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Aspergers diagnosis as an adult

(12 Posts)
SwirlyWhirly Fri 17-Jan-14 17:50:24

First of all sorry for putting this in sn, I honestly cannot think where may be more suitable and I know that I wont get judged on here!
I have two children and my eldest has severe autism, my dd is currently being watched in school although some concerns have been raised by her teacher to her possibly being on the spectrum.
I have severe and debilitating depression alongside lots of issues with anxiety . This is currently being managed by medication, a mix of anti psyhcotic and ant depressants.
For a number of years (since ds's diagnosis) I have become more convinced that I am somewhere on the spectrum. I have self hatred, find social situations v difficult and avoid contact with other people as much as possible (mainly because I worry what they think of me or I become convinced i've made an arse of myself)
I know asd presents differently in girls and women and I am in the fortunate (haha) position in that I have a Psychiatrist.
I want to raise this with him but kind of feel I need a bit more of a coherent argument as to why.
So what do I say (I am worried about looking like an idiot) Any suggestions or experiences of women being diagnosed on the spectrum as an adult.
Thanks in advance

Mollyweasley Fri 17-Jan-14 18:11:16

You are definitely posting in the right place. My son was diagnosed with AS last year and after reading up a lot on AS, I seeked a diagnosis for myself. I was diagnosed with AS and ADD. I did come across this aspergersgirls.wordpress.com/2012/02/10/aspergers-traits-women-females-girls/ and found it useful, it might help you too.

SwirlyWhirly Sat 18-Jan-14 01:57:50

Molly thank you so much for your post and the link, I did find it useful smile Can I ask how you sought your diagnosis if you don't mind?

Mollyweasley Sat 18-Jan-14 10:22:13

Yes of course. My DS had behavioural difficulties from a very early age at home only and was very well behaved at school. We tried for more than 6 years to get help from the NHS but we got absolutely nowhere. We finally came across a brilliant private psychologist who diagnosed him with AS. During his assessment I realised that I might have AS. Now I can really relate to the bit where you say: "I am worried about looking like an idiot" as I also suffer from social anxiety. What I did is seek the support of my husband for approaching my psychologist, that way I felt I would be ok if it all went wrong. DH was there when we talked to him and he is the one who actually opened up the conversation. After that everything just flowed out of my mouth and the psychologist agreed to do the assessment. I know it is hard, I think the main thing is to open the real you beyond the NT mask so that your psychiatrist can see who you really are. But after years of hiding being the mask, it was hard to dig deep enough to find the aspie girl. I found that learning about AS in women helped: I read all the books from Liane Holliday Wiley and they were really helpful as to find my own "aspie traits".Also when you talked to your psychiatric, speak from the heart, use your own words. Forget what you have learned society wants you to do or say, be who you really are, say what you really think. He is a psychiatrist, he will not judge you his aim is to understand and help you (if he does, you might need to change and get another one). If he doesn't know who you really are, he can not help . Life after diagnosis is different but from my experience, 8 months on, just keep getting better and better: my confidence is growing and I am just so much more at peace with who I really am. It has also helped my son a lot as he knows I understand. Hope this helps.

ps: I don't know much about psychiatrist and not sure if they can diagnose Autism and how much there know about it. But I know that the Autism Research Centre in Cambridge take referral from GPs. It is worth travelling for the right support as Autism in women is still very hard to diagnose.

Mollyweasley Sat 18-Jan-14 10:45:37

Apologies, ignore my "ps comment" according to the National Autistic Society a psychiatrist can diagnose autism www.autism.org.uk/about-autism/all-about-diagnosis/diagnosis-information-for-adults/how-do-i-get-a-diagnosis.aspx.

HoleySocksBatman Sat 18-Jan-14 20:10:16

I'm seeing a psychiatrist in 3 weeks for ASD assessment, on the NHS. Both of my children have it as does my husband, and my entire life reads like a textbook Asperger's-in-a-woman story.

SwirlyWhirly Mon 20-Jan-14 19:04:20

Molly thank you for that, it is really helpful.
Holey did you request the assessment or was it recommended to you?

HoleySocksBatman Tue 21-Jan-14 12:56:26

Oh i requested it. Nay, begged for it.

18 months ago i attended a Women and Girls NAS conference, and I felt so much of it was about ME, let alone my 2 DDs who have HFA/HF ASD.

i spoke to Judith Gould myself in between talks. I asked her "at what point does an adult go for an official dx"? Her reply was "when it causes you trouble in your day to day life, when you hit that spot in your life when you NEED to know."

I had something happen in October that was so awful, i cannot speak about it here on MN, but it prompted me to go to the GP immediately to request a dx.

Mollyweasley Tue 21-Jan-14 14:46:17

That's interesting, it is exactly how I felt ...I really needed to know. I couldn't carry on without knowing.

HoleySocksBatman Tue 21-Jan-14 18:27:21

I am at the point where i NEED to know that I am right about being as AS/ASD as my girls are.

Moreover, it will benefit everyone else to know that I am right. I can say no more than that.

Behants Mon 24-Feb-14 13:48:37

I have a 9 year old boy who has Autism , my son got diagnosed when he was 6 years old . He is high functioning and attends mainstream school. It was shortly after his diagnosis I started to notice that we were very much alike , I talked with my doctor who intern put it to the PCT that I should have a adult ADOS done. It was great relief to myself when I was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome , every thing made sence to the way I saw the world and situations . I would strongly advise those families out there who have children on the spectrum and feel they have similar traits do push for medical advice and possible ADOS. , after all it's our generation who didn't get the help and let's face it we all could do with support . smile

Donki Thu 27-Feb-14 13:07:03

My friend has a DS with ASD (Aspergers) and he accompanied his son to the assessments and took part (as it was the only way his son would co-operate). At the final meeting with the clinical psychologist when they were given a diagnosis for their son, the psych then turned round and said "here's yours too..." It has helped him so much since to have a diagnosis, both with understanding himself and with his employers!

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