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goose and carrot 24th Jan...

(379 Posts)
signandsingcarols Fri 24-Jan-14 15:01:37

Hi everyone, how has the week gone?

Chez sign is currently packing in preparation for the new kitchen, and new walls/door way for the 'odd-little-room-next-to-the-kitchen' work starts in 2 weeks and the odd room is full of dh's books and models, (plan is after moving the door and adding a new wall laterin the year, (once we have saved again) the little room will become downstairs loo and 'rest' room for dh, with a day bed, so he can stay down stairs onece he has managed to get down in the morning,) huge upheaval but been planning and waiting so long am really excited. grin

hoping ds will manage all the stress, hmm

autumnsmum Fri 24-Jan-14 15:44:37

Sign and sing that's great news hope it all goes well .when I get iPad off dd2 I will pm you about the bsl

moosemama Fri 24-Jan-14 16:06:07

Afternoon.

Sign, building work sounds stressful, but like it will be worth it in the end. Hope it all goes smoothly and ds copes with the upheaval.

We're supposed to be having our kitchen sorted in the not too distant future and have to admit, much as I'm desperate for it to be done, I'm dreading the chaos it will bring.

It's been a very long week this week. Ds1 went back to school on Wednesday and has been off the scale with anxiety and meltdowns ever since, thanks the school re-assigning his TA away and reducing his in-class support while he was off, as well as making all sorts of other changes to his routine and support.

They've also, in their wisdom, moved 'transport boy' (relating to the problems ds was having earlier in the year) into ds's teaching group, because apparently he told them ds was his friend. They know he isn't, they know we have spoken to them on several occasions, as well as emaling them about how much trouble this boy has caused for ds and how he doesn't want to have anything to do with him, but they chose to ignore all that and move him into every single lesson ds has. He was coping with the situation by putting up with him on transport and then avoiding him for the rest of the day, but, now he's stuck with him, all day every day for registration/tutor group through every lesson and both transport runs. angry The boy concerned was suspended last week and this is only the latest in a long line of issues, including punching other pupils, looking at porn and 18+ films on the school computers and a list of other things. Ds can't cope with rule-breaking and really can't cope with being around constant, extreme foul language and/or punching etc, so his anxiety levels are through the roof from not being able to get away. I get the feeling his parents have told the school he is acting out because he has no friends in his tutor group, but he has none in ds's group either, because he is violent, insulting and uses foul language to the other kids all the time.

Difficult situation, as there are obviously SN/SEN involved as he is on ds's transport run. Either the school are failing to support him properly - which is entirely possible as they just don't seem to be able to get it right for ds and he's easy to support - or - it's just not the right school for him. We were told the school didn't take pupils with any behavioural problems, even if they are due to SEN. They told us that they take pupils with dyslexia, dyspraxia, HFA and Aspergers, but only those that have no record of serious behaviour problems, especially violence. I feel for him as well as ds, as he's clearly unhappy at the school.

So, lots of emails flying back and forth between me and the inclusion manager and I get the feeling we are gearing up for big fight. If I have to point out one more time that if you pop your head around the door and ask if ds is ok he will say "I'm fine" even when he clearly isn't, I will scream. Similarly, if I have to explain that, yes, masking is common with people who have ASD, but if they were supporting ds properly he wouldn't need to mask as he would feel safe and secure - my head may just explode. angry

Moving on, ds2's last spot finally dried up last night. He got his first spot Friday before last, so it's been a long haul for him. The last one was on his finger and just would not die. hmm

No sooner did ds1 go back, then I came down with a d&v virus and have only really started feeling myself again today.

I'm desperate for a quiet weekend at home, although dd does have a birthday party to go to on Sunday - think I may have to persuade dh to take her to that, although I don't like my chances, as he did the last one. hmm

moosemama Fri 24-Jan-14 16:06:40

Oops, mega-post. Sorry for the rant. I guess that's what happens when I bottle things up all week. blush

SallyBear Fri 24-Jan-14 16:26:38

Moose what a nightmare for you! winewinewine Because its medicinal you understand.

Sign - ooooooh! New kitchen! What have you chosen?

moosemama Fri 24-Jan-14 16:30:14

Thank you Sally. Feeling very blush after my rant. It wasn't helped by ds1 frantically texting every two minutes from his taxi, so I know we're in for hell again in about half an hour's time. hmm <<takes a swig from the bottle>>

AtYourCervix Fri 24-Jan-14 16:48:13

A week fromthe deepest pits of hell.

The fridge freezer died.

Ordered a new one despite knowing I have 32p in my account.

Thought it would be del8vered today.

Cancelled a much needed coffee and chat while I waited on for it.
Turns out it is due for delivery on the 31st.

In the meantime I've been working nights again. My body is rebelling and not coping. Massively busy at work. Various piles of shite happening here and there.

Oh, and DD got excluded from school. 3 days for telling a TA to fuck off.

[gin]

AtYourCervix Fri 24-Jan-14 16:49:01

Oh yes. And the car was written off at the MOT.

LilTreacle Fri 24-Jan-14 17:05:44

similarly off week for us too.
DS off sick at start of week as was moderately poorly with a cold but mega emotional and demand avoidant as a result.
went back Wed, gotten progressively worse as the week wore on. Refused to do anything at all today...

Got the school info they are submitting for annual review...basically says they feel they cannot meet needs... now we really do need to look for alternatives.

Oh well, hello weekend, we've been missing you.

AtYourCervix Fri 24-Jan-14 17:08:29

On a positive note, DD just had her intro session for her new little job and think it went well. !!!!!! First proper afternoon tomorrow.

moosemama Fri 24-Jan-14 17:15:45

wine AYC - I blame the new moon.

Good news about the job though. Good luck to her for tomorrow.

LilTreacle wine for you too.

StarlightMcKingsThree Fri 24-Jan-14 17:23:21

Hi all,

I've been very needy this week, sorry. First of all taking ds out of school, then not, drama and now stressful transport situation. Grrrr!

Hooray for new kitchens.

moosemama Fri 24-Jan-14 17:25:15

Evening Star.

Sorry to hear you've had a bad week as well. Hope the transport situation gets sorted quickly.

PolterGoose Fri 24-Jan-14 17:27:59

wine all round

School issues here too sad

StarlightMcKingsThree Fri 24-Jan-14 17:29:38

Just getting through your post Moose grin

ouryve Fri 24-Jan-14 17:32:11

Brrrrr! Took 90 minutes to get home, tonight. And that is with ds1's teacher giving us a lift for the last half of the journey. He's not had a good day at all. I owe flowers to another member of staff who stayed with us for almost an hour and took charge of the buggy.

Warming my bum on the oven. Will actually read other posts when I've got some hot food in me.

StarlightMcKingsThree Fri 24-Jan-14 17:36:18

Read it now Moose and grrrr is the only response I can muster. I'm outta solutions for the moment. Exhausted does not come near to explaining my brain.

bochead Fri 24-Jan-14 17:44:38

Lovely week here apart from a 3 hour train journey taking 6 hours due to engineering works. The less said about that the better, except I am so lucky the dog is so good at keeping DS calm.

Have signed up for the OU course I've had my eye on for years as now DS is not at school I finally have the time in my day to do something for myself. Say it all about school stress really doesn't it.

New LA EP due to assess DS next week. I have written my proposal that he continues in education otherwise. He's finally getting a childhood for the first time since nursery, and I'm really enjoying being his Mum for a portion of each day, and not just his therapist iyswim. This I think is reason enough to fight to be allowed to continue doing what we are doing right now. His academic progress (finally happening!) while very important is secondary to this for me now, even though my initial reason for taking him out of school was abysmal academic achievement.

The weather has finally improved enough to resume the househunt, so that's underway again now too. Once settled in our final abode, I'm growing roots and NEVER moving again as I loathe and despise the whole darn process.

moosemama Fri 24-Jan-14 17:44:41

blush I know, I know mega mouth poster strikes again! blush

I think your brain and mine are in a similar state then Starlight. I tried to talk to dh about it last night, but seemed to have run out of words - which as you know, is totally out of character for me!

Ouryve wine - mulled if necessary (for warmth).

Ds1 is home and has been shoved straight onto Minecraft in an attempt to minimise the explosion.

signandsingcarols Fri 24-Jan-14 18:02:25

oh moose, what a mess! angry
star you have had so much to juggle this week!
ouryve, sounds like the joiurney from hell, sad
AYC, grrr about the fridge... angry suitable end to a crappy week...

sally kitchen is nothing extravagent, but never had a new kitchen, or even one that I had any input into, so this is lovely, pull out larder, high level oven, so dh is safe, floor and serfaces I can finally keep clean.. t dryer that will vent thru wall not out the door.... even the thought of it is making me smile, (have saved for 2 years to get it).

AtYourCervix Fri 24-Jan-14 18:09:10

I know sign

I feel like a fuzzy useless mess. I have take to my bed aso really don't think i can take much more. H has gone out for wine.

ouryve Fri 24-Jan-14 18:24:20

Got a full tummy, now. My arse is still cold.

That sounds like it's really going to be worth it, sign, even though it's going to be a lot of work and, dare I say a lot of mess, to start with.

We desperately need a new kitchen - the one we have is actually rotten. We have the money put by. It is the upheaval that's putting us off.

Moose, I'm not surprised you're furious with school. They just Don't Get It, despite their apparent reputation, do they?

AYC, you've had a shit-tacular week sad Well done to your DD for getting and starting her job, though.

Treacle I hope your weekend gives you the headspace you need and things calm down a bit.

bochead - glad someone's had a positive week!

Thinking we need a huge vat of wine The ranting is still happening. Radio stations. The weather. The wooden "wall" between the kitchen and dining room....

On a more positive note, DS2 joined in with the dancing for golden time. Apparently, he spent a lot of the time sat at the side of the hall lapping it all up and laughing, but he was getting stuck right in, at one point. grin

moosemama Fri 24-Jan-14 18:43:24

Glad you've managed to get some food into you ouryve, you need one of those heat pads to sit on.

Problem with the school is that almost all the old SEN team have left. The old SENCO, who was so good she has almost godlike status, had a hell of a year and ended up having to leave at the end of last year and the acting SENCO went off on long-term sick while ds was off with chickenpox - she was the only person left that really understood ASD, other than the old Head who is still there, but as a board member and governor, rather than being involved at ground level, iyswim.

The new 'Inclusion Manager' isn't old enough to have had enough relevant experience, especially when you look at what his last job was, although he is at great pains to insist to everyone he does methinks he doth protest too much. He is very much a politician-style spin-doctor who I very much suspect has been brought in to cut costs. Judging by his actions so far.

SallyBear Fri 24-Jan-14 18:54:28

Sign I have a pull out larder. Love it. It will be gorgeous!! Colours!!!!

ouryve Fri 24-Jan-14 18:58:06

It's not the school that was sold to you, in so many ways.

DS1 has calmed down, now, at least. DH has bought a gigantic box set of Looney Tunes and he's just been introduced to Wile E Coyote. Right up his street grin (And about as violent as it gets in this house. Some of the threads I've read this past week about what kids get to watch or play have made my hair stand on end). He's also enjoying deciphering the roman numerals at the end of each cartoon.

SallyBear Fri 24-Jan-14 18:58:08

Well. DD came home and told me that the HT of their secondary school has asked her to do a presentation about Jeans for Genes Day and Treacher Collins Syndrome, and how it affects her and indirectly her twin. Done by 5th Feb. shit.

So I'm now racking my brains to think how you can explain genetic conditions and DNA simply and then jazz it up with a real life example of a genetic condition. Need some cuntilitres of gin.....

Firsttimer7259 Fri 24-Jan-14 19:03:02

We have ginormous week brewing - asd assessment verdict on Tuesday, camhs on Wed, ed psych on Thursday. I'm struggling to adjust to new job (3 weeks in now) excuse me while I curl up into fetal position in the corner

ouryve Fri 24-Jan-14 19:08:28

wine for you, too, firsttimer. A whole bottle with a straw.

AtYourCervix Fri 24-Jan-14 19:49:39

Take your pick!

hazeyjane Fri 24-Jan-14 20:02:04
lougle Fri 24-Jan-14 20:06:40

Hello smile I've been in bed all day.Wiped with a virus.

dd2 is plodding on, seeing OT without my knowledge, etc., as they do.

Sorry it's been a hard week...must be going around.

lougle Fri 24-Jan-14 20:07:19

I mean a hard week for those if you that have had hard weeks :S

Ineedmorepatience Fri 24-Jan-14 20:14:37

I dont usually come over here but am keeping my head down at the moment in case of LA spies!!

We had Dd3's first ever IEP review yesterday!! She has been on the SN reg since yr 3 !

The senco decided to invite the useless teacher who Dd3 is frightened of and who is clueless and then asked me why I was upset! Aaaaarrrrggggghhhhh

I requested that we set some targets for the staff because if they did their jobs properly Dd3 would be fine!! It went down surprisingly well actually. Especially as the nasty teacher decided to make a rapid exit at this point.

Oh and the tribunal date came and its not too long to wait.

Sorry to everyone else who is having a hard time.

StarlightMcKingsThree Fri 24-Jan-14 20:16:48

Sounds productive Ineed Hope you feel better soon Lougle Do you usually write poems in bed?

ConstantCraving Fri 24-Jan-14 20:33:05

I've crept in for wine. I don't usually post but I cried at work today and feel such a pathetic idiot. I have never, ever done that before. DD is going through diagnosis and I have clearly not come to terms with it at all. And now work will think I'm a loon too sad. Its been a rubbish week.

lougle Fri 24-Jan-14 20:43:02

Never, Star. It's most unlike me. Perhaps I'm delirious.

Constant, sorry it's all tough.

moosemama Fri 24-Jan-14 20:47:04

Passes wine to Constant. You're not a pathetic idiot, we've all been there and know how you feel. No-one is going to think you're a loon, just a worried Mum. flowers

Ineed, sounds like you are making some progress.

Wrt, everyone's bad week. According to my Mum, who knows about this sort of thing, it is down to the first full moon of the year. Apparently it's called 'The Watery Moon' and makes people prone to emotional upset and tears. It's supposed to throw up experiences which produce feelings/emotions based on old/previous experiences that we need to work through and move on from. I don't usual go in for all this stuff, but that actually seems like a fairly accurate description of where I'm at right now.

Personally I intend to work through mine with the aid of chocolate and wine wink

autumnsmum Fri 24-Jan-14 20:51:28

Not to bad here mil and dp have declared dd2 s speech therapy report is rubbish ! Dp hasn't even read it ! I intend to learn key word signing as they suggest regardless . As I put in the other thread dd1 is fifteen tomorrow and I feel totally ancient ! She is a wonderful girl who has had to deal with a lot . Sorry to hear about some of the truly awful weeks people have been having

AtYourCervix Fri 24-Jan-14 20:52:01

Constant - i cried at work this week too. It was deeply embarrassing but thankfully I have the most wonderful bunch of colleagues. They really are brilliant.

wine

StarlightMcKingsThree Fri 24-Jan-14 20:52:13

Well why on earth didn't you WARN us moose?

grin

ConstantCraving Fri 24-Jan-14 20:52:57

Thanks Moose and lougle - I probably need to be handed a grip too. I'm happy to blame the moon. I used to be a midwife and the moon always caused havoc when it was full.

StarlightMcKingsThree Fri 24-Jan-14 20:53:14

Oh, the good news is that baby ds still can't say a word, but he can sign 'picnic basket' thanks to Mr Tumble.....

