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Super early Goose and Carrot opening. 27/6

(244 Posts)
NoHaudinMaWheest Fri 27-Jun-14 11:42:06

I know it isn't even midday, but I am off to London soon to collect ds and am badly in need of refreshment first. I think quite a few others are too.

Ds is actually doing really well. We had a review meeting in London on Mon and it was almost universally positive. He has some tricky stuff to practise this weekend but seems to determined to do it.

Other things are not so positive. I have a long rambling thread about dd on the other board so suffice it to say I am worried.

I had an ultrasound on my foot this week. It was supposed to be for a steroid injection to cure the cyst on a nerve. However dr said it wasn't the cyst that was causing the pain but early osteoarthritis. So instead of having something that could be cured for a change, I have another chronic condition.

The date for my angiogram has come through at last. I am glad because it has been hanging over me for months but must admit to being scared too.

And finally it seems DH's glaucoma isn't being well controlled. It should be sortable but he always gets into a right tizzy about any health problems he has.

Anyway here's to a relaxing if rain-sodden weekend. wine

ouryve Fri 27-Jun-14 12:34:14

[ginger tea] NHMW.

Glad that, amongst all the crap, good things appear to be happening for your DS. It sounds like he's been working very hard.

DS1 has grown quite attached to his regular escort already. She couldn't be there, today and he was quite anxious while he was waiting for his taxi. I doubt if he was reassured when the substitute escort argued with the driver when he asked her to sit in the back with DS1. What does she think she's paid for, ffs angry

And I was relieved when DS2's TA was back in after having to leave early, unwell, yesterday.

And I'm minorly annoyed because I moved furniture to set up to do some painting, this morning - the last coat of the last corner of emulsion - but the paint's knackered. There's so many bits in it that it's impossible to use on the roller. So I'm going to have to buy another tin and redo 2 whole walls! Just drinking my ginger tea and glowering at the step ladders, then I'm going to put everything back again and have a soak in the bath.

PolterGoose Fri 27-Jun-14 13:12:38

NoHaudin I am so glad ds is doing well, but sorry for all the other stuff.

ouryve more brew for all the irritations

I'm going to re-post my aaaarghhh post from old thread because I'm getting myself in a tizz about ds and secondary, all the big stuff is looking good, Senco responding well to my many emails! my biggest remaining worry is the getting in and out of school bit:

Honestly, I despaired of ds this morning. I suggested he walk the last bit into school himself as next week he will have to go into secondary himself for the second taster day. He had to walk about 30 feet to the gate and then straight on, across a 'road' (not a real road but a turn in the school staff carpark but there are pavements so it looks like a normal road) and into his classroom. I watched him walk 'normally' for about 10 steps and then he adopted a ridiculous packhorse style pose for the rest, virtually walking on all 4s, he did not check for cars when he crossed the 'road' (I had already checked the way was clear etc). I can't imagine him walking into secondary without either getting run over or making a right tit of himself and sending out a beacon to bullies.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Fri 27-Jun-14 13:31:42

NoHaudin sorry you've had such a bad week for health concerns.

ouryve I'm painting this week too. My sympathies on the "chunky" paint. That would send me around the bend, I think. Hope the next batch is better.

Polter yes, I can see where that's a big concern, especially the bullying. Any particular reason why he was walking that way? (I only ask because sometimes DS1 does something and my brain is thinking WTF?? and when I ask him why he's done it, he has what passes (for him) as a fairly logical (again, for him) reason)

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Fri 27-Jun-14 13:32:19

Polter , I left my last post on the other one. I'm too lazy to copy it over. lol

PolterGoose Fri 27-Jun-14 13:38:21

I will ask him tonight what on earth he was thinking and clearly I need to give explicit "walk upright and avoid other people and look before you cross the road" type instructions. Actually I might backward chain it a bit, we've got 4 weeks to sort this.

Alice can you ask a play leader or whatever at one of the activities you go to, see if they'll do a Connors form?

