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goose and carrot 24th Jan...

(379 Posts)
signandsingcarols Fri 24-Jan-14 15:01:37

Hi everyone, how has the week gone?

Chez sign is currently packing in preparation for the new kitchen, and new walls/door way for the 'odd-little-room-next-to-the-kitchen' work starts in 2 weeks and the odd room is full of dh's books and models, (plan is after moving the door and adding a new wall laterin the year, (once we have saved again) the little room will become downstairs loo and 'rest' room for dh, with a day bed, so he can stay down stairs onece he has managed to get down in the morning,) huge upheaval but been planning and waiting so long am really excited. grin

hoping ds will manage all the stress, hmm

autumnsmum Fri 24-Jan-14 15:44:37

Sign and sing that's great news hope it all goes well .when I get iPad off dd2 I will pm you about the bsl

moosemama Fri 24-Jan-14 16:06:07


Sign, building work sounds stressful, but like it will be worth it in the end. Hope it all goes smoothly and ds copes with the upheaval.

We're supposed to be having our kitchen sorted in the not too distant future and have to admit, much as I'm desperate for it to be done, I'm dreading the chaos it will bring.

It's been a very long week this week. Ds1 went back to school on Wednesday and has been off the scale with anxiety and meltdowns ever since, thanks the school re-assigning his TA away and reducing his in-class support while he was off, as well as making all sorts of other changes to his routine and support.

They've also, in their wisdom, moved 'transport boy' (relating to the problems ds was having earlier in the year) into ds's teaching group, because apparently he told them ds was his friend. They know he isn't, they know we have spoken to them on several occasions, as well as emaling them about how much trouble this boy has caused for ds and how he doesn't want to have anything to do with him, but they chose to ignore all that and move him into every single lesson ds has. He was coping with the situation by putting up with him on transport and then avoiding him for the rest of the day, but, now he's stuck with him, all day every day for registration/tutor group through every lesson and both transport runs. angry The boy concerned was suspended last week and this is only the latest in a long line of issues, including punching other pupils, looking at porn and 18+ films on the school computers and a list of other things. Ds can't cope with rule-breaking and really can't cope with being around constant, extreme foul language and/or punching etc, so his anxiety levels are through the roof from not being able to get away. I get the feeling his parents have told the school he is acting out because he has no friends in his tutor group, but he has none in ds's group either, because he is violent, insulting and uses foul language to the other kids all the time.

Difficult situation, as there are obviously SN/SEN involved as he is on ds's transport run. Either the school are failing to support him properly - which is entirely possible as they just don't seem to be able to get it right for ds and he's easy to support - or - it's just not the right school for him. We were told the school didn't take pupils with any behavioural problems, even if they are due to SEN. They told us that they take pupils with dyslexia, dyspraxia, HFA and Aspergers, but only those that have no record of serious behaviour problems, especially violence. I feel for him as well as ds, as he's clearly unhappy at the school.

So, lots of emails flying back and forth between me and the inclusion manager and I get the feeling we are gearing up for big fight. If I have to point out one more time that if you pop your head around the door and ask if ds is ok he will say "I'm fine" even when he clearly isn't, I will scream. Similarly, if I have to explain that, yes, masking is common with people who have ASD, but if they were supporting ds properly he wouldn't need to mask as he would feel safe and secure - my head may just explode. angry

Moving on, ds2's last spot finally dried up last night. He got his first spot Friday before last, so it's been a long haul for him. The last one was on his finger and just would not die. hmm

No sooner did ds1 go back, then I came down with a d&v virus and have only really started feeling myself again today.

I'm desperate for a quiet weekend at home, although dd does have a birthday party to go to on Sunday - think I may have to persuade dh to take her to that, although I don't like my chances, as he did the last one. hmm

moosemama Fri 24-Jan-14 16:06:40

Oops, mega-post. Sorry for the rant. I guess that's what happens when I bottle things up all week. blush

SallyBear Fri 24-Jan-14 16:26:38

Moose what a nightmare for you! winewinewine Because its medicinal you understand.

Sign - ooooooh! New kitchen! What have you chosen?

moosemama Fri 24-Jan-14 16:30:14

Thank you Sally. Feeling very blush after my rant. It wasn't helped by ds1 frantically texting every two minutes from his taxi, so I know we're in for hell again in about half an hour's time. hmm <<takes a swig from the bottle>>

AtYourCervix Fri 24-Jan-14 16:48:13

A week fromthe deepest pits of hell.

The fridge freezer died.

Ordered a new one despite knowing I have 32p in my account.

Thought it would be del8vered today.

Cancelled a much needed coffee and chat while I waited on for it.
Turns out it is due for delivery on the 31st.

In the meantime I've been working nights again. My body is rebelling and not coping. Massively busy at work. Various piles of shite happening here and there.

Oh, and DD got excluded from school. 3 days for telling a TA to fuck off.


AtYourCervix Fri 24-Jan-14 16:49:01

Oh yes. And the car was written off at the MOT.

LilTreacle Fri 24-Jan-14 17:05:44

similarly off week for us too.
DS off sick at start of week as was moderately poorly with a cold but mega emotional and demand avoidant as a result.
went back Wed, gotten progressively worse as the week wore on. Refused to do anything at all today...

Got the school info they are submitting for annual review...basically says they feel they cannot meet needs... now we really do need to look for alternatives.

Oh well, hello weekend, we've been missing you.

AtYourCervix Fri 24-Jan-14 17:08:29

On a positive note, DD just had her intro session for her new little job and think it went well. !!!!!! First proper afternoon tomorrow.

moosemama Fri 24-Jan-14 17:15:45

wine AYC - I blame the new moon.

