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Goose & Carrot 8th November

(208 Posts)
SallyBear Fri 08-Nov-13 16:06:41

I'm looking out at the rain lashing against the windows and seriously wondering if its too early for a warming and soothing glass of Shiraz....?

DS3 will be 8 on Sunday and I have my DM and MIL over to have lunch. Wondering how long before they both adopt their pseudo posh telephone voices and talk earnestly about the state of the nation. confused I will be mashing the life out of potatoes trying to envisage that its their heads in the pan! More wine. wine

autumnsmum Fri 08-Nov-13 16:24:42

More wine coming your way ! Mixed week here dd1 was in a play Monday ds school refused on Wednesday but dd2 was photographed for both an individual and class photo at her ss sooooo happy as last year she refused to have one taken and screamed hysterically

SallyBear Fri 08-Nov-13 16:29:42

DS3 came back from school and said 'oh we had the school photos done today' I look at him in horror. He needed a haircut desperately and had lost two bottom teeth and a front tooth was sticking out like Nanny McPhee. 'Don't worry mum, I flattened my hair and cleaned my face. Looks pretty good actually!' The photos though lovely of my gorgeous boy, unfortunately can't hide the tooth that sticks out past his lips or the plastered down hair confused

PolterGoose Fri 08-Nov-13 16:30:18

Happy birthday for ds3 for Sunday Sally cake I suspect you'll be needing a lot of wine

Well done autumn's dd's grin and hope ds's week improved

SallyBear Fri 08-Nov-13 16:46:12

Autumn what was DD1's play about? Is DS ailing or has the school refusal happened before, and yes well done to your DD2 for being photographed. It's never easy....

autumnsmum Fri 08-Nov-13 16:53:14

Thanks for asking everyone she was in the London Shakespeare schools festival doing Romeo and Juliet .ds has a history of school refusal and it's always worse after a break such as half term.happy birthday to your ds mine was eight in february

SummerRain Fri 08-Nov-13 16:53:30

Sally, dd and ds1's school photos were the day they went back to school after their grandfather died last year. With all the upheaval I had completely and utterly forgotten about the damn things, dd had plaits which she'd slept in the night before and her hair was frizzing out of them in a bad way and both of them were scruffy as hell. The damn thing is on my living room wall as I couldn't think of a good excuse not to buy it!

ds2 is still lumpy and itchy and his mood is deteriorating rapidly. Days like this I wish I kept emergency rum in the house wink

TheNinjaGooseIsOnAMission Fri 08-Nov-13 17:23:28

evening smile

I see ouryve made the roundup this week, something about pussies and pom poms? grin

eye unit again for dd3 today with an appointment time that made school impossible <sigh> she didn't cope that well today and got quite stressed and loud, this seems to be becoming the norm. It's great that she is becoming more aware of what's going on around her but not so much when she doesn't like it.

pass the wine sally please!

SallyBear Fri 08-Nov-13 17:32:55

< passes wine to Ninja plus some yummy Lindor chocolate ball thingy >

TheNinjaGooseIsOnAMission Fri 08-Nov-13 17:39:07

ooooooooh choccies!! Thanks smile

NameChange70 Fri 08-Nov-13 17:41:12

A good week here. The only down bit was having to attend two events at the ms school my youngest has now left. It's weird because I am happy with the school for my older child but going in there makes me pissy and twitchy. Literally my chin had some kind of weird twitch going on all day. It's gone today. I will be relieved when he finally moves on to secondary, which is a shame really, but I don't think I'm ever going to shake off that feeling I get.

SallyBear Fri 08-Nov-13 17:49:45

My youngest can't even walk into DS3's ms school. He loathes it after spending two miserable terms in Reception, before moving to his SpSch.

NameChange70 Fri 08-Nov-13 17:53:53

Mine's okay, he's quite happy to come in for a bit. It's me! I hate it and I have to try and hide it for my older one. Even typing that first post has set the chin twitch off again lol. I think Bacardi is in order tonight!

Just a quick in and out, tonight. Boys are with their dad and I'm going out to a 'ladies pamper evening' fund raising excuse at one of the local schools. Hoping wine is involved.

My back is still dodgy, trying to stretch it.

DS1 did his Maths GCSE this week. Last year for being able to take them early. Results in Jan. My first experience of external exams for this generation. more nervous than he was

Have a good evening, everyone.

Summer, they do a calamine and glycerine combo that's quite good, too.

Galena Fri 08-Nov-13 18:29:07

Hi all - can't believe I missed the spa last week!


Can't promise to post much more coherently... I'm absolutely shattered and am keeping myself well dosed with alcohol and chocolate before consuming a takeaway once madam is in bed and then falling into bed.

Unfortunately, DH has invited visitors this weekend. GRRRRRRRRRR! So much for having a weekend to myself after 3 weeks stuck in a hospital.

stillstandingatthebusstop Fri 08-Nov-13 18:30:19

Namechange70 I am still bitter and twisted about ds3's mainstream school (that he got kicked out of) even though ds1 & 2 went through the school and were very happy there and well taught and supported confused It was a horrible time when he left.

Have name changed slightly to let you know what I have been doing this week. Transport has been awful.

PolterGoose Fri 08-Nov-13 18:31:25

So pleased you're home Galena, hope you manage some rest at the weekend, maybe send them all out?! How's dd?

MOIST Fri 08-Nov-13 18:33:34

Evening all.

Happy Birthday to LittleBear

And Hurrah! Galena.

DD2 is driving me nuts. Smashed up her bedroom door again last night because DD1 was in the shower at 9pm and is flatly refusing to go to science revision sessions.

She is infuriatin.

stillstandingatthebusstop Fri 08-Nov-13 18:34:42

Good to hear from you Galena!

SummerRain Fri 08-Nov-13 19:14:08

Galena, it's really good to see you back grin how's she doing? Sling the visitors in the general direction of the pub and 'accidentally' go to bed and lock them out? wink

The lumpy one is looking a bit better this evening so fx we might have an easier night tonight.

Galena Fri 08-Nov-13 19:20:33

DD's good. She's walking far more confidently and safely with walker (zimmer frame), she walks ok with tripod sticks although can't coordinate hands and feet, and can take a few independent steps.

Plenty of physio exercises to be getting on with now!

youarewinning Fri 08-Nov-13 19:24:13

Hey Galena so glad your home. Hows DD?

DS has tonsillitis and apparently his glands are huge. sad Good news is that he now has penicillin so hopefully he'll get better soon. Still isn't eating but for a while after ibuprofen/paracetamol he's doing his figiting etc - so getting back to normal grin

ouryve Fri 08-Nov-13 19:30:56

Much wine needed, in that case. Would be nice to visualise them buried under a pile of wet Daily Mauls.

ouryve Fri 08-Nov-13 19:40:23

Talk roundup? Where? I didn't know they still did them!

Glad you're home, Galena. I bet your own beds will seem super lovely, tonight.

Poor little fella, youare. There's no wonder he was so poorly, yesterday.

Galena Fri 08-Nov-13 19:44:18

Here is a little vid of DD's walking (ably assisted by DH) with tripod sticks. Look at that heelstrike! No toe-walking or inturning feet here any more! smile

Firsttimer7259 Fri 08-Nov-13 20:04:09

Hi everyone - hope its been good weeks all round. We had a good day, friday is dd's day with me. Only one tantrum - counts as s good one and ee even did the dreaded soft play (a quiet one)
Big hurrah galena

Handywoman Fri 08-Nov-13 20:28:35

Hi all, good first week back here, welcome home Galena and your dd is amazing! You must be shattered though, have some wine to get you through the weekend. Happy birthday to miniSallybear cake

Have NHS ASD assessment next week for dd2. Specialist SALT she is doing in-school observation on Mon. Then we have MDT assessment involving ADOS and 3di. Just got to dig out all my reports from over the years and collate them into something resembling an orderly fashion just for my own sake, I know we won't need or have time for them. My brain is feeling far from orderly though confused. Don't know how to explain the assessment to dd2, any ideas gratefully received.

In the meantime I'm a gibbering wreck in the corner nursing a bottle of wine cheers all.....

Galena Fri 08-Nov-13 20:36:48

It's so good to be home. DD is in bed, I have wine (well, rum and coke, but there isn't an icon for that... and it would have been wine except DH froze it!) and I'm about to watch TV.

DD found it rather hard to settle in her own bed because for the past 3 weeks we've been in with her. Hopefully she's getting the idea though...

youarewinning Fri 08-Nov-13 20:44:18

Galena - that's amazing shes up and walking like that already. Enjoy the rum and coke and your own bed!

PolterGoose Fri 08-Nov-13 20:54:10

Galena she's doing fab, such determination grin

Handy good luck for assessments flowers I mostly just presented assessment appointments as matter of fact, no real detail.

TheNinjaGooseIsOnAMission Fri 08-Nov-13 20:54:13

ouryve is famous grin

galena, she's doing brilliantly!

Thepoodoctor Fri 08-Nov-13 21:03:59

Good evening all.

Happy birthday Sally's DS!

Galena, that video is lovely and so glad to hear she's doing well and already seeing the benefits from the op.

