Mon 05-May-14 20:57:51

"Unsettling day here, surprise visit from 6 workmen fixing a hole in our roof, and trying us in the house with scaffolding, followed by a difficult afternoon with friends. Feel knackered now."

OMG I'd be gibbering in a corner.

SummerRain Mon 05-May-14 22:06:59

hazey, thank you... the image of a cartoon anvil hitting him on the head mid flow just made me laugh for the first time today grin

Sorry you had such a weird day though... workmen appearing with scaffolding on a bank holiday with no warning would have me twitching and reaching for the booze tbh, don't blame you for being perturbed by it!

ouryve Mon 05-May-14 22:24:34

Lollipop - DS2's 1:1 in nursery (and before them as he got a pilot 2 year old place) was his interpreter to the rest of the world, pretty much. He was (and still is) very severely delayed and relied on her to introduce him to the nursery routines he could join in with, do other activities that were more relevant to him, where he couldn't, do physio prescribed exercises with him (lots of fun in the soft play room). And she changed his nappy, when he needed it!

hazeyjane Tue 06-May-14 09:22:22

Glad my anvil made you laugh, I have imagined many cartoon anvils dropping on people's heads in the past, a whole TAC meeting was obliterated once.

Have to take dds out of school today to get ds to 2 appointments in Oxford, couldn't find childcare, the first is at 1.30 the second at 3.45, we should be out just in time to hit rush hour traffic. We may be letting Ronald McDonald deal with tea.

A slightly random query. Does anyone know of any removal firms in London (Islington/Archway move). My mum has to move at the end of the month, and my dsis and I are trying to arrange the move whilst juggling my 3 children, dh's busiest time of the year at work and her and her partner living in two countries - we have decided to throw money at the problem, because otherwise we may all kill each other.

ouryve Tue 06-May-14 12:38:18

Well, I've got DS1's final statement through. They've taken my pointers on board and it's a lot better now, than it was. New school have the reports, anyhow and can influence any amendments they think are needed at next AR.

A bit perturbed about a note on the accompanying letter stating that my DS might not be entitled to free home to school transport. Will speak to new school about that, when we visit, tomorrow (would have been our tribunal date!) and chase that up on Thursday.

Still waiting for the Man From Siemens-Bosch. It's wonderful drying weather and it's being wasted, waiting! My laundry basket is threatening to take over the back lobby, since we changed all the bedding on Sunday.

Bilberry Tue 06-May-14 13:02:46

Ouryve hope the washing machine man has arrived - it is frustrating waiting in for folk. I also hope the transport thing is wrong - surely if the LA have agreed that he needs that school they should get him to it?

I'm off to write another DPA letter follow up as just realised it is 40 days since LA got my request.

ouryve Tue 06-May-14 14:27:21

Good luck with the arse kicking letter, Bilberry.

Washer man been and gone. Dryer still not fixed as he noticed a dodgy bearing in a fan, but had the wrong fan in his van. Have to Wait until Friday.

Have a duvet cover washing, so it can get a good blast in the breeze and have some chance of drying, this week. Laundry basket looks a little less likely to take over the house without it in.

ouryve Tue 06-May-14 14:32:14

Actually - what I will say for this guy is that there was no mansplaining involved, at all. He talked to me as if I understood how the washer worked as well as he does. Perhaps I give out that vibe!

zzzzz Tue 06-May-14 14:47:26

Friday??? Can't he go to the store and get the bearing confused????

You gonna need more cake and to stop washing so much <sloven>

ouryve Tue 06-May-14 14:49:05

The whole fan needs changing out, as it's a sealed unit.

I've just have 2 slices of cake. I've left one for DS2, since it's his cake. DH eats enough crap, without my enablement.

Bilberry Tue 06-May-14 16:04:38

So annoying when that happens - in my experience they never have parts in the van. At least you can wash if not dry - here's hoping for warm sun and a decent breeze for the next few days (though keep the breeze down South with you). I have had a many trades folk explain things to my dh - normally looking over my shoulder to do so. My DH doesn't have a clue about practical things it is all down to me!