PolterGoose Fri 24-Jan-14 20:53:59

Constant (((hugs))) and wine I got into work early on Monday and ranted about all ds's crap at a very lovely colleague who had merely asked how my week was blush mostly I keep shtum and put on my professional facade, I try very hard to keep it all separate.

Galena Fri 24-Jan-14 20:54:04

Get him watching Yogi Bear, Star!

AtYourCervix Fri 24-Jan-14 20:54:56

Moose. That makes sense.

When the moon is doing wierd stuff it's always a nightmare at work. Full moon was the 16th i think.

PolterGoose Fri 24-Jan-14 20:55:07

grin at picnic basket, I'm sure it will be very useful in the summer

AtYourCervix Fri 24-Jan-14 20:56:32

15th. So a week of tears and emotional crappiness.

Next week will be better.

hazeyjane Fri 24-Jan-14 20:56:40

wine chocolate and more wine to all who need it.

Sounds like people have had some awful weeks.

My fil is here, so more rum needed tonight!

Dd2 got her new glasses tonight, and I bought her a new book as 'well done' with all the eye tests, assessments etc. she is such a poseur!

Autumn, I am trying to learn some BSL, to boost the amount of signing we do, ds picks it up very quickly, and I feel like I need to make more of an effort.

ConstantCraving Fri 24-Jan-14 21:00:08

Polter - I keep everything separate - or try too - but it just got all mixed up today. Was talking to a senior manager and he apologised for something he'd done and I just started bawling. Poor man didn't know what to do and kept apologising for upsetting me. He hadn't done anything except be nice blush.

moosemama Fri 24-Jan-14 21:00:34

Well Star, typically my mum didn't give me the heads up until too late. hmm grin

grin at Yogi Bear!

Ouryve I have been watching Wiley Coyote with ds2 this afternoon. My lot love the old Looney Tunes cartoons and the vintage Tom and Jerry. Hong Kong Phooey, Top Cat, Mr Benn, Paddington and the lovely Trumpton and Camberwick Green (and whatever the other village is called) are also big hits. smile

StarlightMcKingsThree Fri 24-Jan-14 21:05:15

It's amazing what you have learnt though as a parent of a child with SEN.

I took ds to a Borough run toddler group this morning. Very well resourced but wtf with the person who ran it.

First of all she asked me if I wanted to go on a potty-training course for ds (20months), Then she banged on about all the problems she had breastfeeding and so stopped at 4 months.

Then we did some speed-singing of various nursery rhymes that would be unrecognisable if you didn't already know them followed by a goodbye song that I never knew, and never will sadly as not entirely certain of the tune.

I was sitting next to her trying to slow the pace, because no NT child could manage to keep up, let alone anyone else. AND her signing was dodgy.

Probably gets paid practically nothing an hour though and she was quite sweet. If I go again I might offer to run the singing bit whilst she tidies or something, as long as she doesn't appear offended. Goodness knows how the goodbye song goes though. Thankfully it is short.

StarlightMcKingsThree Fri 24-Jan-14 21:06:19

Though the last place I lived was well-posh and the nursery rhymes singing was run by the mums who harmonised.

StarlightMcKingsThree Fri 24-Jan-14 21:08:52

Ever wanna hear Incy Wincy Spider in 3 part harmony?

Go to St Albans church toddler group......

autumnsmum Fri 24-Jan-14 21:20:59

Oh god dd2 ruined a singing time when we were waiting for a speech therapy drop in .she decided singing was tedious and running round in circles was much ore fun . On a serious note I'm a whinge moo I know but I'm fed up of being the only person who deals with
My two younger Dcs issues I go to the appointments , do read the reports am planning to learn bsl if I can and dp plays xbox all day sorry whinge over

lougle Fri 24-Jan-14 21:21:41

dd1 proudly announced that she was 'being on t.v.' yesterday.

It turns out that one of her LSAs was leaving, so they videotaped the class singing her 'favourite song'

'What is it, DD1?'

Cue DD1 launching into:

Chicken rice and peas
chicken rice and peas
I love, you love chicken rice and peas!
Hands up, who wants Chicken rice and peas?

Mmmmm blackcurrant juice....

blackcurrant juice
blackcurrant juice
I love, you love blackcurrant juice
Hands up who wants blackcurrant juice?

mmm..chocolate cake...

chocolate cake
chocolate cake
I love you love chocolate cake
Hands up who wants chocolate cake?

I bet she loved it grin

StarlightMcKingsThree Fri 24-Jan-14 21:26:39

Oh NO! DS sings that ALL the time.......... well when he isn't singing 'All I want for Christmas'

autumn Sorry. Can DP 'earn' minutes of xbox play?

ouryve Fri 24-Jan-14 21:29:39

I'll have the big one when I've finished my rioja, AYC. ta grin

ouryve Fri 24-Jan-14 21:32:28

ConstantCraving winewinewinecake[chocolate][gin chaser]

ouryve Fri 24-Jan-14 21:45:12

ineed - I like your style!

Hazey Gorgeous glasses. Very Glam grin

moose - when DS1 was a toddler, he'd fall asleep watching all the really old stuff on nick Jr. It was the only thing that kept him still. He seemed to fin The Herbs as surreal as i remember it and he loved Button Moon. I think the other village was Chigley?

Your DD sounds adorable, lougle grin

moosemama Fri 24-Jan-14 21:53:23

Chigley! Yep that's it. Thank you ouryve, it was really bugging me. blush

I used to be really freaked out by The Herbs. We only have one episode on a children's compilation and iirc, ds1 was also freaked out about it. Button Moon on the other hand was lovely. smile

autumnsmum Fri 24-Jan-14 21:56:53

Aah button moon was always on when I came home from school for lunch. Moose sorry to hear things are so bad at school for your ds

StarlightMcKingsThree Fri 24-Jan-14 22:00:55

Mr Spoon

moosemama Fri 24-Jan-14 22:28:22

Thanks Autumn.

"We've been to Button Moon, we followed Mr Spoon to Button Moon, Button Mooooon ...."

ouryve Sat 25-Jan-14 00:06:30

Trippy grin

ouryve Sat 25-Jan-14 00:07:26

I've had several cuntilitres of wine grin

Will be watching The Bridge over a celestial seasonings sleepytime tea tomorrow night. Honest blush

hazeyjane Sat 25-Jan-14 09:02:01

Morning.

Had the lovely vision of walking into dd's room this morning to see dd2 sitting up in bed with her new glasses on reading her new book - which she said was great because a) there are big spaces between the lines and b) it has a rhino who wees lots in it.

Dh has gone to pick up a new rug that we bought on ebay, fil has gone, so we are lazing around in pjs eating toast and watching scooby doo. Bliss.

Pre Christmas there was talk of a sw meet up - is there any chance of anything coming up?

autumnsmum Sat 25-Jan-14 09:31:08

Morning all sorry for drunken ranting last night! Your my best mates etc! Hazey your morning sounds blissful . Ouryve that celestial tea needs a Rioja chaser

SallyBear Sat 25-Jan-14 10:18:48

Hazey- Are the lenses coloured??

Ineedmorepatience Sat 25-Jan-14 10:24:24

star I have somehow ended up running a toddler group this year because I havent got enough to do

I have to say I would be delighted if someone offered to do the singing ocassionally. I have already delegated the tea making. I dont mind singing and have a lovely little bag with props in to make it more fun, but why do some of the mums insist of talking over the singing, it drives me bonkers angry

I dont think I was designed to work with children and their parents at the same time wink

Thanks for the support everyone, I am waiting with anticipation to see what targets actually made it on to Dd3's IEP and to see if any improvments are forthcoming after my comments about the teaching staff!

lougle Sat 25-Jan-14 12:20:48

Morning. Still lousy.

I've just had the pleasure of dd2's homework. How long would you imagine this task to take?:

Write a sentence containing this word:

a) were

b) who

c) wear

d) any

It took 20 minutes for DD2 to write the first sentence (We were going to the shops because we needed to buy food.) It then took 12 minutes for her to write the second sentence (Who were they? They look funny.)

I've abandoned c & d until tomorrow.

I managed to video it all though.

PolterGoose Sat 25-Jan-14 12:36:09

Lots of empathy lougle

Ds has a diarrheoa lurgy, he got through a lot of pants and trousers before working out that the tummy pains were a warning he needed to sit on the toilet, he's being surprisingly pragmatic and has eaten both an apple and a banana 'for the greater good'.

lougle Sat 25-Jan-14 12:41:56

What a hero! May the diarrhoea leave him soon!

ouryve Sat 25-Jan-14 12:48:40

Hazey yay for FIL leaving you in peace!
autumn that celestial tea will be washing down more half price amaretto choccies. Spotted them while I was choosing some chocs for the TA who looked after DS2, yesterday evening, while I dealt with DS1.
lougle & polter I have a spare box of choccies - sounds like you both need them.

DS1 in no better state of mind, this morning. He kept running off while we were out shopping. He said he didn't like waiting and then he panicked when he saw that all the checkouts had queues in M&S. Too many people AND too much waiting all rolled into one. Thankfully, he just disappeared around the corner and chose a birthday card for his cousin. He's pestering to go to Dalton Park and we've said a very clear no. Apart from the fact that it's always pigging freezing there, we don't trust him not to wander off and get lost - and it's a very easy place to get lost in.

DS2's pushing his luck at the moment, too.hmm

PolterGoose Sat 25-Jan-14 13:01:19

Thanks ouryve though, ds is actually super when he's ill, compliant and easy so it's quite a nice break grin good luck with the rest of your day.

moosemama Sat 25-Jan-14 13:18:10

Lougle, that sounds incredibly similar to homework sessions with ds. Hope you feel better soon. flowers

Polter, poor ds. I've been where he is this week - well apart from the not knowing when to sit on the toilet bit anyway. Mine only lasted 24 hours. I hope his is gone just as swiftly.

Ouryve, sorry to hear you've had a trying morning.

Ds1 has wound himself up, again, about which netbook vs tablet he will gracefully accept from us for taking to school. This has taken months, he had made up his mind and was happy - dh didn't order it and now the one he wants isn't available anywhere. 3 major tantrums later and we are no further forward, so a trip to PC world to actually physically see and touch the two frontrunners has been planned. Fingers crossed we may have blooming well ordered something by the end of the day. hmm

I had a nasty neuro episode at 7.00 am this morning, so have been in bed all morning and will be spending the rest of the day on the sofa. I knew it was coming after all the stress I've had over the past couple of weeks, but was hoping I was wrong.

PolterGoose Sat 25-Jan-14 13:29:04

moose flowers

Ineedmorepatience Sat 25-Jan-14 13:34:50

Oh no!! Some very difficult mornings for people, hope your day gets better everyone flowers cake and brew for you all smile

autumnsmum Sat 25-Jan-14 13:37:33

Moose ,ouryve ,polter and lougle it sounds like you're having truly horrible weekends

PolterGoose Sat 25-Jan-14 13:39:34

Oh no, it's not awful here at all, pooey pants are a small price to pay for a delightful child, he really does lose his angry/anxious edge when he's ill.

KeepOnKeepingOn1 Sat 25-Jan-14 14:13:03

Contender for bad parent of the week here. Memories kindled by discussion last night led to me showing DS2 a video of Half Man Half Biscuit on YouTube with a Camberwick Green theme.

Starts off OK

Life flies by when you're the driver of a train
Under bridges
Over bridges
To your destinaTION

Then

Careful with that spliff Eugene
It causes condensaTION.

DS2 loved it - he is now repeating the lyrics over and over again. Damn echocalia! I hope he's stopped by Monday. grin

Btw cuntiletre has quickly become a new unit of measurement between me and DH. See, he is specialsmile. Perhaps you can give this as an example if ever it is thought you don't appreciate him sufficiently. grin

PolterGoose Sat 25-Jan-14 14:19:44

grin at Keep's ds and the adoption of the Cuntilitre

I used to love Half Man Half Biscuit

If anyone who's a regular here really wants to see the origin of the Cuntilitre, I have a 20m video clip that I'm happy to send links to.

signandsingcarols Sat 25-Jan-14 14:50:47

have to say we too have chortled over the new unit of volume, grin blush have no sound on this net book, so can't view the link yet, (but I will Poulter)

yay half man half biscuit! (btw, anyone else love(d) billy bragg?)
sally.. kitchen is cream matt, with dark matt speckly worktop, to hide stains etc,

hazey I know you aren't that far from me, autumn are you in South West? maybe we could all have a signing morning...? Happy to host, (I'm somewhere between CACDP level 2 and 3 for BSL, and have written & taught 'intro to BSL' course)

Altho the OU year starts this week, (for the course I teach), I am still rejoicing in the cut in hours for the other job.. so a SW meet up (delayed from last year) sounds good, altho no chilli or curry until the kitchen is done...

the other Uni I work for has a 'reading' week after the half term, (w/c24th Feb) does that sounds a good week for anyone in this part of the country? if it is half term still for you all dc's welcome. kitchen should be done by then, so veggie chilli or curry provided with salad and crusty bread, same venue available as last time... ( we could also de-camp to the hop skip and jump which is 5 mins from the church) or the country park (10 mins from church) if we don't have any runners...

any takers....?

autumnsmum Sat 25-Jan-14 15:43:06

I would love to but unfortunately I'm in crumby East London .

ouryve Sat 25-Jan-14 15:45:05

Keep that one will raise a few eyebrows, next week, if it hasn't faded from memory grin

Polter I'd love to see that video clip. When DS1's in bed, mind grin

DS1's developed an annoyingly runny nose. Something new to make him miserable. On top of our constant reminders not to wipe his nose on the furniture hmm

DS2's found one of his favourite 'ats. He has a beige one the same that he used to wear while watching Mr Bloom. Not the best photo - his nook is illuminating his face, somewhat!

PolterGoose Sat 25-Jan-14 15:55:12

He is very cool ouryve grin

ouryve Sat 25-Jan-14 16:07:34

He does look quite the dude in his red skinny jeans and 'at. That's his favourite slouching position, too grin

autumnsmum Sat 25-Jan-14 16:19:12

Polter I would love to see the clip . Ouryve your son is extremely stylish .anyone else with primary children get impossible homework ? Last week I had to build a model of a type of Edwardian transprt

PolterGoose Sat 25-Jan-14 16:29:30

Edwardian transport? shock I hate those homework tasks, they just end up being a competition among the parents.

PMed you both.

PolterGoose Sat 25-Jan-14 16:30:42

ouryve he looks like a rock star grin

ouryve Sat 25-Jan-14 16:37:32

Edwardian transport? So glad we're excused from the homework thing, though we never got anything as ridiculous as that one.

We've always been tempted to get a t-shirt made for DS2 saying "I'm not a girl, I'm a metalhead." grin

moosemama Sat 25-Jan-14 16:38:50

You have a very cool dude there ouryve. grin

Ds2 is the stylish fella in our house. He favours a two-tone look, complete with black skinny trews and a rather fetching black trilby, on which he has amassed a vast collection of enamel badges. He's his father's son that boy - dh has an amazing collection of hats and badges too.