People within striking distance of York might be interested to know that Ross Greene is doing a training day on the whole Explosive Child thing for parents, professionals et al on 12th December at the university. Googlable. DS head teacher and SENCO are both going grin I hope to go, but have a superb 3 way clash between a team building event for my collapsing team at work, the Explosive Child thing, and DDs first ever nativity play at school. In an ideal world in fact I'd send DH as he and DS together tend to be beyond explosive and into nuclear meltdown territory.

DS got a head teachers award yesterday for doing Y6 level work with co ordinates, and then got himself in a compete tizzy about having it presented in front of everyone and couldn't go through with it. Poor lamb - but at least he can now articulate to us that standing in front of the whole school at assembly is his idea of hell!

ouryve Fri 08-Nov-13 21:07:04

Pah, it's not loading, Ninja. I think it's a Javascript link.

Galena, that's quite remarkable smile

Thepoodoctor Fri 08-Nov-13 21:08:37

Also just wondered. Can anyone recommend a good educational psychologist we could see privately in the North of England?

DS has, I suspect, the spikiest of spiky profiles - advanced reading age, real flair and talent for literacy, aforesaid Y6 level work with coordinates, thought to be bright by most who encounter him, but really struggling with some basics in maths like times tables and telling time.

I can see its unlikely we will get more than the basics we've had on the state, but I would really like a more detailed understanding of what his potential is (do they do IQ these days?), and what the specific learning issues might be - working memory et al?

I don't want to piss school or the state EP off, but would like more detail for me as much as anything, does that sound unreasonable?

TheNinjaGooseIsOnAMission Fri 08-Nov-13 21:11:12

gah, just c&p grin
Meanwhile, back on Planet Parent… "Pompoms. I ask you. What grown woman wants pompoms on her clothing?"

RevelsRoulette is having one of those days. "I am now the proud owner of a lovely warm ankle-length fleece nightie.

With pompoms.

I didn't notice them when I ordered it, but what the hell? Am I supposed to look cute? A grown woman with dangly pompoms? Pompoms.."

Ouryve, clearly a cat-lover, has a thought.. "Perhaps the nightie is intended for cat lovers who want to entertain their pussies in the evening?"

ouryve Fri 08-Nov-13 21:17:21

Ooh, that looks good, poodoctor. I'd probably go for it, in the summer, but not in December, as I'd have to use public transport and our buses stop rather early in the evening.

ouryve Fri 08-Nov-13 21:18:33


CloakAndDagger2 Fri 08-Nov-13 21:21:42

Evening all

Nice to see some good news grin and sorry for those with dodgy weeks
I am a regular (very much) but don't want to out myself to LA

Am asking upper tribunal to permit appeal re our tribunal, it was a bit like Star's first one. Judge who reviewed decision disnt seem ti have read what i write. Wanted specific barrister, found brill one at hardwickes, but now can't get him as he's busy. Just as well really as we would gave really struggled witb the bill- we spent more than we had on the first tier tribunal despite no lawyer. But... too late Not ready to quit yet though. Bought amazing law book & will try last ditch DIY job.

So (sorry long screed) anyone been to upper tribunal? And if I tell you who I really am, any chance at all of seeing your statement of reasons? Cos I need to cobble it together so it isn't set out all wrong.

PolterGoose Fri 08-Nov-13 21:23:29

poo very envy RG is my hero but too far for me sad if anyone goes I would love a copy of any notes etc flowers

grin at ouryve and her pussy pompoms

zzzzz Fri 08-Nov-13 21:28:14

Galena Hooray! You're home grin

moosemama Fri 08-Nov-13 21:48:54

Happy Birthday Sally's Ds! grin

NameChange, I am exactly the same about the school ds2 and dd are at. In fact I've been having huge anxiety issues about even doing the school run and it seems to be getting worse.

I had to go in to see dd's teacher yesterday, as she's been anxious, tearful and having nightmares since she went back this week. I spent half the day on the toilet with an upset stomach and ended up with a migraine - which I still have now.

I haven't spoken to ds2's teachers at all so far this year. One of them is the teacher ds1 had when he was going through his assessment - the one that used to march into the playground after school every day and tell me how awful he'd been and "... it wasn't due to his autism, because he knows full well what he's doing - he's doing it deliberately to goad me." angry The other one (job share) is the one that stopped me as I started to speak in a meeting about ds2's JHS (that she shouldn't even have been at, as she only had him for maths twice a week - she saw me in the room with his form tutor and invited herself angry). She walked in, sat down and said "Before you begin Mrs Moosemama I feel I have to point out that ds2 isn't ds1 and he doesn't have autism - just so we all know where we stand". shock angry

Honestly they are both vile, bullying, shouty women who seem to enjoy making children feel scared and vulnerable. Ds2 is terrified of the pair of them, hating school and constantly on edge and sad and I feel powerless to do anything about it, as they are usually careful to stay just inside the bounds of what's allowable for teachers to get away with. (I say usually, as the first of the two has a real temper and when he had her in y3 - yes he's unlucky enough to have got them twice in 3 years - started throwing things at pupils that weren't paying attention. She threw a hard-backed whiteboard rubber at one child, missed and hit another - but none of them was brave enough to tell anyone until they found out they were having her again this year. I have told ds that he is to tell me the very first time she throws something and I will be in the HT's office like a rat up a drainpipe. hmm angry

The good news is that dd's teacher is lovely. She was so nice to me and acted immediately to support dd and reassure her. smile There is a total division of opinion of me between the infants and the juniors. I used to help out regularly when ds1 was in the infants and got to know some teachers and ta's quite well (although dd's teacher is new). I was worried that staff-room gossip may have poisoned their opinion of me - but it seems there may be a chance I was wrong.

We have our meeting with ds1's secondary about failure to provide his statement provision on Monday. It's taken almost three weeks to get them to respond to our emails and endless phone messages - and that's without them even knowing what it's about. angry

Galena so pleased to hear you are home and dd is doing so well. The video didn't play properly for me unfortunately, but from your descriptions it sounds like she's doing brilliantly.

ouryve Fri 08-Nov-13 22:23:29

moose you seem to have had so many migraines, lately - and is there any wonder sad

moosemama Fri 08-Nov-13 22:43:45

Yes, I am unfortunately ouryve. The only good thing about it is that what we thought was seizures initially does now seem more likely to be some sort of complex migraine. Unfortunately, I can't take any of the usual migraine meds, as I have had bad reactions to them in the past.

Having said that, neurology completely screwed up my appointments. Ordered me a week long EEG, then decided I didn't fit the criteria and cancelled it. Sent me a letter telling me not to attend the 5/6 appointments involved - then sent 6 more berating me for not attending and telling me I was being discharged for non-attendance. Spoke to them and explained, they agreed it was there fault, but I still haven't been sent a follow up appointment and that was sometime in March I think. hmm

I have had enough appointments and tests to last me a lifetime now though, so don't intend to follow it up - particularly as they don't seem to be able to tell their arse from their elbow - let alone what a brain should look like! hmm

Bit of a nuisance losing half of every week to it though - my poor dogs missed out on their walks twice this week between my head and dh having other commitments. I feel awful about it, as if I'd known I was going to be this bad I'd have thought twice about taking on a pup - it's not fair on him if I can't walk him daily and I can't employ someone else to do it, because I am doing a behavioural programme to help him through his fear of other dogs. sad

SallyBear Fri 08-Nov-13 23:16:29

Yay Galena!!!!!!! Glad that you're all home smilesmilesmilesmilesmile

2boysnamedR Fri 08-Nov-13 23:20:57

I will join you for a late tipple as I'm half zoombified. I am not having a bad week - pretty boring in my terms. Got cornered by the school out reach worker. I think I feel so numb that some emotional part of me has died from over use - like a burnt out clutch. It's quite nice actually to feel numb for a change. I hope this the last stage of my grief process. I have a support group tomorrow so if i can get through that without tears I'm officially emotional frigid!

Wouldnt it be lovely - I can spend my Fridays posting on aibu being most pissed off that someone parked in my fave parking space at work like everyone else and not because my pead has asked what I think is up with ds after studying him for four years.

ouryve Sat 09-Nov-13 08:27:57

I find sniping at stuff on AIBU quite cathartic, sometimes, 2boys. When I'm having a stressful week, I'll spend quite a lot of time on the main boards, because it requires so little emotional investment, on my part.

We're off Shopping, this morning. DS1 is a bit shirty because he's not having his pocket money until we're all dressed and we're not rushing to get dressed, just for his benefit. Just measured his feet, since his school shoes are falling apart. Brantano, here we come. Please have something acceptable in 3.5G in stock!

He'd actually be better off in Startrite than Clarks, but the only place I know in the area that sells them carries only 2 or 3 styles and he really likes to choose for himself, rather than feel dictated to by a shop assistant.

SallyBear Sat 09-Nov-13 08:30:38

Ouryve I have always been tough about shoes. I've always told them that we buy what fits. All four of mine have very slim feet which makes shoe shopping a long and protracted experience confused I also only ever do two dc at a time as I lose the will to live!!

ouryve Sat 09-Nov-13 08:48:40

He finds shoe shopping extremely difficult. He's already digging his heels in and threatening to refuse to go out. If he's gone past the point when he can cope, an assistant coild bring out 10 pairs and he'd insist he likes none of them

PolterGoose Sat 09-Nov-13 08:59:35

moose so sorry you've got so much to deal with, hope it all gets better soon flowers

Good luck shoe shopping, ds hates it too but was much better last time, it's only taken 10 years.

hazeyjane Sat 09-Nov-13 09:33:31


a quick one as dh has taken all 3 dcs out to give me time to fill out a form (which for me is like writing a thesis).