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Tue 06-May-14 16:15:38

ouryve I am surprised that in this day and age (showing my age here with this phrase I suppose) he cannot get the part/fan he needs within 24 hours at the latest and have it fixed. confused

summer hope you can get all your work done so you can then relax a bit with less pressure on you!

ouryve Tue 06-May-14 17:09:12

As far as I can make out, when I'm actually home, we're forecast rain between now and Friday. I have my white kingsize duvet cover blowing in the breeze, in the back yard and I'm hoping that some bird doesn't go and shit on it, for my pains.

ouryve Tue 06-May-14 17:11:43

Alice - he probably could have got the part sooner, but didn't have a slot in his schedule until then. These are pretty good at getting out fast. Always been within a few days. When we had to deal with serviceforce, it was typically 10 days or more.

And this particular guy did have the correct pump when ours packed up just before Christmas. (we don't have much luck with washers, I'm afraid!)

MiniSoksMakeHardWork Tue 06-May-14 17:34:13

Thanks for the wine and cake. I've emerged from my corner now. Ds1 had a reasonably good bank holiday Monday, given we spent the afternoon with my parents, sister and 3 nieces. Their neighbours were passing old garden toys over the fence so everyone had plenty to pay with and little bickering. Normally that can be a major trigger for ds, but we even managed to leave him for a few minutes while dh and I walked up to the supermarket. Was bliss having a few snatched minutes to stroll back by the river.

Today has been a Lego day, so ds1 has been happily playing with that, although putting it away is another matter. Tomorrow is going to be a test though. Mum is picking the 4 dc up from preschool/school and will be putting them to bed while I take dh for a hospital appointment. Means I'll have another rubbish day Thursday I guess. But needs must.

SummerRain Tue 06-May-14 18:23:25

Ugh, when your day starts at 3am with a pee soaked child and by 9:30 you're stuck in traffic with a five year old puking into a coffee cup you just sort of give up don't you?

Nothing has gone right today, drivers license office had a systems crash so I have to go back Thurs, couldn't find a shirt for Ds1, dp has spent every minute I've been at home pleading, I think I pissed off my friend majorly and he's pissed at me, I've gotten stuck behind every tractor driver in Ireland, Dps mother is being a pain in the arse about Sunday.

Is it too early to hit the bottle? wine

Ouryve, at least the washer is fixed, damp clothes are marginally less offensive than dirty clothes draped all over the house wink

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Tue 06-May-14 18:29:09

ouryve well, we'll let him off the hook then. grin Here's hoping it's fixed Friday.

Summer commiserations. I had one DC at home today as he was puking during the night (thankfully into a big bowl - I don't think his aim is good enough for a coffee cup!). I've been eyeing the chilled bottle of wine in my fridge for about 20 minutes now, wondering when it's late enough in the evening to respectably have a glass. grin

SummerRain Tue 06-May-14 18:49:25

Unfortunately empty coffee cups were all I had in the car, he'd already vomited on himself at this point and we were on our way to camhs... Joy. He hadnt had breakfast so it was just bile really, I was quite impressed with his accuracy though! It's funny, he only ever gets carsick on the trips where I absolutely need to turn up on time and looking respectable, he's often on the car far longer with no problem but if it's an appointment with a hcp and I'm running late I can almost guarantee I'll hear the plaintive little vom-cough from the back seat hmm

It's after 5 so we're good, bottoms up winewink

PolterGoose Tue 06-May-14 18:51:09

Definitely wine time

hazeyjane Tue 06-May-14 19:26:08

Sympathy for the vommy dcs.

We have shed a paed - yay!! Ds has had a clear chest for ages now, and the last X-ray was good, so we are sticking with the one chest paed, and don't have to go up to JR to see this paed (although door open for return if needed). wine on me, something bubbly I think.

<sticks head in sand about general anaesthetic tomorrow>

ouryve Tue 06-May-14 20:29:38

Summer - no - correct procedure is to drink the contents of the bottle then tell P (not D) where he can shove it.

That's well worth something celebratory, Hazey. Good luck for tomorrow flowers

Well, after the dearth of pull ups in stock anywhere for DS2, MIL has bought 15 packs for us half price from ASDA AND Amazon now have them in stock (even cheaper than ASDA with Amazon Family) and are dispatching 9 packets. Enough to last us a couple of months!

alwaysrushing Tue 06-May-14 20:53:35

Oh please can I join in with the wine vat? Sitting in grimy hotel having just eaten the equivalent of an m and s meal for 4 whilst dear son on trial x2days at potential new school... Booked flights, drove miles, spent 9 sodding hours at penguin enclosure at local zoo yesterda,only for him to say as soon as we walk in said lovely school that has taken me a year to find- "oh no. I don't think this is for me at all. I don't think we"ll bother with this one.".... Aaargh.....

