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How do you tackle homework?

(10 Posts)
TwoLeftSocks Tue 25-Mar-14 17:07:14

Posted this in Chat too but how wondering how do you all get DC to get anything done?

Does a 'no TV before homework's done' rule work?
Do rewards work for you?
Do I just need to keep at it?

DS has moderate ADHD, in Yr3, and is flat refusing to do anything at all. Somehow thinks he's exempt even from the most simplest tasks.

(He's is currently upstairs screaming 'I hate homework', I don't think I have the strength to do anything more today other than get them fed and to bed)

TwoLeftSocks Tue 25-Mar-14 18:29:34

By the way, thank you to those who posted on my last Aargh Homework thread, it's kind of gone downhill from there so I really need to figure out some sort of proper strategy.

PolterGoose Tue 25-Mar-14 19:27:40

We've finally got it that ds does it after he has his tea (so just after 5), but only on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays and he does the minimum he can get away with required. I don't make a big fuss, but I don't battle and if he is too stressed I inform the teacher and remiss that he is not to be punished.

Ds reads and does self directed learning a lot so I have little respect for tedious worksheets and bloody spellings.

PolterGoose Tue 25-Mar-14 19:28:01

*remind not remiss

PolterGoose Tue 25-Mar-14 19:28:56

I also videod a typical homework session and showed teacher a couple of months ago to prove how hard it is.

TwoLeftSocks Tue 25-Mar-14 22:18:07

We're really lucky that his teacher is massively understanding and gets just how hard it is, and will often try to think of homework that catches his interest, but it's just mention of the h word and he's off in a spin.

I tried earlier suggesting we do a just ten minutes on free evenings, but he reacted even to that.

I think I might have to either regain my patience ad composure and get him to do some 'work' by stealth, and suggest he takes in to show her, an/or have some sort of homework routine, with a bit after dinner a couple of nights a week, before the TV is allowed on.

(am thinking this through as I write it so it may take some refinement)

Swanhildapirouetting Tue 25-Mar-14 22:20:13

Maybe the homework is the wrong homework? Even if it seems easy to you, maybe to him it is difficult, or he senses he is going to fail, or that you might ask him to do more even if he does a little bit. The teacher might need to set him different homework for now, if he has a block about doing any at all. Maybe it could be cutting words out and sticking them in, or colouring, or talking about something with you, rather than something that requires what he regards as work or writing. Maybe you could scribe for him if it is a research project.

Sometimes we have had success (and this is with a 12 year old) in setting the timer and saying, in 10 mins we are stopping. And break it up into very small chunks, total time on homework is 30mins in 3 10 mins sessions. Then you break the extreme fear and resistance cycle.

No criticism at all whatever he does, even if it is completely wrong, untidy, rushed, mispelt. Nothing matters except that he actually sits down and does something anything. Ds now does his homework much more diligently because we have been so careful not to criticise the presentation and allow him to make mistakes. Also to let him do the minimum - often he is the one now who wants to go that little bit further to please his teacher.

Teacher needs to discuss with you what the point of the homework is at this age. She sets homework for everyone, so you need to tell her that differentiating for your child is important, which might mean NO HOMEWORK, and some other task which is on topic.

Chewing is apparently good whilst writing, and a small trampoline to bounce on between concentrating. Forcing them to sit down never works. Snack and drink at same time often helps, straws, sucking etc.

TwoLeftSocks Tue 25-Mar-14 22:48:56

Thank you, those sound like really useful suggestions! The fear and resistence (especially the resistence) sounds like him. We're careful not to criticise what he produces, but I'll watch out in case it's affecting his willingness.

His teacher's happy just for him to get anything on paper but would also be happy for him to do get creative if that sparks some enthusiasm in class.

She's on strike tomorrow so maybe we'll get busy with some cardboard boxes and paint and make a stage (he's one of the stage crew for the school play, and very excited about it). If we do writing or maths along the way then that can be a bonus.

Swanhildapirouetting Tue 25-Mar-14 23:05:21

I think it sounds like you already have very good ideas and kind teacher.

EmLouT Fri 04-Apr-14 20:03:45

Hi. My DS1 has ADHD and mild ASD. I find getting him to sit down to homework a nightmare. He will do anything other than the thing he is meant to. He is often like this as school but the TA just keeps taking him out of class to play (and I mean play - juggling, teddies etc) at the slightest sign of resistance for fear he will get angry. DS has cottoned on to this and is now being even more resistant because it is fun to be taken out. I am really scared they are turning a child who can integrate with help into a child who can't or won't integrate because it is more fun not to. He is starting a new school in September and I don't want this to become a pattern. Any ideas?

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