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Goose and Carrot - Sept 20th

(314 Posts)
ouryve Fri 20-Sep-13 12:28:04

Crying! Perfect lunchtime entertainment and diversion from painting (and Lemon Drizzle Cake woman)

SummerRain Fri 20-Sep-13 12:37:58

Love it grin

this is one of my favourite science tunes, I've never forgotten Avogadro's number since (although frequently forget it's called Avogadro's number blush)

Or if famous scientists set to cheesy dance music is more your thing I humbly submit Symphony of Science

FrussoHathor Fri 20-Sep-13 12:41:49


Ooh, they're good summer

DS currently likes this: Fractals Zoom and gets to watch it as a reward at school hmm

He also likes this though which is probably more my style: Just a Boring Square

Ah yes, Lemon Drizzle Cake woman. Lost half an hour to that thread....

SummerRain Fri 20-Sep-13 13:09:34

The fractals one is amazing, ds1 will love it too when I show him.

If my evolution course were this entertaining I'd be sorted grin

Last one before I do some real work

SummerRain Fri 20-Sep-13 13:10:28

Ha, I've lost far too much time to that LDC thread too.

SummerRain Fri 20-Sep-13 13:23:52

OK, honestly the last one.... been looking for it for the last hour but couldn't remember what it was called

quark song

The guy who does that one has a whole science series on youtube that's educational and funny for any of you with geeky kids, he lists them under the name crashcourse, here's a link to one that is used to revise yesterday chicken teeth

BeeMom Fri 20-Sep-13 13:51:40

You are all horrible and I blame you for my procrastinating... grin

This week has been hellacious, and I am thrilled that the weekend is upon us (although getting blind drunk and hiding behind the furnace seems like an awesome idea right now...)

Bee's new school is a dismal failure. I'll be posting a thread about it, but it is so hideous as to be comical if it weren't actually happening

Our dog has been ill for a few days - we were finally able to get her to the vet yesterday and have her checked, and we had quite the scare. Her xray was "textbook" for advanced heartworm disease... we waited one of the longest 15 minutes of our lives waiting for the rapid test to let us know if she was actually infected - all the while trying to figure out how we were going to thell the children. Thankfully she is not - apparently she has asthma (seriously?!?) but after just 2 doses of antibiotics (even though there was no fluid in her lungs, the doc wanted to be certain) and steroids, she has all bus stopped coughing and is still breathing quickly, but is definitely more comfortable.

DS is struggling with inappropriate behaviour at school - things I have been bringing up for quite literally years are suddenly an issue because one of his 7 teachers has brought it up. I am calling Community Living today to see if I can get a support person for him...

Otherwise, life is just ducky.

Galena Fri 20-Sep-13 14:01:27

I shall look at these later... They are my sort of thing, but I have to go to the dentist! smile

Galena Fri 20-Sep-13 14:03:02

Lemon drizzle cake woman?

ouryve Fri 20-Sep-13 14:03:06

I really must resist those other links and get into the much needed, inviting (honestly) hot bath that is waiting for me, in time to cool down again before i go pick the boys up.

I love the finish of this Laura Ashley paint, but it bloody stinks.

Beemom [chocolate] (I still have half a bar left)

FrussoHathor Fri 20-Sep-13 15:59:45

Dds taxi is 10 minutes late. Why do I always think the worse?

SummerRain Fri 20-Sep-13 16:04:02

because worry is our natural state of being Frusso smile Hope she turns up soon

(honestly, In am trying to study but bloody seawater chemistry is hard to concentrate on blush)

FrussoHathor Fri 20-Sep-13 16:16:55

Phew, was late because the taxi was late getting to her rather than her behaviour.
Definately a natural state of being summer

PolterGoose Fri 20-Sep-13 16:22:56

BeeMom wine and cake and flowers

Ds reported having a lovely lunch play with his best friend feeding crane flies to spiders shock I commented that I thought he believed that people who kill bugs "don't deserve to live" and he replied that his was ok because there are billions of crane flies and they were only picking the "weak ones" and that this was a good thing as it meant only the strong crane flies were left to breed which is good for all crane flies hmm crane fly eugenics. I suggested that as there are billions of people perhaps I could feed him to a shark, this was obviously a ridiculous idea grin

autumnsmum Fri 20-Sep-13 16:27:33

Quite a good week here dd2 has had a happier week settling into new school

PolterGoose Fri 20-Sep-13 16:50:05

That's fab autumn grin how's she doing with the transport now?

autumnsmum Fri 20-Sep-13 17:11:16

Thanks polter she's doing better now she has a fantastic escort who says she chats every day

stuckonsmallrock Fri 20-Sep-13 17:47:13

It has been a good week here, AS DD1 won star of the week at school for "knowing right from wrong" smile smile it made me chuckle. I love all the links above, as will DD1. When my DH gets home tomorrow I'll get him to find all the fractal & geometry games he has hidden on the pc so I can post links. (They are hidden so DD1 doesnt spend her entire life playing them).

Thepoodoctor Fri 20-Sep-13 17:49:50

Sorry to hear about school rubbish BeeMom. On the other hand, most pleased the dog is improving! You must have been so worried.

DS having picked up his head teachers award and had quite a good day, had the worlds most humongous meltdown coming out of school.

On the plus side, having come out of it he's brought me a packet of skittles, given me a huge hug, told us all he loves us and he's very sorry and he will go swimming (part of the point at issue) because he wants to be nice and do what I want. This would not have happened six months ago ...

He then made me cry completely by asking if he could stay in bed for the weekend so that he doesn't get into trouble sad

Thepoodoctor Fri 20-Sep-13 17:50:50

Frusso and small rock that's brill!

RippingYarns Fri 20-Sep-13 18:25:24

is the bar open sad

sorry i'm not being very supportive this week, have been using MN as a distraction

DDs school is full of lying and duplicitous arsewipes and i'm having a good drink and cry

the meeting with the new senco was worse than bad, i hate the academy ethos the school is embracing

can i have some wine cake and kick up the arse to help me apply for SA so i can move her to somewhere that cares she pisses her pants please?

ouryve Fri 20-Sep-13 18:29:47

Ripping winewinewine, cake, and [chocolate] all freely given.

Oh good. Wine!

PolterGoose Fri 20-Sep-13 18:32:58

Ripping vats of wine and mountains of cake

RippingYarns Fri 20-Sep-13 18:33:20

thanks ouryve

i told my RL best friend last night i was going to school to drag the WellBeing manager out into the playground and make a hat out of her arse-skin

that's how mad i was

i'm giggling about that now, but last night i believed it blush

Enjoyed the concert, thanks. Does anyone know the Elements by Tom Lehrer? I don't seem to be able to find a way to link from my You Tube app. Lemon Drizzle Cake lady is a modern MN classic, BTW. smile

Having a rough week. DS2 (13) is being teased/bullied at school and has been retaliating by hitting and kicking. The teasing is strange, they have worked out a few harmless sounding phrases which they repeat virtually daily which is winding DS2 up. But teachers hearing them don't understand why DS2 is getting so upset because they sound so innocuous. The SENCo is good, though and has pinpointed the instigators and suggested a peer assembly with help from the advisory teaching service to explain about autism for next week.

My mum's dementia is getting worse. She's started wandering out of the house and had to be brought home by a neighbour the other day. She's also imagining conversations and events going on around her. We think it's time to increase her care package, but she's very resistant to going into any sort of residential home. Perhaps an overnight sleeping carer and three visits in the day. This will use all her savings but may protect her house. But it may not be enough to keep her safe. sad

It's very strange, I'm so used to caring for my DS and thinking about long term care for him, having to care for my mum seems all wrong.

hazeyjane Fri 20-Sep-13 21:07:16


I will have an ice cold glass of prosecco and something savoury please - me and dds held a cake sale at their school today for Jeans For Genes day and raised £340, it was a frenzy of children hurling money and grabbing cakes. And there wasn't a lemon drizzle in sight.

Just going back to read thread, and catch up.

Hope everyone is ok.

pannetone Fri 20-Sep-13 23:14:22

wine and cake to all those (well not caked-out hazeyjane) who are in Friday night need.

DS2 (HFA) has nearly been at uni for a week! He's living on campus in a hall of residence in a 'flat' with 6 bed-sit rooms and a shared kitchen. Am pleased to report he knows his flatmates names and what they are studying. He has not (as expected) done any Freshers week socialising - hopefully when lectures start next week he will start to get to know some people on his course. He remembered to enrol (phew!) and has had a session with his peer mentor. He was grumpy with me on the phone this evening but that is because I ask too many questions!

DS3 (also HFA) has had a relatively smooth week as a new-ish Y7 at secondary having found a geography book he mislaid and learning that he didn't get detention for a 'first time offence' of not having his book. He is enjoying choir (the only boy there!) and drama club.

Not a good day for DD with ASD and selective mutism. The TA who does a group reading session with her told her she was 'rude' for not taking her turn at reading today angry and that she must read on Mon. The NHS SALT is coming in this term to set up a programme for DD, but the TA should already know that DD shouldn't be put under pressure to talk. DD came out of school tearful and is already anxious about Monday. She doesn't know why she didn't manage to read today but she knows that the TA being cross with her made it worse....sad

senmerrygoround Sat 21-Sep-13 05:37:59

Ripping a WellBeing Manager - what sort of creature is that???

zzzzz Sat 21-Sep-13 06:26:42

Morning all. The day starts bright and early.

SallyBear Sat 21-Sep-13 07:32:41

Morning zzzzz. Knackered this morning. Woke up early and then took an age to go back to sleep. Now I just feel old.

Thepoodoctor Sat 21-Sep-13 07:46:05

Yup ... DS up at 6.30 and by 7 we'd had at least one major and several minor meltdowns ... Not a good start! Now in the bath, hoping trampolining and rock climbing will sort him out.

[tea][tea][tea] smilegrinwinkshockhmmconfused

(DD saw me doing this and wanted to press ALL the faces)

hazeyjane Sat 21-Sep-13 08:03:03


Woke at 7.30, best lie in I have had in about 7 years!

<apologies and coffee/tea to sleepyheads>

Unfortunately up for 2 hours in the night with chesty ds and dd1 who has a horrible cough.

SummerRain Sat 21-Sep-13 09:00:32

Ugh. Was woken in the middle of the night by ds2 screaming and the other two yelling at each other. Ds1 had slammed ds2s hand in a door. The only one who was asleep and not shouting was dds bf who was sleeping over but despite being told to go back to bed dd had her up and they were tramping downstairs 5 minutes later.

Ds1 has a match this morning that I have to drive an hour to get to and I'm zombified [ yawn]

PolterGoose Sat 21-Sep-13 09:08:24

brew all round

Trigglesx Sat 21-Sep-13 09:56:50

argh. H messing with my head. I cannot deal with this. He did something stupid, got defensive and tried to blame me, and then was going to cancel visiting the boys today after he promised to spend the day with them. Like hell am I going to have him let the boys down, even if it means having him here today. I will just deal with it for the boys' sake, but dammit I don't need this stress. angry If I had let him cancel, then DS2 would have been upset, but DS1 would have been upset on a nuclear level. No thanks.

Trigglesx Sat 21-Sep-13 09:58:06

hazey hope your DS and DD1 are feeling better soon.

PolterGoose Sat 21-Sep-13 10:44:47

Triggles flowers

FrussoHathor Sat 21-Sep-13 11:23:10

I need manual handling training. I've just put my back out again trying to lift dd. ouch. Where do I get training?

flowers triggles brew and [matchsticks] summer and [tea] for poodoctor

bigbluebus Sat 21-Sep-13 11:35:19

You'll be lucky Frusso Manual handling training is only given to those employed to care for our DCs - not mere unpaid carers like us sad.

You could try asking your DDs OT or Physio for advice if she has one.

I did my back in a few years ago whilst on holiday lifting DD and bending to get her dressed on a standard divan bed (we have hoists and a hospital bed at home). It was not pleasant and required Co-Codamol to cope with the pain. Hope your back gets better soon.

FrussoHathor Sat 21-Sep-13 11:42:54

Will speak with her OT. Or whinge to my dd for stronger pain relief.
Think my back may be well and truly stuffed this time.

youarewinning Sat 21-Sep-13 13:13:10

After a long tiring week I woke at 6.30am today, made a coffee, laid on sofa and fell back to sleep. Vaguely heard DS get up. Woke up eventually to see him standing right in front of the TV - said good morning DS, he turned round thrust his watch under my nose - which he's obviously been holding for reference - and said "I can't believe you've slept until this time, it's 9 15!" grin

I did laugh but secretly I'm thrilled our work on not waking up others as people may be tired even if your not has actually worked today !

Galena Sat 21-Sep-13 13:35:14

Glad some of you have had a lie in - sorry others of you haven't! I woke up with a really sore throat. DH kept wanting cuddles and, feeling like poo, I didn't... Pushing him away wasn't working so I grumpily got up. 10 minutes later DD got up and as it was 8:00 (the time she's allowed to get up) DH just opened the stair gate and let her come downstairs, while he continued to lie in bed. angry

I think he got the message, got up, cleaned the kitchen (and used the dishwasher which worked without smoking today) and then cooked us all brunch. smile

Still feeling rough, but not so rough.