Bilberry Tue 06-May-14 21:24:24

Always sounds a bit grim! is he coming round to the school or is he sticking with his first impression? Sounds a long way from home if it is flights and hours of driving so I'm guessing residential.... What did you think of the school?

ouryve Tue 06-May-14 21:38:50

Oh, always sad Do you think he'll come round.

DS1 was keen to try the school he's going to be starting at, but completely bottled it on his first assessment - the primary teacher dared to ask him to write in the context of literacy! He was persuaded to try again and school were persuaded to give him another go and he has the school named on his statement, now. The past year might just have aged me by 5, though.

alwaysrushing Tue 06-May-14 21:45:02

Thank you bilberry. Grim but oddly laughable... Or maybe that's just the wine. Yes residential- that's what he wants- it's 6th form and I have been looking and phoning and being rejected for months !! He is very academic in a maths-y way, so wants trad A levels, but also needs life skills, social speech therapy and love care and understanding- oh and he is not keen on "those other asd wierdo's"... The magic of self delusion!!! Soooo as you can imagine finding a school to fit all those boxes has been a big big ask. But this school seemed it. Lovely, kind, understanding, good A levels, tiny, speech therapy, ot.... But no. " I don't think we'll bother with this one". Where's that m and s cake????

alwaysrushing Tue 06-May-14 21:49:40

Know the feeling oureve. Ageing by the second. And getting fatter. DS there now, I keep phoning him but he's either lost his phone, turned it off or forgotten he ever had it. Any of the above is a possibility!

youarewinning Wed 07-May-14 07:24:41

Yay hazey that is brilliant news. grin

Can't add anything ATM. Hit that 'I can't do this stage'. Managed 4 hours sleep last night between DS sitting bolt upright in bed, having huge spasms, dribbling so much I had to change his top, then twitching and then repeating.

zzzzz Wed 07-May-14 10:08:06

How lovely hazey and just what you need to hear before GA. I will be sending goose power your way for today. Honk honk

homework Wed 07-May-14 10:21:02

Hope everything goes well for mini hazey today . At least they where as good as there word giving him next available appointment.

Always he may even be enjoying himself that he's not heard the phone to answer it , you never know . Strange things do happen.

I've a few study days coming up for work , so should start to read the manuals , then off out to meet son after school first counselling session today .

PolterGoose Wed 07-May-14 10:21:19

hazey great news and good luck for today flowers

hazeyjane Wed 07-May-14 14:20:57

thankyou for the good lucks. home now, that was horrible. staff were amazing though. poor ds snuggled next to me bleeding onto my lap, feeling very sorry for himself.

zzzzz Wed 07-May-14 14:28:58

Oh hazey ours was horrible too! but ds is so much brighter since. I think the cavity must have been painful and possibly draining his immune system. Keep the painkillers going for at least three days. Honk honk

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Wed 07-May-14 15:48:22

Sigh. Another trip in to the school to talk to the assistant head for tomorrow. I was told by the TA today (laughingly hmm) that DS1's tummy was upset this afternoon and he had a lot of gas, so at one point they had him stand by the door due to the smell. shock Charming. So apparently even though he's complaining he doesn't feel well, they didn't ring me (I could easily have picked him up early) but instead opted to humiliate him in front of the whole class. angry I'm going to have to make a complaint. She (the TA) apparently thought it was amusing. In the meantime, while she's telling me this, DS1 is moaning that his tummy hurts while she's handing him over to me afterschool, and now he's gone to bed to lie down (unheard of for DS1, so he's obviously not feeling well). hmm

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Wed 07-May-14 15:53:25

hazey glad it's over now and he can recuperate with extra cuddles from his mummy.

PolterGoose Wed 07-May-14 16:15:48

hazey so glad it's done, honks for a speedy recovery flowers

Alice angry

ouryve Wed 07-May-14 17:15:25

Glad it's over with, Hazey.

Long, long day. DS1 had a brilliant day at his new school. Even though the menu wasn't at all to his liking (lancashire hotpot or veggie cottage pie!) they found plenty for him to eat for lunch and he tucked into loads of food and had plenty to drink.