Ds1 just wants to wear soft waistbands and super-soft fleece hoodies, but no socks - or even better pj's 24/7. hmm

moosemama Sat 25-Jan-14 16:44:05

Autumn, ds1 had a 'project' involving making a model of an Elizabethan galleon once. hmm Fortunately there was a choice of several different things they could do and ds chose the information map. Then, they got to show their work off to the year below and he got upset because no-one was interested in his. All they wanted to look at was the (lego, lollipop, papier mache and air-fix galleons which were clearly made by parents, not pupils. hmm

The one thing his current school has got right is not giving too much - or ridiculously unnecessary project homework. Apparently the academy he was initially going to go to set a massive project for the new y7 intake to complete over the summer before they'd even started at the school. I heard lots of tales of panicked parents up all night for several days in a row the week before term began! shock I'm told they've continued as they started as well and projects appear regularly on their homework timetables, especially over holidays. hmm

autumnsmum Sat 25-Jan-14 16:46:17

Oh the homework was impossible I can knit and crochet but drawing and modelling I'm embarrassingly bad at , put it this way I was never in best work assembly .ds is a transport fan so we had to make a specific great western locomotive . Am feeling v relieved dd2 s special school doesn't seem to do homework

autumnsmum Sat 25-Jan-14 17:13:44

Polter I will look at clip once Dcs are in bed .wine o clock here dp has slept all afternoon again !

NoHaudinMaWheest Sat 25-Jan-14 17:45:40

Hi all. Burns' Night tonight - I'm a bit disappointed we don't have a haggis emoticon thingie.

Anyway I am about to cook ours. Ds loves it; dd loathes it - won't even sit at the table with us because of the smell. She also doesn't appreciate my rendition of 'To a Haggis'.

Commiserations to all those with poorly children and selves and stressy schools.

Blood tests and ECG came back clear but GP has still referred me to hospital; the urgent chest pain clinic so I should be seen in the next 2 weeks. Meanwhile if my gynae surgery date comes through I will have to cancel it as I can't have a GA while there are queries over my heart. It's probably just as well as I am still trying to sort out support at home while I recover from the op.

PolterGoose Sat 25-Jan-14 18:02:03

NoHaudin Happy Burns' Night (though I have no idea what it is blush confused) and HONKs for your health flowers

autumnsmum Sat 25-Jan-14 18:08:42

No Haudin happy burns night ! I suppose with the health issues you won't be on the whisky

ouryve Sat 25-Jan-14 18:35:01

DS1 likes skinny jeans, as well, but his look tends to be more mad scientist, with hair all over the place. His clothes meet in the middle if one of us has managed to catch him and straighten him out! If we're really lucky, his top will be the right way round. He's never without socks, though - although he often wears them upside down, on purpose.

Even though he still needs a lot of help with getting dressed, DS2 is a lot more particular how he wears his clothes (right down to insisting on wearing school sweatshirts back to front because he didn't like the logo being on one side. He has some plain school jumpers, now!)

We've had apple, plum & raspberry pie with cream for pudding. DS2 insisted on eating the pastry with his hands, so it's ruined the look slightly grin

Happy Burns night NoHaudin. Can't say I've ever dared try haggis, though I'm rather partial to bashed neeps.

signandsingcarols Sat 25-Jan-14 18:46:49

happy burns night nahaudin! am a happy eater of offal, but have never got the hang of haggis... so glad ECG results came back as not heart, hope clinc comes up with something useful..

autumn, we have family in west london, so when we are up staying with them maybe could meet up for a 'sign fest...' PS have you discovered Forest Book Shop, a great resource for all things sign-ish. grin

NoHaudinMaWheest Sat 25-Jan-14 18:51:41

On Burns' Night you eat haggis and chappit tatties and neeps (mashed potatoes and swede) and remember the life and loves of Robert Burns, Scotland's national poet.
Haggis is great if you don't think about the ingredients.

Ouryve your dss obviously have more style than my ds who wears old men's trousers because he has to have an elasticated waist and completely plain t-shirts.

autumnsmum Sat 25-Jan-14 18:52:02

Sign and sing I would love that

autumnsmum Sat 25-Jan-14 18:55:40

Oh dd2 had not reacted well to dd1s birthday .dd1 walked in after going out with her friends and dd2 slapped her with a lallaloopsy doll ! Needless to say she was removed from the situation

hazeyjane Sat 25-Jan-14 19:15:49

Ouch, lalaloopsy is a hard little fucker of a doll ( have experience of being whacked in the face accidentally by Mint-e-Stripes).

I am up in London quite a bit, could I maybe crash your sign meet up? I would bring cake!

Sallybear, dd2's glasses are not tinted as the optometrist wanted to give the lenses (which are a prism prescription for a convergence issue) a chance without 'muddying the waters' with overlays etc. School is very keen to try the overlays however, because of the struggles dd2 has with these 'sparkles'.

I could do the week after half term, for a meet up, if I can work out travel arrangements.

hazeyjane Sat 25-Jan-14 19:16:32

Oops Happy Burns Night!

And Happy Birthday to Autumn's dd1!!

autumnsmum Sat 25-Jan-14 19:24:50

Thank you hazey she had a lovely day in the west end with her friends . We should defo have a meet up

AtYourCervix Sat 25-Jan-14 19:28:38

tbsmile

DD started her job today!!!

Small strop over 'where's my cardigan! I feel sick! I've got a headache!'

But I think it went ok. I peered in the window and she looked pretty cheerful.

I'm knackered. I'm going to see how monday's crap goes and then make a bit of a decision about whether i need time off work. I have leave the week after next but the thought of work crap on top of DD and school crap makes me cry.

AtYourCervix Sat 25-Jan-14 19:29:37

Happy Birthday LittleAutumn! cake

hazeyjane Sat 25-Jan-14 19:30:53

Oooh where did he come from!tbgrin

I did contemplate popping in for a coffee and leaving a good tip, Cervix! I peered in when we drove past earlier, and then realised I haven't got a clue what your dd looks like anyway! Glad she got on ok.

AtYourCervix Sat 25-Jan-14 19:41:48

Perhaps we need a local meetup there? tbgrin

zzzzz Sat 25-Jan-14 19:47:20

Hey all. I read half snoozed for 2 hours and then read the rest. What a life. grin

Commiserations for all the woes. sad
Happy birthday to all the birthday goslings (there seems to be a glut the las few weeks! Are we a significant distance from Easter weekend or something?).

I am going to show off. We have been to a soft play followed by Pizza Hut (on a Saturday) and enjoyed ourselves. grin ds1 was exhausted (as was I), but managed. Last year we just couldn't have done it grin .

Of course I have absolutely no interest in it her venue, both being work of the devil as far as I'm concerned, but grin

Also I have had the lovely polt to coffee this week and she has made me think (as usual). Ds1 is talking. Not a little bit better, but much much better. He is however very very oppositional/defiant/stubborn not in an aggressive way, just sticks his heals in. Also getting more and more set in his ways. Too poor for a holiday, so I am going to have to "go out" relentlessly to see if that helps.......prepare for an exhausted zzzzz

NaHauldin happy Haggising. I like it, but perhaps that's genetic. My blood is tainted though I prefer the veggie version (faints with shame), it makes superb stuffing. grin

PolterGoose Sat 25-Jan-14 19:47:43

Happy birthday autumn's dd cake

Well done AYC's dd brew tbgrin

Ds was his grumpy self by bedtime, so he must be better, but will have to have Monday off school to cover the 48h rule.

The week after half term sounds good to me for a meet up. I will, of course, make cake.

zzzzz Sat 25-Jan-14 19:49:02

I'm in for a meet up. Every day has its juggle so better choose and I will see if humanly possible.

PolterGoose Sat 25-Jan-14 19:51:17

Well done on soft play and Pizza Hut shock did ds1 eat there? envy

zzzzz Sat 25-Jan-14 19:59:28

Ahuh.......tries to look nonchalant and fails totally.

grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin

PolterGoose Sat 25-Jan-14 20:06:34

What did he eat? hmm

NoHaudinMaWheest Sat 25-Jan-14 20:07:02

zzzzz well done that sounds a great achievement. Though like you neither would be my choice of venue.
Remainder of the haggis is stuffing the chicken tomorrow.

AYC great that dd managed well. Good luck for Monday.

I would love to meet up week after half term but there are quite a lot of unknowns at the moment so I will come if I possibly can.

autumnsmum Sat 25-Jan-14 20:10:18

Zzzzz your very smart I'm embaressed to admit dd1 is the result of the May bank holiday weekend .dd2s birthday is the 24th of September result of. Nye

NoHaudinMaWheest Sat 25-Jan-14 20:18:45

Ha ds's birthday is 27th September result of New Year and DH's 40th birthday.

ouryve Sat 25-Jan-14 20:22:16

DS2 had to have plain t-shirts for a while, last summer, when he took to chewing the decals off the printed ones. That was a fun phase.

DS1 has just gone to bed blathered in vaporub and armed with tissues. I've just made another attempt at teaching him to blow his nose. We've got further than ever before - one finger over one nostril and breathing out through his nose, but he's not managing to get any force behind it. At least he's not coughing his guts up. That's a transformation I'm still quite amazed by.

autumnsmum Sat 25-Jan-14 20:23:27

Thank you for all the birthday wishes for dd1 Hazey she loved your description of lapels loopy . Glad to hear about the successful jobs and outings

ouryve Sat 25-Jan-14 20:23:29

I'm the result of my dad's new year leave - he was in the army, at the time!

autumnsmum Sat 25-Jan-14 20:39:09

Ouryve my ds who has his birthday next Sunday still can't blow his nose he stands and screams I've got bogies ! Lovely

autumnsmum Sat 25-Jan-14 20:57:13

Polter have watched your videos albeit with dd2 leaping around playing annoying fisher price apps in my ear. I have to say your boy is exactly like my ds same movements everything

youarewinning Sat 25-Jan-14 21:45:46

Hi all. Sorry for disappearing act. A student lobbed something at me last week and I avoided it luckily. Unfortunately managed to give myself an injury requiring paramedic and entenox in the process blush thanks to naproxen and care I'm back up and running now!

Then DS has been getting worse as week went on ending in the 'stomach ache' on Friday. Managed to actually get him to say what was wrong tho - ie what the actual problem was!

Hooked centre parcs for August today. Hoping as he's actually chosen it he'll enjoy it grin

Right now I'm remembering exactly why I don't ever decorate his bedroom or move stuff round. It's gonna be a long night me thinks.

However cuntilitre is giving me all the amusement I need right now grin

PolterGoose Sat 25-Jan-14 21:54:06

Ouch youare flowers

autumn it's extremely reassuring to know that others can see the autism in ds, because so often it feels like other people don't see it.

zzzzz Sat 25-Jan-14 22:24:17

Batteries died.

He had a vanilla milkshake, and then a light salad (apple slices grapes cucumber raisins) followed by Spaghetti Bolognese (natch)......it was extremely normal. The acoustics were hideous and I could barely think for the shimmer, the food was yik but I am not a fan of pizza etc, but we was so normal. grin

I consider it a triumph. The soft play was easy shock. He just dived in and only needed rescuing once. I resuscitated him with chocolate stars which he hasn't eaten for years.

It's all a bit odd. We used to do this stuff about once a month when he was little but it's like he's just falling back into all the stuff he used to do.

And he can talk. grin

Autumn 4 of my 5 are the result of IVF. It makes you embarrassingly aware of who did what when! blush

autumnsmum Sun 26-Jan-14 09:30:10

Zzzz that sounds great well done your ds .

lougle Sun 26-Jan-14 09:35:55

OH I missed a birthday - happy birthday, hazey's dd1!

hazeyjane Sun 26-Jan-14 09:43:01

Well done your ds, zzzzz. We did soft play yesterday too, for dd1's best friend, ds normally snuggles on a lap, whilst everyone goes crazy, but yesterday he went round the whole (huge)soft play!........With a very knackered dh carrying him the whole way!

We have just had a shock discovery - when we first moved into this house, the bathroom ceiling collapsed into the bath (about 5 minutes after the dd's had vacated the bath). College (who own the house) fixed the leak in the roof that caused the roof to collapse, and then proceeded to be a bit crap about fixing the actual ceiling, patching up the hole with a sheet of plywood that has been there ever since. This morning I went to get a book of ds's shelf by his bed (his room is next to bathroom) to discover all the books were soaking wet! I went into the bathroom and the tiles in the wall have brown drips down them and are bulging - the whole bloody lot looks about to collapse!

Just trying to get in touch with someone to come out, and move ds's bed away from the wall, it is a really expensive profiling bed and not ours, so would be a nightmare if it ended up with half a ton of roof on it!

hazeyjane Sun 26-Jan-14 09:44:25

<pokes Lougle and whispers> I think it was Autumn's dd1's birthday.
grin

SallyBear Sun 26-Jan-14 09:58:21

Oh dear god. Take photos. Lots of photos. That's appalling.

lougle Sun 26-Jan-14 10:05:52

eek hazey!

Apologies to autmnsmum -happy birthday dd1! Sorry, not firing on all cylinders.

hazeyjane Sun 26-Jan-14 10:08:21

ok have moved the bed (couldn't work out how to take brakes offblush) and book shelf.

Now making chocolate banana muffins, if in danger - keep calm and make cake.

hazeyjane Sun 26-Jan-14 10:08:48

yes, sally, and taken photos!

SallyBear Sun 26-Jan-14 10:14:28

Mmmmmm muffins.....

autumnsmum Sun 26-Jan-14 10:23:23

Thank you lougle much appreciated hazey that's dreadful your having a really hard time at the moment

PolterGoose Sun 26-Jan-14 10:26:34

hazey shock thankfully cakes cure everything wink good luck with the repairs

hazeyjane Sun 26-Jan-14 10:31:15

Chocolate banana muffins for everyonesmile

PolterGoose Sun 26-Jan-14 10:32:45

They look fantastic envy

OneInEight Sun 26-Jan-14 10:49:55

This can't compete with Hazey's OMG moment but OMG ds2 has just cut his hair! In truth he has probably done a better job than I would have done but it looks a little eccentric to say the least. It took three attempts to get him to the barbers last time so a rescue job seems unlikely.

lougle Sun 26-Jan-14 10:54:16

Mmmm muffins.

Hair...been there. To be fair it's something that DD1 and DD2 have never done. NT DD3 - cut a big chunk of DD1's hair away, just beside the fringe on one side. She doesn't have much anyway...it didn't look good!

homework Sun 26-Jan-14 11:03:10

They do look very nice . With chocolate my son would love them . Don't know so much about the banana .
Funny story
Long time ago when he was in special school , his teacher insisted he eat a banana at lunch cause all the other kids where , he manage to let her know he didn't like banana ( don't know if it's the taste , smell, feel whatever but he not eat it) . She kept insisting , stood over him till he ate the think , few minutes late , he promptly vomited the thing back up all over himself but he did manage to get a fair bit over her as well.
Got send home a bag of wet clothes , he came home in spare kit from school which surprised me that she got him into as very fussy about feel of clothes on his skin and smell of washing powder used .

Moral story is she never made him eat something he said he didn't like again.

autumnsmum Sun 26-Jan-14 11:47:10

Dd2s special are great they cut her hair last week

youarewinning Sun 26-Jan-14 13:26:41

Happy birthday to dd1 autumn.

Zzzz great result on soft play and pizza.

autumnsmum Sun 26-Jan-14 13:36:21

Thanks you are this weeks impossible homework has been to create a quiz about a Edwardian servants life and to describe the origins of World War One which I remember doing for a level!

moosemama Sun 26-Jan-14 13:37:46

Ds1 just showed me something I've never seen before.