FrussoHathor Sat 21-Sep-13 14:09:51

grin that's a start youarewinning

I think I've finally made a dent in dds DLA renewal form. Just have the list investigations/tests bit (how many extra sheets do I want) and then I have the ton of photocopying "evidence" (and the form) before I send it off. Ugh, they don't make it easy do they? and judgy nt people complain when we get DLA. Have that actually tried to fill one of these forms out?

SallyBear Sat 21-Sep-13 14:48:01

Bought a lottery ticket. The forecast was for a sunny warm weekend but not in Buckinghamshire apparently. Grrrr. I'd squirrelled away birthday and Christmas vouchers from last year and I will be buying myself a new tumble dryer. Whoopee doo. confused

SummerRain Sat 21-Sep-13 15:10:37

I have a lottery ticket for the euromilliins last night that I haven't checked yet. Villa in the canaries with a team of staff, fully stocked bar and fleets of SN nannies if I've won, you're all invited wink

KeepOnKeepingOn1 Sat 21-Sep-13 15:13:45

Ellen - so sorry to hear about your m. Another horrible situation often made worse by how things are. thanks

KeepOnKeepingOn1 Sat 21-Sep-13 15:14:46

Sorry - phone



Thepoodoctor Sat 21-Sep-13 15:49:02

Frusso - maybe a good Physio? One sorted me out when I did my back carrying DD plus a plaster cast all round the place last summer.

Wish me luck please, am about to embark on the fresh hell that is DS and his weekend homework ...

FrussoHathor Sat 21-Sep-13 16:22:01

Good luck with the homework pooDoctor

PolterGoose Sat 21-Sep-13 17:14:16

Very good luck with homework, my ds absolutely point blank refuses to do it at weekends, it can only be done on school days and even that is wrong grin

SummerRain Sat 21-Sep-13 17:35:46

Thankfully our school doesn't give weekend homework so I won't have go deal with that delight for another few years. Good luck Dr.poo wine

Just went to the chipper and got piles of gloriously shit food, we all needed a treat blush

Thanks, Keeping. flowers

Going to take the boys to KFC tonight, treat for them at least. (Not my favourite, funnily enough.)

Ineedmorepatience Sat 21-Sep-13 18:34:31

frusso Does you Dd go to special school? If she does you might be able to get a course at school with any new staff members.

I have just done the course for staff members but to be honest alot of it was about health and saftey and we could have probably done the actual lifting training in about 15 minutes confused

Physio might be a better person to ask.

I always forget about the Goose and Carrot but thought I would pop in because I know you will all be proud of me....

I have sent Dd3 to PGL with the school for the weekend and I have completed the DLA form!!

For those that dont know I have been saying I will do it for about 2 yearsgrin

Galena Sat 21-Sep-13 18:40:28

Busy listing cross stitch charts on eBay - I'm bored bored bored!

I did manage to pick up a bargain though. There were 3 TVStitcher magazines produced a few years ago and then they stopped producing it. They have great designs for the charity cross stitching I do, and people often pay £10 for them on eBay. I picked one up for 85p including P&P! shock grin

Hope the homework has been done painlessly, poodr!

Galena Sat 21-Sep-13 18:48:23

Well done Ineedmore!

Oh, I have also discovered my new favourite takeaway... Peri Peri chicken... YUM! Hot, fresh, cheap, delicious! (Half chicken plus 2 sides for £4.99!)

PolterGoose Sat 21-Sep-13 19:06:13

Ellen just realised I missed your earlier post, so sorry about your mum, such tough decisions sad

My ds had a very similar teasing/bullying experience when some of the children would say "moshi monsters" or "the snowman" which mean nothing at all to anyone else but completely wound ds up, thankfully the teacher was straight on it when I told him, I was surprised to be taken so seriously, hope you get it stamped on quickly too.

Well done Ineed and Galena

FrussoHathor Sat 21-Sep-13 19:55:30

Well done ineed, mine feels like its taking 2 years.
Yes she is at ss, will ask at the social this week.

Trigglesx Sat 21-Sep-13 20:25:18

Galena Oh that PeriPeri Chicken sounds yummy!!!

I'm feeling a bit more human now, sorry about earlier. Laid it on line - decided being up front is the best way to handle things and it's sorted again.

Boys in bed, DGS here for the evening and reading comics, trying to avoid sleeping. grin Typical kid.

Hope everyone is well.

pannetone Sat 21-Sep-13 20:30:22

We had a good day at Chessington today - DH and I got in free as 'helpers' and DS and DD paid the 'disabled young adventurer' rate - which was the same as 'normal' young adventurer rate. It was the first time we had taken DS and DD to Chessington - and with the ride access pass it went well - we only had to queue a bit for the Zufari ride and that was because it has a 'pre show' before you do the ride.

Still no takers on vouchers for legoland/chessington/thorpe park/alton towers? I put a thread on special needs children. The vouchers have to be used by Mon 30th Sep. Because we got in as 'helpers' today I have 4x £30 off a ticket (adult or child) vouchers.

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved Sat 21-Sep-13 23:55:05

Hello all, three pages already! Wow.

Had a rubbish day, in bed all day just being ill and missing my son yet feeling kind of irritated when he comes in and whines to be with me, cos it hurts me and I hate it all. Ffs.

And my ex h went AWOL just over three weeks ago, phones don't work, email no replies... He just failed to turn up one evening when he was supposed to see Ds, and specifically that evening as I had no carer to help so I really needed him. And since then Ds has been crying for him and I've been suffering as I don't have enough care so rely on h coming to see Ds... Bugger bugger bugger. I could cry, except am trying not to.

Thepoodoctor Sun 22-Sep-13 07:27:30

DoubleLife, so sorry things are so rough. thanks At least.

I suppose its a daft question to ask whether SS would provide more care, if you've been relying on your ex and can no longer do so? Hugs to your DS too.

Thank you for your vibes everyone: we did the bloody homework in under half an hour with minimal performance art! Really think school may be onto something with their current enthusiasm - I pointed out to DS the difference from last week and he said 'Thats a Growth Mindset'. Apparently Growth Mindset means believing you can change and work on your areas of difficulty, as opposed to having a fixed mindset where you believe your abilities are set and can't change. They've had assemblies on it and everything and are part of a research project apparently.

DS has refused to go in the garden for weeks because he's phobic of mushrooms - after this conversation I went out and was greeted by him halfway down the lawn shouting to me 'Look, Mummy! I have a Growth Mindset!'

Whatever works ... grin

PolterGoose Sun 22-Sep-13 08:42:18

Double so sorry you're having a rough time, your ex is clearly a prize arsehole, hope today is better for you flowers

poo grin at 'growth mindset'

stantonherzlinger Sun 22-Sep-13 09:08:24

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

zzzzz Sun 22-Sep-13 09:58:30

Morning all. Exhausted today. This has got to be the most ridiculous length of time to spend "getting better" angry

Galena Sun 22-Sep-13 10:13:50

Love 'Growth Mindset' - and if it's working for your DS, then that is fantastic!

double, it's hard if ExH isn't helping... Hope you can find some support, either from him or from SS.

zzzzz I guess if you work on the idea of taking as long to recover as you were ill for, then you won't feel so frustrated.

DD's croaky throat is now a snotty cold. She's in school for lunches this week, and by Friday last week was a bit teary due to tiredness. Hopefully she'll cope (She wants school dinner on Friday because it's chips!

PolterGoose Sun 22-Sep-13 10:18:59

zzzzz brew and cake

Galena [tissues]

FrussoHathor Sun 22-Sep-13 12:46:18

I have to brag and not very stealthily dd said her own name yesterday! Group teacher was ticking off the register, and dd looked at the teacher granted teacher was looking at someone else and said her name! grin but she did it.

PolterGoose Sun 22-Sep-13 12:49:50

Bragging is perfectly acceptable here Frusso well done dd grin

Galena Sun 22-Sep-13 13:17:30

Well done MiniFrusso! Keep it up!

I came on to brag too... DD reads well (doesn't walk well, but reads!) and she has just discovered Little Animal Ark books. I videoed her reading a page - a page she'd not read before... Now, bear in mind she's 4.5 and only been going to school for 3 weeks. ;) Here is the link

Trigglesx Sun 22-Sep-13 13:32:53

Galena Wow! Well done to your DD!! What a reader! smile DS1 is a brilliant reader (7yo, reading at 15yr+ according to school), but has some complicated issues related to it - some comprehension, cannot abide fantasy stories (although likes them on TV), and gets irritated at chapter books because they take too long. grin He loves history though, reads stuff and spouts back all the details - his current info monologues are the battle of Hastings and the history of Nintendo. Eclectic much? grin

moosemama Sun 22-Sep-13 13:45:50

Blimey Galena - your dd is amazing! Well done her. smile

My dd is also 4.5 and she is just getting her head around cvc words and the character names in the Biff/Chip/Kipper books - and she's streaks ahead of where he brothers were at that age.

Mind you, ds1 was then like Triggles' ds, in that he was off the reading test charts by y2 and devoured fact based books at a rate it was impossible to keep up with. I never forget the librarian's face when he completed the summer reading challenge in the first week! grin His favourite monologues were/are also the history of Nintendo and history stuff, plus lots of stuff to do with natural history (planets, volcanoes, insects etc). Then came the juniors and we had the history of gaming and gaming consoles, followed by his beloved Pokemon (endless scope there reading Pokedex for every series) and of course Star Wars. That was what we called his encyclopedic era! grin

Now he's 11 and seems to have given up reading. All he wants to do is be on screens 24/7. He has a kindle reader on his phone, so we're going to stick some books on that to try and get him started reading again.

Sorry I haven't read any further back. I have a kidney infection, which is really just a continuation from my horrible unhealthy week. Started out with me catching dd's virus, then had a migraine from Tuesday until Friday morning, my period decided to arrive 10 days early and then I came down with this. Got vile anti-b's which are making me feel worse than the infection and spent most of the weekend sleeping. Feel so blush and such a lightweight when I think of what zzzzz's been through and been so much stronger than me.

Galena Sun 22-Sep-13 13:54:40

Thanks smile She just 'clicked' early with reading. I have no doubt her classmates will catch her up before the end of infant school, but she just loves it! I love the expression she reads with!

moose that sounds grim! Roll on getting better, eh?

moosemama Sun 22-Sep-13 14:11:50

Thanks Galena.

I think it will be a while before her peers catch up with her. They may learn how to read the words, but her expression is amazingly advanced. I used to help out with reading in ds1's y1 and very few children had grasped appropriate expression even at that age.

youarewinning Sun 22-Sep-13 15:15:07

Galena Wow. grin She is so cute too!

I agree with moose re expression. My DS reads as if he'd rather be pulling teeth. Which may actually possibly be true!

PolterGoose Sun 22-Sep-13 15:18:35

I can't see the video Galena but it sounds like she's doing very well indeed grin

Nicknameinvalid Sun 22-Sep-13 17:06:21

2 days off school and 2 days with not even a hint of a meltdown.. But nooooo school can't be related to the meltdowns hmm

zzzzz Sun 22-Sep-13 17:39:01

I think I am going to have to buy star a wine she is in fine form tonight!

Trigglesx Sun 22-Sep-13 19:07:31

moose hope you're feeling better soon. Kidney infections are god-awful - used to get them repeatedly.

zzzzz Sun 22-Sep-13 19:16:34

Oh moose just read back and saw your kidney hell. sad. Poor you. Drink lots (2 or 3 litres), it will help enormously.

DontSweatTheSmallStuff Sun 22-Sep-13 20:58:44

Hello. Can I join?. Ds1 has recently been diagnosed with Aspergers and we are going through an assessment for ADHD too. He has just started in year 3 at a new school and has already been excluded for violent behaviour towards teachers and pupils. To be fair, the head teacher is very pro-active in getting things moving in terms of getting help etc which is reassuring but meanwhile my stress levels and wine consumption are thru the roof.

SummerRain Sun 22-Sep-13 22:11:09

Hi Don'tSweat smile Your situation sounds quite stressful atm, my ds1 has a similar dx but luckily he restricts his violence to his family so school hasn't been an issue in that sense. Some of the other geese have been through similar issues though and will probably be along in a minute with advice.

In the meantime have a virtual wine and some cake and make yourself at home

PolterGoose Sun 22-Sep-13 22:53:07

Hi DontSweat welcome wine My ds is 10 now and has Aspergers and other stuff, he has been violent at school (and home too), and is very angry a lot of the time, am very happy to discuss what has helped us.

Thepoodoctor Mon 23-Sep-13 09:15:45

Hi DontSweat. My DS is 7 and also starting Year 3, and we have a lot of problems with similar behaviour.

Thank god school are very supportive but I live in dread of him getting excluded. Is this new school after exclusion from elsewhere or has the new school had to exclude him?

Anyway have to go now but pouring the wine for you. Anything you want to ask about strategies our school use with DS feel free.

Galena Mon 23-Sep-13 09:31:29

Hi Don'tsweat. Welcome to the best place on earth!