And DS2 was bemused by finding MIL waiting at home for him after school, but settled down when he found the packet of crisps I'd left out for him (we spared her the trauma of actually moving anywhere with him outdoors). He gave us great big hugs once it had sunk in that we were home!

ouryve Wed 07-May-14 17:16:50

Alice, that's just bloody callous of the TA sad

zzzzz Wed 07-May-14 17:21:20

Alice angry I think not. Write to the head. FFS I'll stand her by the door because she smells......what is wrong with some people.

I'd want an apology.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Wed 07-May-14 17:32:45

I'll have to write instead of talking to them, because DS1 is definitely ill. He'll be home tomorrow. He actually fell asleep afterschool for a bit and is running a low temp at the moment. I'm so cross that they utterly disregarded him obviously complaining of illness and didn't even bother to ring me. angry Combine that with him having to stand at the door in humiliation puts me firmly in the "livid" category.

ouryve Wed 07-May-14 18:03:04

You see, I can understand the is he isn't he thing, because sometimes kids feel a bit off colour and get over it and sometimes they deteriorate spectacularly quickly. When schools keep kids in under those circumstances, though, you expect them to look after them a bit (sip of water, a quiet cosy corner and a book to read or DVD to watch), rather than humiliate them and laugh at them, though.

ouryve Wed 07-May-14 18:04:12

Too many thoughs!

zzzzz Wed 07-May-14 18:08:05

I think it's "unacceptable professional conduct", a bit like this child being stood on a table for leaving her book at home.
It was demeaning and the TA was laughing about it. angry

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Wed 07-May-14 18:13:47

Yes zzzzz and I was even more frustrated that I specifically said to her "I don't think it's particularly funny, he's obviously uncomfortable. Why would you embarrass him like that?" And she just brushed it off with a laugh. So I then basically said "I'll have to address this when he's not ill, but I don't think it's funny" and left to take him home as he was quite upset. So even though I pointed out that it wasn't on, she still laughed it off and dismissed it. I agree, unprofessional. Would you laugh off a child that is moaning and a bit weepy over a tummy ache? Because that's what he was like when I picked him up (and still is).

zzzzz Wed 07-May-14 18:25:15

Use the phrase "unacceptable professional conduct" in the letter. It should set off alarm bells.
I'd also "draw a picture" with words for them as to how they would feel if they were treated like this in a meeting, or perhaps if this was done to their elderly parents in a care home.

That isn't even touching on the fact the child is unwell. Take him to the Dr in the morning so you have a record of him being ill.


AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Wed 07-May-14 18:47:43

I will, thanks. He's dosed up on calpol right now, laying on the sofa, weepy and unhappy, with a big bowl next to him (in case he vomits). I suspect I'm in for a long night - it was all I could do to get calpol into him, he's insisting his melatonin will make him puke.

I remember being in school and the school secretary telling me I couldn't ring my mum to come get me as she didn't think I was really ill. Imagine her surprise when I then vomited all over her desk. blush At last she then let me ring my mum. grin

hazeyjane Wed 07-May-14 19:37:01

That is horrible, Alice.

Ds not allowed melatonin tonight, so think we could be in for a long night. He is really cross with me,and very hoarse because the breathing tube fell out and they had a battle to get it back in so his throat is swollen and sore.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Wed 07-May-14 19:39:34

aw hazey hope he's feeling better soon. Fingers crossed he can fall asleep and get some rest.

hazeyjane Wed 07-May-14 20:48:34

Thankyou, he is dark eyed and fighting sleep.

In the hospital earlier, having a fairly stressful wait for Ds to come out of the operating theatre, a man told me off for speaking too loudly. The irony being that Dh and I were whooping it up learning British Sign Language from a book on the kindle - I explained to the man that I was just talking at a normal conversational level in a public waiting room, but he insisted that I was disturbing everyone there (all 3 of them - 2 of whom were completely unbothered). I apologised and we continued, in a whisper. Dh then taught me the sign for 'the man is a dick head'. Who knew sign language would have so many uses.

zzzzz Wed 07-May-14 21:09:08

grin I like the sound of your Dh hazey

Did they get all the dental work done?

hazeyjane Wed 07-May-14 21:31:09

They took 4 molars out rather than 2, cleaned, checked his palate and took bloods. They were going to put seals on, but because of the incident with the breathing tube, his throat started to swell, so they couldn't risk continuing.