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Fri 27-Jun-14 13:42:48

he doesn't go to any other activities, really, except with me and DS2. Once I find out who filled out this last Connors, I'm going to go from there. I have my suspicions that it was the TA, so I may ask the teacher if she would fill one out and see if it differs.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Fri 27-Jun-14 13:43:29

sorry, I know I said teacher previously - DS1 refers to them all as teachers, so I have a tendency to do that as well (less confusion for him)

PolterGoose Fri 27-Jun-14 13:50:56

Good plan, and good luck

hazeyjane Fri 27-Jun-14 13:56:32

Hello, this is an early one. Will maybe have a coffee and save the stronger drink for tonight!

Feeling worried about the way transition to primary is going for ds, his 1-1 has been taking him down, and she has been trying to work the other side of the desk from him, or pop to the toilet, but he gets upset and clingy. Because of all the faffing with statements, we are left with too little time, IMO, for ds to get used to going to the unit without 1-1. Have arranged to have a meeting about it next week.

Also sorted out ds's cardiology appointment, genetics appointment and seen the opthamologist with dd2 (who has referred on to a specific learning difficulties specialist at the hospital).

Am now going to try to relax and enjoy a birthday weekend!

Babieseverywhere Fri 27-Jun-14 14:00:54

I have just had a phone call from lovely teacher.

She managed to get in twice that DS's issues are just at home (though she admitted he was stubborn at written work but if she waits long enough, he gives up and does it apparently)

I repeat that it was only the school run, we are fine the rest of the time.

The school are insisting that this pointless multi agency meeting takes place in a couple of weeks. Apparently school can request a behaviour home visit but this meeting has to take place first, so they can decide if it is still behavioural. So stuck with another sodding meeting....aka blame the mum as they see no issues.

Plus they are down playing his sadness and anger towards school. Now I am persuading him to walk not lifting him, we a arriving late but calmer. They claim this as improvement but DS is still unhappy, angry and late. ..where is the improvement ?

I really wish we had wine I'm the house.

Joy, plaster a smile for the school run and the meeting, grit my teeth and say whatever I need to.

Ps. CT said my DS lied that DS was not upset at rehearsal. Told me not to believe a child but DS doesn't tell me anything.
CT then admitted she thought that DS just gives expected answer to any given question no shit sherlock I agreed this is often the case like when you ask/tell him that he likes school and has lots of friends.

Sorry I am ranting a my DS mistaken, she was very specific ?

Hi Everyone,

Just got the documents from my LA informing me of my duties regarding HE. It's all a load of bollox, and I know it is, but for once (and just this once mind) I'll probably jump through their stupid hoops and give them information to which they are not legally entitled just for a bit of peace.

I draw the line at filling in their box asking me how many hours formal education ds will receive a week however (after an explanation that they would consider this to be 25 hours) and stated that the full-timeness of his education will be measured in outcomes not hours.


Can you practise walking in and out of school at the weekend or in the holidays. Can he stack up points for each thing on a tick-list you want to address.

1 point for crossing the road sensibly, 1 for standing up straight, and it might be a good idea to also introduce a mediation exercise for calming himself triggered by the sight of the gate or something, so that it can be a habbit. Perhaps also a triggered calming down exercise when he comes out too? Routines like this can really help with coping.

ouryve Fri 27-Jun-14 14:16:44

polter - it sounds like he bottled it a bit and suddenly felt very self conscious by himself, so tried to curl up and make himself small and get as close to the security of the ground as possible. It probably didn't even enter his mind that he probably did the worst thing he possibly could to draw attention to himself.

A lot of probablies there, but I'm too tired and hormonal to reach for my inner thesaurus.

Babies i think your DS is being taught by quite a pollyanna. There's little wonder he doesn't want to go in when his feelings are being so blatantly disregarded.