Afraid I can't help much as DD has a physical disability, but there are lots of lovely people who can offer some advice, and I will offer support, brew cake and wine

zzzzz Mon 23-Sep-13 09:37:27

wine for Don't

Morning all.

hazeyjane Mon 23-Sep-13 09:52:53

Hello and welcome Don'tSweat (is it wrong that I want to call you and ThePooDoctor - simply - Sweat and Poo).

Feeling a sense of impending doom about preschool this week, hopefully it will be ds's 1-1 who greets us at the door this afternoon (gawd knows why they changed it last week). I am going to have a chat with them today about why, just because it is term 2, ds is not going to magically separate from me and skip through the doors waving goodbye, I will keep it brief and sweet, because ds's portage lady is going to come into talk to them on Weds.

She is great and knows ds and what makes him tick very well, she is also FIERCE and at least with it coming from her, I don't get put into the tired old position of neurotic mother. She just phoned me, and said she had made some notes to give them explaining that ds has a genetic disorder, and his anxiety is part of that, and in the same way that ds's lungs aren't going to magically get better overnight, his anxiety is also not going to disappear overnight.

She then went on to say that the SALT had contacted her and the 'urgent' home visit (so that she can try and assess accurately for SA) has been arranged for the middle of Nov......she is steaming and so am I.

Bring on the Battle <swigs rum in an attempt to seem ballsy>

Galena Mon 23-Sep-13 10:00:36

ARGH! Hazey! <Growls on your behalf before nicking the rum> We were very lucky we had a supportive preschool who were happy for me to stay with her until she was happy for me to leave. That meant I stayed for 15 months. As soon as she got a statement and a full time 1-1 she was perfectly happy for me to go. She just felt vulnerable and panicked if there was no-one there for her.

Hope you manage to rearrange the 'urgent' visit!

hazeyjane Mon 23-Sep-13 10:09:37

Annoyingly this is the supportive preschool!

The other options were - The sn preschool which said I had to drop him at the door with his keyworker and leave, whatever the circumstances (and this was the opportunity centre where he screamed and cried and wouldn't look at anyone,and the manageress called him a 'controlling little article').

The other preschool which was Montessori, and had a great ethos, was just a mess when we spent the morning there, toys everywhere, kids screaming and there was a boy with full blown chicken pox sat in the corner. They said i could stay the first term, but then i would have to go, they had no clue at all about sn.

This preschool is attached to the school that ds is hopefully going to (although he will be in the special learning unit within the school), they have the best reputation for children with sn, and the 1-1 ds has is fantastic, but unfortunately the manageress seems to have very rigid ideas about the way things are run.

<swipes rum back>

Galena Mon 23-Sep-13 10:12:57

Ugh. Yes, it seems the best option. <Leaves you with the rum - you need it more than I!>

SummerRain Mon 23-Sep-13 10:31:16

Hazey, have some cake to line your stomach from all the rum <sneaks gulp while hazey is distracted by cake>

Talk about the least worst option sad we had similar issues last year, only 2 playschool to choose from and the one he went to was only better than the other, it didn't suit him at all. It's exhausting.

autumnsmum Mon 23-Sep-13 10:51:19

Frusso that's brilliant well done to your dd sorry to hear about everyone's troubles and illnesses

Trigglesx Mon 23-Sep-13 11:55:01

DontSweat Hiya. Sorry, must be brief, as I'm determined to be productive this morning while the DCs are in school. DS1 is 7yo, dxd with ASD/ADHD, among a few other things. I've noticed that there have been some more physical reactions in the last 6 months or so, enough that I've mentioned it to the paed. IIRC, I think there's some surge in testosterone around this age?? (I must do some reading again - been swamped with other things, but will take a peek this week if I can) Also I know his frustration levels take him from extreme to extreme - very happy, ecstatic to "this is the worst day ever" mode! We're counteracting it somewhat - the old standby of "worst day ever? really? Let's sit down and think about what GOOD things happened today" sometimes helps - not sure if it's because he is actually thinking of good things or simply because the calm discussion allows him to regain control of himself. Could be a bit of both I suppose.

Anyway - cookies in oven, so must dash. Welcome though!!! grin

SummerRain Mon 23-Sep-13 15:59:26

Argh. ds1's bedroom door is broken thanks to an epic meltdown. All started thanks to his teacher telling them they won't be allowed on the nature walk tomorrow if they don't bring a hat. He doesn't own any hats as he won't wear them and I pointed out I have no car and no money to buy a hat even if i had the car. So he kicked me. This was outside the school gates before dd had even come out and it got steadily worse when we got home.

I'm at the end of my tether, just last night I praised him for doing so well all last week and not losing control and now we're back to square one confused

He's fine now, cheerful and mooching about outside hunting for caterpillars whereas I'm left shattered, weepy and wondering what the fuck to do about the damage to the house.

PolterGoose Mon 23-Sep-13 16:22:19

Summer (((hugs))) wine cake [tissues] [shoulder]

Glad he's okay now, teachers just don't understand that those sort of instructions can have huge ramifications for us, easily solved by giving advance notice of such things to the parents. My ds is a slammer and he knows that if he breaks his door it will not be replaced and he will be door-less. I'm really not usually one for blanket "If you do this then this will happen" but our house is old and he is in awe of its history so it works for this (mostly)

Somehow my ds is still on a good streak, ever since day one of the school holidays, we've never had it so good so long. There is the fact that he pretty much refused to leave the house all holidays but it seems to have been what he needed <fingers crossed>

SummerRain Mon 23-Sep-13 16:36:57

Thanks polter. I'm frustrated about the door. I normally stay with him to stop him from trashing the place but I was tired, stressed and really not in the humour for wrestling with him and chanced leaving him to it. My mistake but it's a rented house and I get even more stressed when stuff gets damaged. I haven't looked too closely yet so it might be salvageable, it's the frame that's been knocked loose as opposed to the door so [fx]

Interestingly though it was the first time he ever seemed aware of the fact that I was crying when he calmed down. Normally he's oblivious to things like that but he seemed genuinely startled by it this time (I wasn't sobbing in front of him btw, I was downstairs and he came in to apologise a while later and saw me crying). I suppose noticing someone's emotions is a silver lining to a cloudy afternoon at least hmmgrin

Thepoodoctor Mon 23-Sep-13 16:43:58

Summer how old is he again?

thanks And hugs. DS had a truly epic meltdown Friday night but then brought me packets of Skittles, hugged me and promised to be nice to me for ever because he had been very nasty to me ...

Hes 7 and that seemed like the first inklings of an idea that hed upset me, which was something to celebrate for me too! So maybe you are seeing similar, and if you are it's a very good sign.

FrussoHathor Mon 23-Sep-13 16:48:45

((Hugs)) summer

SummerRain Mon 23-Sep-13 16:51:21

7 as well smile

Ds1 is always great at coming from a cuddle when he calms down but it's always been for his benefit as opposed to a proper apology. He says sorry as he knows that's what's expected but he's only really sorry he feels bad, he has no concept of the fact that I feel horrendous after a meltdown too.

Sounds like your ds had a major breakthrough, hopefully ds1 noticing I was upset means we may reach that point at some point too.

SummerRain Mon 23-Sep-13 16:52:44

thanks frusso.

He's very pointedly not asking for his laptop back which is amusing me somewhat, normally he'd be whinging for it by now grin

PolterGoose Mon 23-Sep-13 16:55:03

Summer that is a good sign smile

youarewinning Mon 23-Sep-13 17:11:49

summer what a nice move forward. smile

Well; I am still in shock Met DS current teacher and new SENCo this evening and think everything will actually be OK. They were really able to understand DS difficulties and what he needs and understand that he will be mostly OK all the time everything is in place and so it is important it remains that way.
The SENCo is going on a therapeutic story writing course run by Ed Pyschs in November and then launching it in school - DS is already booked onto the first set of interventions and the EP's will be there so she said they may have other insights in how to support him. Going to ensure all visual aids are available and reminders for him, ELSA support during morning break and attend lunchtime club (basically he's not allowed out!) everyday as the hour lunchtime is too much for him and usually where it all goes wrong!
EVEN agreed when I said it's important to think about his secondary education as I have to apply next year and as a local secondary which has raised it's standards dramatically has become an academy - a maths and technology academy and has a great SEN unit she has said she can support an application for here on a psychological and medical needs basis if that's what I want. (its not my catchment school) She agrees somewhere that specialises in his strengths (he's already a 4B maths) and can support his weaknesses (he's a 2B/A writer!) is perfect!

Actually feel positive.

PolterGoose Mon 23-Sep-13 17:18:16

That's fab youare smile

I've just made 8 blueberry muffins and they are all for me as dp and ds won't eat them <evil cackle>

Thepoodoctor Mon 23-Sep-13 17:24:39

Brilliant Summer - I know just what you mean and there is definitely a difference in DS recent responses.

He has also been noticeably bothered lately by the realisation that if he upsets someone at school, their mum might be cross with me - a revelation smile

So lets hope it's a maturity thing and we will see more of it!

Galena Mon 23-Sep-13 17:58:39

There's definitely a testosterone surge around 7 and also children begin to be aware of others' mortality at that age too, so a greater awareness of their feelings could well be linked I guess. Whether it's related or not, it's still positive!

Ahem, polter, I like blueberry muffins!

I've just had DD's IEP. The first 3 are basically settling in, and the last is to 'work on Phase 3 Letters and Sounds graphemes when spelling words'. So glad they've chosen to use her iEP for stretching her educationally. smile

Trigglesx Mon 23-Sep-13 19:58:30

We've had a massive meltdown tonight. EH bought the new Disney Infinity for the DCs (which was lovely of him to do), but when he brought it over, he was just not stealthy enough and they spotted it. DS1 was not happy about not being able to spend all evening on it. It didn't go over well. hmm

I must teach EH how to be more stealthy. It's a skill.

SummerRain Mon 23-Sep-13 20:18:04

If he's anything like my dp he probably doesn't have the natural capacity for stealth. It's like rolling your tongue, you can either do it or you can't but you can't learn wink

I hope things have calmed down now wine

PolterGoose Mon 23-Sep-13 20:32:02

Galena the muffins are disappointingly bland, am especially annoyed as they were poncey organic blueberries sad

Triggles wine

Galena Mon 23-Sep-13 20:37:05

Yes, but it's cake. I could stick icecream and baileys on top grin

Triggles, many men just dont 'get' stealth... Bloody annoying though!

Trigglesx Mon 23-Sep-13 21:12:53

Well, I think poor DS1 is having an allergic reaction to the horses (class had RDA today). Can you develop an allergy to horsehair? It's the only thing even vaguely allergy-inducing that I can think of. No new detergents (and even if there were - ALL clothes were washed in it, so the rash would be on legs and feet as well, I would think), no new foods, nothing else that he's been exposed to that I can think of.

His chest and back are covered with a flat rash, red with very small blotches, that is itching all over. I've put his eczema cream on it, which seems to have helped a bit, but rang a chemist who said he can't have Piriton because of his melatonin.

Here's hoping it's just anxiety or something - I'll keep track of it in my diary. I know he was itchy last week one day, but can't remember what day. He's loving the RDA stuff this year, so will be gutted if we have to cancel (although perhaps he can take something ahead of time if we discover it is the horses?)

SummerRain Mon 23-Sep-13 21:16:13

Both my boys get nasty viral rashes. Sometimes they show no other signs of illness, just severe uticaria (sp?)

Trigglesx Mon 23-Sep-13 21:17:29

Hmmmmm.... I'll have to keep an eye on it. I don't want to deal with a virus, either! <wail>

PolterGoose Mon 23-Sep-13 21:18:23

Allergy to horses isn't uncommon, ask your GP about different antihistamines, the most common, Cetirizine or Loratidine, can be taken in the morning and last all day, ds has been on Cetirizine since he was 3 for his hayfever and related asthma. This Calendula cream is very good.

PolterGoose Mon 23-Sep-13 21:19:16

Are you sure it's not allergic urticaria Summer?

Trigglesx Mon 23-Sep-13 21:21:21

I'll ask about it, Polter thanks. His meds list just keeps growing, I'm starting to get concerned about meds interacting, although I know there are other children on loads more.

SummerRain Mon 23-Sep-13 21:26:12

No, they nearly always get it alongside an obvious bug. And the few times it's on it's own they're usually a bit 'off' and might come down with the bug a few days later.

I had ds2 in and out of the docs last year during a vomiting bug as he was covered in hives the size of my palm and the antihistamines I'd been given weren't doing squat.

PolterGoose Mon 23-Sep-13 22:25:36

How odd and horrid too Summer, I get allergic urticaria and it is unbearable.

If anyone is interested in why I love 'The Explosive Child' book so much, I've found a PDF of the author's philosophy, thread here

SummerRain Mon 23-Sep-13 23:09:33

dp and the kids are all atopic so tend to react to a lot of things, dd and ds1 were CMP intolerant when younger and dd was intolerant to wheat for a long time, she had severe gut reactions. dp and dd are asthmatic, ds2 looks like he's heading that way.

Our lovely gp and the OOH doctor during the vomiting bug incident both said he was having an allergic reaction to the virus itself, hence the hives. So in a way it is allergic urticaria, but in response to the virus as opposed to an external trigger. Luckily we finally found an antihistamine that worked (neoclarityn) so now as soon as I see it starting I can dose them with that and hopefully prevent it ever getting as bad again.