NoHaudinMaWheest Wed 07-May-14 21:34:34

Hazey and Alice hope you manage to get reasonable nights.

Always how is the school visit going.

Got an update on Ds's OCD treatment in hospital from his psychologist. They haven't started the really tricky work yet but ds managed to eat a satsuma and some chocolate with his bare hands (usually he would use a wrapper or sort of suck it off a plate). The unit took them on a trip to some stables and he actually managed to stroke a horse!!!! I never thought he would be able to do that.

lougle Wed 07-May-14 21:54:08

Hello! Just popping in to say that I've put details of the MNSN conference in SN:Children.

Great news about the hospital stuff, NoHaudin! Hope hazeyboy is recovering well too.

PolterGoose Wed 07-May-14 21:56:38

Sending sleepy vibes hazey

NoHaudin shock and wow at ds's achievements, just fantastic, and so soon, well done him grin

hazeyjane Wed 07-May-14 22:25:18

And ds is finally asleep, phew, knackered so off to bed.

Well done to your ds, NoHaudin smile

NoHaudinMaWheest Wed 07-May-14 22:54:10

Glad he's asleep. Hope you get a good night.

Galena Thu 08-May-14 06:34:51

Alice, that is well and truly unacceptable. When I was teaching we'd have children who would complain of tummy aches fairly regularly, and we'd try to 'jolly them along' <read 'not humiliate them'!>. However, as soon as they began to smell noxious we'd realise they really were ill and send them home. Some parents would be furious, however, because 'Well, 'e's not really ill, is 'e? Why should I miss Jeremy Kyle work to pick him up?'

Hazey, what a brave boy - and brave parents. Well done, it's all done now, and hopefully the night wasn't too awful.

I've got governor training today, all day, at a posh hotel. At least I should be fed copious biscuits and a nice lunch!

homework Thu 08-May-14 07:03:16

No haudin that you managed to get stuff sorted . Now just your lovely daughter to get support for.
Hazey least it's all done now , hope little one had good night if he's really sore ask gp for some pr analgesic , works loads better than oral , especially whe n finding it hard to swallow .
Alice if that had been her kid she be up in arms about it , totally unacceptable behaviour on part of his TA and class teacher for allowing this to happen. Well within your rights to complain about it.
Well first appointment with counsellor gone okay , let's see how it's goes after a few weeks .

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Thu 08-May-14 07:41:02

After checking DS1's backpack, I found that they're going to the supermarket as a trip on Friday (nice - 2 days notice for kids that need lots of prep, eh?). The supermarket is one of the places that DS1 cannot cope with - which is why I try to avoid taking him there unless it's absolutely necessary. The people, all the sensory input, the walking around... there are numerous flash points throughout the supermarket and he's a nightmare for ages afterwards, we have yet to get through a trip to the supermarket without some type of meltdown. And this will be one he's never been to, so unfamiliar as well. This is why he always uses a wheelchair when we go, to limit his anxiety somewhat and keep the running to a minimum. Sigh.

I'm going to have to tell the school no, and they're going to kick off about it. But if he goes, and then has behavioural problems the rest of the day, then he'll get in trouble for the behavioural problems. hmm (which I don't agree with, by the way)

Some days I just want to go back to bed.

homework Thu 08-May-14 10:05:16

Alice is he well enough to be back in school anyway , let alone do a trip that they not done much of a risk assessment on how he's going to manage .
If he really needs to go to a supermarket go to one of the twenty four hour ones very late in evening , lot less people around , he get to see how they operate then , as stuff doing things like stocking up , they might even be helpful and explain how store works from duty manager if you ask to speak with him beforehand .
He then covering the same work as class but in a quieter environment.

Have you spoken to school about yesterday's incident .

ouryve Thu 08-May-14 11:37:28

Alice - keep them on their toes and ask to see a risk assessment before you give them your nay.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Thu 08-May-14 12:13:20

The problem is that they've disregarded the steps listed on the risk assessments a couple times, and it's shaken any confidence I have with them for trips away from the school. If I tell them that I do not want him to go on the supermarket trip, they're going to make a huge deal of it... again... just like the swimming issue.

I did speak to the head of KS1 about yesterday's incident. I trust her to follow up on it - she was not happy with how it was handled and stated that she agreed it was unprofessional and not appropriate at all. So she stated she would be discussing it with the TA today.

