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Is it just me that has a severely autistic child that is so passive?

(19 Posts)
jackiee Sat 15-Mar-14 15:57:24

Hi everyone this is my first time on here and I need to ask this question does anyone have a asd child that is so paasive? My 3 year old got diagnosed at 28 months I can take him (mostly) anywhere he can adapt to change so easily its like nothing fazes him.i keep getting comments how quiet he is, is this a good or bad thing!
Any comments would be appreciated thanks

ouryve Sat 15-Mar-14 19:41:06

DS2 was incredibly passive as a baby and when he was that sort of age. It was hard to engage him in anything. He was definitely my "easy" boy, at that time, despite needing so much help with feeding etc. He wasn't quiet, mind - he liked to hear himself screech, and still does.

He still has very limited expressive language, at almost 8, but he's far from passive, now. Even by the time he was coming to the end of nursery, other kids had learnt that they could not just treat him like a doll or take things off him (probably the only time I've been pleased about a child turning round and thumping someone, as I was becoming worried about how vulnerable he'd be amongst boisterous kids). He spends most of his day bossing everyone around, now grin

zzzzz Sat 15-Mar-14 21:52:17

A baby could take a toy from my ds. He is just a very gentle soul. He is t particularly averse to change and likes new experiences. He can however stick his heels in and we have had months of difficult behaviour ....... But only in the last 3 years. He is 9.

jackiee Sun 16-Mar-14 17:32:00

That's good to hear I am also worried about the future how other kids will treat him as he does not even acknowledge other kids just now .

I think it was just professionals that have worked with my son they kept commenting on how quiet he was and it got me thinking it was quite uncommon for an asd child to be so quiet (although he also does a lot of screaming too!).
So thank you for the reassurance.

jackiee Sun 16-Mar-14 17:32:59

That's good to hear I am also worried about the future how other kids will treat him as he does not even acknowledge other kids just now .

I think it was just professionals that have worked with my son they kept commenting on how quiet he was and it got me thinking it was quite uncommon for an asd child to be so quiet (although he also does a lot of screaming too!).
So thank you for the reassurance.

jackiee Sun 16-Mar-14 17:34:28

Sorry just that message up twice!:-(

Strongecoffeeismydrug Sun 16-Mar-14 18:04:40

My son is now nine and very resistant to change now but at age 3 I could take him anywhere, with no planning and he would just smile at everyone ( he was non verbal).
Fast forward to him starting school and that's a different story ...........

jackiee Sun 16-Mar-14 21:11:49

I dont need to plan anything for my son he pretty much goes anywhere without any fuss.
Im getting a feeling I should just enjoy this while I can lol!

zzzzz Sun 16-Mar-14 22:06:47

I think you shouldn't just enjoy it, you should exploit it grin.

Take him to as many places as you can because as life gets more difficult for him (because school and the stress of having to do things that are developmentally beyond you IS more difficult) the natural response is to want to do things that are easy and predictable. So the more places he feels comfortable in the better.

devilinside Sun 16-Mar-14 23:16:26

My boy was passive until he got into year three. I think it shows you are doing a good job (mine is no longer passive because he hates school), sadly, there is not much we can do about it, short of home schooling, but the fight goes on

zzzzz Sun 16-Mar-14 23:25:37

We HE and my easy boy is coming back. grin (now 9)

youarewinning Mon 17-Mar-14 18:49:51

My boy was extremely passive - and still is in many ways. As he's got older and pressure has increased he clung onto routines as that's his safety gate iyswim?
At 2/3 years old he was the stand out child as everyone else's was having tantrums! I was even accused of being too strict and him being scared to misbehave when he was about 4/5 because he was so passive. I've never worked that one out as he was always in trouble at school as he just couldn't get what to do/ how to behave.

However he'll follow instruction very well. Sometimes the sticking to rules thing is a bleeding bonus and a half grin

youarewinning Mon 17-Mar-14 18:51:20

My DS is also quiet - but is always making noises!

Mine was the same. He was/is passive to the point of pushover.

Now he prefers routine but I can change things without a meltdown, he just needs a list of what is being done. eg 3 shops, lunch 2 more then home sort of thing.

He's now 12 and follows orders really well. They have to be short, maybe one or 2 things at a time but it makes life easy. He loves school because of the structure.

jackiee Mon 17-Mar-14 19:09:06

My son has just started learning pecs today and even the speech therapist says he is so passive!. Although she did say it can be sometimes harder as his communication is very basic and there is not much response to things!.

I also have a 2 year old nt daughter and she is the one that gives me the most grief!!

jackiee Tue 18-Mar-14 11:34:23

Thanks everyone for their comments its really helped!
Im new to this group and will defo be back with lots more questions!
Ta

Mine is 16 now.. nearly 17.. and for the most part he is still very passive. Always friendly (to adults.. never interested in other children) and happy i his own obsessions.

He has become a lot more anxious as he got older but we are finding ways to help him cope. At your son's age he mostly sat and lined up crayons and , well just sat! Now he chats (mostly about Dr who ) and is much more with the world in his own waysmile

Tambaboy Wed 19-Mar-14 13:07:27

My DS (7) is extremely passive and compliant at school, he would just sit on the same spot all day long, he needs prompting for everything. He's different at home, he still needs prompting for everything but he is much more active, bouncing, dancing, squealing etc.

jackiee Sun 23-Mar-14 00:22:40

My wee one also needs prompting for everything too . I could leave him in his room all day and he would be quite happy. Although he was diagnosed a 3 year ago he has just started to line things up now I suppose I should be happy that he is quiet. if he grows up and wants to talk dr who im sure his dad will be very happy!

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