Triggles, my dd is on a fair few meds too for the asthma and bed-wetting (and she's my NT child!) and I know what you mean about worrying about interactions but most doctors i've come across have been quite careful when prescribing and checked out contraindicated meds and considered carefully what to prescribe. My attitude is if it makes her feel better and more able to lead a normal life then the slight risk is worth it, I keep an eye out and give her breaks from the ones I can like the asthma preventers.

youarewinning Tue 24-Sep-13 07:02:31

DS gets a rash to certain animals - plus eye swelling and nasal congestion. Severe nose bleed thrown in last time! He has eosinophillic disease (allergis disease) and has an epipen after previous anaphylactic shock.
Cetirizine is a better antihistamine as it's a long lasting (once a day dose). Not sure if you can try this or not due to melatonin? If not try an excema type cream - we use doublebase as the urticarial can leave dry skin. Hope he's better this morning.

And yes - the excessive medications can be a worry. During a bad period my DS takes 2-5 laxido sachets, cetirizine, nasobec, chlorphenamine and paracetamol!

SallyBear Tue 24-Sep-13 07:18:45

Oooh Summer!! hmm

Thepoodoctor Tue 24-Sep-13 09:26:14

Morning all.

Just found out the ed psych is coming to observe DS today or rather to do a 'pre observation' visit (?)

Suddenly I feel less worried about the fact that hes gone into school in a foul temper. Very odd feeling to want him to 'fail'!

FrussoHathor Tue 24-Sep-13 09:46:58

I see it less as wanting them to fail and more as him successfully demonstrating why he needs help. grin of course we don't want them to fail, but the ed psych (and others) need to see him on a bad day to see why they need support.

SummerRain Tue 24-Sep-13 09:49:37

Thepoo.... perfectly natural though, there's nothing worse than getting and appointment with one of these people and the child acting perfectly normally. ds1 is awful for that as when he's in a new situation he tends to get quiet and calm... so the exact opposite of his usual self in other words. HCPs only see him acting normal for him if they meet him a few times.

Sally, was the hmm in reference to the asthma preventers? dd is quite mild so I give her the odd break from the preventer as I'm not comfortable with the constant steroid use. On the preventer she doesn't use her salbutomol at all and her lungs are quite healthy, unlike dp who still wheezes and needs his blue inhaler several times a day on them. She has her blue on her at all times so she's at no risk and her body needs a break from the beclazone occasionally. If she were more severe I'd feel differently but she only wheezes if she's ill or if she does exercise.

Thepoodoctor Tue 24-Sep-13 10:07:37

Thank you! Yes DS tends to be annoyingly well behaved with professionals too. He was a bloody ANGEL in his ADOS assessment confused

At least if he's awful today I shall feel it was worth it - but will also be very sorry for him as he's generally freaked by strange people appearing in the playground.

Ah well, DD is going for tea elsewhere so I have the chance to bring DS home and make much of him smile

Thank you for the Explosive Child extract Polter. Just been re reading the early chapters and thinking what bloody good sense they are. DS does struggle with the specifics of Plan B - does yours? - but the principle of the thing is magic.

Ilisten2theradio Tue 24-Sep-13 12:25:54

I had a look at this conversation last night as we weren't around at the weekend and didn't get far past the first page as DS and I spent ages watching all the links.
Dinner was pretty late as a result smile.

So here is hoping that we all have better weeks this time. I think that recognising emotions does come but slower and much later than you would normally see. DS(12) now very definitely recognises my emotions a lot of the time. - its just he has no idea what to do with them when he does. We spend a lot of time talking about it - so I will explain that when xyz happens this is how it affects me and this is what I feel. - If that were to happen to you do you think it might have that effect on you?
Sometimes he gets it, sometimes he doesn't - its a bit hit and miss.

DS was sent home from school on Friday ill, and I was supposed to have met the new SENCO that afternoon. Obviously that was cancelled. I left her a message asking her to call and rearrange. - no call yet. Do I really have to do the chasing [sigh]? But of course I do as I want them to get their fingers out and start all the OT exercises up again and the social skills stuff and the touch typing lessons and.... Why can't they just carry on like last year? Bloody high schools!

So after an aborted trip last Friday when DS was sent home ill, I'm hoping to get back to the British Museum again this evening after work to see the Pompeii and Herculaneum exhibition which I had literally just entered when school rang. DH is working from home today so I can go.
Fingers crossed I get to go.

Thepoodoctor Tue 24-Sep-13 14:27:31

Oh good luck with the exhibition radio! I'd love to see that but we are nowhere near London.

Well, the ed psych just rang me on my mobile! She has seen DS this morning and thinks the school definitely have a case for needing more support (what did he DO? smile), and as she has a cancellation, can I meet with her and school tomorrow to start things moving? Fantastic!

Not supposed to be this easy, is it? As ever I have that mixed feeling of 'thank god someone has recognised there really is a problem' and 'oh shit, there really is a problem isn't there?!'

youarewinning Tue 24-Sep-13 17:12:32

Oh typical! After the discussion on allergies DS woke this morning fully congested with his eyes swollen shut! Apparently pollen count is very high atm.

Seems to have had a good day though.

Any advice on how to get him to remember to bring things home? Yesterdays school jumper is there, todays replacement top is there plus his lunchbox!!!! <sigh!>

Trigglesx Tue 24-Sep-13 18:29:08

Oh, I am so jealous! We loved the British Museum (DD and I) when we went to London. It would be so nice to live close by where we could go whenever we wanted. I had to practically drag her out of the Egyptian stuff. grin

Thanks for all the advice regarding DS1's rash. I do think it's allergen related, just not certain to what, although I'm casting a suspicious eye on the horse. hmm <-- that's my suspicious eye grin The chemist seemed to think that the melatonin would not be good with any antihistamine or allergy related product. He's got an appointment with the paed in a few weeks, so I'll check with her. There's nothing that he's taking that I can give him a break on - if he misses a few asthma meds over the course of a few days (not even in a row, just a couple various doses), it's very obvious that as he starts coughing at night and has more problems during the day. The dose he is on controls it very well, but there's definitely no wiggle room there at all.

hazeyjane Tue 24-Sep-13 18:45:38

Talking of ever growing meds lists, ds has just had his hyoscine dose double, due to suddenly soaking 3 or 4 tshirts a day with dribble. He has also had ranitidine added to his meds, as his reflux seems to be getting worse again. Bringing daily meds up to

hyoscine 2 x a day
domperidon 3 x a day
ranitidine 2 x a day
lansoprazole 1 x a day
melatonin 1 x a day
augmentin 3 x a day (6 weeks on 6 weeks off)
lactulose as and when needed.


DontSweatTheSmallStuff Tue 24-Sep-13 18:54:56

Thanks all for the welcome and the winebrew and cake. So much of what you have said about your dc's is making me nod, sounds like ds1.

Summer - left shattered, weepy and wondering what the fuck to do wine know that feeling alot at the moment.

Polter - all any any advice is welcome at the moment. I (and dh) feel seriously out of our depth right now.

Poo - this is the new school, he was informally excluded a few times at the old one which we've since found out was a bit naughty of them.

Trigglesx - your ds sounds alot like mine, getting more volitile in the last year, switching from extremes, and the whole "worst day of my life" stuff.

Ds1 is back at school this week on a reduced timetable and with 1:1 support. Unfortunately there's not much learning at the moment, the focus is on just getting him settled and happy at being in the school at all. At least he wants to go now. He spent most of the first few days running out of the class and refusing to go back in anyway so it's progress i hope

youarewinning Tue 24-Sep-13 19:42:09

That is progress don'tsweat I've read people on here say before when you have a child with SN you have to look at achievements differently. What may be something expected and fairly simple for an NT child is a massive milestone for our children.

I always think of it as making the achievement all that much greater.

Trigglesx Tue 24-Sep-13 19:44:45

DontSweat DS1 does seem to walk a tightrope quite a lot - a slightly wobble one way or the other tends to send him careening into a meltdown.

I was limiting his time on the nexus quite a bit in the evenings, but I've found recently that if I let him have a longer time, and just maintain the countdown so he knows his finish time is coming up, he'll finish up with minimal protest most evenings. It gives him a bit more "down time" this way and he's much less screechy during bedtime routine.

He has always been (and still is) a child that needs constant input when it comes to doing things - you have to keep up the banter and chatter so that he doesn't have time to argue with you and so he's moved along smoothly. One stutter and it all comes tumbling down. (which is why EH struggles so much getting him through his bedtime routine) I am chattering away to DS1 while gently encouraging him to brush his teeth, etc, while EH just says "ok brush your teeth." hmm DS1 is instantly overwhelmed - can't coordinate the steps to prepare the toothbrush and then begin brushing, so immediately decides "no. can't do this" and refuses. EH gets irate and everything falls spectacularly to shit. And don't say "just point it out to EH" as he just doesn't get it. I have mentioned it. Repeatedly. hmm

Rash is better tonight. Slight itching but the red blotchies (is that a word? confused) are gone. We'll see if they make a reappearance next week. (we need a detective or sleuth smiley)

Trigglesx Tue 24-Sep-13 19:55:38

Oh, meant to mention an odd moment I had this week. EH and I took the boys to the supermarket (yes, long story there, but beside the point). Anyway, because it was Tesco, and our local Tesco does not have the lovely wheelchair trolleys for children to sit in, we used a regular trolley and I pushed DS1 in his wheelchair.

I know, he's a runner, you say. Why a wheelchair? Because, as discussed with OT who agreed, he gets sensory overload in busy noisy loud bright places - supermarket definitely qualifies!! And then he either has a meltdown, completely loses it in a "must touch everything, must screech repeatedly", or he throws himself down on the floor and refuses to get up because he can't cope. None of which are great in Tesco, to be fair. He also has hypermobility and again, as discussed with OT, he gets easily tired when walking around much. He's a runner, but short bursts and hides, more short bursts and hides. We haven't been able to verify if he is in actual pain when he gets upset over walking, as his pain threshold is all messed up. But he definitely gets tired and starts tripping and walking a bit oddly.

So.. anyway. He doesn't use this wheelchair at school. There are no "long distances" he needs to go there, and if they have a trip where they will do a lot of walking, most of the children struggle with that, so they are careful to break it up and allow them time to rest. They also know I have the wheelchair if they need it, and all they have to do is ask me to leave it for them to use for the day.

When in Tesco, we ran into (not literally, mind you) DS1's assistant headteacher who seemed slightly surprised that he was in the wheelchair. I simply said "he struggles to cope in the supermarket, so this is easier for him" and let it go at that. Do you think she thinks we're nutters? She's never really seen him in the wheelchair, knows him as a runner, and must be thinking we're very odd. But I would happily tell her what a difference it makes for him to feel a bit secure when we go places and how I do NOT enjoy flipping him over my shoulder kicking and screaming and carrying him while holding onto a four year old as well when we're out and about, when he could be safe, secure, and happy in the wheelchair. I've done injury to my back so many times in this way, I have lost count.

Thoughts? Opinions? Worried about nothing? (don't worry, it's not the first time that's happened, I'm sure it won't be the last!) grin

Trigglesx Tue 24-Sep-13 20:58:27

<sob> I've killed the thread. I'm sorry! I'll shut up. Come back, come back!! (oooh, weird Titanic flashbacks there - come back jack!!)

hazeyjane Tue 24-Sep-13 22:21:17

Not killed the thread Triggles, I just can't stop torturing myself reading this thread and the thread it links to.

Now I am going to go back and read your post!

hazeyjane Tue 24-Sep-13 22:27:23

I would vote for the 'worried about nothing'

But would worry about it in exactly the same way as you!

PolterGoose Tue 24-Sep-13 22:38:48

Agree with hazey now off to look at that thread...

zzzzz Tue 24-Sep-13 22:52:28

hazeys thread link is just awful. AAAAAAARGH

Galena Tue 24-Sep-13 22:59:01

Will catch up at some point. DD's cold has now blossomed into earache which generally means a hideous night followed by a burst eardrum and a week of antibiotics. Marvellous.

Trigglesx Tue 24-Sep-13 23:01:31

Galena oh no - poor DD. Hope it doesn't get that bad and she's better soon. Earaches are no fun (struggled with one and an associated sinus infection all summer holiday).

Trigglesx Tue 24-Sep-13 23:01:57

off to look at the thread linked... I shouldn't... but I will... grin

zzzzz Tue 24-Sep-13 23:18:02

Stunned, is how I feel.

FrussoHathor Wed 25-Sep-13 08:15:36

triggles you have just described my dd!

moosemama Wed 25-Sep-13 08:26:41

I came to that thread early last night, but had to switch off the laptop to stop myself typing something I'd regret. It was just too upsetting and I'm not up to getting involved in that sort of fight at the moment. sad

Just popped back in when I saw Hazey's link and am also stunned at just how badly the thread continued.

Just reinforces the reason why so many of us feel the need to hide in here and why we can't discuss our dcs on the main Education boards. sad angry

hazeyjane Wed 25-Sep-13 09:22:57

It just depresses the hell out of me, that ds isn't even at primary school yet, and we have already had to deal with so many situations where preschool and nursery have decided that they 'know best' and that all children will respond to xy and z, even though every single professional and person that knows ds (including myself) has clearly stated that xy and z will not work with ds. It makes me fear for the future.