Go into Google search and type in: do a barrell roll

It amused me anyway - little things please little minds eh?

PolterGoose Sun 26-Jan-14 13:55:14

That's clever moose grin

lougle Sun 26-Jan-14 14:05:07

moose that is very clever smile

Google is insanely clever, it has to be said.

I love the inbuilt dictionary, calculator and translator functions.

It's also configured for flight tracking, cinema times and conversions.

moosemama Sun 26-Jan-14 14:21:55

Now try putting in: zerg rush

You can actually play that one - you have to click on them repeatedly. grin

moosemama Sun 26-Jan-14 14:23:59

I should add that he was supposed to be doing his maths homework when he decided to demonstrate all this to me. Procrastinator? Ds1? Never! grin

He is an absolute mine of amusing, yet useless computer related trivia that boy.

ouryve Sun 26-Jan-14 16:01:26

askew is a another google one, I think.

That's horrifix, Hazey. Muffins look delicious, mind!

Happy birhtday to your DD, autumn.

Hell, I've got cold hands, tday. Can barely type.

SummerRain Sun 26-Jan-14 16:27:25

I've lost a few days somewhere along the way, only just realised there was a new g&c blush

I've been up since 2.30 so not really coherent enough at this stage to post properly, just wanted to check in so I don't mislay ye all again!

Galena Sun 26-Jan-14 16:50:23

Gah! Headlice! First infestation ever! Thatwillbeall.

autumnsmum Sun 26-Jan-14 16:53:20

Thank you ouryve she had a lovely birthday galena I've always found the only thing that gets rid of headlice is endless combing

autumnsmum Sun 26-Jan-14 17:09:03

Decided to look at the explosive child for ds . I really feel I have been letting him down recently

signandsingcarols Sun 26-Jan-14 17:18:01

just catching up... yay for birthdays and double yay for all the coping with odd places... very impressed!

right will start a proper sw meet up thread when I have checked when/if the church is free, will bring some options and see who can do which day.

we all seem to have 'the flops' here, both dh and I have had a (seperate) nap this aft blush and grandma has been so floppy she has not seen ds all weekend, unheard of!

ah well, it is a)winter and b) wet and cold....

ds has been playing bin weevils, he has apparently won himself a 'bin pet' for the day, ( small blob called cuddles that can juggle hmm)

cue much flapping, squeaking and yelling 'bin pet!! bin pet!!!! BIN PET!!!! eeeeeeeeeEEEE!!!!' sometimes he can pfn, and sometimes we are sooooo far from that... grin

Thepoodoctor Sun 26-Jan-14 17:23:07

Happy birthdays to everybody!

Galena bad luck re headlice. DD has just had a go. Loads of conditioner and wet combing. Have you got a nitty gritty comb - standby in this house smile if they persist we eventually treated DD with Hedrin which suffocates the buggers.

Also do you insist on hair completely tied up for school? We'd got a bit lax and suffered for it I suspect. Ponytails or bunches all the way now!

Request for DS SA accepted and we've agreed to it being an education, Health and care plan assessment. Which apparently will take a holistic view of his needs and may consider what goes on at home and how that affects school. I'm not holding my breath smile

Also we have an independent ed psych coming to see him next few weeks. So all DS- related go here suddenly!

Galena Sun 26-Jan-14 17:32:12

Hair always in a plait at school... Tesco treatment stuff on.

Thepoodoctor Sun 26-Jan-14 17:58:27

Ah bother - I hoped leaving DDs down had been the reason for her picking them up! Obviously not!

Hope the treatment stuff works. I bet wet combing those beautiful blonde curls of hers is a pain. Never been so thankful for my DD having poker straight hair!

Galena Sun 26-Jan-14 18:02:23

yeah, I've got a comb, but couldn't face it... She's a hairbrush- refuser if she thinks she can get away with it. This stuff is one treatment now and another in a week. Needless to say we only disvovered them after her best friend's party this afternoon... where she had her hair down. argh!

hazeyjane Sun 26-Jan-14 18:15:40

Shudder to headlice, we have been lucky so far, but they will get us one day...

Emergency plumber eventually turned up, sorted leak, but said the main problem is condensation which is a bigger job. Hopefully it will all be sorted next week, as roof is still in danger of collapsing. So ds is in with us, his chest is has been bad today so would probably end up there anyway.

Unfortunately work means we may be bathroomless for a week.

autumnsmum Sun 26-Jan-14 18:15:40

Galena I remember embaressed phone calls on my part where dd1 had been at a party and that evening I found the buggers!

PolterGoose Sun 26-Jan-14 18:26:44

Galena yuk, ds was quite sad we had to kill his head visitors, Hedrin did the job in one go, he was riddled with them as he wouldn't let us touch his head.

hazey bugger, you need many cuntilitres of wine

Ds still pooey today so no school for him until Wednesday now.

lougle Sun 26-Jan-14 19:27:53

Only DD1 has had lice, only once. I was rushing around, trying to get DD1 on her bus to school, DD2 to school, DD3 to preschool, when I was hurriedly putting up DD1's hair. As I pulled the last of the hair through the band and adjusted it I thought 'what's that fluff?'

It was a louse envy So I had to get DD2 to school, DD3 to preschool, go to the chemist, treat DD1, then drive her into school.

Happy days.

StarlightMcKingsThree Sun 26-Jan-14 21:55:20

Just trying to catch up.

Had a lovely lunch in a restaurant with pre-kids friends who like kids.... So that was nice.

Not looking forward tomorrow when it is all going to kick off with the transport stuff.

Written my shitty email ready for submission as soon as I wake, but I'm gonna have to take ds to school tomorrow AFTER I have dropped off dd because I have had not time to make alternative arrangements. Thinking of not taking him at all tbh.....

lougle Sun 26-Jan-14 21:58:56

Glad lunch was good, Star.

I don't envy the transport bunfight. Remember you're on the right side, so you can be gracious in helping them to see it!

Perchkin Sun 26-Jan-14 22:14:40

7 pages here for me to catch up on - so apologies if I don't manage it!

Yuk to the head lice envy. We have not had that problem yet and so far I'm happily convincing myself that DS hasn't got the sort of hair that lice like!

I feel utterly exhausted but I still need to write a letter to school before I can go to bed. I know it will take me ages because I can't think properly and it needs to be right.

Hope you get the house sorted next week hazey and that DS chest gets better soon.

Really hope all the Monday morning back to schools go well for everyone tomorrow.

StarlightMcKingsThree Sun 26-Jan-14 22:21:57

gracious.........................Bleugh. I wanna ram the equality act up their tight little backsides......

StarlightMcKingsThree Sun 26-Jan-14 22:24:58

Good luck with the letter perch

I just finished my mammoth one. It's horrible having to do it. It's not like a report for work or anything as it's so emotional and the outcome so important.

Galena Mon 27-Jan-14 08:10:08

Oh for heaven's sake!

Just had a phonecall from DD's teacher checking that I knew her review was at 9:15 this morning (Ok, she pho[ned DH's mobile rather than the home phone, but that's by the by). Only all the correspondence I have had about it says 2pm. I've just phoned the school and it does seem to be 9:15, so now I'm rushing about madly trying to sort out the bits of paper I want to take with me.

Of course, I also booked a CityLink collection for today, forgetting the bloody review completely. 'Luckily' DH is off work poorly tbhmm so he will wait at home with the box in the back of the big car and I will take DD in the small car to school and then stay for her review. ARGH!

autumnsmum Mon 27-Jan-14 08:10:41

Hi off on a school trip today with ds who doesn't want to go! It's at the temple at neasden so it should be very interesting star good luck with the email and Hazey. I hope things improve

Galena Mon 27-Jan-14 09:18:15

Oh look, I'm back.

I emailed the advisory teacher who I have a great deal of respect for, telling her about the time confusion (I didn't want her to miss the review as she is so capable and sensible) and she has phoned the school as she was also told 2pm. So now it's at... 2pm! Honestly, this SENCO couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery!

moosemama Mon 27-Jan-14 09:30:44

Sorry to hear about everyone's difficult weekends and starts to the week.

My boys only ever got headlice once - and I didn't notice until we were already on our holiday - camping. hmm Fortunately, as the weather was so bad my Mum booked us into a hotel for the last two days so we were able to get it sorted in the bathroom there. We used Lyclear, as I was 4 months pregnant with dd and the chemist at the village we were staying in said it was the only one that wasn't contraindicated. Did the trick.

We came home, bought a NittyGritty comb and religiously combed their hair through every bathtime from then until last year. I suppose we ought to start again with dd now really - I understand it's likely to be a much more frequent problem with girls than it was with boys, especially when one of them spent his entire ks1 on his own in the playground.

Hazey, house stuff sounds really stressful, very similar to something we've had with the boys' bedroom here. Hope it gets sorted quickly and ds's chest is better soon. I wonder whether that's been having an impact on his chest all along and he'll improve once it's fixed?

Good luck to Perchkin with your letter, Star with your email and transport battle and Galena with your review.

I am at home without a single dd for the first time since the second week in December! shock

I am also on day 1 of a life overhaul, which is a bit scary, but very necessary. Have bravely weighed myself and started logging on My Fitness Pal. Plan is to eat healthily, move more and gradually build up my exercise, starting with just making myself actually walk briskly when I take the dogs, working up (over a few months I hasten to add) to hopefully restarting the 30 Day Shred when I've lost my first stone or so. On top of that we have signed up for YNAB to try and reign in our finances.

All feels a bit impossible, given my current weight and state of health and finances, but we need to do something and even tiny footsteps of progress has to feel better than this.

hazeyjane Mon 27-Jan-14 09:31:41

Oh dear Galena, that all sounds familiar - good luck for later!

Autumn, hope school trip goes well.

Star good luck with email/transport shenanigans.

Just necking a coffee in preparation for physio home visit - new piedros, after a 3 month wait - yippee!

Then preschool and SALT visit, she wants to discuss the possibilyt of funding for an AAC ipad app, which will be interesting.

Ds in our bed last night, and coughing badly, so had to act as a human profiling bed, propping him up for the night!

ouryve Mon 27-Jan-14 09:53:37

Ugh. Headlice. We're so lucky never to have had an infestation. One of the boys DS1 knocks about with has had problems with them, recently, so I've been having to work hard on hairbrush desensitising him so I can keep an eye out for the little buggers. I can touch his head for all of 30 seconds now, but treating them would prove interesting. I'd need to offer some major bribes.

Got the boys off to school without too much drama, this morning. Apart from a new gouge in the battered old IKEA TV cabinet, we have. Most of DS1's class are out on residential for a few days. He'll either be a mass of seething resentment or enjoy the peace and quiet.

Enjoy your alone time, moose

And good luck with the killer letter, starlight

Galena Mon 27-Jan-14 16:22:49

What a fab review!

Reading age of 9.0, reading level of 1b, writing level of 1c, maths level 1b. Provision to continue as it is. Everyone very pleased with her.

I can't believe that this time last year she would scream if I dared step foot out of Playgroup, even just to go to the toilet!

Now, talk to me about being a governor... There is a vacancy at DD's school and the head is leaving in July, so the new gov will be involved in recruiting the new head... What does it involve?

autumnsmum Mon 27-Jan-14 16:38:45

We'll well done mini galena teme visit went well I found it fascinating ds coped well with statues and chanting now totally shattered

autumnsmum Mon 27-Jan-14 16:39:05

Meant temple

ouryve Mon 27-Jan-14 16:43:18

Great news, Galena!

Well, after this morning's playtime explosion, DS1 walked home from school with not one single grumble. He muttered to himself a bit, but didn't even complain about having to squeeze past parked cars. He's not been wordless, since he came in and it's all pretty negative, when he does speak.

Of course, going back to how we usually do after school and getting DS2 into the house through the back door was a challenge - all because he came in through the front, on Friday, after our, er, adventure. I had to wrestle him out of the buggy. Then carry him across the road into the yard. Then go and catch him after he ran off when i unlocked the door. Then shoehorn him in the house. Then lock the door and hide the key. He was bawling, by this point. Then he started raiding all my pockets, looking for keys.... Fun.hmm

PolterGoose Mon 27-Jan-14 16:44:26

That's fab Galena well done dd grin

autumn glad the temple trip went well, it's all very mono-cultural down here, but I have lovely memories of going to the Sikh temple where I grew up.

Ds is surgically attached to the new David Walliams book which I picked up on the way home from work (along with a plethora of mathsy things), he says it's the 'best book ever'.

SallyBear Mon 27-Jan-14 16:44:47

Galena that's great. I've just applied to be a governor. Waiting to hear!

PolterGoose Mon 27-Jan-14 16:45:11

ouryve brew

ouryve Mon 27-Jan-14 16:50:22

DH has just made me my second since I got home, polter grin

Summoning up the energy to go make dinner.

autumnsmum Mon 27-Jan-14 16:57:31

Ouryve have more tea! While visiting a place full of magnificent carvings and gorgeous colours ds was most impressed by the live underground timetable he was also annoyed we had to use the north circular

ouryve Mon 27-Jan-14 17:00:40

DS1 loves those live timetables. There's a sort of crap version of one in Durham bus station and he's usually mesmerised by it.

moosemama Mon 27-Jan-14 17:59:20

wine I need wine and I can't have any because I've started my blooming diet hmm

Dh is out until late chairing his user group for work and ds1 starting ranting by text before he even got halfway home.

He's been home half an hour and so far we've had, major tears as he came through the door and three lots of full on throwing-himself-on-the-floor wailing meltdowns over homework, then more tears when he realised he failed to do one at the weekend that was due today (because for some reason he decided that homework didn't apply to him, as he was taken out of class for a small portion of the lesson confused) and he's worried he's now going to get a detention as a result. <<sigh>>

I have countered by making his favourite tea and promised full computer time, even though it will probably mean a late bedtime.

I stupidly took the dogs for an extra long walk today, to make up for the crappy ones they've been getting while we had poxy children and am now beyond exhausted and distinctly lacking in sugar, fat, carbs and chocolate.

Roll on bedtime ...

autumnsmum Mon 27-Jan-14 18:06:08

Thought of zzzz tonight we had spaghetti Bol for tea .moose and ouryve your boys seem to
Both be having awful times at school

stillstandingatthebusstop Mon 27-Jan-14 18:57:54

I have been reading all the messages. Great review Galena. Sorry to hear about school and nit stress. I once had a mega infestation when on holiday. I have long thick hair and it was horrendous. I worry if the boys got nits these days that my eyesight is so rubbish I wouldn't be able to see the little buggers. Another reason to borrow dh's reading glasses. Moose your life overhaul sounds like a positive step (or a lot of positive steps) smile

hazeyjane Mon 27-Jan-14 20:07:47

What a long day.

Physio this morning, ds has his new boots-yay! She is concerned about the way one of his feet has started rolling in more than the other. Ds has been pointing to one of his legs and signing 'hurt' and she felt his legs and noticed that one leg was considerably looser than the other one, which was very tight. She also watched him climbing the stairs and noticed a lot of twisty movements in his hips. She wants to see him again next month.

Then someone came over to sort ceiling, hopefully contractors are coming in tomorrow to start fixing it.

Then SALT came to observe ds at preschool and then talk about the statement and possibilities of using the iPad as an AAC device. She was talking about frequency of SALT visits when at school, and saying that she would be hoping for a visit every 6 weeks with the TAs implementing SALT in between. I also said I wanted it written into the statement that Makaton is used and supported by all members of staff. She said she thinks ds will use a communication device in the future, and it will be an iPad, but to hold off until he is settled in school, and to have it written into statement that staff will all be sent on a training course for using it.

hazeyjane Mon 27-Jan-14 20:11:10

now drinking winesmile!

