Threads in this topic are removed from the site 90 days after the thread was started. Our SN area is not a substitute for expert advice. Here some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

Goose & Carrot - It's Paddy's Weekend, free pint of Guinness with a shamrock on top for the first ten geese through the door

(551 Posts)
SummerRain Fri 14-Mar-14 16:47:48

Top of the morning to ye folks

Where's that shamrock emoticon they keep promising us for Paddy's day? confused

PolterGoose Fri 14-Mar-14 17:43:29

moose I am glad things are better for ds1, and for TB too, good luck for AR.

Alice I won't do anything with it, in a way it's just a way to prove to myself that I can do it. I had a bad school experience and it's never gone away, I did my undergrad degree as a mature student and I've never 'used' that either. My job is an, in theory, 'unqualified position', though I do have a related professional qualification. I've never done anything for a purpose really, I don't have any ambition.

AliceinWinterWonderland Fri 14-Mar-14 17:46:59

Summer That's true. Maybe I'll take some time to look into it.

SummerRain Fri 14-Mar-14 17:48:05

Moose, I was lying in bed with my eyes covered trying not to move all day. I'm still in bed but feeling slightly less bleugh so thought I'd try and get some work done... I have yet to open the word file I need one hour later blush

Polter, doing it for yourself is the best motivation there is imo. I have no idea what I'm going to do with my degree either, but i desperately wanted to do a degree and this one looked interesting grin

SummerRain Fri 14-Mar-14 17:50:21

btw, I don't know if its the same over there but here it's not so much what degree you have when it comes to jobhunting, but showing employers that you've put the work in to get one. Fitting it to a job seems to be secondary really

HugAndRoll Fri 14-Mar-14 17:54:15

Wow polter that's amazing! I don't even have a degree. Can't even do distance learning as I'd have to stop claiming carer's allowance so it's unaffordable at the moment.

moosemama Fri 14-Mar-14 17:54:21

Summer - have you got the brightness down to one blip? That's what I do when I have a migraine and can't resist mnetting. Of course I could never condone doing that when you have a migraine. wink

If I do ever go back to study it will be for myself, probably to prove to myself that I do have a brain, as I doubt I'll ever work again.

That said, dh and I, in our brief chances to try and talk and sort things out, have realised that part of the problem for us is that we have been so focussed on surviving and making sure the dcs are supported, we've let go of all our dreams and plans, both personally and together.

We're going to try and rectify that and one of the things I'd love to do, someday, is open a small online shop selling luxury dog-related items. Not utility stuff for dog training etc, but luxury collars, leads, beds and bowls, commissioned art/sculpture of your pet that sort of stuff. I figure, if I had the money, that's the sort of place I'd love to waste time perusing over the net and if I'm ever going to run a business from home it has the best chance of success if I choose something I know.

youarewinning Fri 14-Mar-14 17:56:07

We'll I spoke to DS teacher after school and asked quite openly whatever made the ELSA think it was a good idea to tell DS she would be there in 5 minutes, not turn up and then tell him in reception at the end of day he'd be starting nurture group in 2 weeks meaning he'd miss ICT - his lived for subject - every week?

Teacher actually had the good grace to say he had no idea! But that he'd spoken to DS ( I rang office to inform them of lack of sleep and last nights meltdown!) and they are going to sort it out.

I said the social communication side was obvious but they had to realise the anxiety and complete idea of change was always there even when things are going well - as they're going well because he knows what's happening!

Also DS is now a 2A writer and steadily producing some level 3 work. smile So when he entered year 3 as an apparent 2b and a near 2a at end of year 3 and then still a 2b in year 4 (Altho 2c in assessments) and I basically told them to sort their shit - and they gave an ineffective IEP - the fact that since September he's had a brill senco and teacher and actually made progress with interventions shows if they'd bothered to do it straight away (when they didn't believe he was a 2b - instead of pretending to me) he'd have probably made far more progress.

So I'm angry and also very pleased at the same time hmm

moosemama Fri 14-Mar-14 17:57:25

Summer, I think that can be the case over here. Dh has a humanities degree, but went on to work in computers. He couldn't work at the level he does without a degree, but no-one seems to worry about whether or not it was in a relevant discipline.

SummerRain Fri 14-Mar-14 17:59:20

moose, I'm very light sensitive even when not migrainey so the brightness is never far above one bar anyway. Poor dp has gotten used to living in gloom and darkness as I just can't tolerate much light. It's terrible in summer as I love being in the sun but end up with a headache after an hour from the brightness, I need to invest in some decent dark sunglasses this year so I can actually spend time outside!

HugAndRoll Fri 14-Mar-14 18:07:23

I'm shattered this evening. Ds1 was up at 3. He did go back off eventually but was up for the day at his usual time.

I had to keep him off school today and he hasn't come out of his room other than for meals, no amount of asking or cajoling would get him out. I know it's the nature of ASDs but I worry when he has basically zero human contact. I've tried to go up and spend time with him today but a) he doesn't want me to and b) ds2 is only 22 months so can't be left alone for long. Ds1 won't even entertain the idea of ds2 being in his room so I'm left feeling like a bad parent. If I told any of my friends/family that he's basically been on the computer all day they would be shock hmm.