FrussoHathor Wed 25-Sep-13 09:36:22

It is depressing hazey just the thought that sometimes your child has to completely fail before they start listening to you. It's so fundamentally wrong.

SummerRain Wed 25-Sep-13 09:37:11

That thread is so alien to my experiences with the education system here in Ireland, I really feel for you guys dealing with that sort of a system. Our education system has flaws, massive ones, but the support we get from the school makes up for a lot of the systemic problems and they've always been on our side, even ringing me while they fill out forms to ask me what needs to be highlighted for him to get dx as they know ds1 presents very differently at home and school. I'm always grateful to the school for their support and willingness to work towards the boys' best interests but I'm feeling especially warm to them after reading that.

wine for all of you

FrussoHathor Wed 25-Sep-13 09:44:56

I had dds parents evening yesterday. Dd has friends. She's only been at her ss 3 weeks, and has a girl and a couple of boys that she plays with. And the boy is so similar to her, they play the same games with the same strange to an nt child anyway rigid reinactment rules. grin she has a friend

SummerRain Wed 25-Sep-13 09:50:01

Oh, ds2 would love your dd and her friend, he spends his days playing his 'game' that is basically just him acting out tv shows or video games in excruciating detail. Only ds1 is allowed to join in as the rest of us 'do it wrong' hmmgrin

Long may the friendship last, sounds like she's found a kindred spirit smile

I'm glad you had a good parents evening, ours are before hallowe'en and I'm dying to know what ds2's teacher makes of him grin

PolterGoose Wed 25-Sep-13 10:03:58

That's lovely Frusso grin

I suspect the wheels are falling off here, all through ds's school life so far the packed lunchers have eaten in their classrooms as the hall is small, now he's in Y6 they go in the hall with the hot meals eaters, sensory nightmare for ds, and which may have contributed to him hitting his friend yesterday, so now I need to have words... he is supposed to have 1-1 at lunchtime so it shouldn't, in theory, be a problem to organise some alternative. It's another of those little things that have a big impact.

Trigglesx Wed 25-Sep-13 10:13:24

Only ds1 is allowed to join in as the rest of us 'do it wrong'

This made me laugh - mainly because I get this from both DS1 (with SNs) AND DS2 (NT). grin

Frusso That's so good that she has friends.

I used to get a bit frustrated at the MS school (even as brilliant as they were with DS1) because the gap between DS1 and the other children had reached a point where they were treating him a bit like a little brother (or, dare I say, loved pet? hmm) but not in a mean way. I'm not quite sure how to say it - they loved him, and whenever they've seen him out and about, they're still very excited and happy to see him and chatter away. But on a daily basis, it was obvious that they treated him slightly different than their "friends"... not BAD, mind you, just different. I'm not sure if that makes sense to anyone.

Anyway, the children at the SS, even those a bit older than DS1, treat him as an equal friend - which is so much different and really nice, as I can see him responding to it much better.

Trigglesx Wed 25-Sep-13 10:14:09

Sorry, I meant to add that this friendship thing (equal footing and such) is IMO where inclusion in MS fails some children.

SummerRain Wed 25-Sep-13 10:17:00

Triggles, I totally get what you mean. ds2 gets the same. The other kids, older and his classmates, love him and treat him kindly but there's a lot of head rubbing and treating him like a pet or a younger sibling. It's not nasty in any way but it does highlight just how obvious his differences are to them.

zzzzz Wed 25-Sep-13 10:19:21

"Loved pet" is exactly how ds1 was treated at school.

I am so envy I so wish ds1 had a friend. sad

grin at the no keeping to the script. Only ds2 can manage ds1s scripts.....the joys of twins.

Trigglesx Wed 25-Sep-13 10:27:26

DS2 tends to drag DS1 kicking and screaming into "imaginary play." It's quite funny - DS1 used to put up a huge fight over it, but DS2 was determined. Now DS1 does a growly sigh and joins in. grin

okthatsweird Wed 25-Sep-13 10:30:11

Bit early so I'll just have a shandy please smile <<goes down in one>> I think there may be trouble abrewing at Ds's school....his new wonderful, helpful, seems to actually get Ds TA has mysteriously vanished! sad

He is devastated! She made everything so much easier for him, because she likes things written down just like him (his words). Cue no sign of his home/school diary to help him organize himself for over a week (he knows where it is but daren't just take it because it's stealing), losing his reading book, homework, forgetting to bring his swimming kit home, losing his break times to complete his work, being shouted at by CT because he wasn't doing his work and repeated what TA usually does which helps him....being called a liar because of this....anxiety because he thinks he has gotten his TA in trouble because CT was cross with him. angry

We are creeping towards troublesome always starts with subtle delay tactics and works up to refusal and a lot of hard work to get him there...I have seen it so many bloody times before and it's always because of the feckin CT's not wanting to follow his IEP's.

I hope (in a very sadistic way) that she is poorly and not left for good he seemed so relaxed I can't begin to tell you so what ever she was doing she was doing right. I think it's time to arrange a meeting with SENCO and CT seeing as they didn't think it was important for us all to have a transition meeting before the start of this year.................What's that you say have another shandy weirdy.....oh why not, thanks wink

moosemama Wed 25-Sep-13 10:57:26

Okthatsweird, poor ds.

Can you just call the school and just ask them directly where she's gone? Even better a phone conversation with the SENCO to explain how well he was doing and what a huge difference she was making to his ability to cope and emotional state?

Thepoodoctor Wed 25-Sep-13 11:02:10

Oh god weirdy - wine

Didn't anyone TELL you? DS lovely TA has had to take time off, but they let us know, had us in, and introduced us to the stand in.

Poor lamb. Hope you can get some sense out of the school.

Frusso that's brilliant DD has friends! smile

Ed psych at noon. I have my battle gear on - ie my smart work stuff. Don't know if this makes me not-to-be-fobbed-off parent or smart-arse-know-it-all parent. I will resist insisting on being addressed as Dr Poo rather than Mrs I think smile (usually just first name is my preference but I had become Mrs Poo on the phone!)

Galena Wed 25-Sep-13 11:07:25

DD was still droopy and weepy this morning, so no school. Mid morning she perked up. Only one reason for that I could think of... I checked her ear and sure enough, another perforated eardrum. <sigh>

Off out in a mo to pick up prescription, pick up some books I ordered from playgroup, drop off prescription, drop off letters, drop off parcel, pick up antibiotics and then home.

Can I join in with the shandies please, weirdy!

Thepoodoctor Wed 25-Sep-13 11:22:09

Ouch, poor DD!

Hope it gets better once the eardrum has burst?

Galena Wed 25-Sep-13 11:26:47

Yeah, I was hoping it would in a way because as soon as it bursts the pressure goes and she perks up. When she was complaining last night, I knew we'd have about 12 hours of pain then it would go - it's what always happens.

(Which is why I was so cross at Easter when we were on holiday and took her to Out Of Hours to get some antibiotics on Easter Monday knowing her eardrum would perforate overnight. Dr said she wouldn't give antibiotics because it wasn't going to perforate. Sure enough, middle of the night, screaming child, then gunky ear, and peace... Back to the local doctor the following morning who said 'Ooh, that looks nasty, you should have come sooner!' GRRRRRRRR!)

Thepoodoctor Wed 25-Sep-13 11:35:44

Yup been there done that with tonsils rather than ears.

My dad who is a good GP says its always worth listening to Mum!

Trigglesx Wed 25-Sep-13 11:36:31

Galena Oh no... don't you hate it when they don't listen?? (drs I mean)

zzzzz Wed 25-Sep-13 13:14:14

brew of whiskey.


<falsetto Fight the good fight with all your might la la la laaaa..... >

Galena Wed 25-Sep-13 13:47:40

ARGH! Got DD's op date adn they've brought it forward by 2 weeks! 22nd October! EEKEEKEEKEEKEEK! ARGH!

SummerRain Wed 25-Sep-13 13:57:07

That's my mother's birthday grin

Breathe, sooner is good. It's 2 weeks more recovery before xmas, it's 2 weeks less panicking in advance, it's nearer midterm so might work out as less time off school overall, it's less likely to be as cold and frosty on the drive to hospital.

I'm sure we can think of more grin

Galena Wed 25-Sep-13 14:14:21

Keep them coming! I can't see many positives...

We'll miss my mum's 70th birthday celebration on the 2nd Nov.
I don't care about time off school - she's only in Reception.
Halfterm before would mean she's less likely to have her op cancelled due to a cold.
We're in from the night before so no frosty morning drive down on the day.

okthatsweird Wed 25-Sep-13 14:17:57

I'll get a round in so everyone can have an afternoon tipple.

Thepoo <<chuckles to herself like a mad woman at name>> Don't be ridiculous!! why would they tell me?? Ds only struggles greatly with change angry.......May need a whiskey chaser with this shandy.

AND I have just had the computer says nooooo to SA letter from LA because the school are apparently providing adequate support for my Ds using their own resources, and Ds is known by all agencies confused......pants! Big spotty bloody granny pants!!

Galena Wed 25-Sep-13 15:26:41

ARGH! Panic setting in already!

Weirdy, tribunal time! Clearly record all his needs and all the support he needs to make progress, and then point out exactly why the school can't meet those needs. And try to get professionals on side too!

FrussoHathor Wed 25-Sep-13 15:44:52

Yes to loved pet. It's was either that or "she's naughty" or both, or playing with her because it got them attention from her 1:1. Or tolerated. <shrugs>
I love her ss simply because she isnt the odd one, or the naughty one, or different.
It's okay for her to be herself. And she's learning names. And making friends because it's okay to play what she wants if she has someone who plays the same, with the same invisible rules.

okthatsweird Wed 25-Sep-13 16:38:42

I know Galena I'm frightened!!!

Well either I am being watched on here (which knowing my luck I am!) or it's purely coincidence but Ds's TA is back! His homework and reading book have reappeared and he is managing to complete his work again all by himself......but his diary has been withdrawn at HT's request because a) it can be confusing for CT to have to read a diary every morning even though it was for Ds's benefit to help with his organisation skills confused b) it's a whole school thing that they don't do a home/school diary because after all every Dc in this Ms school has SEN confused c) The TA did not discuss it with CT before starting it.

CT is happy to chat with me before/after school though so I must not think HT/CT want everything verbal so it can turn into empty promises like it has so many times before she is against communicating with me as a parent. WAY-HEY!!!

moosemama Wed 25-Sep-13 17:14:52

<<passes large shandy and double whiskey to weird>>

Honestly, it's enough to make your blood boil isn't it.

AS for after school chat's, I always find handing her a note in the morning of what you would like to discuss after school is always useful and creates a lovely paper-trail. wink Then of course it's only polite to write a note confirming what was agreed - don't you think? wink

Galena Wed 25-Sep-13 17:20:00

Whereas our school was perfectly happy to set up a communication book for DD (of course, it helps that her TA isn't in before 9:15 so there's another one for 8:55-9:15 so I'd have to rely on her passing things on otherwise.)

Having said that, I've just exchanged emails with the head about an appointment for the next day or two to talk to her, and we're on first name terms... grin

okthatsweird Wed 25-Sep-13 17:21:36

Cheers moosemama <<slurp>> sorry, just realised I am taking over the whole pub with my wingey whining blush Good idea, that was something else she said I don't mind writing a note or you sending me a note what's the difference with a diary?....backwards they are backwards.


hazeyjane Wed 25-Sep-13 17:24:14

I have had such a fucking hard day, could I just have a couple of honks, some wine and chocolate and a comfy chair in the corner.

Galena Wed 25-Sep-13 17:31:35

Honkety Honk honk!

<Passes hazey some wine , some chocolate and points her towards a chair by the fire>

Don't worry about taking over the pub, room here for all whinges!

moosemama Wed 25-Sep-13 17:40:15

You go ahead and rant/whinge/whine - whatever you need. I totally monopolised last week's thread when things were going with ds1's secondary transition.

Hazey - honk, honk, honk! wine [chocolate] [huge squishy armchair, with fluffy throw in front of a lovely open fire]

PolterGoose Wed 25-Sep-13 17:52:42

A flock of HONKs for hazey and wine brew cake for everyone.

Ds surprised me after school by telling me him and best friend are still best friends even though they don't play together at school shock this is quite huge as he has always previously staunchly believed that to be a friend you must like doing identical things grin

Galena Wed 25-Sep-13 17:55:11

Advice please. DD has seemed much better since her eardrum went. School tomorrow, yay! Or so I thought. She ate her dinner very happily, coughed a bit, had a banana, coughed more and brought up most of her dinner. She quite often does it when she has a cough. I don't think it's a bug.

Do I send her to school tomorrow?

zzzzz Wed 25-Sep-13 17:55:34

Hey hazey, can I join you?

zzzzz Wed 25-Sep-13 17:57:11

I'd keep her home Galena, she doesn't sound in a fit state to have a good day.

Galena Wed 25-Sep-13 18:01:06

You're right zzzzz, of course. Thanks for talking sense into me, although she is absolutely fine in herself at the moment.

