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Why do people get angry at the suggestion that special needs can be cured?

(93 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread. Read here.

Palika Tue 10-Dec-13 16:42:22

I have always found it puzzling that so many people get angry if someone suggests that special needs can get cured.

There is ample evidence that 50% of ADHD get cured and 30% of aspergers. (google the research)

Does it make you angry? Why?
Is there anything that can be gained through believing it can't be cured?

I personally would jump with joy.

Weegiemum Tue 10-Dec-13 16:43:57

Because most can't.

ouryve Tue 10-Dec-13 16:49:23

If you're so het up about this, then how about you google the research and share it with us? hmm

Bluebirdonmyshoulder Tue 10-Dec-13 17:03:20

What exactly is the point of your post?

My DD's condition cannot be cured and if anyone suggested to me that it could be, I would assume that they felt my parenting was awful and if I just 'tried harder' then all would be well.

Just so you know, that would make me very angry.

ouryve Tue 10-Dec-13 17:05:08

Perhaps we should use the naughty step more, Bluebird.

We'll never know until the OP comes back and tells us what those magic cures are, though.

Bluebirdonmyshoulder Tue 10-Dec-13 17:07:46

Bugger, it IS my fault! I've never used the naughty step.

Waiting with barely concealed irritation......

madeupstuff Tue 10-Dec-13 17:09:24

'Cure' implies 'wrong', whereas what we have in many cases is 'different' and a cure implies that you want that to change - that we should all be the same.

tallulah Tue 10-Dec-13 17:13:39

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

ScramblyEgg Tue 10-Dec-13 17:28:58

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

BeeMom Tue 10-Dec-13 17:59:57

We knew one child whose condition was very similar to Bee's - quite possibly the only 2 in our province, maybe in the country.

Her parents were adamant that there WAS a treatment and ultimately a cure for her - traveled all over the continent and subjected her to innumerable tests, procedures, surgeries and experimental drugs to chase the elusive cure.

She died on May 24th 2012, one week before her 6th birthday.

I doubt that was the cure they were seeking.

Palika Tue 10-Dec-13 18:04:12

Why I have posted here? Quite simply because I am looking for a place to discuss helping my own SN child.

I was on several forums to discuss this and was always met with the same kind of anger as you seem to have as well and I just could not understand it confused It's the last thing on my mind to annoy anybody.

I am glad, however, that at least I do understand now a little bit better where all this anger comes from.

But just to be clear, I will not take any abuse from you, ladies. I will report anybody who throws swear words and insults at me and have already reported tallulah.

Greensleeves Tue 10-Dec-13 18:07:28

Because it's bollocks. You can't cure ASD. It is part of the person. It's slightly insulting to talk about what is essentially my child's personality in terms of curing him. And at worst you are fucking with the emotions of people who may be struggling with a diagnosis and actually believe you, which is cruel and irresponsible.

hth

Palika Tue 10-Dec-13 18:10:08

reported you as well, Greensleeves

Greensleeves Tue 10-Dec-13 18:12:09

biscuit

SilverApples Tue 10-Dec-13 18:13:55

I have an 18 year old Aspie. He isn't 'cured' his condition is hardwired into his brain and is the filter through which he perceives the world.
What he has developed over the years, with support, are strategies, knowledge and a veneer of socially acceptable behaviour. It is now quite a thick veneer, and someone like you might not even guess that he has a diagnosis or was on the spectrum.
Unless there are triggers, and stresses and he overloads. Then the veneer is stripped away in a heartbeat.
You need to find other fora that support your approach, try something like 'Autism Speaks' or other American sites if you want to be amongst like-minded individuals looking for a cure.

Bluebirdonmyshoulder Tue 10-Dec-13 18:20:57

No one is abusing you or directing any swear words at you.

We vehemently disagree with you, find your premise offensive and have questioned your motivation for posting.

It is utterly fair to say that the theory that some conditions can be cured is 'bollocks'.

I don't in all honesty think this is the right board for you.

JulieJingleBellsMumsnet (MNHQ) Tue 10-Dec-13 18:22:26

Evening.

Many thanks to those who have been in touch about this thread.

Now would be a good time for us to say that we do have a campaign aimed at dispelling the myths surrounding special needs, it's called This is my child

You can find the common myths here

We understand that this is an emotive topic, but it's worth while taking a look.

FanjoForTheMammaries Tue 10-Dec-13 18:24:02

Because if you say its curable then if our kids still have it we must have failed.

FanjoForTheMammaries Tue 10-Dec-13 18:24:50

In your eyes

SilverApples Tue 10-Dec-13 18:25:31

So is this thread by the OP from several months ago. I don't think she's trying to be mischievous, I think she's looking for a tick list to cure her DS.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/teenagers/a1788232-Do-I-have-too-high-expectations#39909238

FanjoForTheMammaries Tue 10-Dec-13 18:30:44

IMO aiming for a cure is just an extreme form if denial

FanjoForTheMammaries Tue 10-Dec-13 18:31:24

*of

ArtisanLentilWeaver Tue 10-Dec-13 18:33:38

Palika, I am not angry just very, very tired.
My dd was born with her special needs and I am realistic there is no cure. We love her as she is and I would not wish for anything more.

I wish there was a cure for people who were rude to her or hurt her but there is no cure for that either. Just an awful lot of love and reassurance from a family who are torn about helping her be independent and yet trying to keep her safe.

SilverApples Tue 10-Dec-13 18:36:22

'Why I have posted here? Quite simply because I am looking for a place to discuss helping my own SN child.'

So, your child is 14, or perhaps 15 by now. He's got a recent dx of dyspraxia, and you self-diagnosed him with ADHD.
You struggle in your relationship with him, and there are several issues that need resolution between you, some of which may be linked to his SN, some to your disappointment in not having the son you expected to have, and you seem to want to 'fix' him so that he becomes someone you are proud of and who will achieve your ambitions for him.
So you are looking for a cure, for what? His dyspraxia? His possible ADHD?
Or his being a teenage boy?

ShirakawaKaede Tue 10-Dec-13 18:47:38

"There is ample evidence that 50% of ADHD get cured and 30% of aspergers. (google the research)" - What research is this? There is a lot of research on these subjects - googling them is unlikely to come up the very paper (which I'm already extremely suspicious of) from which you quote these percentages.

I'm not aware of any (reputable) research which supports the idea that either of these SN are curable, although it is true that people can learn to cope better and make good progress with the right support (I have DS with Asperger's).

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