I don't think he'll be well enough to go to school yet tomorrow anyway. blush I am not up to a battle right now over something as ridiculous as a supermarket trip. He's been to the supermarket loads of times and we've discussed all the different aspects of the jobs and how things are stocked and set up (because I've talked about all these things to him to keep him focusing on me instead of having a meltdown while we're in there). The school letter says it's about budgeting and shopping - we've discussed that too. So I don't really think he'll miss much. I know that sounds dismissive, but I am going to choose my battles. I will be sidestepping this one, I think.

ouryve Thu 08-May-14 12:27:35

They can do budgeting and "shopping" without the need for a big supermarket, anyhow [eyeroll]

Actually, I think DS1 would benefit from a behind the scenes look at a supermarket. The evening staff in Sainsburys leave the shelf tickets at an angle to alert night staff that a particular product needs attention. DS1 goes round "helpfully" putting them all straight, again grin

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Thu 08-May-14 13:02:33

lol ds1 would do that too

ouryve Thu 08-May-14 17:15:05

Well, DS1 has spent 20 minutes grumpily piddling about with the accessibility settings on the desktop PC because DH has put the timed lock back on it, he's ignored the countdown and it's locked him out withit him saving what he was doing!

I think DH might be in for an earbashing when he gets home!

ouryve Thu 08-May-14 19:03:36

He lasted an hour, before crossly turning everything off at the wall. And DH took 2 hours to get home because part of the A19 was all but closed due to an accident. By the time DH got home, DS1 didn't want his tea.

He's now slowly and angrily putting his jammies on. While standing on one foot, picking his toes. And reading. All at once.

There's wine in the fridge.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Thu 08-May-14 19:20:36

ouryve at least points to him for multitasking grin

DS1 is still complaining of a headache and feeling tired this evening, so I've already informed him he's staying home tomorrow. He's irritated but I'd rather err on the side of caution. This off and on fever/headache, with sporadic tummy upset, sounds like he's fighting off a bug, so I'd rather give him the chance to rest anyway.

ouryve Thu 08-May-14 20:02:33

Hopefully, he'll be right as rain by next week (or better still, Saturday so you can all enjoy your weekend)

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Thu 08-May-14 21:02:09


zzzzz Thu 08-May-14 21:38:04

I've been on AIBU ..... Wankers.

Just HOW do you pick your toes, read a book and put on your PJs! shock [awe]

Why do we have bike???

hazeyjane Thu 08-May-14 21:41:42

me too, zzzzz.....&@**^~#

should go to bed but am transfixed by heston blumenthal eating a chilli so hot that his glasses steam up.

zzzzz Thu 08-May-14 21:45:40

Dh is making me watch My Cousin Vinny (for the billionth time) [sigh]
I am a teensy bit tipsy though so it's relatively painless.

bluebirdonmyshoulder Thu 08-May-14 21:55:34

Hi all,

Have only just got round to changing my sodding password after all the sodding hacking from the sodding heartbreak virus or whatever it was. Have been lurking but too technically useless to realise how easy the reset was.

Missed posting!

zzzzz Thu 08-May-14 22:04:13

Hi blue wine

hazeyjane Thu 08-May-14 22:08:20

Someone kick me up the arse and make me go to bed, dh is playing football on the PS and listening to Depeche Mode, I feel like I have travelled back in time.

Hello BlueBirdsmile

bluebirdonmyshoulder Thu 08-May-14 22:10:04

Hi hazey and zzzzz wine Cheers!

Now go to bed! <delivers swift arse kick!>

Galena Thu 08-May-14 22:26:23

bike for tour de france in yorkshire? start of july?

they will be about 5 mins from my parents' house, so my parents are going away and letting some friends who are excited about the tdf stay in the house. grin

my bloody face pain has been back every day since I told the doctor it had gone... (which is nearly 2 weeks ago blush ) I should go back, but too busy. it happens when I sit back on the sofa or lie down. the only way I can get rid of it is walking around for a few minutes. sad

got DD's 6 month post-op review on Monday - talk about short notice, they only phoned today...

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Thu 08-May-14 23:37:25

Depeche Mode grin Lordy, doesn't that date us all then.

ouryve Thu 08-May-14 23:56:46

Just HOW do you pick your toes, read a book and put on your PJs!