Sorry to hear you are having such a tough time, Moose. All i can do is honk for you.

Galena, great to hear you and dd are back and that she is doing so well.

Waves and honks to everyone else.

Still feeling knackered from our holiday here.

Dd2 has 1 of 2 assessments wrt possible dyslexia on Monday, with the senco at her school, she said each one would look at reading, spelling, visual and auditory processing and last about an hour, plus a questionnaire for me. Does this sound about standard. I have been looking at behavioural optometrists in the area, and the nearest one is in Cheletnham and costs £375 for the initial 4 hour assessment (eek!)

Morning all. I stumbled in at half ten last night after a bottle and a half of Cava and went straight to sleep. Up at 7 this morning to get my car in to have the brakes seen to. (hopefully under the limit by now) Now sat in an out of town M & S café waiting for said car, making use of the free wifi.

Galena, great video. Well done, your DD! Still seems shocking that this recognised procedure that can give so much more movement isn't available on the NHS.

Hazey, Keith Holland? is well thought of, but is mega bucks.

ouryve Sat 09-Nov-13 11:13:12

Shoe Shopping didn't happen. The food shopping was a miracle, in itself. Now have a stiff cup of tea to calm my nerves. He couldn't tell me waht he was going to do with them, but absolutely had to buy some halloween tat off the clearance rack. 50p halloween themed paper napkins are useful, right? hmm

I just know we're going to get it in the ear, later in the week, because he has all of sixpence left in his money box.

Hazey, can't comment specifically on Dyslexia, but the nature of the assessment sounds about right. Pretty much a typical EP assessment, geared towards particular skills. Unfortunatley, the behavioural optometrist fee sounds pretty typical, too (though when you're costing by the hour, it's cheaper than some hairdressers!)

youarewinning Sat 09-Nov-13 11:46:48

Morning all. Just popping in quickly - DS seems to be improving - well he's eaten a rice crispie square (mint choc one!) and is talking to his Ipad (minecraft!). He's still not 100% but it's made me realise just how demanding he actually is now he's returning to himself. hmm

moosemama Sat 09-Nov-13 12:02:22

Thanks for the support. Oddly I don't feel like I am having a tough time at the moment though - perhaps I'm dissociating! grin

Ouryve, sorry about the shoe shopping. We found a style from Startrite that works to support ds2's hypermobile ankles, bought one of their home foot gauges and now just scout about online for the cheapest pair. I bought them on Ebay this time.

I measure all three at home and buy Kickers for dd (another one who's inherited my dodgy ankles) and slip ons for ds1, as he never undoes his shoes anyway.

Youarewinning, glad ds is feeling a bit better.

I am one massive PMT grumpalump today. Dh has taken all three of mine to Pokemon League though, so in theory it should be peaceful, but my puppy seems to have other ideas. hmm

MOIST Sat 09-Nov-13 12:34:00

Morning all.

Got a letter from school this morning

DD1s tracking, processing and reading efficiency scores are below average. And she'll get 25% extra time in exams.


Except DD1 is 17 and in year 13 with 6 months of school left.

In yr 5 she was confirmed dyslexic but has never been given extra time in exams or help in secondary school as they said she wasn't that bad.

Also I think DD2 and all her crap has used up my energy so I never pushed it for DD1. So I have massive guilt.

MOIST Sat 09-Nov-13 12:43:05

And having been at home all week off sick I am going insane. People keep talking to me and animals keep sitting on me and I am feeling a bit overwhelmed.

2boysnamedR Sat 09-Nov-13 13:05:45

Just come back from my support group and the red fig is dispensing again. However no tears so that's good.

Igo to Clarksville outlet tiger shoes. Sagas feet measured, I pick a pair off the rack and we pay. Always the same style.

PolterGoose Sat 09-Nov-13 13:42:03

Don't feel guilty MOIST we can only do the best we can at any given time flowers

Red fig? confused

MOIST, can I be the first to say, I hate your namechange! envy <-- sick face.
But don't feel guilty, even with NT DC it's impossible to be completely even handed. You have to concentrate on the biggest problem at the time.

MOIST Sat 09-Nov-13 14:05:15

I'm afraid you aren't the first ellen. It's tepmorary until I decide on a new one.

moosemama Sat 09-Nov-13 14:08:05

Moist, you sound like you've been living my life this week!

Try not to feel bad about dd1. Remember, it's not all down to you, the school should have been on top of it, we shouldn't always have to fight and we're not an endless source of energy for fighting schools and educational authorities. I feel similarly about ds2 and worse now I'm finding it so hard to engage with the school over ds2 and dd since ds1 left, but I'm doing my best and I just have to try and keep hold of that. I'm only human - so are you and fundamentally, it's the system that's let our dcs down - not us.

Hope you can get some peace and rest somehow this weekend. flowers

ouryve Sat 09-Nov-13 15:51:43

Oh, we measure at home, too. He would be the first to object if I found a style that works and stuck with it, though!

I'll probably wait a few days for the dust to settle (and the rebelliousness of wearing trainers for school to wear off) and then order some start-rite online. I'm wondering if the water resistant styles might survive being dunked in muddy puddles better - or if they'll just take longer to dry out. The one's I'd chucked had lasted him since June, but had 2 big soakings, this term, which is probably why they gave up and fell apart.

SummerRain Sat 09-Nov-13 16:06:01

I was at the chemists this morning and he asked me 'got any nice plans for the weekend?'... I laughed and said 'I'm buying calamine lotion and bandages, what do you think?'. grin

Ds2 is nicely lathered in calamine now and much happier. He had an asthma attack in the middle of the night so thank god for the gp giving us an inhaler this week. His hives flared up again over night... I think it may have been the steroids causing it though and he's finished the course now so fingers crossed it'll ease up now.

Moose {hugs} flowers I hope things perk up for you soon, you seem to be having a rough few months

moosemama Sat 09-Nov-13 16:21:50

It's ds2 that wants to stick with the shoe style. Since having that style he has had much less pain in his ankles and far fewer collapses - so he doesn't want to change them. Ideally he would have a pair of supportive boots, but school uniform rules state 'no boots - not even for medical reasons'. angry

It's one of the water resistant ones ds has - they are expensive, but have been worth every penny in our case. They seem to just repel the water and ds happily walks through every puddle he sees on the way home these days. hmm grin His feet grow really slowly and the last pair lasted from September 2012 until a couple of weeks ago.

Summer, poor ds2, hope he heals quickly and is feeling better really soon.

Thanks for the hugs, but honestly, I'm ok - just par for the course with my life. I'm used to it.

ouryve Sat 09-Nov-13 16:51:04

Oooh, I may pay that extra few quid, then, moose. They already cost a fair bit more than Clarks, anyhow. DS1 grows in fits and starts. His feet are only 5mm longer than in June, but it's enough to go up half a size. So that'll be him going up a full size by January, then, just as I've invested in shoes that cost more than about £30 grin

childrendriveumad Sat 09-Nov-13 17:19:14

Afternoon everyone smile
been very busy but relatively quiet here in terms of dc issues!!!
Wondering how long it will last?

Probably till tea time when we're attempting to go out to the local café for a burger night!!

Wish me luck!

Shoes are a nightmare here too, it's usually exdh's job now!!!

Hugs to all who need them, sorry for no personals but am thinking of all of you and have read everything good and bad


MOIST Sat 09-Nov-13 17:44:37

I'm fed up. And I hate winter.

autumnsmum Sat 09-Nov-13 18:37:16

Moist I hate winter too want to be curled up reading book at the mo but have spent afternoon supervising fights between younger dcs

Handywoman Sat 09-Nov-13 19:25:21

hate winter too. woodburner is on – hope I get to enjoy, as I'm on call. harrumph....

SallyBear Sat 09-Nov-13 19:43:50

Jacket potatoes in the oven with a casserole. Glass of red? Yes please. Just want to snuggle and watch crap on tv and forget about the world. I do however need to wrap DS3's birthday presents...bugger.

autumnsmum Sat 09-Nov-13 20:26:24

Aha Sally I made casserole tonight and dd1 dyed my hair a lovely bright red .am hoping younger two go back to school happy on Monday as half term has really thrown their routine .Galena glad to hear your dd is home from hospital

2boysnamedR Sat 09-Nov-13 21:18:23

I meant red fog before - oops! Nothing like a bit of dyslexia proof reading ( I should proof read really).

Just been out with my three kids and three others for a birthday. Four 'unique' non nt kids in total. I had a lovely time and they was all a joy. I should worry less some days. The kids are happy and well mannered at least.

Physio told me that I should leave my sons hyper mobile flat feet be as boots and insoles will never let him self correct?

MOIST Sat 09-Nov-13 22:50:40

Been out with 2 of my many sisters. Plenty of wine consumed. Just a couple of hours off makes so much difference.