PolterGoose Wed 25-Sep-13 18:03:18

Wassup zzzzz?

zzzzz Wed 25-Sep-13 18:12:40

I don't know what's up really, the Tes thread, the 1:1 thread, the champaign not really doing much? So ridiculously depressing.

Is it too much to ask that people are just kind?

On the more positive side ds has settled down and is working again, and is talking up a storm.

Perhaps it's the weather? I feel glum.

zzzzz Wed 25-Sep-13 18:14:21

Campaign grin oh lord this iPad is pants. grin

Wasn't sure whether the Champagne wasn't doing much, or the champignon.

I see now it is the campaign

Galena Wed 25-Sep-13 18:19:51

We have a savage mushroom restaurant in Chelters... See? grin

zzzzz Wed 25-Sep-13 18:24:33

Shall I tell you one of the pathetic things I REALLY REALLY miss is going out for a really nice meal.

Trigglesx Wed 25-Sep-13 18:29:40

Pardon me while I scream. I so wanted to just shout FUCK OFF to this, with her going on about her nice middle class daughter having to associate with the miscreants (and poor people and those with SNs) in PRU. hmm I'll probably just get deleted anyway.

Perhaps I'm not in the right frame of mind to read AIBU tonight? grin

Galena Wed 25-Sep-13 18:36:18

Sorry, I've only read her first post and your last one, but I had to laugh. The little lovie is a good middle class girl with no poor parenting and yet she's being permanently excluded and sent to a PRU... Doesn't the daft brush realise that her daughter is just as disruptive and bolshy as the other kids there? They are all there for the same reasons!

No issues with parenting? My foot!

Oh, way to go to cheer us all up Triggy!!!!!

<Starlight goes for a peek coz she's in a similar mood to zzzzz and may as well drown alongside her and her mushrooms......>

Not sure if this will cheer you up but it made me laugh (though I may be being a bit indulgent with my 'middle class probably NT girl').

DD started reception last week. She is in a four form entry school and the full class STILL isn't in yet.

After break time on Monday, she and an accomplice (no doubt instigated by her) decided that another reception classroom had better toys and they went in there instead of to their own classroom on the basis that the teachers there wouldn't recognise that they weren't in that class yet.

Proud of her as well as horrified at her brazen attitude. Worried if it is a result of a neglectful upbringing though pleased the teacher didn't seem overly concerned and thankful above all that I don't (yet) have to fear for her self-esteem and mental health that has plagued me for so long with ds.

PolterGoose Wed 25-Sep-13 18:55:48

Triggles you are on top form, I posted on one of her previous threads but was completely ignored because I obviously didn't say what she wanted to hear. I am staying away. I work with a lot of adults like the young people she doesn't want her dd to mix with, and I am often in awe of their resilience and intelligence.

Star your dd is brilliant, that is so clever grin

FrussoHathor Wed 25-Sep-13 18:57:23

That's fantastic starlight she sounds like she's got her head screwed on and already knows how to play the system. grin

SummerRain Wed 25-Sep-13 18:57:42

grin starlight, resourceful wee monkey.

Ds2 came home from school with an encyclopedia today, apparently he chose it as his library book. I would have loved to have seen his teachers face grin

Galena, I'm on first name terms with all the teachers too. Have to be when we spend so much time on the phone!

PolterGoose Wed 25-Sep-13 19:00:46

Ggrrrr I've posted now, why oh why, I should stay away.

I might post.

I know that behaviour. I grew up with it in my sibling.

Parents were too in denial and afraid to involve professionals and tarnish their egos.

She might not be taking drugs now but she will be if her issues are left unaddressed.

Trigglesx Wed 25-Sep-13 19:06:17

Oooops. She didn't like my response. I personally think she's just shocked that her sweet little middle class girl might actually fit in the thugs she feels make up the PRU. hmm She wants someone to tell her there's a magic fix that won't involve her child mixing with the masses. grin

PolterGoose Wed 25-Sep-13 19:09:22

That is exactly it, the magic fix, unfortunately parenting is bloody hard work, whatever class you are.

moosemama Wed 25-Sep-13 19:20:59

Starlight, I like your dd's style! grin

PolterGoose Wed 25-Sep-13 19:22:05

hazey just in case you don't see it wondering if you can help this poster? It's about a bed and I know you've not long had ds's.

(and to be honest, she probably IS taking drugs regardless of what her mother thinks)

PolterGoose Wed 25-Sep-13 19:25:21

Star shock

Trigglesx Wed 25-Sep-13 19:27:14

Starlight I do feel sorry for her - we ALL worry about this type of thing - but I just do not understand the constant referral to her background and the whole "if this can happen to my dd, it can happen to anyone's"... and she seems to be dismissing the PRU out of hand based on her perceptions of it. It just screams "This isn't something I should have to deal with" IMO. confused I do think she is just hoping she can "shock" her daughter back into line...and I think she's deluding herself.

zzzzz Wed 25-Sep-13 19:35:11

I suspect she is the only one who doesn't understand that her background is not unusual for this type of behaviour. sad. Her world is changeing and she is fighting to stay the same.

FrussoHathor Wed 25-Sep-13 19:41:19

star there's a posh private all girls school near me that had a minor drugs problem a few years back.

PolterGoose Wed 25-Sep-13 19:45:59

I've hidden it now and should do that more often.

I dunno. At that age about a quarter of my school was dabbling in drugs. They're so easily available and a quick way to deal with anger and frustration.

Up the road was a MC private school (not especially well performing) and there I reckon HALF the kids were taking drugs, as they had more money between them.

None of the parents seemed to have any awareness at all.

I understand times have changed but I would find it difficult to believe that drugs availability had significantly reduced.

Oh yes Triggles I'm VERY frightened about the thought of my dd at reaching that age. She's got a bit of 'unusualness' about her that makes me think she will become frustrated at her lack of independence earlier than would be wise to give it to her.

zzzzz Wed 25-Sep-13 19:53:44

Why do you think so many posh girls have ponies, do ballet, or gymnastics? All three take up most of your time, keep you mostly single sex, and show up dips in performance very clearly.

And yes most public schools have regular issues with drugs/behaviour. It's puberty, not class.

FrussoHathor Wed 25-Sep-13 20:18:11

zzzzz because they both cost a lot of time and money and the parents like to show off by getting their dds to compete

PolterGoose Wed 25-Sep-13 20:19:49

It's puberty, not class

Absolutely, the biggest difference is the naice children tend to have more money to spend, certainly in my teens it was the most well off kids who usually had drugs, and because they could fund it they were less likely to resort to crime.

Polter Your post was deleted on that thread.

What on earth did you say?

zzzzz Wed 25-Sep-13 20:40:56

It isn't about showing off (or not for most) it's about control. The boys play rugby, cricket, row, etc. they train and if they take drugs it tends to show in their performance. The parents see it as safeguarding. Perhaps it is, I don't know.

The problem is if it does go wrong it tends to be disastrously so.

Trigglesx Wed 25-Sep-13 20:41:24

If it's the one I saw before it was deleted, she had quoted the nasty comment that the OP directed at me and then said a couple other things. But since the OP's comment was deleted, I suspect MNHQ deleted Polter's post simply because it had the quote on it.

PolterGoose Wed 25-Sep-13 20:43:10

I quoted the OP's personal attack on Triggles, and made a facetious comment about apple not falling far from tree. I knew I'd be deleted so thought I might as well make the most of it.

zzzzz Wed 25-Sep-13 20:43:35

Are you two stirring up trouble? We don't want MNHQ shutting us down. grin

Trigglesx Wed 25-Sep-13 20:44:20

Moi? stirring up trouble? grin Perish the thought.

PolterGoose Wed 25-Sep-13 20:44:56

^ she started it wink

zzzzz Wed 25-Sep-13 20:47:54

<looks shifty as she makes the momentous and rather topical decision whether to be a bad girl or not>


Trigglesx Wed 25-Sep-13 20:49:02

blush Possibly. I still maintain the OP started it. hmm

It's not my fault. It's my disadvantaged upbringing. (actually I was raised in a distinctly middle class household. shock)

FrussoHathor Wed 25-Sep-13 20:49:41

As long as she doesn't have to go near a pru with lowercase children with broken homes, in care, or sens hmm

Trigglesx Wed 25-Sep-13 20:50:40

lowercase? grin So they can't use capital letters?

oh god, I'm sorry. I just couldn't resist. grin

FrussoHathor Wed 25-Sep-13 20:51:42

Lowercase? Lower class.

Trigglesx Wed 25-Sep-13 20:53:49

I haven't had a drop of wine. I swear. (well, I do swear sometimes, but I shouldn't.)

It's been a long day. That's my excuse and I'm sticking with it. grin

zzzzz Wed 25-Sep-13 20:56:16

What's in between lowercase and UPPERCASE italics ? grin

And you can't believe how long that lame excuse for a joke took to post. grin

I feel for the OP on that thread. It's not like none of us don't understand even a little bit what it is like to feel we are 'loosing our children' and with no idea what to do about it.

Her words aren't too great, but then again, not every parent of a child with SN is a saint either.

FrussoHathor Wed 25-Sep-13 20:57:09


PolterGoose Wed 25-Sep-13 20:57:37

zzzzz I am shock that you managed fancy typography and no weird autocorrects in that post grin

PolterGoose Wed 25-Sep-13 20:58:47

That's very true Star but her denigration of 'other' is inexcusable.

zzzzz Wed 25-Sep-13 20:59:57

Perhaps my iPad is finally catching up with my lightning fast banana fingers.

FrussoHathor Wed 25-Sep-13 21:03:33

I know star but she did have a very biased view of what she thought a PRU was.

zzzzz Wed 25-Sep-13 21:03:38

She had the perfect little girl in's a long fall in her mind and she's floundering. I feel for her too, but she needs to go and see what it's like and face her new reality.

I know, but her reality isn't our reality. And it's probably not her fault.

She has to wake up yes, but why HER? Why has life done this to HER, when the rest of the MC Naice Mothers in her neighbourhood can going on in their little ignorant bubbles, with their offensive attitudes and smuggery without having to be yanked into a world that was not until then their reality?

I like to think I was respectful and considerate to children with disabilities and their parents, but even so I had many preconceived ideas about them and their lives that turned out to be quite the opposite of what I expected and some beliefs that I feel quite ashamed of now.

Trigglesx Wed 25-Sep-13 21:19:05

Star and I think we ALL get that.. we all understand it. But this is not something that has JUST happened to her. The police have been involved a few times and this has been going on for awhile. She didn't just wake up to it today.

And when you're looking for help, how silly is it to be verbally trashing half the people that may be willing to offer helpful advice?

Yes, she's probably desperate. But she was also rude and didn't care about that. You notice the minute I pointed out that she was focusing far too much on class issues and the like, she went nuclear. And seriously, the whole "how will this affect her future? her career?" Even now, she's still focusing on "what will other people think?" instead of "how can I help my daughter right now?" She refused to even consider that there was something more deep seated involved. confused

Trigglesx Wed 25-Sep-13 21:25:31

I do think that she is happier getting these types of comments that people are putting on there now:

Dont give up hope, of your DD waking up one day and suddenly changing

She'll come good in the end, she has the familial support and an excellent Mum. This too shall pass.

Supportive emotionally? I suppose. Helpful practically? Not really. She needs to make steps to see the PRU with and without her DD along, talk to them and find out what they will do... basically educate herself on what can and can't be done, and then make some tough decisions. Denial isn't helpful, as we all know.

Well there was too much deleting for me to know what that was all about.

But don't we get parents on this board, or most often Mothers complaining that their DH's won't accept that their child needs help, and that 'labels' will prevent them from going to medical school, despite the fact that their school can't manage their behaviour and they are currently non-verbal.

(not saying they won't go to medical school btw, only that they are failing to focus on the CURRENT needs).

zzzzz Wed 25-Sep-13 21:26:16

Me too star. But we learn and we change and we hopefully teach.

I got myself in an awful tearful muddle this weekend (I had a rare 50 mins to myself, what a waste!). I started off thinking about how nobody got what I really worry about ds1. Which is really about what happens when Dh and I die. How it changes very decision we make. I can cope with my parents and siblings not getting it. I find it harder that the children will never really understand. That the only way they could understand is if they had a child with similar issues. How not wanting that for them feels like I am betraying ds.

The truth is I did know all this on some level before I had children with sn, but I never understood, not really. So how can I blame people when they are daft and awful? I'd be somewhere like that if I'd been dealt a different hand.

zzzzz Wed 25-Sep-13 21:28:13

Sorry too slow. Me too was for the 21:12 post

Trigglesx Wed 25-Sep-13 21:28:43

Yes, but they're not banging on about them being middle class and saying they don't want their MC child slumming with the criminal element in the PRU either. hmm

And we generally DO point out to them that if they focus on the current needs, that it will be much less stressful for them at the moment.

'She'll come good in the end, she has the familial support and an excellent Mum. This too shall pass.'

My brother has an excellent Mum. He's never come good and is now 38 and getting worse.

Trigglesx Wed 25-Sep-13 21:30:58

I think to me it's frustrating because I can see it gives her false hope that it will all go away and she'll be in denial longer, which just leaves her daughter out there struggling still. How is that helpful to encourage?