Very badly - and shivering because one of things isn't happening very fast at all.

NeverendingPotato Fri 09-May-14 07:07:18

Tiny thing set off ds2 into a meltdown this morning. He's now got his dummy and snuggly and watching Something Special while I'm crying at the kitchen table hoping ds1 doesn't see me.

Dh went away for work at 6am yesterday until this evening. Coping on my own for a mere two days is apparently too much for me. At least he's at the childminder this morning, though he looks a bit manky because for the first time ever he rubbed food in his hair and I've never bathed him. That's what dh does, and I've heard the meltdown from things happening in the wrong order for Bath and I wouldn't know where to start. So just used baby wipes. Feel useless.

PolterGoose Fri 09-May-14 07:24:30

Never (((hugs))) and brew you're not useless, can you ask the CM to have him a few extra hours today to give you a break?

NeverendingPotato Fri 09-May-14 07:35:53

Thank you. I feel cheeky asking that, but I know she would be fine, she's lovely and has a child with special needs herself so is very understanding. Stupid to have to pluck up courage to ask.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Fri 09-May-14 07:36:07

Neverending When STBXH was here, I used to have the order of things that DS1 insisted on written out on a laminated sheet (such as bedtime routine, bath routine, and so on) and put in whatever room it was used in. Maybe having your DH put together a list for you so you can get a handle on it? The only reason it didn't work well here is because STBXH couldn't be bothered to look at the list. hmm But from a realistic standpoint, had he bothered using the list, it would have helped.

ouryve Fri 09-May-14 09:31:29

((Never)) I understand completely. The boys can manage for a day or two without me, but ds2 won't go to bed without DH.

Well, I got a good soaking, taking the boys to school. Hopefully, my coat will dry off a bit (fully waterproof but 3 years old and losing it around the cuffs etc) as I'm off to Newcastle in a bit. This month's PPI topics centre around families with offspring with LDs & neurodisabilites so didn't want o miss it. Have written a bit of an essay on onevofbthe topics!

hazeyjane Fri 09-May-14 09:48:52

Oh Never, hope you are feeling a bit better now. It is very hard.brew now, wine later.

I hope you don't mind me having an almighty whinge.Ds is curled up in the corner atm screaming, signing daddy, covered in snot and drool, I can't go near him because he will kick and hit me or himself, all because I had to get his Amoxicillin into him. His feet are covered in blood soaked dressings, because I haven't been able to get them off, so I am building myself up to giving him a bath, which will turn into another battle. When dh comes home at teatime, it will be cuddles galore. I had to take him into the anaesthetic room, sort the blood tubes and give instructions and go through all ds's health issues and hold him down when he had his anaesthetic. I had to try and calm him down when he had blood pouring out of his nose and mouth in the recovery room and he was hysterical, trying to tear the bandage and cannula out of his foot. It is grim being the bad guy, and I feel bloody awful. I know I am being daft, but needed to get that off my chest.

zzzzz Fri 09-May-14 09:50:03

Mine has a dh routine and a zzzzz routine. We are lucky.

Dd didn't cry going into school and ds and I are making lunch grin. He says he is hungry NOW.

never do whatever makes it easier. Honestly it will be fine.

autumnsmum Fri 09-May-14 10:02:47

Hazey hugs that sounds really , really hard

PolterGoose Fri 09-May-14 10:13:42

Huge (((hugs))) hazey flowers

zzzzz Fri 09-May-14 10:26:19

hazey sad sorry cross posted with my last post. Poor you and poor ds. You are not the bad guy. You are the Mummy and the love is deeper and wider and more than cuddles. You are a fantastic mother and your dc are so lucky to have you. Flapping and honking with you today my friend.

Honk honk honk

Galena Fri 09-May-14 11:13:48

Oh hazey. wine

it's hard being the bad guy, but it will pass.

NeverendingPotato Fri 09-May-14 11:15:09

Alice That's a really good idea! It'll be useful for both of us to swap things we usually do because it's easy to forget the exact order of things. Not that we like to be too rigid, but that's a pick your battles thing!