ConstantCraving Mon 27-Jan-14 21:03:55

I am SO up and down this week. Down now because I have just read a horrible thread in AIBU about a fussy eater (the cheese and pasta one) that makes me despair. My DD is a very fussy eater - well, food resistant - and may have ASD (we'll know soon) and is just different. I hadn't realised how little tolerance or empathy or willingness to try to understand there is. It scares me for her sad.

Perchkin Mon 27-Jan-14 21:53:41

Constant that thread made me feel very sad too sad. My DS isn't a great eater either, and that could be him sad. I can understand the sighing and rolling of the eyes at his behaviour, but some of those comments are so nasty. I dread DS coming across people like that in the future sad.

Well after such a good week last week DS had a full blown meltdown in the car on the way home. All because of something that happened at school today that he "can't tell me about as it will make him too sad and he'll cry". But as I get no communication from school I felt I did have to try and get it out of him and find out what has made him so unhappy and anxious at school today. I finally got it out of him by using every trick in the book. Apparently they had a film to watch today in one of their lessons and he didn't like it - too scary, too loud, too everything. He broke down crying with his eyes shut, hands over his ears and said "I want to go home". He was told by his teacher that "you can't go home" and had to stay there until the end of the film :-(. He is so distraught by this that he couldn't tell me about it for nearly 2 hours as he didn't want to relive the experience again.

I am livid with school.

Time for yet another letter and I will go in and speak with someone (I have no idea who to take these things to any more) in the morning.

Up one day and down the next.

ouryve Mon 27-Jan-14 21:57:16

You've made me tired, Hazey.

Constant so many fussy eater threads make me despair. When people go on about they cook one meal and that gets eaten, all I can think is "well aren't you lucky, then". So many people have no idea of the sensory and psychological issues our children have with food, to a greater or lesser extent.

ouryve Mon 27-Jan-14 21:59:27

perchkin sad

lougle Mon 27-Jan-14 22:13:36

Well done Galena's DD!

Moose great to hear you're signing up to YNAB. Do join us on the YNAB support thread if you have questions or comments. It's fab, really it is.

wine [tea] cake for all that need it.

I've had quite an interesting day.

I went to the Hampshire Parents' and Carers' Network meeting, which I was seriously impressed with. They're doing all sorts of policy influencing stuff and seem to have really built relationships with the LA to get involved in those areas while remaining independent and being able to challenge. I'd like to get more involved there, and for them to get to know the two special schools I'm a Governor for.

Galena -Governance is really rewarding. It's time consuming, though. Governors are strategic 'friends' of the school, to support and challenge in order to help the school progress.

Recruiting the new Head will be quite a challenge - if you're involved you'll have to decide as a Governing Body what qualities you're looking for, and then a panel of you will interview the prospective heads. It's quite a responsibility.

The key thing is that the role is strategic, so you don't get involved in the day to day running of the school - that's for the staff. Your role is to ensure that the policies and procedures are effective and fit for purpose, that they're reviewed and modified as necessary and that there is evidence that the school is implementing them appropriately. You get a lot of information which you can't share with other parents and you are bound by the decisions of the GB. In other words, even if you don't personally agree with a decision made, once the GB has made it (by majority vote, for e.g.) then you have to support it as if you had agreed with it, when speaking to others. You can't say 'well I didn't agree with this...', you can only say 'the Governing Body decided that....'

moosemama Mon 27-Jan-14 22:46:20

Perchin, my ds has never been able to watch films at school - well actually he's phobic about feature films/movies in general, although has managed to watch a couple at home recently - but at school this extends to information videos etc as well. He can't cope with not knowing what is going to happen next. We eventually managed to get it written into his statement to make sure the school understood it wasn't just him being difficult when he freaked out at even the suggestion of the class watching a video and from that point on we were always lent a copy of the dvd to watch at home and decide whether or not he could watch it with us first to prepare him or there was just no way he would cope with it.

He had a similar situation as your ds when he was in y1 (years before diagnosis and statementing). They put on The BFG, he panicked and broke down and the teacher still made him stay in the room, but sat him on her knee. She later told me he was absolutely rigid with his fingers in his ears and his face welded to her shoulder. What sort of a person puts a 5 year old through that? Surely as soon as they see how distressing it is for the child, anyone with an ounce of compassion would take them out of the classroom. I'm pretty sure that incident was a strong contributing factor to him developing a proper phobia, rather than just being more scared than his nct peers. angry

I really feel for your ds. It's plainly cruel to make a child sit through something they are clearly scared of/not coping with.

We were lucky, as after the BFG incident word got around the staffroom and no-one forced him to watch anything after that. (Didn't make them agree with us that he may have ASD though - but that's another story.)

Lougle, thanks. Dh has gone through it all and watched the videos etc and is planning to teach me all about it this week. I will definitely go and have a look at the support thread, as I'm pretty sure I still won't have a clue what I'm doing. blush

SallyBear Tue 28-Jan-14 07:45:47

Off to GOSH today for a raft of appointments. Hoping to get a date for the bilateral ear reconstruction surgeries from DD's surgeon today. Then meeting an old school friend who I've not seen in 27 years. smile

lougle Tue 28-Jan-14 07:48:28

That sounds like a good line up, SallyBear smile

PolterGoose Tue 28-Jan-14 08:00:51

Hope today goes well Sally smile

moose best of luck with the life changes, I should do something similar, perhaps you can inspire me with your success wink

Ds has a related issue with films at school, he can mostly cope with the watching but the aftermath is usually a rage.

I've got ds home again to comply with the 48h thing, with luck the Lego model we ordered with his Xmas money will arrive today <fingers crossed>

autumnsmum Tue 28-Jan-14 08:06:42

Sally that's great hope you get your surgery date . Moose you've inspired me I need to get my flat sorted out . It's a three bed ground floor flat so no attic and with five of us it's beyond cluttered. Dp made me furious by suggesting his mum comes to help . It's la long term temporary so we will be here a while . One issue is dp refuses to get rid of any of the Dcs old possessions he's a classic case of I'll put it on eBay which never happens. However this morning I'm going to recover from the trip

autumnsmum Tue 28-Jan-14 08:18:52

Oh god just looked at pasta thread I have utterly failed as a mother it would seem as ds had pasta and shock horror cheddar cheese last night while the rest of us had spag bol

Galena Tue 28-Jan-14 08:22:24

I couldn't find the pasta thread...

PolterGoose Tue 28-Jan-14 08:25:27
autumnsmum Tue 28-Jan-14 08:36:17

Poltergeist I don't know if your ds is the same but if I gave my ds blue cheese he would go into orbit

PolterGoose Tue 28-Jan-14 08:40:32

autumn if I gave mine cheese or pasta of any sort he'd meltdown, he lives on marmite sandwiches hmm

autumnsmum Tue 28-Jan-14 08:44:33

Remember though we've just got to make them man up joke ! I haven't read the whole thread it just made me glad ds has no social life

zzzzz Tue 28-Jan-14 09:29:18

grin autumn mine had spag Bol while the rest of us had sausage and mash. Ds gags on cheese, though he used to eat babybel.

hazeyjane Tue 28-Jan-14 09:45:28

Good Luck today Sallybear - hope you have a good lunch after.

Fingers crossed for Lego model arriving!

It just annoys me in those threads, the number if people who turn up to throw their hands up in horror at a child eating chicken nuggets, hotdogs or pasta and cheese. I would be dancing a jig of joy if ds would eat any of those things - he would hide his head if there was a piece of pasta near him.

However......drum roll........he is at the moment sat next to me drinking........chocolate soya milk and experimenting with a fig roll!!!!!!!

(This is the first vaguely milky drink he has had since he was on formula and I am taking the 30% fruit thing on the front of the fig roll packet to mean that this is a positively healthy snack!!)

autumnsmum Tue 28-Jan-14 09:57:42

Hazel that's great is the Lego pirate related perchance? Now for a v personal rant about food thread. Firstly I'm sure one poster described a child as bright definitely no sn . Now there are many posters on Mnsn who have bright children with sn . Now to the bit that May sound like I'm being precious or whingey.on many threads such as the one mentioned parents mention being bright almost as though it's the only thing that matters I'm probably being over sensitive but dd2 is gorgeous, lovely and has a great sense of humour . It is also increasingly clear she has some level of learning difficulty . I hope that doesn't mean that others see her as a less important child because she most certainly isn't ! Sorry for mega post

PolterGoose Tue 28-Jan-14 10:03:30

hazey fig rolls have been one of ds's staples for years, they definitely count as fruit in this house (dietician agreed too)

autumn good rant, totally agree with you.

moosemama Tue 28-Jan-14 10:07:36

Sally good luck for today and hope you enjoy your meet-up.

Well, I am already 4lbs down. (I know, I know, I shouldn't weigh myself daily, but it actually helped keep me on track last time I did this.) It's water weight of course, but it's helped motivate me to stick with it.

On the negative side I had a horrendous night, chock full of horrible neurological crap and am steaming mad a dh who just woke up, said "Are you having an episode?" then patted me on the shoulder and went back to sleep. I really thought I was in for another big seizure, was curled up int he dark really scared and he just went straight back to sleep. angry

But enough of that ... onwards and upwards, I'm determined not to let it stall my life overhaul - especially not so soon.

Food: ds1 would live on a combination of cheese, pasta and nothing else if I'd let him, only he's gf and I'm pretty sure sensitive to dairy as well, so not ideal. hmm He even has a little song he sings endlessly called "I Like Cheese".

Hazey, fig rolls are actually pretty good for you, as biscuits go. They have around half the fat of many so-called low-fat biscuits, don't have hydrogenated fats or oils in them and have less added, refined, sugar than most biscuits, because of the natural sugars in the figs. They're actually recommended by some doctors for children who have constipation, as they have a high fibre content.

I found all this out last time I dieted and wanted the occasional sweet snack. I found I could stop at one of them, because they're so sweet and they were way better than any of the alternatives. (Very useful when you're on regular high-dose cocodamol as well, iykwim. wink)

zzzzz Tue 28-Jan-14 10:07:37

Chocolate soya milk and a fig roll!!!!! grin shock grin

hazey that is brilliant.

I have a problem with the "bright" thing too. Ds1 IS very bright. Sort of genius styley bright. He is years behind at school though because he has only very recently had more than very basic language. People DO treat him differently (better) once they think of him as a "disabled clever boy". It's not ok really, is it?

ouryve Tue 28-Jan-14 10:07:51

Excellent progress, Hazey! Long may it last!

I have DS1 on the desktop doing an easy comprehension exercise. This block of questions is easy, anyhow. The next lot are inference questions. Keeping him busy and not mooching, without overly challenging him.

moosemama Tue 28-Jan-14 10:08:50

autumn, I think you speak for the majority of us there. Well said. flowers

moosemama Tue 28-Jan-14 10:13:53

Hazey, forgot to say. Chocolate soya milk is a weekly treat for my two youngest (ds1 has strawberry).

Ds1 has gone off to school clutching his new netbook - finally - this morning. Hoping it means he'll have a better day.

Yesterday was a total bust and I've had to write two full pages in his contact book as a result. Incidents with the same two bloody boys, who for some unknown reason, no fewer than three teachers saw fit to put him in teams/groups with in just one day! shock End result was one of them stamped on and smashed his new pen and the other deliberately sabotaged his work. angry Then the one on transport kicked off at him big-style (hence the tears as he walked through the door) because the SEN team held him up for 10 minutes again when he went to collect his contact book. angry

Ds told me transport boy is under threat of expulsion now. Which gives me a dilemma, as I need to report what he's doing to ds, so it can be stopped, but don't want to be the cause of him getting kicked out. sad

PolterGoose Tue 28-Jan-14 10:27:29

moose you have to tell school, I wish ds's lovely friend and his equally lovely mum would report all the stuff my ds does at school instead of thinking it's kinder not to get ds in trouble. School need to know.

ouryve Tue 28-Jan-14 11:32:02

moose - you wouldn't be the cause of him being kicked out. Clearly, the boy's needs are not being met and his behaviour towards your DS and his repeated opportunities to get at your DS are a demonstration of this. Even though it's hard to see it happening, and you can empathise, to some extent with the other boy and his family, in the end it's your DS who is your primary concern.

moosemama Tue 28-Jan-14 12:47:10

I have been reporting - when ds will let me, as he's scared of retaliation - I just feel bad about it. What I want to do is go into school and scream at them to start supporting their pupils properly. angry

Thank you for the support. I really appreciate it. It's good to know you understand where I'm coming from, as there's no-one in rl I can really talk to about all this.

I should be out walking the dogs now, but it's raining - again - and I'm so tired after last night. Think I will let myself off the hook and just take them for a quick one to the local park today.

PolterGoose Tue 28-Jan-14 12:50:30

Yay! Lego arrived grin

hazeyjane Tue 28-Jan-14 14:57:11

Thumbs up to chocolate soya milk

Thumbs down for Fig Roll

<scrubs chewed up spat out fig roll glop off carpet>

autumnsmum Tue 28-Jan-14 15:01:30

Did your ds ever have soya formula remember mixing that when I worked in a baby room it was really. Hard to clean the bottles after

PolterGoose Tue 28-Jan-14 15:20:48

Well done on the chocolate soya milk, shame about the fig rolls, we had a few incidents with ds putting too much in his mouth at once and having to pick out the congealed gloop because he couldn't dislodge it from the roof of his mouth, lovely, strangely didn't put him off hmm

ouryve Tue 28-Jan-14 15:55:40

I make my porridge with soya milk and that's really hard to clean. I can only soak it in hot water for so long and then it just needs some serious soapy elbow grease. On the rare occasions I make it with lactofree, it's nowhere near as difficult to clean.

stillstandingatthebusstop Tue 28-Jan-14 18:08:44

Fig rolls! There's blast from the past. What about squashed fly biscuits? I used to love those.

Today has disappeared in a haze of transport issues. They asked me to put my complaint in writing this time. (I am wondering why I haven't done that before.) So once I finally got back from the bus stop I spent a lot of my morning writing an email and if stuff round here doesn't get done in the morning it doesn't get done.

Quite pleased with my email though.

ouryve Tue 28-Jan-14 18:45:00

Good on you for getting the email written, stillstanding.

I managed to get a long letter written to school, outlining DS1's issues, this term, in between keeping him busy busy busy, today. I've enjoyed spending time with him for the first time since he's been back at school. If we've not been firefighting, I've just been feeling incredibly sad for him. I'm going to use some of this time off to work through some Huebner stuff with him. I have the anxiety and the temper book, but I've ordered the grumbling book because I think that one might be most pertinent, at the moment. We need to work on some flexible thinking and honing a sense of proportion.

He has a particular job at school, but if he's not first there, sometimes someone else does the job. This seems to be a big trigger point for his explosions, currently. I mentioned to him that making tea seems to be my job, so what would he think if dad decided to make tea and I blew my top and started shouting and throwing things. He looked rather horrified and said "well you wouldn't do anything like that, mum." Hopefully that means I have a hook to help him realise that his reaction to not being able to do his job is disproportionate and inappropriate (he likes long words, so we can use them) and that we need to figure out other ways of looking at it and dealing with the disappointment.