No. You're right. I'm usually pretty harsh on SNMN about that because I see the child's chances slipping away and think that the Parents have no time to wallow in denial and false hope that things will sort out themselves magically.

SummerRain Wed 25-Sep-13 21:51:26

Can anyone help this lady with an OT report she doesn't understand?

Trigglesx Wed 25-Sep-13 22:06:01

EH here to visit DCs tonight. Disrupted schedule so much I forgot to give DS1 his melatonin. Actually went out into the kitchen, but got sidetracked and forgot it completely. Couldn't figure out why he just was not settling down - went out into kitchen as had a niggly doubt and no med syringe in the sink. I ALWAYS toss it in there. ALWAYS. And I leave it there until later so I know I've done it. So I hadn't given it to him. He's now just finally dropped off, sleeping, over 2 hours late.

I had a bit of a go at EH because he rushed DS1's bedtime so much at 8pm that he was reading to him at breakneck speed in a monotone voice just to get story done and kept saying "hurry up, Daddy has to get going." hmm So I've told him if he can't do the bedtime routine properly, don't stay around for it. It just agitates DS1 otherwise. EH wanted to get back for a tv programme!! angry he is here for their bedtime ONE bloody night a week, and he's being this way over a stupid tv programme?? He has TIVO FFS. It's not like he can't record it. He's just being impatient as he doesn't want to take the time to give them proper attention. And he had the nerve to slag off another bloke we know about how he treats his kids now that his relationship has broken apart. hmm

youarewinning Wed 25-Sep-13 22:26:12


Feeling sorry for myself tonight! Had a bloody tooth abscess for weeks. Had AB, x ray showed still a pea sized abscess so yesterday went for root canal to drain it. She couldn't clear it all so its left open, some cotton inside to soak it up and 2 lots of AB for a week. Back in 2 weeks to see how it's doing. hmm

DS been OK but not settling at night - just awake, he doesn't make a fuss, call meet just tosses and turns. Thought it may be anxiousness and his teacher told me today he's been asking to stay in at breaktimes the past few days. He already does 'lunchtime club' (chooses 1 buddy to go into ICT suite with him) as he can't cope with an hours lunchtime.

Also after school club witnessed an incident today with 3-4 children hassling DS over the whereabouts of another childs homework book. DS clearly on edge of fight or flight but she intervened. Turns out he had this lads book because he asked DS to do his homework for him but DS came to his senses on the way out of class and so put the book on the stairs and left it there!

Trigglesx Wed 25-Sep-13 22:28:11

youarewinning oh sympathies to you. I'm still waiting to get in to see dentist for 2 cracked teeth. No fun, these dental things.

FrussoHathor Wed 25-Sep-13 22:47:34

Don't mention the dentist. Dd has the dentist tomorrow after school. only to get a referral to the SN dentist it's going to be a nightmare even getting dd in the building.

Dd is building up to a meltdown of epic proportion. I could feel the tension seeping out of her when I put her to bed. She's like a curled up sping, winding tighter and tighter. I estimate the storm will hit before the weekend, and it is not going to be pretty. sad confused

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved Wed 25-Sep-13 23:08:20

She seems to have riled alot of people on here but I felt really sorry for her sad i think she maybe pressed a few buttons for people that arent so personal for me.

Anyway, that wasn't my point! One thing she said rang true to me... as a *universal insight*:

Minifingers Wed 25-Sep-13 16:59:24
"I reckon people look at me and it strikes the fear of god into them: if it could happen to her dd, it could happen to mine. So they search around to see if they can identify a fault with my parenting "

As this is exactly the way some people react about my disability, especially when I was first got ill and had to tell people that didn't want to hear it that I wasn't just being a bit wet behind the ears, that I had become severely disabled in months, before their very eyes, and no, there is no happy ending, and yes, my while life has fallen apart.

People, friends and work mainly, they made alot of mental leaps and contortions to make themselves 'immune' from the fate that had befallen me, and blamed me in all sorts of ways. It allowed them to find things that made me not the same as them, to distance themselves from me, to make me into the other, to stop calling me, seeing me, lending a hand. It fucking hurt.

Still does. It's really lonely, being kicked out of the life you'd made for yourself, no one that will be willing or able to say, yes, that's shit, always having to watch what I say, what problems to share because someone at some point will always try and blame me or devalue my experience, or belittle my feelings.

It's my fault because
- should have married a man who would stay with me when I got ill (like I chose not to?)
- should have realised there was something 'wrong' with me before (my sister died before she got anyone to think about diagnosing & treating her its so rare, but obviously I should have just known)
- should have got insurance (I did, didn't pay out though)
- I shouldn't have had a baby (although my condition only diagnosed after he was born)
- I shouldn't have chosen a high pressure career as I effectively speeded up my doom (again, does this random scenario feature in careers choices?)
- I should t have got into debt by extending mat leave (when I was too ill to go back, husband had long gone & no way of existing except to look after my baby & hope I got better like they said I was going to and be able to work full time to pay it off after)

It really ficking hurts how people kicked me when my life collapsed, no matter how kind or supportive a friend I'd been, out of their lives like I was something gross and dirty.

Sorry having a bad week, very ill and in pain and struggling and scared, and sodding alone.

According to the 1:1 thread, I'm possessed.

Am I?

I really think I might be.

zzzzz Thu 26-Sep-13 01:04:42

No your not. But you are funny.

I need whiskey.


Good grief! Whiskey is a GREAT idea.

Damn them teachers. Anyone would think it was a conspiracy to keep me up late and make me an ineffective parent just so they can point their fingers.

zzzzz Thu 26-Sep-13 01:16:30

Being possessed was funny. The whiskey is looking at me. It would be a dreadful move, it's swimming tomorrow. Grim.

The teachers are weird. I'm not sure what to say to someone who just "want acknowledgement that MANY schools do the absolute best for SEN children".......... Um I'd settle for a FEW schools.

zzzzz Thu 26-Sep-13 01:17:43

And I meant "you're" not "your" obviously.

Hmm, how to make MANY into few?

..............I'll ask my Autism Advisory teacher, she is able to make Many meetings into Few outcomes

zzzzz Thu 26-Sep-13 01:38:58

Go to bed, or this'll turn into a lock-in.

Trigglesx Thu 26-Sep-13 07:17:47

No school is perfect obviously. Even at the MS school that DS1 went to, which was brilliant, there were still blips that I had to sort quickly and one or two instances where they overstepped their bounds that I had to rein in very quickly. I can see where if a parent didn't keep a close eye on things, then conditions could slip little by little as boundaries are moved a bit. But then, as a parent, I anticipate that it's ultimately my job to be involved and know what's going on. I also expect the school to do what's right as well though.

Trigglesx Thu 26-Sep-13 07:23:16

Oh, I was going to make a point re teachers. DS1 had teachers that job shared in reception. One teacher was a bit old school in the classroom and very disciplinarian, which meant she and DS1 were a bit of a shaky mix as he could not sit still, be quiet, follow instructions, etc. The second teacher was brilliant in dealing with DS1 in the classroom, very calm and creative and pleasant no matter what DS1 did.

In meetings, however, it was the first teacher that I wanted there. She was brutally honest (not cruel, but didn't sugar coat things at all) about things DS1 was struggling with and what interventions worked and what didn't. She was also great at coming up with ideas for methods to use in the classroom to help DS1 cope. The second teacher would come into the meetings all pleasant and cheery, overly optimistic and would often give the impression he was doing much better than he actually was.

All in all, an interesting insight for me into the difference the teacher can make in all areas.

SummerRain Thu 26-Sep-13 10:23:52

The infants teacher at our school (also the principal) is very old school and strict too. But she was a resource teacher for years and has heaps of experience with SN. She was the one who made me realise ds1 wasn't just a bit quirky, that he needed assessment. She can be very blunt but at the end of the day she wants the best for the kids, yes she's strict but she's also understanding and is renowned with all the professionals as being a woman they don't want to mess with which is great ammunition. On more than one occasion she's told me to tell CAMHS the school is insisting on x or y, they're very nervous of her so tend to acquiesce much more easily than if I were asking for the same thing. She's a battleaxe but in the best possible way.

Ds2 finished his block of SALT this morning, he's made great progress, it's the first time we've finished a block with positive progress which is a wonderful feeling.

PolterGoose Thu 26-Sep-13 10:34:23

Well done mini-Summer2

I've just sent an email to ds's teacher:

ds has reported that eating lunch in the hall is making him angry. He does have quite significant sensory processing difficulties and the noise and smell of a busy dining hall may increase his risk of anger and aggression towards other children

I thought I'd leave it open ended and see what happens. I've told them it's an issue, I've highlighted the consequences of failing to act, over to them now...

SummerRain Thu 26-Sep-13 10:38:07

Ball's in their court now Polter, I hope they respond positively flowers

DontSweatTheSmallStuff Thu 26-Sep-13 10:52:06

Morning. Blimey I'm having trouble keeping up with this thread!

I tried Trigglesx method of constantly chatting to ds1 while getting him to put his school uniform on - it worked really well <happy>

I'm getting lots of goods tips and info from this thread but don't feel like i have much to offer. I make a nice chocolate cake though grin

PolterGoose Thu 26-Sep-13 11:01:39

DontSweat don't worry, we are all learning all the time. Did you see my explosive child thread and link? It might be useful for you.

cake is always welcome grin

Galena Thu 26-Sep-13 11:02:17

Polter, hope they work it out!

Don'tSweat, I wouldn't worry - I lost the plot ages ago! But I always accept cake !

DontSweatTheSmallStuff Thu 26-Sep-13 11:12:14

Thanks grin

I saw that thread Polter. We bought that book straight away, CAHMs recommended it. It's been very useful just helping us understanding ds1 abit more. We're still working on putting Plan B into action though.

moosemama Thu 26-Sep-13 11:49:53

Blimey some of you have stamina staying up till that time in the morning! shock

I've been lurking and reading, but haven't got much to contribute as am still in kidney infection hell and the anti-b'seem to have addled my brain.

Dh has been doing the morning school runs and I've been dosing myself up with painkillers and naproxen to manage the afternoon ones (thank goodness the school is only across the road).

Started to feel much worse in the night last night and I was going to call the GP this morning, but decided not to, as still have 2 1/2 days of anti-b's left, so dh stayed home till 11.00, took the dogs for a walk, fed the pup and tidied up before going to work while I tried to get some extra sleep.

I have to be up tomorrow morning though, as ds2 is in a Harvest Festival play at the school during assembly.

PolterGoose Thu 26-Sep-13 12:07:12

Oh moose hope you feel better soon flowers

Thepoodoctor Thu 26-Sep-13 14:12:27

DontSweat I have also found Plan B in its pure form a bit tricky to implement with DS. I think at times the verbal ability and concentration needed to get to the bottom of difficult situations has been a bit beyond him. However, the emphasis on teaching the necessary skills, rather than punishing/ rewarding him for not exercising skills he hasn't got, is a mind opener.

Moose mamma hope you feel better soon, sounds grim.

Well the ed psych came to see DS yesterday and was, to be fair, very positive about his need for support. But she thinks he may get no statement or an unresourced one, because he is currently doing so well. So cross for his school - unlike many, they have worked their socks off in his support, and endured some incredibly difficult behaviour last year which I was amazed didn't get him excluded - and the reward is that the need for support is questioned! We are gathering further evidence so I am now preparing to ask the school to be super negative about him for six weeks!

And further, he turns out to have age appropriate achievement and a reading age two years ahead - from a baseline of seriously underachieving in Y1 before the 15 hours went in - but even though school are quite clear he cannot manage this without adult support, there's a good chance he won't get it in the other half of the day. So obviously it's OK for him to learn bugger all in the afternoons then?

Aargh. Why do kids have to fail before it gets sorted out?! Feel for everyone else currently going through this SA process - so sorry I can't remember the posters name but somebody has just been turned down?

Galena Thu 26-Sep-13 14:24:05

Moose, I think if you're beginning to feel worse while on the anti-b's it's worse contacting a dr today, even if just for a phone consult. You should be feeling better with only 2.5 days left.

I hope I don't offend anyone with what I'm about to say - I'm not bragging, I'm just a bit shocked.

Went to talk to the head about DD's op. All fine. Then she said she had something she wanted to talk to me about. Bear in mind DD has only been at school for 3 weeks and still isn't even full time. The head says that, as she is working at NC levels already and not Foundation Stage, she would like DD to move to Y1 at least for the mornings for Lit and Num, and then back to YR in the afternoons - with a view to perhaps moving up a year permanently at some point. shock

She is bright. Very bright. The head has never met such a bright 4-year old. But... She is a tiny dot and doesn't have a huge amount of confidence. But, whilst she can be taught with her peers, she will need work way above them for the foreseeable future and so will always be working on her own. In the older class she will at least have other children at her level.

We're leaving her until Christmas with the upheaval of the op, and then we'll have a chat and see what we're going to do.

Very odd feeling.

Thepoodoctor Thu 26-Sep-13 14:29:34

Fantastic Galena! Just be proud of her!