Or that may be the wine

moosemama Sat 09-Nov-13 23:31:19

2boys, ds has more problems with his ankles than his feet. Apparently they aren't too flat, which is odd, because mine are flat as pancakes and the joints all click and move out of place when I'm in bare feet.

I wouldn't wear the insoles I was given as a child and have really painful feet now as a result. In fact I was recently referred to podiatry, when I was under physio for an ankle injury and she said she'd never come across feet like mine in her whole career. blush Apparently I have zero muscle tone in them and the only option is a set of insoles to hold them together. Shame I cancelled the appointment - I really can't be faffed with anymore medical appointments for a very long time and I've survived this long! grin

Morning all.

2boys, I thought a dispensing red fig might have something to do with dispensing alcohol! I guessed it was a new phrase that I was too old to know. smile

Shoe shopping used to be my worst nightmare. Not because they disliked new shoes, but because I couldn't keep them under control. When DS2 was about 4 or 5 and in reins he would escape while DS1 or DS3 were having their feet measured and run off into the stockroom, which was handily behind an interesting curtain. There's always a huge queue in the school holidys as well, weekends were worse, and he'd get bored and start screaming. In the end I only use to take him if exH could get a day off.

brodiemummyof5 Sun 10-Nov-13 12:14:00

Sallybear, I hope you're day is going well and Happy Birthday to ds3 smile

Hello Autumnsmum, I see for you and Sallybear school photos have been 'fun' and although we're yet to get a diagnosis for ds2 he has always hated having his picture taken and it's been a struggle to get a decent one, we have many where he is either pulling a silly face or just looking immensely grumpy, although I do have some lovely ones, only possible as he was being tickled at the time or he was caught unaware

Hello Namechange70, funny that, I'm having the same feelings about school despite being excellent for ds3 I'm getting that same 'twitchy' feeling with's a long story hmm

Ellenjanethickerknickers, hope the pamper evening went well, if it was me though I'd rather no alcohol was on offer as after a glass or two I may find myself saying a few things I may regret by morning (see above) shock

Youare, sorry to hear about ds tonsilitis sad hope he's soon feeling better

This has taken a while to type as having to be a dozen different customers in dt imaginary restaurant so having to eat pretend cake and drink imaginary tea, a little like here I guess . Yesterday we had dinner out, which we can and do manage as often as we can and it can either leave us feeling glad we did or wishing we had never bothered and promising never to darken their door again blush yesterday was a little of both but considered a success considering we had spent 45min previously in the opticians getting new glasses for ds1 due to prescription change so bearing this in mind we decided a fight to get ds2 to use his cutlery would be futile and besides it never ceases to amaze us how he can polish off a roast dinner, gravy and all, with his fingers grin (oh dear, does that make us bad parents)

brodiemummyof5 Sun 10-Nov-13 12:17:51

Oh flip!! Only got to the bottom of page one blush

Must get to grips with technology more confused

And there was me feeling all proud of myself for using the icons........

2boysnamedR Sun 10-Nov-13 12:31:43

That's why I like Clarksville outlet. No stock room!

My home. Start lady resigned this week. I guess my kids are too much hard work :0(

2boysnamedR Sun 10-Nov-13 12:41:48

Also I have discovered that I have zero tolerance for any external help. It is all so useless - like my hv telling me I just need to make my house safer ( no I need to help ds learn its not ok to push baby's down the stairs actually). And school outreach is trying to help but it's all so pointless. Lots if talk, no action. Ever.

ouryve Sun 10-Nov-13 13:08:17

moose you've been very helpful thanks

Casually said to DH, this morning that I was talking to someone about shoes and her son has some with waterproof that don't get ruined when the ground is wet and puddly.

DS1's ears pricked up.

So I asked DS1 if he'd like some shoes like that and he said "oh yes!"

So I've now ordered some start-rite aqua rain. The only problem is, that he's in the biggest size that style comes in. From size 4, upwards, there's no goretex type linings.

Funnily enough, I spent this morning, with my coffee, working my way through Lost in School. It's boosting my will to fight for the indy placement where plan B seems to be the default approach. DH and I are visiting the school again, next week, which should help me to clarify my approach with the LA and tribunal application, too.

ouryve Sun 10-Nov-13 13:16:22

Oh, and I gave up on podiatry, too. Also have feet that are beyond repair and cause me knee pain. I got one pair of insoles that were off the shelf and fitted so badly that they were like standing on stones and never got sent my follow up appointment and never bothered chasing it. It doesn't help that my feet are so wide that I can't find shoes that accommodate both my feet and insoles. I've tried multiple pairs of running shoes for over-pronation and still can't find any that fit, never mind any that don't hurt my previously injured heel in the same way as the insoles.

Ironically, the vivo-barefoot shoes I have really help me, when it's warm and dry enough for them. In winter, I wear my Rieker Eike boots, which support my ankles really well. I wear crocs around the house, as the arch support stops me from randomly falling sideways.

ouryve Sun 10-Nov-13 13:20:41

Sounds like your HV is a bit of a caring carrot, 2boys sad

Though i did keep my boys downstairs in plain sight, until DS2 learnt to climb over the gates, this summer. Finding DS2 on the bar on the end of DS1's top bunk, swinging the light shade, was a bit of heart in mouth moment, this morning, mind. Aaaaargh!

moosemama Sun 10-Nov-13 14:30:21

Hope the shoes do the trick for your ds ouryve. I get knee and hip pain due to my feet as well, not helped by the fact that they are also hypermobile. I am officially falling to bits. blush

I live in Masai Barefoot Trainers (MBTs) they are the only shoes that stop the hip and knee pain. Unfortunately they are anything but attractive, cost a ridiculous amount of money and if you want anything even remotely suitable for anything other than casual wearing for daytime and dogwalking then the prices are even more astronomical. I tend to buy a pair every two years, wear them daily and end up having to fork out in desperation when they are beyond hope of resurrection.

I have crocs as slippers as well - for the same reason.

youarewinning Sun 10-Nov-13 14:33:32

Oh my ears pricked up at waterproof shoes that I can also order online? Please tell he where - I think I may enjoy shoe shopping for DS again!

moose sorry your suffering with migraine frequently? sounds awful sad

Happy birthday SallybearDS

moosemama Sun 10-Nov-13 15:09:46

They're Startrite Aqua shoes.

You can get their measuring gauges here.

ouryve Sun 10-Nov-13 15:14:30

it's the start rite aqua range, youare. I'm sure DS1 will find a way to fill them with muddy puddle, but we have crocs wellies for really wet weather, when the village tends to turn into a river. This will be our only chance to try them with DS1 (wish I'd spotted them sooner, mind!) but DS2's only a 13.5, so I'll definitely be buying him some for his next pair. He's currently wearing some Clarks Air. DS1 hated the feel of them, so didn't wear them much, but broke them in just enough for his brother to take to them straight away.

I've noticed that start-rite do a lot more shoes with cut away heels than Clarks do, too. We all get on so much better with those.

ouryve Sun 10-Nov-13 15:16:45

As for the measuring gauge - if you possess a ruler and a flexible tape measure, you're all set!

autumnsmum Sun 10-Nov-13 15:17:56

We've had a mixture of people coming to help at home portage was very good with dd2 but quite keen to push mainstream .the only one I couldn't get on with was an outreach worker from the children's centre who wasn't sen trained and was extremely patronising

moosemama Sun 10-Nov-13 15:23:08

You can also use their Click 'n Fit service where you photograph your dc's feet whilst placed on a grid and upload the photo or download their [ Paper Measure]].

I bought our gauge before the other two options were available after a particularly gruelling stint in a stiflingly hot local Startrite store.

moosemama Sun 10-Nov-13 15:23:44
youarewinning Sun 10-Nov-13 15:37:31

Thanks all - just printing out paper measure now - then to convince DS he wants me to measure him wink

He's currently in a size 1 but has been since last September! If he's gone up to a 2 - ( or when he does!) Aqua rain shoes it is!

childrendriveumad Sun 10-Nov-13 15:53:14

good luck with that you are - all this talk of shoe shopping is bringing me out in a cold sweat <feeling very grateful that my ds doesn't need any soon>

But enough feeling pleased about no shoe shopping - last night's tea out was pretty much the hell on earth I thought it might be, the only saving grace was that everyone else had cancelled so we were the only ones there to witness ds rolling on the hard floor wrapped in my poncho thingy! blush

youarewinning Sun 10-Nov-13 15:55:27

Are start rite sizes different to conventional sizes or am I crap at measuring?!- DS was measured a 1F by Clark's in Sept but wears a size 1 pair from Next. Bought him trainer boot the other week (cheap shop,) and got a size 2. SR are saying with my measurements he's a L 3 H. He does usually end up a G in Clark's as has a high instep and also wears a toe splint so needs the depth.

childrendriveumad Sun 10-Nov-13 15:59:26

my kids always need smaller in startrite as they come up bigger I thought - but are narrower!

I get v.confused - especially as when I took dd to get new shoes, every time they measured her in all the shops they came up with the same size 2.5 E, but then tried her in 2 Fs as well as 3s 'just in case', 'worth a try' !!!