I'm mentally planning my route home from school. Took a detour, yesterday, through which DS2 walked quickly and, more to the point, forwards. Then we got onto our own street and he instantly sat down in the middle of the road, then turned around backwards. By the time I got to the bus stop 250 yards from home, DS1 had stood and kicked mud all over the pavement, as he waited. We can cut into the estate behind that path and halve the time spent on our own street and get past the bus stop. I should feel safe enough telling DS1 to just go home, from there. I'll let DS1 go on his scooter so he isn't as tempted to mess about in any dirt he encounters.

Once DS1 is full time, this will only be a problem on Fridays, when it's a half day for DS1. I'll no longer have to puzzle out how to keep DS1 safe while dealing with DS2's awkwardness for 4 days a week.

zzzzz Fri 27-Jun-14 14:24:06

Half of year 7 walk around as though they are bit parts in an intergalactic B movie. grin Relax about bullying, but tell him he will die if he doesn't look where he's going when he crosses the road.

EdPsych booked for next week am chasing SALT.

Any ideas as to where I can get a questionnaire for Ds's swimming teacher to fill out detailing where she is differentiating her teaching, to avoid her writing a letter that says she thinks he is autistic as I don't think they will be interested in her dx'ing.

I think you might have to design your own one tbh zzzzz.

You can use some of the depressing DLA questions perhaps?

We can give you some too?

Is his swimming 1:1?

Also, you can get her to rate on a scale of 1-10 his severity against known Autism Symptoms (plus some extras for fun and for DLA) with a comment box below for her to add her own comments on them?

Babieseverywhere Fri 27-Jun-14 14:34:51

zzzzz What about getting swimming teacher to fill in an aq questionaire, aka Cambridge Behavioural questionaire ?

PolterGoose Fri 27-Jun-14 14:40:57

Thanks folks, will have a ponder.

zzzzz perhaps just be more explicit, explain you'd like her to detail exactly what she has to do extra when teaching ds1 compared to a typically developing child of that age?

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Fri 27-Jun-14 15:42:31


AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Fri 27-Jun-14 15:42:58

sorry, wasn't letting me post for some reason. better now...

Well, that's just great. Again this year, they've included the whole school in the leaver's assembly. I mentioned last year that DS1 was a basket case, sobbing and hysterical all evening afterwards because all the y11 people were leaving (he doesn't even really know any of them, but they're LEAVING so of course, he's upset hmm sigh).

Cue this year. Replay of last year. He wailed and cried and screamed all the way out to the car, and is now sniffling and hiccuping on the sofa with his ipad. If he follows last year's schedule, it'll be hysterical crying bursting out throughout the evening, late night because he won't sleep much even with the melatonin, and cranky in the morning because he was up during the night (as usual) but upset and refusing to go back to sleep.

Yawn. Good thing I have loads of coffee in the house. grin

Next year I am demanding that they do NOT have him go to that assembly. I will pick him up early if need be. hmm

PolterGoose Fri 27-Jun-14 15:57:10

Oh bless him sad I would definitely pick him up early or take the day off next year.

My ds actually accepted a prize in assembly today shock which was a tad stupid brave of school as usually praise results in a rage, thankfully he agreed his maths game was best and was happy to monologue explain it to the whole school.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Fri 27-Jun-14 16:04:41

Polter Well done your your ds!! smile

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Fri 27-Jun-14 16:05:00

that's TO your ds... good grief, my typing! blush

ouryve Fri 27-Jun-14 16:33:47

Well done to your DS, polter - as much for being able to go up and accept the prize as for being awarded it!

Alice [blackcurrant vodka] (I have blackcurrants beginning to ripen so need to get last year's batch drunk! I'd offer gin, but I don't have any)

Elaborate plan for getting most of the way home forwards didn't work. He dutifully turned backwards with 500m still to walk. At least I didn't have to endure any of his faffing on the main road, though. DS1 refused to bugger off home for the final stretch. Apparently he was stuck in a traffic jam hmm

We left school at 3:20 and got home at 4.

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