I was that kid - apparently I surprised them by reading Staffordshire Education Committee upside down on their register smile From my own experience of being moved up a year, it's brilliant in academic terms, but it is important to keep an eye on her social and emotional maturity as well. It was more difficult in my teens when being 12 in a class of 13/14 year olds became quite a maturity gap. But I think it was important to me to have the challenging work. So a balanced view of her whole development, but you sound as if that's exactly what you have so am sure she will be fine.

Enjoy a proud mum moment smile

Thepoodoctor Thu 26-Sep-13 14:31:04

PS that wasn't meant to be a brag either - hope it didn't sound that way.

I can pass exams but there are many many things I can't do, getting DS to wear pants to school currently being one of them!

Galena Thu 26-Sep-13 14:34:18

That's the thing though, poo I was also that child. I was moved up at the age of 6 and went through my school life up a year. I found the worst bits going to uni at 17 and not being legally able to drink, and also all my friends learning to drive before me.

I know she'll be ok. But... She's my baby still!

SallyBear Thu 26-Sep-13 14:36:51

Galena - Can you ask the head if they'd consider combining yr 1&2 classes for next year? A lot of schools do it and it certainly gave my DS3 a boost with his learning and confidence.

PolterGoose Thu 26-Sep-13 14:38:28

Not bragging at all Galena, it's fab grin my ds is also ahead of his peers academically in most subjects but of course socially he's well behind, thankfully he can work to his ability in most lessons with decent differentiation of tasks and can pursue his own academic interests at home, and that works well for him. To some extent I think it's a bit lazy sending her off to Y1, because what happens if/when she's ahead of that year group? It's a tricky one, but no rush.

Galena Thu 26-Sep-13 14:41:32

They have some mixed year groups further up the school but are phasing them out because they have bigger classes coming in. They used to take 15 in YR and then have mixed classes of 30 all the way up. The past few years they've been taking in around 22-24 and keeping them as separate classes. I guess the problem with having mixed Y1/Y2 is that then, when she's in Y2 they'd have to do a Y2/Y3 cross-keystage class. And, to be honest, I'm quite happy for her to be up for lit/num and in class the rest of the time. Unless the lit/num is topic based, of course, when it would all fall apart!

Galena Thu 26-Sep-13 14:42:56

The head made it clear that if we wanted her to stay in YR that was fine and she would have appropriate work and be stretched, but was also clear that it would be work on her own because she's so far ahead of the other children.

FrussoHathor Thu 26-Sep-13 14:50:50

Can anyone help this mum with PDA ?

zzzzz Thu 26-Sep-13 14:52:06

We didnt move up in year one and I have to say I regret it hugely. By Christmas year 5 dd was bored rigid and begging me not to say anything "because they just give me more word searches Mum". (Selective prep school). We've put her up a year at an online school, and she moved up again for some subjects (ie into yr8) this week. My next eldest sibling was the same (sadly more run of the mill myself). grin. It is a challenge but dd2 s lovely so not too arduous.

SummerRain Thu 26-Sep-13 15:04:35

That's amazing galena grin

It's great that they're rewarding her intelligence but a shame she has to go through upheaval to get it.

We're quite lucky being such a small school as the classes are mixed anyway and lots of stuff is taught based on ability rather than year group, there's a few kids in dd and ds1's room working way above their age group but they're able to stay with their year group through school.

Galena Thu 26-Sep-13 15:12:15

We've got plenty of time to think about it. They certainly could cope with her in class if that's what we choose, but she would be working on her own a lot of the time - no-one to spark ideas off, no-one to work collaboratively with, etc.

I don't think I favour a full-time move up a year. Being a state school, I think we'd meet problems at secondary transfer point and I have a feeling she'd need to repeat Y6. I don't, however, have a problem with her being taught out of yeargroup for specific subjects.

Trigglesx Thu 26-Sep-13 15:46:12

Galena That's very impressive! But then, your DD is a clever girl! smile It's all a balancing act though, isn't it? We had the opportunity when DD was young to move her up a year and refused, as she was already the youngest in her current year, we felt that socially it would be too difficult for her. I had a cousin that moved up a year and I remember the frustrations he had socially because he was so much younger than the others in his year. I do think whether or not they can adapt depends a lot on their maturity and confidence. It's not a decision that I (thankfully) will have to make with DS1 or DS2.

DontSweat I'm glad the chatter helped. I do that with DS1 anytime he is either obstinate or struggles with something - distraction is good. grin

moose I agree, if you're almost done with your antibiotics and you're feeling worse, you need to contact the doctor TODAY and see about them changing you to a new one. There should be marked improvement by now. It's possible that the antibiotic they gave you is simply not specific to whatever is causing your infection - it happens a lot. They generally start out with a broad spectrum AB and then fine tune it if necessary to another that may be more helpful. You don't want to continue getting worse over the weekend!!

SummerRain Thu 26-Sep-13 15:53:57

Pmsl. Ds1 is starting rugby training tonight. So he's sitting at his laptop youtubing 'how to play rugby' so he'll know how to play when he gets there grin

It's like that episode of bbt where Sheldon claims to know how to swim because he learnt it on the internet grin

PolterGoose Thu 26-Sep-13 16:53:01

Aaah smile hope he enjoys rugby

moosemama Thu 26-Sep-13 16:54:31

Galena, not bragging at all. What a clever girl you have there. smile

Last time I had this they gave me the standard 3 days of trimethoprim and I got significantly worse. They wanted to hospitalise me 48 hours afterwards, but I refused, so they gave me erythromycin on the proviso that if I didn't have any improvement within 24 hours I would go straight to hospital. Fortunately it worked and the cultures came back as resistant to the first antibiotic but erythromycin ok.

This time they went straight for erythromycin, but that always makes me feel really ill, often worse than the illness itself and has, as usual, given me a really upset stomach, which I think is aggravating everything, as when I take naproxen everything calms down, so I think it's inflammation, rather than infection that's the issue now.

It's not easy for me to get to the GPs, I can't leave the pup for long enough without him yelling the place down and annoying the neighbours and I'd have to call and be triaged, which means I can't arrange a lift in advance. It's just too much hassle.

I have felt a little better this afternoon. Managed to take the pup to the local park for half an hour after school, with ds2 and dd. Although, it is literally half a minute from our house, so not all than impressive achievement. I haven't had any more temp spikes today though, so I think I'm getting there - just very slowly. Think I may have had a 2 week course last time, so it could just be I need a slightly longer course this time as well.

DontSweatTheSmallStuff Thu 26-Sep-13 17:53:46

moosemama, that sounds horrible, hope the AB's start to kick in and you feel better soon.

Galena, what a clever ddsmile enjoy being a proud mummy.

This statement process sounds a complete nightmare. We are going for a statement for ds1, school are doing alot to try and help him so i do worry he'll get turned down even though the only days he's really coped with have been half days with 1:1 support. Today his 1:1 was off sick and even though he'd already worked with her replacement it was an unexpected change for him - cue huge meltdown and having to come home.

Gawd, this is hard sad

PolterGoose Thu 26-Sep-13 19:38:24

Wow wow wow I am pleased to say we've just been to the local secondary and it was lovely grin exceptionally friendly, relaxed and engaging teachers, we missed the talk in the hall so ds could explore without crowds and I managed to mention ds's dx to a couple of staff while dp was off with ds. One teacher spoke about teaching a boy with AS in Y10, about her own child with SPD, about the buddy system and how she is working with a child who struggles to get in the classroom, they just took it in their stride, a real can-do inclusiveness, so different to my experience of primary where everything is meant well but a bit of an effort. Ds got to mix some chemicals (very serious!), explode some bubbles, hold a huge stick insect (they have a bug club), watch a 3D printer in action, see the library and English classrooms and chat about Shakespeare, he has come away excited, I could cry, I feel so relieved.

youarewinning Thu 26-Sep-13 20:09:11

Galena well done your DD grin it's great the school are recognising all aspect of SN, physical and educational and implementing strategies.

summer LOL at googling rugby. My DDad says my DS reminds him of Sheldon from BBT - in the way he explain everything to a finer point!

polter great email, certainly given me ideas on how to email school in furture.

moose sad Hope you feel better soon

don't sweat glad the talking helped. And I'll always accept cake over anything else. grin

Everyone else good evening. My DS is pale and shattered atm but he just WILL NOT lay down and sleep. He's tossing and turning for hours in the evening. I'm torn between ignoring and yelling to him calling him to stop banging.

SummerRain Thu 26-Sep-13 20:25:56

That sounds brilliant polter, their facilities sound great and their attitude seems really positive smile

Moose flowers sorry to hear you're still suffering

Ds1 loved the rugby. It was really well organised and the trainers are amazing. He had an absolute blast and seemed to be really listening to the instructions, he picked it up a lot better than he does the football. he has a knack for tackling... Not sure if thats a good thing wink

zzzzz Thu 26-Sep-13 20:53:19

Oh polt YAY! Disastrous evening here. New board game, not enough time to play, ds is furious. Sometimes it really is my fault. WTF was I thinking not checking how long it takes.

Tell me how many of your kids swim?

Brilliant news Polter

Dd tried to teach Ds chess today zzzzz. A 4 year old trying to explain the rules about how all if the pieces move to a inattentive, own-agenda 6year old boy with ASD........ Carnage.

Then the baby climbed onto the table and........

Ah moose, get well soon.

Wow Galena. That's great, but the old double-edged sword.

Hope you are able to make it work for her and great that the school are so on the ball.

zzzzz Thu 26-Sep-13 21:11:25

Draughts/checkers is better than chess as an "in" to those kind of games with ds we hav to play those on iPad as otherwise he always knocks the board or makes illegal moves.

This was The Game of Life, I had no idea about all the cardboard cogs etc.

We did have quick try of Rory Story cubes and I think that will be a winner.

Mostly we play variations on pelmanism (ie flip th cards to kind the pairs). It's grim but part of our bedtime routine. hmm

youarewinning Thu 26-Sep-13 21:14:26

zzzzz My DS has weekly lessons and can swim. He cannot use a float though as gripping it is too difficult (he uses fingers not hands to do stuff!) and takes so much effort he can't do his legs at the same time!!!
His swim school work through the ASA stages and he loves it.

FrussoHathor Thu 26-Sep-13 21:21:16

zzzzz my dd can't swim. We try lessons every 6 months, buts she's just not ready to cope with all the sensory

PolterGoose Thu 26-Sep-13 21:35:49

Ds can't swim either, he just has the 20 or so lessons a year that school do (under sufferance).

Game of Life at bedtime is perhaps a tad ambitious grin Check out Pass the Pigs which I remember playing as a child and ds loves, it's very silly.

At bedtime ds said he cannot wait for Y6 to end grin interestingly this is a school in special measures with a very poor local reputation, but I think it will be perfect.

SummerRain Thu 26-Sep-13 22:09:08

Ds1 had lessons for about a year before I couldn't afford them anymore. He's just about at the 'wouldn't drown if he fell in a pond stage' grin His coordination is shocking, he rolls in the water as he swims and can't coordinate hands and feet. He has no fear and will happily duck under the water but he's a hazard tbh, we were at the beach over the summer and I had to stay right by him even in shallow water as he throws himself about and has no sense of awareness.

Dd is a reasonable swimmer, I wish I could afford more lessons for her as she was progressing really well and it's the only physical thing she has much interest in.

Ds2 hasn't had lessons as he's only just gotten to the stage of not being surgically attached to my side constantly. He's very cautious and doesn't like water on his face. It took him hours at the beach to brave going into the water and he clung to me the whole time.

DS2 can swim after a fashion. Will never be graceful. grin

Galena Fri 27-Sep-13 08:08:28

Oh for goodness sake! DD was fine yesterday. Absolutely fine. But couldn't go to school because she was sick Wed eve due to phlegm. I had a meeting with the head and confidently said ' oh, she'll be back tomorrow'. So...? She woke at 5 with a temp of 39 and has already thrown up twice this morning. Head did say there was a stomach bug going round. sad

FrussoHathor Fri 27-Sep-13 08:12:00

Oh no. Poor dd. and poor you. sad

Sorry, Galena. Let her get it out of her system before October. X

Galena Fri 27-Sep-13 08:22:36

Yeah, will definitely he taking her out for a week before her op!

Galena Fri 27-Sep-13 08:59:43

Sorry for tmi, but my sodding period has started too!

PolterGoose Fri 27-Sep-13 09:17:25

Oh Galena flowers may as well get it all done at once.

Ds went to school very happy despite a very different morning routine, the explosions in the science lab were the talk of the class grin

Have you all hidden that 1:1 thread?

PolterGoose Fri 27-Sep-13 10:04:39

Not hidden Star I just don't understand all the funding stuff confused

The funny thing about that thread (perhaps funny isn't the word), is that I doubt any of the teachers ARE breaking the law as only a very few statements will actually be specified in a way that doesn't allow them to use the TA to massage their feet during story time if they so choose.

FrussoHathor Fri 27-Sep-13 10:27:33

I don't know which thread it is star,

hazeyjane Fri 27-Sep-13 11:07:57

I haven't hidden in it, but I am a bit lost about the funding and the mocking tone of some of the posts was really getting me down, after a really hard couple of days.

By the way, i am having a Goose and Carrot coffee morning here if anyone would like to join me. smile

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