I thought they were supposed to be experts meself!! I'd buy a couple of different sizes and return the ones that are no good xx

SummerRain Sun 10-Nov-13 16:15:12

2boys, both my dad and I have hypermobile flat feet and never self corrected. I have chronic back and hip issues now. The insoles reduce ds1s pain hugely and the orthotic technician said the hope is over time his muscles will strengthen into the corrected positions, either way whether it corrects them long term or not the pain relief they provide him is worth the hassle.

2boysnamedR Sun 10-Nov-13 16:21:27

Ds was seen by podiatary when he was two, she was the first person to notice he was hyper mobile and urged me to see a peadiatrition. Maybe she knew then he was dyspraxic. I see his pead next week so I will ask robe reffered back thanks. It's a long long list for this appointment as ds is still bed wetting and only eats very few foods so the pead has about 15 action points!

ouryve Sun 10-Nov-13 19:05:17

It's easy to get the length wrong - I tried to rush with DS1, yesterday and ended up as 4.5, rather than 3.5. It's easiest to get them to stand on card (a dismembered cereal packet will do)with their feet back against a wall, use a straight edge to mark on where their feet end, then measure that.

youarewinning Sun 10-Nov-13 19:08:43

Ah ha grin Thanks Ouryve That sounds like a better idea. I could have understoof if they came up a 2 as his feet should have grown by now! But his size 2 trainers are a bit big (size 1 were tight). The aqua rain shoes also don't come in a H. But I think I'll try a G and give up the idea if they don't fit. I think they will though as Next are just a normal size width which is usually a F (some styles fit a G iyswim?)

FrussoNeedsGin Mon 11-Nov-13 10:30:10

Morning. The honks I received a few weeks ago for my dds DLA renewal worked!!!! She's just had an extra payment (a week early so part of the backdated) so it's gone up! grin just have to wait for the letter now to see which one has gone up.

SummerRain Mon 11-Nov-13 11:10:45

Frusso... congrats grin

I still haven't heard anything about ds2's DCA review. I really need to ring and chase it as lord knows we need the money desperately. They claimed in the initial application that his needs weren't greater than a normal child of his age hmm This is a 4.9 year old who still poos and pees himself several times a day, has huge communication issues, seperation anxiety and behavioural problems and has full resource hours in school as well as an SNA as his needs are so significant. But his needs aren't greater than another child his age apparently confused

FrussoNeedsGin Mon 11-Nov-13 11:33:06

Did you appeal it? There's certain key words and phrases that you have to repeat. Comparing to peers. I put in copies of all dxs and review write-ups.

hazeyjane Mon 11-Nov-13 12:34:09

I am supposed to be tidying up, but am sat in a sea of lego and lunch bits, feeling really flat.

Ds is back at preschool today and I have just dropped him screaming the place down, I'll go back at 1, so just a little window to do something and I can't actually be arsed to do anything at all.

It's ok to just sit here and stare into space isn't it?


FrussoNeedsGin Mon 11-Nov-13 12:37:29

Definately okay to stare into space.

youarewinning Mon 11-Nov-13 13:12:59

Do it hazey You need and deserve a break.

summer I'd be tempted to ask the DLA people if that was 'normal' for his age what a reception class at school must be like wink I agree with frusso though that its key words and phrases. I also find writing X needs support with this or Y will happen. Focus on the needs which mean he presents a danger to himself or others, affect bodily functions and highlight the amount of time he needs a carer for. There are things in DLA application which we know most 4yo can do independently (like dressing) but these things are not recognised as 'needs beyond their peers' until a child reaches 5yo. Except they'll recognise things like not being able to dress themselves without support at 4yo as needs beyond their peers if its due to physical difficulty - eg visual impairment, loss of limb etc.

Good luck and if you want help wording anything I'll be happy to help.

ouryve Mon 11-Nov-13 13:36:45

Well done, Frusso!

Agreeing about key words, Summer - you have to spell out how different your child is, assuming complete ignorance on the part of the assessor who, for all you know, is a trainee paper pusher with a tick box and no knowledge of SN at all.

DS1 went to bed and woke up in a bit of an off mood. He refused his teatime drink slept for 11 hours and woke up with difficulty. He had chocolate, yesterday. Coincidence? We're going to break it to him that chocolate needs to be weekends only, but one more incident like this and we'll have to stop it altogether.

And DH and I visited Indy school this morning for a chat with the head. Very reassuring in lots of ways. They're going to formally assess DS1 and start their own conversation with the LA and I've been given a local contact with a DS quite like mine who has already been on my journey and succeeded.

ouryve Mon 11-Nov-13 13:40:32

Hazey - you're perfectly entitled to cut yourself some slack brew

FrussoNeedsGin Mon 11-Nov-13 15:46:06

I agree with assuming complete ignorance. Dd wears hearing aids and I had to spell it out that without her aids being profoundly deaf means she can't hear an aeroplane even when stood next to one. And I stuck in a couple of information sheets on sensory disorders, and her behavioural action plan at school, and her core diagnostic reports with the points I was making highlighted which was most of it

ouryre is it 5 that the self care all changes? That would explain our increase.

hazeyjane Mon 11-Nov-13 16:00:04

Staring into space done! Thankyou. Ds was really happy when I got back, I thought there might be a hiccup settling after half term, but he did really

Dd2 is having her assessment for dyslexia, which she seemed really excited about!

SummerRain Mon 11-Nov-13 16:22:29

I'm good at formal letter writing and detailed every last aspect of his behaviour and repeated key phrases back to them. I also got my hands on copies of reports the school used to get his resource hours and SNA and sent those too. But I haven't heard a squeak yet.

The way it works over here you have to be getting dca in order to qualify for carers allowance. I have no intention of applying for CA but I think it's assumed you will be and they say no to prevent you moving on to CA once you get DCA.

ouryve Mon 11-Nov-13 16:41:52

You can also get LRM after 5, frusso

ouryve Mon 11-Nov-13 16:44:38

Glad she's actually looking forward to it, Hazey.

I was expecting DS1 to be apprehensive about next week, has he's had quite a bit of mental (and physical) prodding and poking in the last few weeks. He's actually really keen on the idea. We've explained that there's no guarantee that he'll get a place, but that we need to see if he will fit in, there.

Galena Mon 11-Nov-13 17:01:32

Glad DS was settled when you went back Hazey, even if he yelled a bit going in...

Just before we went to Frenchay, we got the appointment through for a 6-month orthopaedic review after her Botox in April - 28th Oct. Bang smack in the middle of the in-patient stay. I phoned to cancel it and they asked if I wanted to rebook. I thought I'd be cheeky and say yes. So it was this afternoon. The physio who does all the Botox was blown away (I did own up that she'd just had SDR) and went to get the surgeon. His words were 'She is such a good advert for SDR!' They are amazed at how the internal rotation has disappeared. Guess what? We've been discharged! smile

SallyBear Mon 11-Nov-13 17:58:04

Wahoo!!!!! So pleased got you Galena!!

youarewinning Mon 11-Nov-13 18:20:31

Wahoo Galena That is fantastic news. I am so pleased for you and DD, and your DH!

I visited my mum and nephew today. It was quite a strange visit because he has just turned 2 (we took his pressies as obviously missed his party due to DS being poorly). It was very strange watching him as at 2 my DS had very little speech (few odd words) and my nephew is advanced in speech. Also watching how DS finds it very difficult to accept nephew touching him - he was actually getting cross "as it hurts". This is the child who when his tonsils were touching last week and covered in white spots had "an uncomfortable feeling in the back of his mouth" hmm I'm thinking of logging this in my log book as does seem like a real sensory thing. He also really couldn't communicate with him very well - in fact my nephew could explain how he wanted to play better than DS could.

Good news is that DS is doing my head in better - so back to school tomorrow grin

PolterGoose Mon 11-Nov-13 18:31:54

Galena grin

youare wine

hazeyjane Mon 11-Nov-13 19:14:28

That is fantastic, galena, you must be over the moon.

Youare, it is very hard. I spent the morning with 2 friends who have dcs the same age as ds, their dcs spent the morning running up and down the stairs, playing mums and dads and pretending ds's bed was a car, whilst ds either rolled on his back playing with a lego brick, or curled up on my lap watching a lego advert on the iPad. One of my friends apologised on behalf of her ds because he said 'thank you' for his cake, with his mouth full, if ds ever says the words thankyou, I won't care if he has a whole Black Forest gateaux crammed in there! I am glad your ds is feeling better.

ouryve Mon 11-Nov-13 19:34:54

Excellent news, Galena! One less load of prodding and poking is such a bonus on top of the progress she's made!

Hazet, we got to a point with DS2 when we'd probably have cheered if he'd come out with a whole load of expletives!

Hmm, it always used to smack of rubbing it in and showing off when people got their NT DC to 'perform,' Hazey, though they may well be horrified if it was pointed out to them. It takes ages to just accept them for who they are without feeling real pain for what they might have been. In fact, I don't think the envy of others 'easy lives' ever goes away.

Oops, got sidetracked! Great news Galena! Hopefully your DD will be advertising SDR, and these orthopaedic specialists will be raving about it to others. Next to get it on NHS...

SummerRain Mon 11-Nov-13 20:11:00

Brilliant news galena grin

hazeyjane Mon 11-Nov-13 20:14:08

I forgot to say, Ellen-yes, Keith Holland is the optometrist that we looked at. Good to hear that he has a good reputation (even if he is megabucks!)