I bet there's more than a couple of you who are glad it's the weekend, you have had a really shitty week. wine all 'round.

PolterGoose Fri 14-Mar-14 18:21:28

Hug for children with ASDs often time alone is the best therapy, don't fret, my ds has loads of screen time and he's doing ok smile

moosemama Fri 14-Mar-14 18:23:48

I'm the same. My screen never goes over three bars (out of a possible 16). Dh hates it, as he always has to turn it up when he wants to use the laptop. I spend my life in semi-gloom in our sitting room, because we're south facing so the sun is at the back of the house for most of the day.

Unfortunately wearing glasses also triggers a migraine for me, so sunglasses are a no go. I have a couple of different types of migraine and the less dramatic ones start with pain and inflammation in my nostril. blush If I wear glasses they seem to press of whatever nerve it is that's affected and kick off a migraine. hmm As a result I have a selection of peaked hats to hide behind when it's bright outside.

moosemama Fri 14-Mar-14 18:27:04

Hug, ds1 needs regular alone time in order to cope with having to be sociable the rest of the time.

I think Tony Attwood covers this in his book, something about many/most people with ASD seeing their room as their sanctuary, somewhere where they don't need to expend their energy thinking about how they should be behaving and what they are expected to say etc. I remember he says something about once they are in their own room, in their own space, they are effectively no longer autistic, because social/communication skills are no longer relevant.

SomewhatSilly Fri 14-Mar-14 19:12:11

Right, I posted this on last week's thread, thank you to moose for bringing me over. Hope it's ok to c&p it.

Hello, can I join? Been more of a lurker to date but I could do with some understanding this evening. We had our independent SLT report on DS back, and it couldn't be more obvious what she thinks the issue is if she had written ASD all over it.

I was particularly gutted by his receptive language assessment which puts him on the 4th centile.

SomewhatSilly Fri 14-Mar-14 19:12:36

He's 3.4 btw.

moosemama Fri 14-Mar-14 19:13:18

No problems Somewhat, welcome. Pull up a bar stool and virtual wine of your choice.

How old is your ds?

claw2 Fri 14-Mar-14 19:15:02

I am so sorry to be hogging all the thread, if I knock up an email to HT, would you guys mind give it the once over for me?

claw2 Fri 14-Mar-14 19:15:37

and pour me a large bloody vodka too please smile

SomewhatSilly Fri 14-Mar-14 19:15:45

I've got to go and put the boys to bed now but I was wondering if it might be ok later to share some (anonymised) excerpts to get the opinion of you lovely ladies? I need a battle plan!

HugAndRoll Fri 14-Mar-14 19:16:18

Ha I x posted on the other thread.

It's always hard to read these reports. My ds (nearly 6) is on the 1st and 2nd percentile in some areas but in others he's on 42nd! While you need to know where he needs help try and it's hard to see what he's good at too ((hug)).

HugAndRoll Fri 14-Mar-14 19:17:07

claw go ahead <<passes a double grey goose>>

HugAndRoll Fri 14-Mar-14 19:18:23

Also go ahead somewhat. I will try and be as helpful as others have been and still are for me.

moosemama Fri 14-Mar-14 19:18:44

Cross posted! grin

You are doing a great job getting independent assessments done at his age. I wish we'd done the same. My ds wasn't diagnosed until he was 8 because we trusted the nursery/school when they said they were sure he was fine. We then spent years fighting to get someone to listen, but only got taken seriously when he lost the ability to cope when he went into the juniors.

I know how hard it is absorbing all the feedback from the assessments/reports, but try and keep hold of how it's all positive steps towards getting him the help and support he needs.

gBean Fri 14-Mar-14 19:23:22

Hello all. I'm a newbie to this section. Used to post regularly on mn years ago but then fell out of love with it.

My youngest (ds2) had a v rare chromosome disorder and since starting school last sept has become more and more challenging...!

Currently at the start of the statement process, doing EHCP along side on a pilot scheme, having OT assessments at home for safety and have first home visit from short breaks worker next week...

That, along with working and looking after 3 on my own is bloody tiring as I'm sure you will appreciate!

Oh, and mine's a vodka please smile

moosemama Fri 14-Mar-14 19:24:50

Of course we will somewhat, well I say we - I may not be around as I can feel myself hitting my exhaustion threshold, but I will come back tomorrow if I have to log off too soon this evening.

Hug makes an excellent point, dcs who have ASD tend to have spiky profiles, where they can be on a really low centile for one thing and be at the top of the centiles for another. Ds1 has very low processing speed, but was right at the top for language. You'd think having a high result for language would mean he doesn't have any problems with communication, but that, coupled with the slow processing can cause a lot of problems and actually the language test he had isn't set up to detect the subtle language problems that ds has - so whilst he knows a lot of words and sounds very articulate that really isn't a true impression of his capabilities.

Claw don't worry about hogging the thread - it was me last week - we all have our times of greater need, it balances out in the end.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now