And in other news, DS2 walked up to me, earlier, looking like a scene from a horror film. One of his lovely nose bleeds [squicked out face]

AliceinWinterWonderland Tue 28-Jan-14 20:10:20

Just popping in to say hello. I really need to catch up. Been a bit busy running from thing to thing to thing around here.

Luckily convinced the asthma nurse to do a phone appointment for DS2, so I didn't have to drag him out of school. Although they won't do that for DS1, as he is struggling on the meds he is on and will need another added. Poop. They're adding some type of chewable allergy med for DS2 - which is lovely as maybe that means he won't blow snot all over everything every time he sneezes! blush sorry for anyone that might be eating while reading! grin He really is like a leaky tap... nose just drip drip drip.

Counselling starts tomorrow. I am really looking forward to it! So silly to be so pleased, but it's long overdue.

PolterGoose Tue 28-Jan-14 20:23:39

ouryve glad you and ds1 had a good day, good luck with the Huebner books, grumbling is our next one but I'm just waiting for the right time, probably half term.

Alice good luck with the snot

PolterGoose Tue 28-Jan-14 20:24:02

And best wishes for the counselling too flowers

AliceinWinterWonderland Tue 28-Jan-14 20:31:38

good luck with the snot

Now there's something you don't see every day. grin

SallyBear Tue 28-Jan-14 21:57:58

Well tonight I suddenly remembered that its 'Greek Day' at DS3's school tomorrow. It's amazing what you can achieve with a pillowcase and a marker pen. here

youarewinning Wed 29-Jan-14 07:27:55

Wow that costume is amazing.

Caught up with thread. brew to those who need it.

SALT apt this afternoon. Initial one so should be interesting!

SallyBear Wed 29-Jan-14 08:52:40

Thank you. My little chilly Spartan this morning. here

autumnsmum Wed 29-Jan-14 08:57:13

Sally that picture has cheered me up on a miserable morning did your appointments go well?

zzzzz Wed 29-Jan-14 09:02:57

Good grief she'll freeze! grin looks fab though.

SallyBear Wed 29-Jan-14 09:10:46

Tell me about it zzzzz. Poor boy. Packed his uniform just incase.
Appointments went well thanks Autumn - ear reconstruction surgery booked for 29/10/14. confused

zzzzz Wed 29-Jan-14 09:55:23

I sent mine in last year with the throw (brown blanket) off the sofa last year. He was a bit embarrassed but when I picked up there were three of he huddled under it......probably historically accurate.

End of next year??? [resigned sigh]

We're in hospital for the lump on dd's back today. I'm pretty sure nothing too arduous, but the logistics of how to get everyone where they need to be are frankly hideous.

AliceinWinterWonderland Wed 29-Jan-14 09:56:02

Sally - very cool costume!!!

zzzzz Wed 29-Jan-14 09:56:43

last year, he=them

Sorry bath time

PolterGoose Wed 29-Jan-14 10:12:18

He looks lovely Sally and glad you have a date for dd smile

zzzzz good luck today flowers

Ds went back to school today grin to be fair, he's been lovely while off, but it is a relief to be home alone blush

Perchkin Wed 29-Jan-14 10:26:43

Another one wishing you well with the snot smile and counselling Sally
I love that costume it's brilliant!

Ouryve I am just about to start on the Heubner temper/anger book. I have also got the other two books sitting here. Worries was the first one I started to use with DS when he had become so anxious and stressed last term.

I've also got "How to make and keep friends" by Briggs and Shea. It's a bit American and I don't always agree with everything but I modify some of the points they give and have been picking and choosing chapters to go through with DS as they arise. I'm finding it fantastically useful for DS because each chapter lists 10 top tips (rules) for a different social scenario. He likes lists, and rules smile, so this really suits him. 10 tips are easy to remember and for him to try and apply in any given social situation. And it's not all about friendships it covers lots of social scenarios (personal space, eye contact, staying on topic and changing topics, being a good playdate guest, good table manners, how to handle rejection etc etc) - all things that DS needs guidance with. We pick a chapter, work through the top tips together, and then I give him a photocopy of that chapter to keep, along with any modifications we might have made.

zzzzz hope the hospital trip goes well.

Picked up DS from school yesterday to be told that he hit another DC at playtime. I was mortified sad. So we didn't have a good evening and DS has had his privileges removed for a fortnight. And I've been in to speak to his teacher again this morning - there's always something isn't there sad. I'm worried about him.

PolterGoose Wed 29-Jan-14 10:42:51

Perch I am sorry to hear about your ds, as someone whose ds was (and can still be) a persistent hitter, nipper, poker, etc, I learned that it's best to leave school behaviour to be dealt with at school, punishing at home for us just raised anxiety and led to worse behaviour and meant home became as hard as school. The key thing is to work out why he is hitting so you can work on strategies with him. I've found that the absolute best way to reduce aggression at school is to ensure home life is as calm, easy and demand free as possible, then ds has the reserves to cope at school IYSWIM? I know it's really hard and mortifying, but it can get better smile

Perchkin Wed 29-Jan-14 11:11:19

I hear what you are saying Polter, but I just don't think I can ignore my DS being violent or agressive sad. The other child just winds him up and up and up and up. He knows all the buttons to press and my DS has been mostly reacting verbally, and getting upset having a mini melt down... On this occasion the other DC had been pulling another DC's hair and pinching her - so my DS got cross and hit him - in the eye.....

This of course comes after my DS had had to watch a film at school the day before and had a mega mega down all night.
So yes I know there are good reasons why it happened. And he does have a lot of anger (we are starting the Heubner book tonight!).

And I know you are right about home life needing to be calm. I was pretty calm and collected talking to him about it but yes I did go on about how wrong it was and how very disappointed I am in him, and said he would have his current favourite things taken away for a fortnight sad.
I will do my very best tonight to ensure he has as stress free an evening as possible. Dreading picking him up and finding how his day has gone though.

We had such a good week last week. I knew it wouldn't last.

PolterGoose Wed 29-Jan-14 11:23:58

Perch clearly school aren't doing what they should, it just seems a shame to me for him to be punished for something he doesn't yet have the skills to do differently, I know it's really hard, honestly, I've been there, still am to some extent, ds has a similarly provocative child in his class, and I'm not saying you're wrong, just offering an alternative. I still dread pick up so fingers crossed things are better today flowers

Perchkin Wed 29-Jan-14 11:39:03

I know what you are saying polter. I do feel bad for punishing him for something he can't currently help sad.

I need to think this through and come up with something more appropriate in the future. I need to plan my response and how we will deal with this.

I've spoken with school this morning and they are going to do some work with the whole class on behaviour and kindness and playing nicely. And tomorrow I have an appointment to speak with the teacher who was present at the film incident and who wouldn't let him leave the room.

DS and school seem all encompassing at the moment.

zzzzz Wed 29-Jan-14 11:39:04

I have zero Tolerence for violence and nasty ness. That doesn't mean I punnished it savagely, just that for me it is a bottom line thing. That doesn't mean I don't have a very growly boy (ds2 not 1!!!) or that we don't have our share of incedents.

Ds2 is calmer now (8) and ds1 does a funny slow motion hit or head grinds. They all understand that WE set the rules for our family. We discuss what it would be like if we all just whacked each other all the time. They not like it, so have bought in for the most part to being gentle, and kind.

This is what I would like our home to be like

www.montessorianswers.com/myth-discipline.html

zzzzz Wed 29-Jan-14 11:43:24

Ooh isn't this good

If your plan is for one year, plant rice;
If your plan is for ten years, plant trees;
If your plan is for a hundred years, Educate children.
Confucius

PolterGoose Wed 29-Jan-14 11:44:39

zzzzz love it, it fits extremely well with Ross Greene's 'collaborative problem solving' technique in 'The Explosive Child'.

To be fair, none of us want our children to behave aggressively or nastily, but it takes time to address those behaviours in an anxious child who hasn't yet fully embraced the skills they need to behave more pro-socially.

PolterGoose Wed 29-Jan-14 11:45:04

Live the second one too smile

PolterGoose Wed 29-Jan-14 11:45:19

Love not live

zzzzz Wed 29-Jan-14 11:46:59

Typo virus!

Perchkin Wed 29-Jan-14 11:51:17

smile

Perchkin Wed 29-Jan-14 11:58:09

One section in particular from that Montessori link really rang true. When we talk about anything he has done wrong, DS does sometimes indignantly say "But I said sorry".

Food for thought there "zzzzzz*.

zzzzz Wed 29-Jan-14 12:01:38

It's harder than just punishing though. I often find it exhausting. We have a going to bed issue that isn't fixing. I know what I need to do but come 8pm I just feel shattered.

A lot of ds1s issues would be much reduced if I wasn't so lazy so tired. It's annoying......more coffee.

PolterGoose Wed 29-Jan-14 12:22:01

Perch I was just thinking back to when ds was at his worst, he was hitting out every day to some degree, this was pre-dx, and I was imposing sanctions at home every day, it didn't work, but I think I felt I needed to do something, to show some control and authority, but it got to a point where he was just a very unhappy child at school and home, he never got a break from it all. It was when I stopped that we could begin to work on skills and learning. I can't remember how old or what dx your ds has, but this isn't a quick fix, my ds is 10.7 now and we've made tons of progress but his instinctive response is to lash out, it's a lot better though.

lougle Wed 29-Jan-14 12:50:12

Quick hijack, incredibly rude of me. I have a thread in SN children - see SALT at 3 pm. Can anyone read/respond..I'LL love you forever thanks

StarlightMcKingsThree Wed 29-Jan-14 12:58:52
autumnsmum Wed 29-Jan-14 12:59:15

Anyone fancy sharing some lindor extra dark truffles that sort of fell into my online shop?

moosemama Wed 29-Jan-14 13:01:54

Perchin flowers We were told by the Ed Psych and ds's old ASD inclusion teacher not to punish at home for things that happen at school. I remember being soooo relieved, as it had been such a struggle and it felt like someone else was finally taking responsibility for the part of the day when he wasn't with me.

I did stop and it made a big difference. We always have 'the discussion' and talk through how he could handle things better next time and that he knows I expect better behaviour than that - no-matter what the provocation, but consequences are for school to set for things that happen because they are failing to support him properly. That said, we did used to work with the school to help them set appropriate consequences that he could handle, as many of the standard school consequences would have just wound him up even more.

Ds1 says "But I said sorry." as well. We've been having lots of discussions recently about it not counting if you don't mean you are really sorry or if you say it teenager stylee "So-REE!" Of course then I get, well you told me to say it and I have to say it whether I'm really sorry or not or I just get into more trouble ...

My big thing with ds at the moment is the importance of respect, for me, for his teachers, for other pupil/children and for himself. I sense this is going to be yet another long haul.

... agree with zzzzz it is exhausting. Far moreso than just giving a consequence and of course we often have to do both.

I wussed out of trying to fight him to get him to do his French homework properly last night. I was just too flipping exhausted. Luckily dh came home at the right moment and dealt with it, but it still wasn't done to the standard I - and I presume his teacher - would expect.

lougle Wed 29-Jan-14 13:02:01

Star - done, and hilarious. NOW more serious stuff - this may be a sanity or insanity situation. My thread grin

StarlightMcKingsThree Wed 29-Jan-14 13:02:52

Where is it?

moosemama Wed 29-Jan-14 13:03:13

Star - you're a big kid.

Lougle, I will go and read your thread, but doubt I can help as I'm not great with SALT stuff.

StarlightMcKingsThree Wed 29-Jan-14 13:51:01
ouryve Wed 29-Jan-14 13:57:34

We don't punish at home, either. I even had to put a stop to bringing refused work home, because he'd refuse it at home, too, and not get chance to unwind - and poor DS2 wouldn't get his share of attention while all mine was taken up with managing the refusal.

We've been doing some Huebner temper stuff, this afternoon and have just rather inaccurately "discovered" Pi, using my tape measure and some old coins grin All because he was tripping over radius and diameter, when we were looking at some online maths stuff, yesterday - I don't think he's done it at school, but had encountered the terms in his coin books, but wasn't so sure about them. So, after straightening that out, this morning, I decided to extend him, this afternoon. It also gave us a chance to do a bit of line graph practice, as that's something else he was a bit hasty with, yesterday.

Thinking I might have to make tomorrow deliberately boring for him, or else I'll never get him back to school. He's actually been asking me for the sort of stuff he goes out of his way to avoid at school, though.

hazeyjane Wed 29-Jan-14 14:44:18

the whole house is awash with snot and drool.

ouryve Wed 29-Jan-14 14:46:32

delightful, hazey grin

Talking of snot and drool, it's nearly time to go pick up DS2. It's just taken me 40 minutes to scan that bloody DLA form to pdf. My coffee's cold and I still have a sink full of lunch dishes.

ouryve Wed 29-Jan-14 14:48:17

That would be more entertaining if my Internet wasn't so slow, starlight!

youarewinning Wed 29-Jan-14 15:48:59

Hi all. Sally - great costume and glad you have a date.

zzzz hope DD hospital appointment went well.

Perch - I have just come through that horrid stage of wanting to punish etc and fighting the urge because it feels natural. I have to say I followed polters advice and have reduced demands at home dramatically and DS has the option at school of going to ICT suite at lunchtime when he cant cope. Its been 6 months now without any hitting, pinching or the worst biting shock

lougle - off to read you SALT thread as we had our initial appointment at 1.30 today grin Can caht you you on there instead of starting a whole new one if thats ok?

youarewinning Wed 29-Jan-14 15:51:11

Am just imagining Hazeys house with lime green walls and carpet - it's not attractive!

PolterGoose Wed 29-Jan-14 15:57:09

Aaaaarrrgggh bloody home time (have put this on my ridiculously long thread so it doesn't disappear but putting here to share too) I need [brew and cake

Teacher came out to see me after school, to say IEP needs reviewing, did I want to leave him to it? Err, no. I want me and ds involved. Ds came out at this point and walked off toward the gate. I said I'd like the OT target incorporated and it was a shame we missed her visit on Monday as ds was off, teacher knew nothing, hasn't seen care plan which was sent to Senco. Arranged to meet next week. I am beyond pissed off. Ds held it together until we got to the car, as I was strapping him in he grabbed 2 large handfuls of my hair and refused to let go, I had to prise his fingers off hurting him in the process, he just would not let go. That is why I ask teachers not to speak to me after school. My head hurts and ds has apologised and said he doesn't know why he did it.

PolterGoose Wed 29-Jan-14 15:58:15

youare I'm glad it's working for you, wish if had the confidence to do it sooner. That's quite a fantastic result, 6 months shock

youarewinning Wed 29-Jan-14 16:12:45

my SALT thread here

please pop over and help. Feeling kind of relieved its not in my mind iyswim but yet shocked that I've just been told DS will need to learn social interaction by rules.

polter all your advice has really helped me. DS was never really uber violent - more of a withdrawer with an internal misery iyswim? What I have to fight now is that of course DS is happy because I tailor his life around what he wants/ needs.

ouryve Wed 29-Jan-14 16:43:59

DS2 appears to be asking me to take him to look at the hairdryerhmm

How do I know? He's trying to pull me upstairs and has started making the hairdryer noises he made when he was playing with it, this morning. Like the shower, he is equally fascinated by it and terrified of it.