I saw him with DS1, who has convergence insufficiency and he gave him some eye exercises. (and I avoided their glasses!) Lots of the DC at DS2's pre special school used him, he was always the one recommended for DC with SN.

SummerRain Tue 12-Nov-13 11:00:07

It's one of those mornings. Ds1 was sent home from school after an hour with a tummy ache. He's been constipated lately (how I don't know as he eats his own body weight in fruit unlike the other two!). He's curled on the couch cuddling a hot water bottle and a cat smile

I'm supposed to be working from home today which doesn't look likely now.

And I had to hand over €52 I don't have for school stuff just to add insult to injury, on top of which the book fair is there today so that'll be another €20 at least. Anyone in the market for a kidney? hmm hardly used and in excellent condition...

SummerRain Tue 12-Nov-13 11:03:29

Oh and while I was posting that a notice of legal proceedings came through the door. Fucking tv licence... We were on direct debit and they cut us off for a missed payment. Because obviously if I cant afford €13.33 then €160 for the lump payment is so easy to come by hmm

Galena Tue 12-Nov-13 11:04:10

Hope he feels better soon summer

I love our Head Teacher! I mentioned I was slightly disappointed that I'd missed school photos as I hadn't got the weekly newsletter mentioning them as I'd kept DD off the week before her op. Photos were the day before the op and I'd have taken her in if I'd realised they were on but since I'd opted to keep her off, that was fine.

She's spoken to the secretary to see if the photographer can come in specially just to do DD's pic, or if not, she'll have hers done at the same time as the leavers in the summer term so we still have a Reception school photo!

Galena Tue 12-Nov-13 11:06:02

x-post summer Did you know you'd missed the payment, or did they forget to take it? We had a bit of a to-do with the mortgage when we first bought the house. 3 payments went out fine, then the 4th they didn't request, so it wasn't paid. I didn't realise and spent the money. Because it was their fault I was given as long as I needed to clear the arrears.

Thepoodoctor Tue 12-Nov-13 14:50:53

Galena such fantastic news! smile

Summer I hope you get things sorted with the direct debit and TV licence. Is DS1 on movicol? Works very well for Dd. also, we can shove as much fruit down her as we like but it's fluids that really make the difference between misery and happiness!

Sorry I have lost track of the thread but hello to everyone. DS has been quite a smiley boy since half term when his old TA returned so fingers crossed! Also I went to parents evening last week like a normal parent and talked about his work grin

DH had vomiting bug at the weekend but miraculously nobody else has caught it! Worst bit was probably DS having hysterics every time daddy was sick and worrying he was going to die hmm

Ourvye hope your visit goes well and will be very interested to hear how you get on!

Thepoodoctor Tue 12-Nov-13 14:56:51

Ourvye can I ask what you find the issue with chocolate to be? DS undoubtedly reacts to some sweet stuff and I sometimes wonder if i should exclude things more systematically. Then I go and hide under the bed at the idea of seeing it through!

Haribos skittles and fruit shoots banned forever though - when we adopted him his foster carers said he often liked a fruit shoot when out. In our naive state we tried it once. He did, we didn't grin

SummerRain Tue 12-Nov-13 17:35:08

Thepoo, ds2 is on movicol so i gave ds1 some. He drinks tonnes too, again the only one of my three who does, I really don't know what's causing it.

Galena, it was back in Feb and the dd bounced as there was no money in the account. I thought they'd just request it again or add it to the next month but they cut us off. It's sorted now, I had money in my account or the rent so I used that and am trying hard not to think about where to get it back from to pay the rent

NoHaudinMaWheest Tue 12-Nov-13 20:34:14

Hi all. I have read all the thread and send congratulations and commiserations as necessary.

I've been having computer problems but also RL has been quite intense lately so I've not been posting.

We had a CiN meeting for Ds yesterday to which Ds came and acquitted himself very well actually though I could tell he was anxious.
Some of it was useful but a lot of it made my blood boil. How can someone chair a meeting about a child and not know that child's age or diagnoses and be unaware that none of the secondary schools in our town have a 6th form?

I have decided that I can do without the caring carroting that is the parenting support intervention. In his summing up the chair said that I had decided not to continue with it as I didn't find it helpful at the moment. Ds piped up and said 'She didn't say it wasn't helpful; she said it was utterly pointless.'
Sometimes AS is just great. grin

ouryve Tue 12-Nov-13 20:42:35

Poodoctor DH will be taking him without me, as I'll need to wrangle DS2 home from school. He's really looking forward to it. That says such a lot for a boy who has had 2 big evaluations in the past month and was difficult to fully engage in either!

ouryve Tue 12-Nov-13 20:53:08

Oh - and the chocolate issue isn't sweet stuff as such, but migraine triggers. DS1 has always been prone to vomiting, but by last year was going through a cycle about every 6 weeks when his behaviour would take a real nosedive, then he'd start coughing a lot, to the point of it keeping him awake all night and then end up with diarrhoea, then wake up in the middle of the night a few days later and pebbledash his bedroom. He rarely spread the love around the family, so it obviously wasn't viral. It was pretty puzzling and the EWO was getting twitchy about attendance, so I took him to the Nice GP Who Actually Listens, who referred him to a paediatrician.

After a lot of brain wracking, the paed concluded that it was a strange set of symptoms, his immune system seemed fine and, even though he is allergy prone, his symptoms weren't typical of a food allergy and the only thing that fitted was abdominal migraines. That made sense, since we suspected last year that DS2 had a few and I've had a few ocular migraines in recent years. So we jumped on the suggestion of excluding the most common childhood triggers of cheese, chocolate and citrus. He's not thrown up for 6 months.

ouryve Tue 12-Nov-13 20:55:35

Got to love your DS, NoHaudin. Nice one! grin

PolterGoose Tue 12-Nov-13 21:38:41

NoHaudin grin for ds

If anyone's interested in seeing a teeny video clip of my ds having a 'moment' you can see it here I'll take it off YouTube later. I've found it really helpful seeing some clips of others kids so would be interested to see what you think!

youarewinning Tue 12-Nov-13 22:24:40

NoH grin that's brilliant!

polter your DS's is supercute! I thought he handled it really well!

PolterGoose Tue 12-Nov-13 22:32:51

Thanks youare I'm not sure cute is a word I would use grin

NoHaudinMaWheest Tue 12-Nov-13 22:37:07

Polter reminded me of Ds though I thought your Ds was pretty calm considering.

PolterGoose Tue 12-Nov-13 22:39:29

That was very much a 'calm one' it was just chance he stormed in on me when I was on my phone so could film him, I missed the beginning but it's quite a typical interchange. Just never know which one will result in meltdown!

NoHaudinMaWheest Tue 12-Nov-13 22:43:32

That sounds familiar. You were very calm too!

youarewinning Tue 12-Nov-13 22:55:58

I'm also jealous of your house! It's lovely!

PolterGoose Tue 12-Nov-13 22:56:10

Thanks, I've taken it off now.

Aw, I'm always missing the photos and videos!

hazeyjane Wed 13-Nov-13 10:29:35

Me too, EllenJane. Gutted!

Have left ds for an hour today, I am finding it hard tbh and don't really want to admit it to anyone in rl. Having this little window where I don't have ds as my constant shadow, makes me realise how odd it is going to be when he spends whole sessions at preschool and goes to primary. I got in from dropping him off, a snotty screaming mess, came home, tidied, opened the windows, made coffee, then the song Little Lion Man came on the radio, I listened to it on my MP3 player all the time when ds was in SCBU, and I just crumpled.

I thought of zzzzz's words to me when ds was at the worst of his separation anxiety - It's the bittersweet of being a parent. You foster that independence and self confidence and then watch them grow out of the need of your support.

I am so proud of how far he has come, and My heart leaps when I see how happy he is playing with his 1-1, and how pleased with himself he is when I come back in the room. And the irony is that independence is what we are striving for, and I know that ds is always going to need a level of support, but god it is hard.

PolterGoose Wed 13-Nov-13 10:39:33

(((hugs))) hazey brew and cake as always we do the best we can and keep striving.

hazeyjane Wed 13-Nov-13 10:45:35

Making myself another brew now - preschool just called, I answered getting all prepared to run down and she said that ds is so happy and has even played on his own for a few minutes without his 1-1, that do I want to stretch it another 15 minutes!!

Crying again now, happy tears, god I am a soppy cow!

Thepoodoctor Wed 13-Nov-13 16:57:38

Not soppy hazey - so pleased for him and you. You've worked hard for that between you smile

DH and I are going OUT tonight for the first time since DD came home 2.5 years ago. Heroic grandparents are babysitting. DS is somewhat anxious . I am more than a bit nervous ...

SallyBear Wed 13-Nov-13 17:14:35

Can anyone help me with this problem please?? I posted on the kids board.

DS4 has ASD, is deaf and is non verbal. He has always been a selective eater. He will eat fibre (fruit and vegetables), is not hugely keen on meat but we get it in somehow and will drink Ribena and fruit juice all day long. What he has always been bad with is poo. The days between poos are stretching to about 10 days apart now. I have a job getting medicine into him and have had to resort to suppositories a few times when he's been feverish.