Good news about the job though. Good luck to her for tomorrow.

LilTreacle wine for you too.

StarlightMcKingsThree Fri 24-Jan-14 17:23:21

Hi all,

I've been very needy this week, sorry. First of all taking ds out of school, then not, drama and now stressful transport situation. Grrrr!

Hooray for new kitchens.

moosemama Fri 24-Jan-14 17:25:15

Evening Star.

Sorry to hear you've had a bad week as well. Hope the transport situation gets sorted quickly.

PolterGoose Fri 24-Jan-14 17:27:59

wine all round

School issues here too sad

StarlightMcKingsThree Fri 24-Jan-14 17:29:38

Just getting through your post Moose grin

ouryve Fri 24-Jan-14 17:32:11

Brrrrr! Took 90 minutes to get home, tonight. And that is with ds1's teacher giving us a lift for the last half of the journey. He's not had a good day at all. I owe flowers to another member of staff who stayed with us for almost an hour and took charge of the buggy.

Warming my bum on the oven. Will actually read other posts when I've got some hot food in me.

StarlightMcKingsThree Fri 24-Jan-14 17:36:18

Read it now Moose and grrrr is the only response I can muster. I'm outta solutions for the moment. Exhausted does not come near to explaining my brain.

bochead Fri 24-Jan-14 17:44:38

Lovely week here apart from a 3 hour train journey taking 6 hours due to engineering works. The less said about that the better, except I am so lucky the dog is so good at keeping DS calm.

Have signed up for the OU course I've had my eye on for years as now DS is not at school I finally have the time in my day to do something for myself. Say it all about school stress really doesn't it.

New LA EP due to assess DS next week. I have written my proposal that he continues in education otherwise. He's finally getting a childhood for the first time since nursery, and I'm really enjoying being his Mum for a portion of each day, and not just his therapist iyswim. This I think is reason enough to fight to be allowed to continue doing what we are doing right now. His academic progress (finally happening!) while very important is secondary to this for me now, even though my initial reason for taking him out of school was abysmal academic achievement.

The weather has finally improved enough to resume the househunt, so that's underway again now too. Once settled in our final abode, I'm growing roots and NEVER moving again as I loathe and despise the whole darn process.

moosemama Fri 24-Jan-14 17:44:41

blush I know, I know mega mouth poster strikes again! blush

I think your brain and mine are in a similar state then Starlight. I tried to talk to dh about it last night, but seemed to have run out of words - which as you know, is totally out of character for me!

Ouryve wine - mulled if necessary (for warmth).

Ds1 is home and has been shoved straight onto Minecraft in an attempt to minimise the explosion.

signandsingcarols Fri 24-Jan-14 18:02:25

oh moose, what a mess! angry
star you have had so much to juggle this week!
ouryve, sounds like the joiurney from hell, sad
AYC, grrr about the fridge... angry suitable end to a crappy week...

sally kitchen is nothing extravagent, but never had a new kitchen, or even one that I had any input into, so this is lovely, pull out larder, high level oven, so dh is safe, floor and serfaces I can finally keep clean.. t dryer that will vent thru wall not out the door.... even the thought of it is making me smile, (have saved for 2 years to get it).

AtYourCervix Fri 24-Jan-14 18:09:10

I know sign

I feel like a fuzzy useless mess. I have take to my bed aso really don't think i can take much more. H has gone out for wine.

ouryve Fri 24-Jan-14 18:24:20

Got a full tummy, now. My arse is still cold.

That sounds like it's really going to be worth it, sign, even though it's going to be a lot of work and, dare I say a lot of mess, to start with.

We desperately need a new kitchen - the one we have is actually rotten. We have the money put by. It is the upheaval that's putting us off.

Moose, I'm not surprised you're furious with school. They just Don't Get It, despite their apparent reputation, do they?

AYC, you've had a shit-tacular week sad Well done to your DD for getting and starting her job, though.

Treacle I hope your weekend gives you the headspace you need and things calm down a bit.

bochead - glad someone's had a positive week!

Thinking we need a huge vat of wine The ranting is still happening. Radio stations. The weather. The wooden "wall" between the kitchen and dining room....

On a more positive note, DS2 joined in with the dancing for golden time. Apparently, he spent a lot of the time sat at the side of the hall lapping it all up and laughing, but he was getting stuck right in, at one point. grin

moosemama Fri 24-Jan-14 18:43:24

Glad you've managed to get some food into you ouryve, you need one of those heat pads to sit on.

Problem with the school is that almost all the old SEN team have left. The old SENCO, who was so good she has almost godlike status, had a hell of a year and ended up having to leave at the end of last year and the acting SENCO went off on long-term sick while ds was off with chickenpox - she was the only person left that really understood ASD, other than the old Head who is still there, but as a board member and governor, rather than being involved at ground level, iyswim.

The new 'Inclusion Manager' isn't old enough to have had enough relevant experience, especially when you look at what his last job was, although he is at great pains to insist to everyone he does methinks he doth protest too much. He is very much a politician-style spin-doctor who I very much suspect has been brought in to cut costs. Judging by his actions so far.

SallyBear Fri 24-Jan-14 18:54:28

Sign I have a pull out larder. Love it. It will be gorgeous!! Colours!!!!

ouryve Fri 24-Jan-14 18:58:06

It's not the school that was sold to you, in so many ways.

DS1 has calmed down, now, at least. DH has bought a gigantic box set of Looney Tunes and he's just been introduced to Wile E Coyote. Right up his street grin (And about as violent as it gets in this house. Some of the threads I've read this past week about what kids get to watch or play have made my hair stand on end). He's also enjoying deciphering the roman numerals at the end of each cartoon.

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