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Had a sit down at school - DS2 is likely to be ADHD we think.

(6 Posts)
louismama Sat 01-Mar-14 20:47:29

Ok, family support worker from child disabilities team ( for DS1) decided to no show even though met was her idea and we've rescheduled to accomodate her already! Not off to the greatest of starts as quite recently widowed didn't WANT to have to fight my own corner for a change, breavement counsellor got there 20mins late as went to wrong school.

Originally had wanted a met to shout at head for lack of academic support received following daddy's death (more behind he got more homework I got to do) ended up being a ?ADHD meeting due to counsellor raising concerns. Basically all agreed something not quite right but hard to put finger on it, definately attention and retention issues though. They all want to wait and observe due to grief possibly clouding the issue.

Cutting to the chase I mentioned this 12months ago and same was said then (minus the grief) how is the best way to get ball rolling re assessment accessing services, leisure, financial the lot. My family are very fragile at the moment and DS2's behaviour is becoming more challenging daily am not prepared to sit back want to be proactive. Went straight to parental request for statementing with DS1 and special school, this is far less clear cut. A label doesn't frighten me in the slightest, and anything that gets him extra help and provision is positive in my book. DH would have been gutted, adored DS1 and hoped DS2 would watch his back in the futre; should have picked it up sooner but so much has been going on. DH definately displayed some AS traits thinking about it so just thought he was mini me of his Dad.

OneInEight Sun 02-Mar-14 15:24:49

Gosh you do have a lot going on and so do your son's.

Assessment: GP and ask for referral to community paediatrician. Take a list with your concerns on.

Financial: Have you applied for DLA and carers allowance for your ds1. You might also qualify for ds2 depending on the severity of his issues.

Leisure: can/do SS give you any respite for ds1 and/or ds2. They have recently put in a'buddy' for ds2 which has helped him a lot.

Schooling: Is your son on school action & can you ask for him to be seen by an EP. Can they give him any extra support now. You want this in place in case he gets further behind or behaviour becomes more difficult and you end up having to ask for statementing for him also. Perhaps he may only need temporary support whilst he adjusts to losing his Dad but that is no excuse for not giving him any.

zzzzz Sun 02-Mar-14 15:47:47

"Basically all agreed something not quite right but hard to put finger on it, definately attention and retention issues though. They all want to wait and observe due to grief possibly clouding the issue."

I think this is the unacceptable bit. They are not there to dx his issues, they are there to react to them (by providing the support he requires). Whether his issues are short term in response to grief (though frankly grief changes it doesn't dissipate) or innate to him, they need to be addressing them.

I'd start by getting that in writing to the HT and demanding suggesting an EP observes and reports.

louismama Mon 03-Mar-14 02:50:29

Thanks both, am already under community paed with DS1 so think first port of call is going to be a phonecall to him cutting out middle man. Maybe he can do a referal for an EP. get feeling is that he needs some 1:1 to achieve his potential and keep him on task.

DLA do I need a dx to claim, sounds so money grabbing but truth told I am on a much reduced income since my husband passed away, as DS2 is struggling to understand why we can't do as many nice things as we used to, so it would benefit him directly if he were eligible. Can't get carers as I'm a widowed parent (overlaping benefit if I were a millionaire would still get same though argggghhh)

This is so frustrating, just got DS1 on an even keel and making progress; DS2 is much more of a grey area - am winging it don't know what I'm doing, whole new learning curve.

zzzzz Mon 03-Mar-14 06:03:30

You don't need a dx, you just have to demonstrate he requires more care than a more average child. There are lots of people on the board who are brilliant at that side of thing. I'm more of a "how to deal with a poo incedent without losing the will to live" type poster. grin
If you have a compassionate pead I think that's an excellent place to start.

OneInEight Mon 03-Mar-14 06:46:07

There is a brilliant guide by 'cerebra' (can find it by googling) on how to fill out the DLA form - worked for us anyway.

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