Any of you have a DC who is awful with poo, and what do you do to encourage bowel movements. I'm getting quite desperate. Seeing his paed tomorrow and also the GP to see about a prescription to help him. How I will get whatever into him, I don't know. hmm

Anyone out there who can help me please?? Thanks.

PolterGoose Wed 13-Nov-13 17:30:15

Hope you have a lovely night out hazey grin

Sally no experience of that at all, how you can find a solution that works.

My ds is ok this week, it's made a huge difference having an up to date timetable so we can remind him of what he's done so he doesn't get stuck on the one 'catastrophe' that ruined the day. Still waiting for feedback on the good parts of every day from TA though (as agreed a week ago) hmm

PolterGoose Wed 13-Nov-13 17:30:51

Sorry Sally that should be 'hope you find a solution' blush

Galena Wed 13-Nov-13 17:37:01

We found milled golden linseed could be stirred into cereal or puddings, stewed fruit, etc and were consumed happily. Got them from Aldi! Also sitting on toilet or potty with knees higher than hips with something in front to encourage 'rocking' so playmobil or a 'where's wally' style book so rocking forwards to look then back when something was found worked well. Also routine. Find when he normally poos and sit him there with book/toy at that time every day.

youarewinning Wed 13-Nov-13 18:08:34

sally My DS has laxido/movicol. Its put into fluid and holds water into the bowel so helps keep stools soft and easier to move. I use strong squash to out it into, and use a sports bottle so that may work for your DS?

SallyBear Wed 13-Nov-13 18:32:56

Ok. I will ask about that. He has very refined taste buds.... Namely he can spot doctored stuff a mile off! Hopefully with the aid of strong squash I might be able to hoodwink him smile

Galena Wed 13-Nov-13 18:37:53

Word of warning... DD had movicol and it gave her terrible, terrible stomach cramps. That's why we went with natural foods and routine. grin

SallyBear Wed 13-Nov-13 18:51:54

Warning noted. Thankfully he loves dried fruit - thinking of introducing him to the delights of prunes.....

Galena Wed 13-Nov-13 19:22:25

Part of me wonders whether, in fact, he's having too much fibre? I know that sounds stupid, but I think too much fibre can cause issues for children in particular. And if he mainly eats fruit, veg and drinks juice, that's a lot of fibre...

ouryve Wed 13-Nov-13 19:25:09

Dear DS1. I know you're bored. You've told me over 100 times in the past 20 minutes. You have stuff. Use it. You're not some deprived orphan with no nice things to call his own.

SallyBear Wed 13-Nov-13 19:26:28

True. Its so hard tbh. He is very selective though of course if its sausages, chicken/fish in breadcrumbs, or roast/boiled gammon he'd happily ignore the peas, sweetcorn and carrots on his plate! He won't drink water or milk, so it has to be juice or squash. When he was little he ate everything. Bloody autism. hmm

SallyBear Wed 13-Nov-13 19:27:13

Early night ouryve?

PolterGoose Wed 13-Nov-13 19:30:32

ouryve shock why are you writing to my ds? grin

ouryve Wed 13-Nov-13 19:37:44

Funnily enough, he's started begging for an early night hmm

That's code for wanting his old coin.

He's been so bloody argumentative for the past day or so. I was struggling home with DS2, who didn't want to walk, yesterday. DS1 walked all the way home without me. 1km and 9 roads to cross - at least one difficult to judge and one a main road. He was all set to prove to me that he could cross by himself if he wanted and I couldn't stop him, this morning, until I reminded him that Lumiere, tomorrow, will be extremely busy, and that if we can't trust him to always do his best to be safe, including obeying the rules that we set to help him be safe, then we can't take him.

ouryve Wed 13-Nov-13 19:40:25

Oh, and he's no longer bored. He's showing us coins. Quibbling the use of v instead of u on one of them. He even argues with his coins. He was up in arms, this morning, because two different years of 10 Drachma coins had Drachma pluralised differently - one Drachmai, one as Drachmas.

SallyBear Wed 13-Nov-13 19:52:58

My DS is a coin bore too. He even puts white gloves on to show his 'rare' ones off!?blush

ouryve Wed 13-Nov-13 20:22:34

Oh gosh, I'd best not put ideas into his head. His collection is mostly car boot/ebay finds, many donated by his cousin who has a few more years collecting behind him!

Thepoodoctor Thu 14-Nov-13 00:15:57

Ourvye you're reminding me of DS phase of coin obsession. It was quite fun while it lasted smile

Enjoyed our first night out in 2 years - to the local cinema who were doing a live from theatre broadcast. The kids were apparently angels for my parents. bringing up four kids under 5 including twins with HFA obviously gives you a certain skill set after all grin

ouryve Thu 14-Nov-13 10:24:39

Oooh, a night out. It's a decade since we had one of those! If you call an evening being monitored in hospital followed by a very late dinner at McD's a night out grin (Actually, it's 10 years today since DS1's due date. Stubborn bugger held on until December!)

I'm feeling a bit physically broken after yet another stressful walk to school. DS2 sat down as soon as i closed the sodding gate. He then tried to sit down all the way until the Dr surgery, so I was frogmarching him, with the end of one coat sleeve in one hand and my other under his other arm. Probably as painful for him as for me. He was relieved to find the Drs open, this morning (was closed for training, yesterday afternoon - that was fun) but not impressed that they'd locked one of the automatic doors - presumably because of the wind.

I bloody hurt. Beginning to think going back to the buggy would be less painful. It stinks though, so not really an option.

Need to replenish the packed lunch cake stash. I have several ripe bananas to use.

SummerRain Thu 14-Nov-13 10:53:02

Ds1 is still off school, he went from constipated to the runs. Problem is he doesn't feel sick so is bored out of his mind and driving me insane. [is it too early for rum]

BeeMom Thu 14-Nov-13 17:32:55

Another coin obsessed DS here - his prized possession is a 1796 shilling...

There are days I want to get his collection appraised, then sell it and tell him he owed me grin

ouryve Thu 14-Nov-13 17:49:06

Of course, the coin obsession has its downside. He is equally obsessed with spending money, just so he can get change. He's also made an arbitrary rule that we have to pay for anything under £20 in cash hmm The fallout, if we dare to use card, can be spectacular. He also went through a phase of trying to rummage through people's pockets.

Well, DH and DS1 have gone into Durham, to see Lumiere (DS1 is convinced he'll be able to go to the shops and spend money but I've said there's be no Metrocentre at the weekend if he gets angry because he can't). I've chickened out, as DS2 has thoroughly broken me, today. Much as I'd love to see it (the carrier bag Christmas tree was looking impressive, when I saw it on Tuesday), I can't face trudging round in the cold with a sore everything and sciatica just to add to it all. DS2 has been such a PITA about walking with his hand held, lately, too.

BeeMom Thu 14-Nov-13 17:59:38

Well, ouryve , I have to respect you for drawing the line and not just going. Sad that you are hurting, though - that is awful.

Would you like some Canadian coins for your DS as a Christmas present?

Let me know...

ouryve Thu 14-Nov-13 18:19:11

Ooh, I bet he'd love that!

Do they have the year they were minted on them? He's quite opinionated about countries that don't do that!

As an aside, I can't believe that we have a huge 5 seater sofa and DS2 is squeezed onto this little armchair with me and my laptop. Very warm, but less than comfortable!

ouryve Thu 14-Nov-13 18:20:12

Summer - hope your day's got better. It's probably safe to hit the rum, now ;)

Galena Thu 14-Nov-13 18:21:51

ouryve I hope you get good rest and feel better soon.

We're in an interesting position at the moment... DD is doing half days at the moment (although she wants to stay all day tomorrow because it's chips for lunch and 'Fun Friday' where each teacher chooses an activity to do and the children get to choose which they'd like to do). She, of course, has a full time 1-1, who is now more necessary than ever because DD is much more wobbly now. All well and good (although her TA is still the only TA in the class).

However, before school my friend's DC, let's call them X, is struggling at the moment. There have been queries about ASD for a number of years, and they are implementing Ed Psych visit after Christmas, with a view to statementing X for Y1. So, X is kicking off before school and DD's TA ends up having to coerce/manhandle X into class, meaning I had to take DD in this morning because the TA was busy with X. Luckily today X calmed quickly, so the TA then came and sorted DD, but on days when X doesn't settle quickly, does that mean DD isn't getting the TA time? Now, because X is a family friend I don't like to kick up a fuss, and they are all well aware of DD's needs at the moment... but... something doesn't sit right. I wonder whether I'm best contacting the Advisory teacher for physical disability, to see whether they can sort this?

PolterGoose Thu 14-Nov-13 18:22:34

Sorry you're in pain ouryve hope it gets better soon flowers

Summer hoping ds gets better soon.

Lovely to see you in the G&C again BeeMom grin

PolterGoose Thu 14-Nov-13 18:28:46

Galena I don't think you have a choice but to raise it properly. Personally I would do it in writing 'just in case'. If the little boy needs support then school need to put that in place properly. School tried to support ds by using a child with a statement's TA, I complained. They put alternative arrangements in place until they appointed his own TA. However much ds needed support I was not prepared for it to be at another child's 'cost'.

SallyBear Thu 14-Nov-13 18:29:23

Galena does DD have a statement and is it actually written in her statement that she has a full time 1:1? When my DD was in reception she had her own TA and there was also a class TA. Just wondering if the school aren't trying to pull a fast one?