Walk home was interesting. Previous calm boy turned into uber rigid and argumentative boy after approx 30 seconds of icy wind in his face.

zzzzz Wed 29-Jan-14 17:20:21

Poor polt and poor little hair puller. No advice but brew and [crochet]

Oncologist was kind and dd3 spoke to he which was helpful. We now wait two weeks for another ultrasound and possible MRI.....hopefully then we go away and get on with our lives. I feel exhausted.

PolterGoose Wed 29-Jan-14 17:37:56

brew and crochet for you too zzzzz lovely to hear she spoke, all this waiting is just horrid.

Galena Wed 29-Jan-14 17:57:32

Looky what we've just picked up... smile

One happy girly!

PolterGoose Wed 29-Jan-14 18:02:00

That is so cool Galena grin

youarewinning Wed 29-Jan-14 18:07:56

Oh wow galena Thats brilliant grin

autumnsmum Wed 29-Jan-14 18:17:32

Galena that is so , so brilliant lovely picture

Galena Wed 29-Jan-14 18:25:51

grin

She is so excited... now we just need the weather to improve! I can't believe that we haven't had to pay a penny, either... it seems somehow wrong.

AliceinWinterWonderland Wed 29-Jan-14 18:38:13

that's excellent Galena!!!

lougle Wed 29-Jan-14 19:13:12

How beautiful!

hazeyjane Wed 29-Jan-14 19:46:51

Lovely picture, Galena.

Just had to force ibuprofen into ds, who is screaming and can't seem to swallow, no wonder he has been so dribbly today. Poor boy.

youarewinning Wed 29-Jan-14 21:15:11

Oh Hazey sad poor DS.

AliceinWinterWonderland Wed 29-Jan-14 21:28:05

Big change today for DS1. I've removed the gate from his bedroom door. The latch was broken and had to be opened with a pencil poked into the opening grin, and as he could open it anyway, I felt it's worth trying to see if he will stay within his boundaries.

So far, the biggest annoyance has been keeping his 4yo brother (DS2) OUT of DS1's room. hmm

The big test will be tonight. I won't sleep much, I suppose, but hopefully even though the visual reminder to stay in his room is gone, he will not decide to wander the house. I'm nervous about this, but have some safety measures in place (latch on kitchen door, very loud and creaky stairs grin right outside my bedroom door, and constant daily routine of coming in to cuddle with mummy in the morning. I'm hoping this will go smoothly. Finger crossed.

ouryve Wed 29-Jan-14 22:44:17

Fab wheels, Galena!

Crossing fingers for you, Alice. Our gates came down, lat summer, when DS2 learnt to climb them, then to open them, in quick succession. We now have a bigger gate, secured with a cable tie on the kitchen doorway, though. It was just all too much with DS2 having free access to everything in the kitchen and bathroom. It wasn't us who took the gate off the bedroom, mind. It was DS1 in the middle of a rage grin

Galena Thu 30-Jan-14 07:18:11

Hope the night passed peacefully, Alice.

PolterGoose Thu 30-Jan-14 07:41:50

Hoping hazey and Alice had peaceful nights

AliceinWinterWonderland Thu 30-Jan-14 07:48:59

Well, what part of it that he was asleep was peaceful. grin Up at 3am gathering school uniform, insisting it was time to get up and get ready to go. hmm It took ages to get him back to sleep. But no actual wandering around the house, so I'll consider that a positive result.

autumnsmum Thu 30-Jan-14 08:01:09

Oh Alice ! Dd2 has got on her school bus with her pyjama top under her dress as it's a sp sch hopefully they won't be to phased

ouryve Thu 30-Jan-14 10:07:11

I've put DS1's Lego Robot top on, today. I'm taking him to see some robots!

Spoke to the HT, again, this morning and she can see the difference in his body language. Said she met our LA case officer this week and the conversation was interesting. The word hopeful was used, and not by the HT.hmm

autumnsmum Thu 30-Jan-14 10:34:24

Ouryve I really hope you get that school for ds 1 .where are the robots? As I put on another thread dd2 has a vast wardrobe but constantly wants to wear an d dress of dd1 s

hazeyjane Thu 30-Jan-14 11:19:43

Ds is sporting a monster top - dribble soaked, an infected looking spot on his cheek and the cough of an old French man who lives on Gauloise.

There was no sleep last night. I am wrecked.

autumnsmum Thu 30-Jan-14 11:22:07

Oh hazey poor ds and you I'm sending you coffee and what a lovely picture

zzzzz Thu 30-Jan-14 11:25:05

I have eaten three ring doughnuts "because the box was making the cupboard all mess". My Mother is entering one of her awkward phases (ie she is depressed/grumpy/unkind), the usually last weeks. [sigh]

zzzzz Thu 30-Jan-14 11:26:34

Or even

Add message | Report | Message poster zzzzz Thu 30-Jan-14 11:25:05

I have eaten three ring doughnuts "because the box was making the cupboard all messy". My Mother is entering one of her awkward phases (ie she is depressed/grumpy/unkind), they usually last weeks. [sigh]

January sucks doesn't it?

autumnsmum Thu 30-Jan-14 11:31:28

Zzzz apart from dd1s birthday January can take a hike dps depression has worsened and he has a chest infection and what is going on with this rain ? I have taken refuge with Linder truffles

PolterGoose Thu 30-Jan-14 11:33:55

brew and cake all round I think

Me and ds were discussing the time of year this morning, it's nearly February, the spring flowers will soon start to bloom and we are especially excited about frogspawn. February is a more hopeful month I find flowers

Just found out my newish neighbour works as a scribe/exam support for kids with SENs, how bizarre, in our little cluster of 7 cottages we have a social worker, a youth worker, an adult guidance worker, SEN exam person and me doing what I do, very odd confused

autumnsmum Thu 30-Jan-14 11:37:51

Polter how funny ! Ds birthday is on Sunday and then in our house it feels like spring is on the way

AliceinWinterWonderland Thu 30-Jan-14 11:49:50

I'll happily take the brew but I'm going to be good and avoid the cake. I've started Slimming world, so I'm having an early lunch (since I had a very very early (even by my standards) breakfast. I'm tucking into rice and steamed veg with soy sauce (my particular favourite sauce). Yum. I even had a small portion of white chocolate last night and managed to keep it within my allotted "syns" for the day easily. Feeling very positive about this. I am determined to keep this as part of my "do things for me" approach that I started this month.

Polter that is odd that you've gathered that particular mix in the area! But probably helpful, right? Means the neighbours should be quite understanding of any issues that might crop up.

Galena Thu 30-Jan-14 12:27:54

Oooh, brew and cake

We had a grim night last night for some reason. She wouldn't go to sleep till about 9:30pm and then woke at 3:40 after a bad dream (School had run out of stickers!!). Then she started coughing. So after inhalers she went back to sleep but I was awake by then. Finally got back to sleep just before the alarm went off.

Physio today and she was messing around - a sign of tiredness. Took her to school and she was in a really odd mood, grumpy and quiet. Will be interesting to see how she gets on.

hazeyjane Thu 30-Jan-14 12:35:37

aaagh, now ds has fallen asleep on me, but I can't move because everytime I do, he winces and starts screaming.

Someone pass me a coffee!

Galena Thu 30-Jan-14 12:39:15

brew brew brew and cake or biscuit

hazeyjane Thu 30-Jan-14 12:42:49

all of it, thankyousmile

PolterGoose Thu 30-Jan-14 12:49:14

brew and cake from me too hazey

Sounds like you need it too Galena brew and cake

zzzzz Thu 30-Jan-14 13:34:52

Go to sleep hazey

ouryve Thu 30-Jan-14 13:39:14

The robots exhibition is at the Palace Green library in Durham. It's pretty fabulous, but DS1 wanted to get around fairly quickly, of course.

There were replicas of lots of TV and film robots, and Kryten's actual original costume. Tall! He was fascinated by a lot of the old Japanese toys and posters.

ouryve Thu 30-Jan-14 13:40:59

I might have a blueberry muffin spare for you, Hazey!

autumnsmum Thu 30-Jan-14 13:59:05

Ds would love a robots exhibition

autumnsmum Thu 30-Jan-14 14:11:26

Hmm dd2 is watching pingu and a whole episode seems to be about brewing moonshine!

hazeyjane Thu 30-Jan-14 14:17:34

I am no good at sleeping in the day (disco nap!) I wake up feeling like crap for the rest of the day.

I extricated myself, made the beds, cooked a casserole and painted a poster for a fundraising day I have organised for our local portage service.

Ds woke up and we are now having a cuddle whilst he drinks some chocolate almond milk.......yes, that's right ALMOND milk!!!

I would love an exhibition about robots!

Pingu is seriously subversive.

hazeyjane Thu 30-Jan-14 14:18:05

Thanks for the blueberry muffin, Ouryve!

autumnsmum Thu 30-Jan-14 14:21:29

Hazey you are officially amazing bed and casserole making is brilliant and well done to mini hazey for the milk

PolterGoose Thu 30-Jan-14 14:34:06

I might try chocolate almond milk with ds, genius grin

I love Pingu, when ds was at nursery for a few weeks he would only answer to 'Pingu' confused

stillstandingatthebusstop Thu 30-Jan-14 17:27:54

Can I add my vote to January being a tough month please. My DH seems very low - he always does is at this time of year.

Sorry to hear of lack of sleep and poorly children. Apologies for not keeping up but is DS1 out of school ouryve? Robot exhibition sounds good.

You know I said I had had to complain about transport again the other day? They have replaced the driver shock. Hopefully we wil get a service that runs on time now (no more freezing at the bus stop - I may have to name change). I am feeling quite guilty sad which is daft.

Off to drop DS3 at ASD youth group now

autumnsmum Thu 30-Jan-14 19:05:08

Not sn related but does anyone else have problems finding nice boys birthday cards ? Ds is nine on Sunday and isn't the least bit sporty .i ended up buying him a horrible histories card that says grandson . All the cards were either sport related or really plain

PolterGoose Thu 30-Jan-14 19:30:57

I've bought the last few cards from Amazon for ds as I was having the same problem.

ouryve Thu 30-Jan-14 19:56:29

It's been such a dark month, stillstanding. Pretty hard on anyone who is sensitive to that.

I've had DS1 out of school for a few days to re-boot after a pretty horrendous term at school, so far. We're trying a day back in, tomorrow. He's quite keen on seeing his friends again, but has been a lot more anxious and demand avoidant, today, knowing that tomorrow will be a school day. He's been so much nicer to be around, but I'm looking forward to a day alone.

autumn I've found birthday cards harder to buy since Clinton closed down. DS1's particularly hard, with a December birthday, as the birthday card range is halved in some shops. I often end up in Paperchase, as they have a good selection of just plain quirky cards and M&S does quite a good range, now. That said, there was one year when DS1 refused to write cards for anyone, all year, (plus DS2 was shredding any card he could get his hands on) so I got him cheap ones from card factory, not overly caring about whether it was a perfect match!

autumnsmum Thu 30-Jan-14 20:12:03

Feel for you with a December birthday it was all valentine cards today . Next year il Be more organised

hazeyjane Thu 30-Jan-14 20:20:24

Good luck with school tomorrow, Ouryve.

Dh also down at the moment, he works outside and the days are long and relentlessly cold and damp.

I feel down too, but I think it is lack of sleep, and just having a feeling of being on a bit of a treadmill.

autumnsmum Thu 30-Jan-14 20:26:41

Oh Hazey sorry to hear your down your having a really hard tr with illness and your la really haven't helped have they

hazeyjane Thu 30-Jan-14 21:02:58

and ds has just projectile vomited as I was carrying him down the stairs, it's going to be a long night!

PolterGoose Thu 30-Jan-14 21:19:25

Good luck tomorrow ouryve

Oh no hazey sad hope you get some sleep and ds gets well soon

autumnsmum Fri 31-Jan-14 08:10:13

Hazey and ouryve hope your days go well and hazey I hope your ds improves . Bad night last night dd2 didn't go off till midnight was up for an hour at 3.30 then had to be got up at 7.30 for schoolbus

hazeyjane Fri 31-Jan-14 08:15:22

brew for you autumnsmum.

brew for me too - ds up until 5.30, I managed a full hour and a half asleep, fortunately I have nothing to do today except a pile of pukey washing and cuddle a cranky boy.

PolterGoose Fri 31-Jan-14 08:28:21

brew for you both, hope you get some rest today

autumnsmum Fri 31-Jan-14 08:38:53

Oh Hazey pukey clothes are the worst .thanks polter .something dd1 said has been playing on my mind she asked the other day if ds has a statement for secondary I said no and she replied mum you know if he doesn't get help he'll get eaten alive . Way to worry me

PolterGoose Fri 31-Jan-14 09:12:19

Your dd1 is very wise smile

zzzzz Fri 31-Jan-14 09:19:00

Morning all.

The Chinese symbol for "net" is cool isn't it?^^^^<<<
Are the other two "mum" and you just write it twic for "mums"? grin
Fascinating. I am rubbish at languages. Dh is not a native English speaker, and after 24 years I can still only say a few words (and those not for polite company)!!

PolterGoose Fri 31-Jan-14 09:32:41

zzzzz I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about confused

autumnsmum Fri 31-Jan-14 09:36:17

Morning zzzz polter I was thinking is there a way to find out what secondary schools a borough will send a child to in case there are any suitable schools in other boroughs .there is a unit for high functioning autistic children in the borough but they only take three children a year and they have to have statements

PolterGoose Fri 31-Jan-14 09:40:06

I don't know autumn it might be worth starting a thread in SN Children. Is your ds Y5? We've only got one school in our town so am going to try that first as it has a very good SEN reputation and is small. Is ds getting any support at primary?

autumnsmum Fri 31-Jan-14 09:50:49

Polter I think I will in our borough there is huge pressure on school places and the la is very strict on catchment areas . I applied for the school I want for dd1 and didn't get it . He gets some support he has a laptop and a social skills group and he sees a kids company therapist . The school also isn't to huge we have the largest primary in Britain in our borough . Dd2 s school isn't really an option as it specialises in severe autism with learning difficulties

lougle Fri 31-Jan-14 10:00:50

Morning all.

DD2 was awkward this morning. We ended up having a row. I said to her 'if school says you're fine, why are you saying it's tricky?' She said 'I can't decide if it's tricky - my head is just too full of this and that and this and that. I'm just too excited about Dragonflies.'

ouryve Fri 31-Jan-14 10:07:06

I am drinking a hot cup of tea, sitting down.

I have the radio on at an audible volume.

When the heating has done its thing to the bathroom, I am going to run myself a deep, hot bath.

I might hide the phone.

zzzzz Fri 31-Jan-14 10:09:36

lougle a child experiencing the kind of "tricky" you are considering is not going to be able to identify let alone articulate what that "tricky" is. You may as well ask her advice on the emotional issues in a marriage. How does she know "why" school says one thing and she another? The professional nt adults don't know.

She likes dragonflies, she eats breakfast, she does school.....the rest is not her bag.

polt the logo top left has gone Chinese character-y, presumably for Chinese New Year. I think it says "mumsnet"

moosemama Fri 31-Jan-14 10:15:05

I just tried to read back and catch up, but failed hopelessly.

Had a migraine all day yesterday and typically, dh was out of town and not back till the middle of the night. hmm Ended up ordering pizza for the dcs as just couldn't stand up and cook, then ended up eating some myself, which wasn't great as it was supposed to be my fast day.