And thank you to everyone else. It's so nice to speak to people that understand.

hazey thanks and brew That sounds so difficult. You're not being daft at all. It must have been so distressing for you too.

ouryve Fri 09-May-14 11:15:40


this bus is wrecking my back. Going to be a long day

homework Fri 09-May-14 11:46:40

Hazey pm you.

homework Fri 09-May-14 11:53:49

Never thought I see the day after all the stuff he's gone though in past , son discussing weather he like to go on year 11 history trip to Berlin next year.
His biggest worries seem to be losing his ear buds for plane , that was easy to solve and , who he have to share a room with .
That if trip does come about as there only just discussing it , will be thing I have to discuss with teachers organise it.
I can't believe he's even thinking about it . Really pleased , never though he even consider doing something like this . He did say he'd have liked me there . Really trying to encourage him with this. Be so good for his development if he decides to go. Although not heard a word about it from school so might not even come about.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Fri 09-May-14 12:03:56

hazey thanks

hazeyjane Fri 09-May-14 12:25:18

thankyou everyone, not only did I manage to get ds in the bath, he also signed for me to get in too, and we had bubbles (he hates bubbly water!) It was lovely and we sat and looked at books wrapped up in towels, his feet look really bruised, so no wonder he didn't want me to touch them.

Curled up on sofa with blanket, scooby doo and sharing a baguette (ds gets the squidgy middle and I get the crusts)

Having a really stressy time atm (nightmare family situation) so may be a little over sensitiveblush

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Fri 09-May-14 14:04:38

Glad you're both doing better now hazey. Sorry you're dealing with a stressy family thing - always a nightmare when family stuff gets complicated, I've found. I've begun doing the "i'm Switzerland" response to my family members when they try to drag me into squabbles. It's the only thing that saves my sanity. (although I appreciate the fact that your situation may be something you cannot just remain neutral or "out" of, so to speak, depending on what it is) Hang in there. This too shall pass. smile And if not, there's always wine.

zzzzz Fri 09-May-14 14:44:06

[depressed] just been told the dx pathway for ASD in Devon is now 2years. That basically means no one gets any support before school doesn't it? angry angry angry

No. It means that they stall for as long as possible.

Some parents. Forceful ones. Will get through, as will those who pay.

hazeyjane Fri 09-May-14 15:11:34

Oh zzzzz, cake. It is depressing that it has to be a fight, and depressing that a lot of parent's won't have the fight in them.

Alice, family stress is unavoidable unfortunately, but yes, it will pass and there will definitely be wine.

Lovely, lovely friend just turned up with pirate book and light up balloons for ds and chocolate for me. So happy for her, as she has just got her ds's proposed statement through. Hard to believe though that the request for ds's statutory assessment was made 6 weeks before her ds's, and ours has had yet another bloody delay. Hopefully we will hear next week and we can crack open the champagne.

ouryve Fri 09-May-14 19:20:21

That's shocking, zzzzz. So much for early intervention.

zzzzz Fri 09-May-14 19:30:07

Planned failure as far as I'm concerned. We shall see how they do for ds1. All assessments have already been carried out, so this is an admin exercise. confused.

zzzzz Fri 09-May-14 19:30:28

Yay for pirates and balloons.

signandsingcarols Fri 09-May-14 20:02:46

hazey glad things bit better with ds, I remember how it felt to be 'the bad guy' sad even lately ds has been saying 'more daddy less mummy' sad I know its because daddy does train and mummy does boring old car... but it still hurt, mind you last week after giving him an extra deep extra warm bubbly bath he suddenly said 'mummy, you always do nice things for me' which I will treasure for ever grin

ouryve Fri 09-May-14 20:59:35

Anyone opening a new G&C, btw? I'm exhausted.

Ended up not getting home until about 15 minutes after I've normally got dinner ready - my bus home from Durham was sodding late and my bus from Newcastle to Durham was a little early. I was stood for 1/2 an hour in a smelly bus station. At least there was light "entertainment" as something was kicking off at one end of the station and the police were there.

After DS1's reaction to DH not getting home until after 6, yesterday, I was expecting complaints. Nope. He was fine with it, even though he hadn't been fed. Dad's more important, apparently. I can get home as late as I like and it doesn't matter if I'm not there to cook because dad can make egg sandwiches. Got to love the boy's logic.

And it amused me what a small world it turns out to be when the research I was PPIing is in the area of neurodisabilities and so on. Turned out I'd "met" people involved with both projects somewhere on t'Internet.

Please do Ouryve!

ouryve Fri 09-May-14 21:42:28

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