BeeMom Thu 14-Nov-13 18:41:14

ouryve all of our coins (especially the special issue ones) have minting year on them... what year was he born? We have had a lot of special issue sets over the last decade (Vancouver Olympics, Bicentennial of the War of 1812 and so on...) and if one was in his birth year - we can put that together for him.

If you want to PM me your contact info, I will put something together and send it your way...

ouryve Thu 14-Nov-13 18:42:15

Thanks Polter. I've dosed up on The Good Drugs. (Only naproxen and co-codamol, but they definitely take the edge away.

And DS2 and I are watching In The Night Garden. Don't get to do that, very often grin

ouryve Thu 14-Nov-13 18:44:33

He was born in 2003. 10 years today since his due date! Actually makes me feel old.

Will PM you later when I'm not being sat on grin

Galena Thu 14-Nov-13 18:58:24

In her statement it says '26 1/4 hours support each week for Care and Supervision and 5 hours support each week for Midday Supervision' It also says 'This support should be used flexibly both in and out of the classroom, in groups and in individual situations as and when appropriate' This is because she has some social bits on her statement about developing appropriate relationships with peers, which is difficult to do individually!

I had already raised with the Advisory teacher that she was the only TA in the classroom, but because DD was coping well and because we knew she would be off for a month we decided not to rock the boat at the start of the year. However, the AT did say that they were precisely the people to deal with it as they are there to ensure her statement is being applied correctly.

I will email her and tell her that, not only have DD's needs increased (albeit temporarily), but also the TA is being used not just to support DD AND the class, but also now to support X! ARGH!

autumnsmum Thu 14-Nov-13 19:11:17

Galena when my ds who has hfa was in reception there was a boy in the class with autism who was statemented to have help. The school used his ta to cover the whole reception class which was utterly wrong .0ne morning she had a crying boy on each arm .i hope this isn't happening to your dd

Galena Thu 14-Nov-13 19:14:14

autumn That's exactly what's happening. I shall email the AT forthwith!

autumnsmum Thu 14-Nov-13 19:27:10

Galena pls send that email . I wish we had fought for help at the but I had pnd after having dd2 well done

Galena Thu 14-Nov-13 19:36:15

Email sent.

Let's see what happens now. When I first became aware of it I didn't want to rock the boat because I knew she was going to be off for 4 weeks. And I mentioned it to the advisory teacher who said she would deal with it after the op if it hadn't changed by then. She described their role as making sure DD was receiving the support her statement entitled her to.

The advisory teachers are lovely, so I'm sure they will do something.

ouryve Thu 14-Nov-13 22:32:44

Glad you sent that email, Galena.

ouryve Fri 15-Nov-13 09:27:56

Well, DS2 opted to wear his trainers, this morning, instead of his school shoes. Taking them off so I could remove his pyjamas was somewhat challenging, mind! He walked most of the way to school beautifully, with no whining or dropping to the ground, then, when we were almost there, started to complain. He dropped to the ground and started wailing just 100 yards from the school gate (and quite predictably, about a foot from some dogshit).

It's obvious his legs are hurting him. He always has walked better in his trainers (an ancient handmedown pair of Adifast - DS1 liked wearing them, too). He's so heavy that pushing his mac major is so hard going on the hills and uneven pavements, and, as I said, it's gone mouldy in the garage.


hazeyjane Fri 15-Nov-13 09:45:04

hands brew and cake to ouryve, that sounds hard.

I wrote a post yesterday, which seems to have disappeared! How odd!

I am all of a jitter, because I am trying leaving ds for a whole session at preschool has happened by default because dd1 is off ill and because e only live 2 minutes away, it is easier to run over and get him iff he is hysterical, than trying to sort something out for dd1.

Unfortunately we have his TAC meeting this afternoon, at which all the statement/crap senco shit is going to (hopefully) be sorted, and we will have to take dd1 with us. Ah well.

Thepoodoctor Fri 15-Nov-13 09:46:43

Well done Ourvye! Can he not wear trainers to school on a normal day? By the way you've put DS1s name in the message I suspect - reported for editing hope that's OK.

Galena glad you sent that email. As the mum of a kicker off before school I wouldn't be happy if the TA of a child who needed that support was being used to provide it. I'm sure friend will be fine about it!

Two words to describe my morning or three if im allowed an expletive: Fucking Pyjama Day! Not a good thing for children who don't do the unusual hmm

Thepoodoctor Fri 15-Nov-13 09:48:47

Sorry, I mean well done until 100 yards away. Is driving an option? Not ideal I know but needs must?


Can't find button to report post for editing anyone else know how?

hazeyjane Fri 15-Nov-13 09:55:11

Hah, yes, Thepoodr - even ds's preschool was supposed to be spots and stripes, and when we walked through the door the mangeress said, 'aah minihazey, i see you are celebrating children in need day by wearing black'...fortunately ds was a screaming, snotty mess and just screeched in her face, which says it all really.

Dd1 never joins in with any of the dress up days, anything that seems like enforced fun, makes her squirmy. Dd2 on the other hand came downstairs in her spotty swimsuit over stripey leggings wearing 2 sets of Pudsey ears....

Galena Fri 15-Nov-13 09:57:12


Galena Fri 15-Nov-13 10:02:26

DD has gone to school perfectly happy in her snuggly onesie... And is intending to stay all day. Hooray!

I've reported your post for editing, ouryve , hope that's ok? I agree, if his legs are hurting is there any other option for getting him there? Bike? Trike? Scooter? Car? Bus? And could you find some black trainers which might be accepted at school?

Good luck hazey here's hoping he does as fantastically as he has been today.

Got home from the school run to a phone message from the advisory teacher saying she will call the school today to talk about the issue and then either she or the preschool/school transition person will go in next week. smile

British Gas have put me in a bad mood... They have not been charging me for electricity for the past 9 months due to some sort of technical issue. Each time, however, they reassure me that it will be sorted by the next statement, but each time, it isn't. The direct debits are going in fine, so we won't be hit by a big bill once it is sorted, and they have the correct meter readings, they just aren't generating a charge. I've phoned and asked to speak to a manager, but apparently it'll be at least 2 hours till they phone me back...

Thepoodoctor Fri 15-Nov-13 11:04:43

Aargh Galena! You see it's all so much better since we privatised them smile glad things are going well on other fronts though.

Hazey hope he's had a better day when you collect.

I just had to take DS coat and
Jumper in (forgotten in meltdown, jumper refused, and it's freezing here!) Hadn't meant to disturb DS but met a happy bubbling little boy on his way out to play who was delighted to see me, his jumper and the possibility of money for the CiN cake stall! Feel so much better, so hope you have a similar experience.

Now to have breakfast, hadn't got round to even a cup of tea yet and since DD had me up for three hours in the night ...

PolterGoose Fri 15-Nov-13 11:05:31

Fucking Pyjama Day!

Here here. Ds was foul this morning, nearly trashed his tablet, whilst he couldn't recognise it's because of fucking pyjama day it very clearly was completely because of it. Deep joy.

brew and cake all round

hazeyjane Fri 15-Nov-13 11:07:13

I wonder if it would be the done thing to go to ds's TAC meeting later, in a Pudsey onesie?

Galena Fri 15-Nov-13 11:08:32

Do it, Hazey!

hazeyjane Fri 15-Nov-13 11:19:48

If only I could get a rush delivery for a carrot onesie, I would have the perfect TAC meeting outfit, curses!

Galena Fri 15-Nov-13 11:38:01

Oh MN! Where is your 'like' button! ;)

PolterGoose Fri 15-Nov-13 11:41:27

hazey look grin

hazeyjane Fri 15-Nov-13 11:58:02

Right I am just going to picture everyone at the meeting wearing those, and I will be fine.

autumnsmum Fri 15-Nov-13 11:59:49

Polter Hazey I want that suit

hazeyjane Fri 15-Nov-13 12:13:16

He did it!!!!! Ds stayed at preschool for a whole session!!!!!


PolterGoose Fri 15-Nov-13 12:14:10

Wow hazey amazing, well done ds grin

Galena Fri 15-Nov-13 12:21:56

WOOHOO! Well done mini-hazey! grin

Thepoodoctor Fri 15-Nov-13 13:33:32

That's amazing, well done mini Hazey! smile

Galena Fri 15-Nov-13 14:43:42

Well, DD lasted till 1.45... I think she realised that Friday 'fun afternoon' wasn't as fun as she thought so she wailed and told them she was tired so they phoned me to collect her...

She doesn't now seem terribly tired, so I'm a little sceptical, but willing to give her the benefit of the doubt for a few weeks.

autumnsmum Fri 15-Nov-13 15:52:02

Oh dear strayed into Aibu someone was complaining their dc who is 4 wants to do pretend play with them all day .felt like posting that I would jump for joy if my dd4 asked me even once to do pretend play with her

Galena Fri 15-Nov-13 18:19:20

New thread here

ouryve Fri 15-Nov-13 18:55:33

Yes, thanks, poodoctor - I was typing in a hurry while i drank my tea, as I had to dash out and catch a bus. I got MN's message while I was still travelling, so they responded pretty quickly!

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