My joy at having a child free house was shortlived. Didn't even last a week. Dd has been a right grump all week and really tired compared to her usual bouncy self and this morning when dh went to get her up, she was burning up, couldn't stand and was crying saying everything/everywhere hurt. Sure enough temp of 40.2 even though the thermometer wasn't in there for long enough as she wasn't cooperating. Did it under arm and it was still 40.1, so suspect it was probably quite a lot higher.

No-one to have her for me while I did the school run, dh did-one pretty sharply muttering about back to back meetings (karma got him though, as his sharp exit meant he forgot his bag, complete with laptop and all yesterday's meeting notes and didn't pick up my text reminding him till he was on the train). I had already fed the puppy (rather than feeding while I do the school run to keep him quiet) as I was supposed to be going to see ds2 get his star of the week award in assembly (poor ds2, it's always him that loses out and he's such a patient, helpful lad sad) so dogs were going in the car - rang Mum, she was in London helping dsis move house yesterday and didn't get home till gone midnight, so was still in bed exhausted.

Ended up bundling dd up in her pjs and slippers and taking her with us in her old pushchair. Good job I didn't take it to Womens' Aid last weekend as I'd planned.

All this after I'd already had a blazing row with ds1, who went on Minecraft before school - without permission - and then wouldn't switch it off, despite being told 3 times to put it away and help me, as I was packing his bag, weighing out his cookery ingredients and packing them safely (those eggs are never going to make it in one piece) and trying to sort the dogs out while getting myself ready to go out. angry

I will be so pleased to see the back of January.

Apologies for the self-centred whinge.

PolterGoose Fri 31-Jan-14 10:16:46

Thanks zzzzz it all looks as normal on phone

lougle my ds is 4 years older than your dd2, he can't explain why he finds school 'tricky', he tells the teacher and told the OT everything is 'fine', but it isn't, I know it isn't because of the behaviour he demonstrates at home which I know is directly related to school because he doesn't behave in the same way at weekends and holidays. My ds has an immense and rich vocabulary but he cannot explain why he feels as he does. We have to interpret both from what we see and what our children say, which is why recording and looking at patterns is so important.

autumnsmum Fri 31-Jan-14 10:18:18

Oh moose you poor thing there was obviously a karmic reason you hadn't got rid of the pushchair

PolterGoose Fri 31-Jan-14 10:18:19

moose brew and calorie-free cake

lougle Fri 31-Jan-14 10:29:49

I know, but I'm angry. I'm angry that she tells them it's all fine. I'm angry that she won't eat breakfast then she'll go to school and say 'I didn't have breakfast', which while completely true, makes it seem that I'm neglecting her, rather than that she sat and stared at her bowl and wouldn't eat it. I'm angry that she can hold it all in there and I have to deal with it all here. And more than that I'm sad. Sad that I can't help her and I can't get help for her.

It's totally unjustified, I've no right to be angry, let alone with her, but I am.

ouryve Fri 31-Jan-14 10:32:08

I snipped it for people on phones

PolterGoose Fri 31-Jan-14 10:33:01

It's completely justified, despite my ds having a dx and numerous professionals having advised school, they still don't see it. I have to deal with the fallout. It's crap.

PolterGoose Fri 31-Jan-14 10:33:44

ouryve thanks, now I get zzzzz's post grin

ouryve Fri 31-Jan-14 10:34:20

if you can see the pics on phones that is!

moosemama Fri 31-Jan-14 10:39:54

Thanks autumn, but I'm wondering what truly evil deed I must have done to deserve a December and January like the ones I've just had. I must have some very bad Karma at the moment. hmm

Thanks for the calorie-free cake Polter. I'm on the verge of giving up and starting again next week, but I know I'll hate myself if I do.

Lougle, I was saying exactly the same things about ds1 and school last week. I was angry and frustrated at the school and at the situation, but my heart was breaking that he was in such a state, no-one at school could see it and I was powerless to help - and that's with a ds who has a dx and is in supposedly fantastic ASD aware indie school with a pretty tight statement.

You're not angry with her, you're - justifiably angry with the situation, same here and yet I still ended up shouting at ds this morning. We're only human and sometimes we just can't hold it in anymore - unfortunately we don't get to choose when and at/to who it escapes.

It stinks, it shouldn't be like this, we should be listened to and taken seriously, after all, who knows our dcs better than we do. As I'm always saying to my dcs when they're amazed I knew what they were up to - "I know you better than anyone else in the world - I've known you since before you were born."

It's Friday and the end of the month. Give yourself the day off - use the weekend to re-group, take some time and think about your next step. You/we won't stop fighting, because it's what we do. We love the very bones of them and that's why we do it, so even when the odds seem insurmountable we will keep going, even though some days it genuinely feels like we can't.

flowers brew cake

moosemama Fri 31-Jan-14 10:40:46

Polter just said all that much more succinctly than me. blush

autumnsmum Fri 31-Jan-14 10:46:51

Moose your December and January have been truly , truly apalling

moosemama Fri 31-Jan-14 10:53:41

Looks like we're going into February the same way. hmm

autumnsmum Fri 31-Jan-14 11:23:04

Moose a bugbear of mine is people who don't suffer from migraines saying things like I've got a migraine so I could only spend three hours out shopping not four . What you and others on here suffer with is utter debillitating

zzzzz Fri 31-Jan-14 11:29:15

Of course you are angry lougle . It isn't fair. I get so tired of being characterised as the "late", "disorganised", "unhelpful" one, because we ARE fucking unreliable. The fact that I do more mentally, physically and emotionally than a mum with a three day old baby, is never ever ever recognised.
I took my daughter to an oncologist on Wednesday, and I still had to deal with my mother being ratty, comments about attendance, comments about being late, comments about supper being disorganised......it's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair. <and lougle I think you are brilliant>

StarlightMcKingsThree Fri 31-Jan-14 11:40:11

Hi all,

Baby DS' playgroup celebrated Chinese New Year by putting tealeaves in the water play.

StarlightMcKingsThree Fri 31-Jan-14 11:44:25

Sorry. Just saw Lougles post.

Why do you think you have no right to be angry? You have every right. Don't turn in on yourself. Make sure you of all people express your feelings as they are meant to be expressed and don't complicate things by reprimanding yourself. There is enough complexity as it if.

StarlightMcKingsThree Fri 31-Jan-14 11:50:35

This morning I popped into the kids rooms and then went down stairs.

5 minutes later ds went into my bedroom and in his clumsiness was so noise he woke the baby.

I was cross. I asked him what he thought he was doing, why he was so noisy and that I was cross with him for waking the baby. 6 minutes later of a sad face he managed to come to me and explain 'I didn't know where you were so I looked in your bedroom'.

I was cross again. He should have known where I was. DD did. She is AWARE.

So he isn't aware, he was clumsy, he was noisy and he couldn't give me a good reason why he did it until much later and it made me cross.

ALL of his 'wrong' actions are directly related to his disability, but I'm a fecking human mum of 3 young kids trying to do the morning routine to get them to school on time.

StarlightMcKingsThree Fri 31-Jan-14 11:53:33

Not an excuse and I'll try and do better next time, this evening, whenever. I love him more than the world and he has to live with his disability for longer and more relentlessly than I do, but if I felt guilty about it I would become even less productive I fear and everything would become more overwhelming than it is already.

StarlightMcKingsThree Fri 31-Jan-14 11:54:59

Moose YOu must have used up your bad luck by now!?

Sorry.

lougle Fri 31-Jan-14 11:59:24

zzzzz - an oncologist...what have I missed? Are you ok?

(Thanks for all the encouragement, everyone)

StarlightMcKingsThree Fri 31-Jan-14 12:01:28

Oh I missed that too zzzzz. Hope it's just a routine check of some kind.

lougle Fri 31-Jan-14 12:05:34

I am just so rubbish with general threads like this. I need distinct threads with clear titles blush

Perhaps DD2 is taking after me in some way? shock

PolterGoose Fri 31-Jan-14 12:10:51

lougle no one is expected to keep up with it all, you can just pop in, rant, and go, or sit around supping brew

zzzzz Fri 31-Jan-14 12:17:58

Sorry so tide up in my own rubbish I forget to give background for those that miss the highlight hmm.

Dd woke up with a lump on her spine Jan2nd, about an inch/2 grapes. Looks benign cyst but she is epileptic and weaning off her meds, so anaesthetic to remove difficult. Doesn't need removing hopefully as they say it won't impact. She is waking multiple times a night because it hurts/tickles/she is sleeping on the lump. We are waiting 2 weeks for ultrasound and MRI, first ultrasound looked "good". The sceptical part of me thinks Drs don't think "more ultrasound and MRI" unless there is a possibility of it not being "good".

sad

She is so beautiful, sometimes I want to run away with my children and stick my hands over my ears and shout "la la la" until the world goes away.

StarlightMcKingsThree Fri 31-Jan-14 12:22:30

Oh zzzzz how worrying for you. Most likely nothing from the sounds of it, but I'd personally rather 'not worry' about no lump than a lump.

lougle Fri 31-Jan-14 12:38:33

Oh zzzzz - I can possibly help a little there (used to be a neuro nurse).

Lumps can be cancerous (malignant) or non-cancerous (benign). However, people only hear 'cancer' or 'not cancer' and the trouble is that depending on where the lump is, the presence of a lump itself is a problem, regardless of whether it's 'cancer'.

In brains, lumps are generally unhelpful, no matter the origin, because the skull is a fixed, tight, space, so any lump of any sort will take up valuable 'brain' room.

In abdominal cavities, a benign lump can sit quite happily for some time because there's lots of space and the organs don't mind sharing it with a harmless bit of extra tissue.

Lumps on backs are somewhere in the middle. If they are benign (non-cancerous) then they are often just a nuisance. However, some benign lumps can still cause trouble. If the lump is just sitting in the fat/muscle/flesh and is benign, then it's a cosmetic issue. However, if the lump had originated in or near the spine, its presence can cause nerve compression.

If your DD is only bothered by the lump at night, then that's reassuring. If she doesn't have any nerve symptoms (ie. leg weakness or altered sensation) that's also really reassuring.

However, any surgeon worth their salt will want loads of information about any lump they are thinking of removing - where does it attach, what is it attached to, what sort of lump is it, etc.

Have they biopsied it? If they haven't, that's reassuring that they don't think it's sinister. If they have, then that's also reassuring because you'll get a definitive 'this is what it is...'

If they seriously thought it was sinister, you wouldn't be waiting two weeks for MRI - My niece went to the doctors on Christmas Eve and had a CT the same day, despite everything shutting down for Christmas.

moosemama Fri 31-Jan-14 12:44:25

zzzzz, I had missed this too. Sorry. You must be so worried.

If it helps, I would think if they were at all suspicious after one ultrasound they would go straight to MRI and skip the second ultrasound altogether.

I will be thinking of you and your dd and sending lots of positive vibes. flowers

moosemama Fri 31-Jan-14 12:46:15

Sorry, took a phonecall before pressing post. Lougle is far more reassuring than I was. I just know from my own neuro issues that if they are seriously worried they find a way to get you in within 24/48 hours for MRIs.

zzzzz Fri 31-Jan-14 13:35:27

Thank you lougle moose everyone I know all that logically. My MechEng degree was "medical engineering" as apposed to automotive or whatever (this only really means you spend part of your final year in hospital and maths revolves around virus spread and tumour growth). I get it all really, I just feel scared anyway. confused. I think "oncology" is just scary.

lougle Fri 31-Jan-14 13:39:52

I think you're absolutely rational in being scared, too, zzzzz. Especially if you know a little too much about it all. thanks

moosemama Fri 31-Jan-14 13:42:40

Of course you do zzzzz, I would be exactly the same - we all would, I think. As you said, just the word 'oncology' is enough to strike fear into your heart.

NoHaudinMaWheest Fri 31-Jan-14 14:03:10

zzzzz I say too its natural to be scared especially when dd has other serious issues. Do you have a date for MRI etc?

moose you have had a terrible couple of months. (((hugs))) and hope it improves soon.

Got my appointment for chest pain clinic today for Tuesday.
Discussion with DD's psychologist yesterday suggests that there is a lot of politics going on between CAMHS and SS and Ds is caught in the middle of it. If I don't engage in a lot of prodding and battling it could seriously affect his transition to adult services and he only has 8months to go.

I think I will start a thread in SN children to see if anyone has any wisdom. Now I have to go and retrieve a bag I left in a shop yesterday - that's how on the ball I am at the moment. And its pouring rain.

autumnsmum Fri 31-Jan-14 14:09:00

Zzzz I can only agree with everyone else the word oncologist is scary . No Hayden glad to hear you have your appt sorry to hear about the politics with cahms

zzzzz Fri 31-Jan-14 14:15:39

lougle "a little too much" is about right, the emphasis being on the "little". It was nearly 20 years ago and I was far more interested in neonatal hearing tests....a different life. grin

AliceinWinterWonderland Fri 31-Jan-14 15:13:48

zzzzz I agree, it's a scary word. I'd say try not to worry at this point, but seriously, I know that's impossible. Make sure you don't spend time googling. Google is never good with stuff like this. Thinking of you.

PolterGoose Fri 31-Jan-14 15:57:42

I need to rant. I've posted this on my long thread for safekeeping, but need an audience blush

Picked up ds, he was absolutely furious, physically just about holding it together, clenched fists, aggressive tone. Stormed off and refused to hold my hand, walked across a road, I said it wasn't fair him been angry with me as I hadn't done anything wrong, so it must be a school thing, eventually worked out that at assembly a group he was in last year was praised for their good work raising money for charity, 4 of them got called up and he was not. He was in that group through all the planning, design etc of the items they were to sell, the only thing he didn't do was the actual selling at sports day, because he doesn't attend sports day as it is too stressful (whole day affair). I suggested to ds maybe it's because they know he doesn't like being praised, perhaps that was why, but, really, they could and should have spoken to him. He then had an argument with 2 boys after assembly and nobody even noticed. I am fucking fuming.

He has been at school 3 days this week. I got physically attacked on Wednesday and today this. I am going to email the HT when I've calmed down.

lougle Fri 31-Jan-14 16:00:51

That is a serious oversight, at best, Polter - I'd be enraged too.

zzzzz Fri 31-Jan-14 16:05:26

I would ask (and I DO NOT mean nicely) that they recognise the work your child did and his contribution to the stall. That they explain that they had "called him up" because they thought he wouldn't like it and that they have a certificate/prize/whatever in the office for him.

Gloves off. That is disgusting.

PolterGoose Fri 31-Jan-14 16:08:40

It is disgusting. Ds is scoffing in front of Doctor Who and I'm sitting in tears because I have just about had enough. But at the same time I want to gather a bit more evidence before I lay my cards on the table.

zzzzz Fri 31-Jan-14 16:16:10

"You've got to know when to hold them,
Know when to fold them,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.

Never count your money when you're sitting at the table, there'll be time enough for counting when the dealings done."

Should be our theme tune on here

m.youtube.com/watch?v=kn481KcjvMo&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dkn481KcjvMo

autumnsmum Fri 31-Jan-14 16:18:55

Polter that is dreadful it is disgraceful he was treated that way

ouryve Fri 31-Jan-14 16:22:25

Polter sad I'm furious on his behalf.

We've survived today, anyhow. DS1 started off the day grumbling, but once break was over with, he's enjoyed himself and been happily ruffling his friends' hair!

We've been in over half an hour and ds2 has finally removed his outdoor clothes and come down to join us. I think he's been on a mission!

ouryve Fri 31-Jan-14 18:37:42

New Friday, new thread

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