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Just had to pick up DD from school....

(24 Posts)
AtYourCervix Tue 14-Jan-14 13:05:00

She didn't turn up until 11.30....

Yes, it took me that long to persuade her to go. Nothing new.

She didn't have her blaizer.....

Yes she did. It is in her bag.

She threw a strop when they took issue with the above and swore at them....

Yes. And?

So they rang and asked me to collect her......

So now she's at home. Where she wants to be.

I give up. I actually throw in the towel.

PolterGoose Tue 14-Jan-14 13:47:19

(((hugs))) for you both

What do you want to happen now?

AtYourCervix Tue 14-Jan-14 13:50:44

Magic wand?

I have no idea. What do we do?

PolterGoose Tue 14-Jan-14 14:03:41

Work out what's so awful about school for her?

Work out what does go well at school?

Consider alternatives? Another school, home ed, Internet school?

Apply for a statement so her needs can be properly identified?

Do some work on long terms goals and steps to get there, I really like the way Solution Focused Brief Therapy operates, it's very forward thinking and empowering, and easy to try out some of the ideas.

AtYourCervix Tue 14-Jan-14 14:12:53

She has only 5 months left. With GCSEs to get through.

waiting for her tutor to ring me.


Carry on as we are for the next 5 months.

Something else.
But what?
Can't afford private tutors unless I work more hours. But alrwady work full time so who wold home ed her while we're at work?
No other school within 15 miles. Couldn't get her there or back.
Too late for statement. Also with the changes next autumn she's stuffed all ways.
No idea if college will accept her next year if/when she gets no GCSEs.

If school have really given up would the LEA have to provide something?

AtYourCervix Tue 14-Jan-14 14:15:19

1 good thing is that we're back in the camhs system do once i've talked to school i can ring them.

PolterGoose Tue 14-Jan-14 14:40:15

I hadn't realised she was that close to GCSEs, bloody hell.

I honestly don't know what to say, I hope you get more replies off people with more experience.

What are her options for post 16? Is there something she wants to do?

AtYourCervix Tue 14-Jan-14 14:45:47

She's applied to nearest big town college. No idea if she'll go or if they'll accept her. feels like we're countingdown to get her out of school but there's the big boud of unknown nothing after it.

stillstandingatthebusstop Tue 14-Jan-14 15:05:16

I don't think you should panic about college - don't all students have to stay in education of some kind or another until they're 18 now? Our local college talks tough but I think they are actually chasing students to go there.

School's approach to your daughter sounds crap. sad Is there anyone who is sympathetic to your daughter who would be worth speaking to at school? I always struggle to get through to anyone but the Year Head at Ds2's mainstream school which is ok if she agrees with me but not so good when she doesn't.

AtYourCervix Tue 14-Jan-14 15:30:27

Still waiting for phonecall. I have stuff to do but daren't in case i miss tbe damn call.

AtYourCervix Tue 14-Jan-14 16:21:40

No phonecall.

AtYourCervix Tue 14-Jan-14 17:01:26

No phonecall.

What do I do tomorrow? I'm at work at 7.30.

stillstandingatthebusstop Tue 14-Jan-14 17:04:54

I think that's really bad. They just don't seem interested. confused

Does your dd want to go in tomorrow?

PolterGoose Tue 14-Jan-14 17:05:08

Can you email? Explain that you need to discuss a reintegration plan and would like a meeting with CAMHS, Senco, tutor, you and dd, to discuss this, give your availability and copy in CAMHS.

This is off the top of my head.

I think you need to ring the NAS helpline.

You could get her signed off sick with anxiety by your GP for a week or two to remove the pressure?

AtYourCervix Tue 14-Jan-14 17:12:56

I'll ring tomorrow (again) and talk to Senco. and camhs.

hopefully work will be peaceful enough for me to do it (fat chance).

AtYourCervix Tue 14-Jan-14 17:15:00

New Senco seems good. Shame about the rest of the place. Hopefully she can help.

stillstandingatthebusstop Tue 14-Jan-14 17:26:33

Fingers crossed for new Senco to help. And for you to have time to talk to him/her.

Have you got an email address for Senco? I find phone calls frustrating because they can never find the person I want to contact. Could you send an email tonight? Just an idea.

AliceinWinterWonderland Tue 14-Jan-14 18:33:45

While I understand the need for the blazer, I don't understand why they chose to make an issue of it which clearly antagonised her further. confused

AtYourCervix Tue 14-Jan-14 18:40:56

Yup. You'd think after 5 years they'd have worked that one out.

Or if someone has a problem why would they not run it past someone who knows her.

Communication is unutterably shit there.

nennypops Wed 15-Jan-14 23:50:04

When they asked you to take her home they were excluding her. I would suggest that you insist that it be recorded as an exclusion. Apart from anything else, that's a headache for the school - they have to send you an official letter, copy it to various other officials, and note it on their records. The letter has to notify you that you have a right to have the exclusion reviewed by the governors, and it could well be worth exercising that right to force the school to think about this and whether there was a better way to handle it.

The point of all that is that they will hopefully think twice before they opt for that route again and they might actually try harder to keep her in school and doing something constructive. They can only exclude for a maximum of, I think, 45 days in a school year so they may reach a point when they have to consider permanent exclusion - which isn't great but would force everyone to concentrate on why this has happened.

Is it necessarily too late for a statement? Under the current law one can be in place till she is 19, and under the new law it can potentially stay in place till she is 25.

bochead Thu 16-Jan-14 12:56:47

Some thoughts

Illegal exclusion occurred = evidence you need for statement.

IPSEA has some nice model letters on their site for this. Put it in writing to the school and the LA EWO that you are not happy about today's illegal exclusion. Then write to head of children's services asking for a statement for your child.

Write an application fro a statement - the process means the school are "watched" during the application and is your passport to help for next year. It gets her into the "system". You have nothing to lose at this stage in making an application and potentially everything to gain for the cost of a stamp.

Ring up Interhigh - the online school and see if they could educate her. (she might have to drop down a year or sit her GCSE's in November). It's a suggestion to offer the LA.

Do remember when she's 30 it won't matter if she got her GCSE's at 16 or 20, so long as she got them! One of my sister's sat her GCSE's late due to a burst appendix in the middle of exam season. At the time it seemed like the end of the world. Nowadays she's able to look back and laugh.

signandsingcarols Fri 17-Jan-14 07:21:21

Hi. AYC, wondered how things have gone... have had a couple of thoughts about 'college in nearest big town...', will pm you when I have dropped ds,

AtYourCervix Fri 17-Jan-14 14:52:44

Hi all. Thanks for the advice.

I spoke to her tutor yesrerday about it all. They really can't be bothered with her. Their plan is to let her decide if she is 'in the right frame of mind' for school. They have put stuff in place to try to get her to lessons but if it's not working then there's no point in being there.

I'm in 2 minds. On one hand I think they should try harder and I'm not sure sending her home when she doesn't want to be there is ever going to be a good thing.

On the other hand I can't be bothered with them any more. Count down the days until she can leave.

I might let them know I want official exclusion stuff every time they send her home. Just to piss them off.

PolterGoose Fri 17-Jan-14 16:15:27

Yes, piss them off. As you know ds finishes primary this year, we are having similar issues, and I'm fed up with it, so I fully support any provocative tactics grin

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