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How to get doctors to do what you want them to do

(7 Posts)
heather1 Tue 29-Oct-13 14:03:06

Hi, we, well me Dh isn't very available as he works a lot but he is supportive, are at the very start of trying to get help for my Ds.
He is 8, nearly 9. Is possibly on the edge of the autistic spectrum, has sensory issues, motor skills issues and trouble processing what he is hearing and also logical thinking. We are in Switzerland. Here you have medical insurance so in theory it should be easier to get help. I'm discovering that may not be so.
Learning support at his school reccommended he saw a particular Doctor for an assessment. But when I went to see my Ds Gp for a referral she doesn't want to send him to this doctor and instead is sending him to another clinic. She was also very dismissive about the autistic traits because he is happy at school as has made some friends. I'm not sure about the autism aspect but I do see many behaviours that are on the spectrum and I don't want it to be dismissed I want it to be investigated. He saw a therapist for 7 months and she thinks he might be on the edge of the spectrum and she know his very well. Almost as much as I do as she spent a lot of time helping him.
So I suppose apart from toughening up and being much more demanding how do you convince doctors to listen to you and do what you ask? Or is that a question that if I had the answer I would be a billionaire!

zzzzz Tue 29-Oct-13 15:09:15

You write to her saying while you are pleased that she is happy to refer you on for assessment, having thought about her suggestion of referral to X you would prefer to be referred to Y as he/she already has a working relationship with the school. Please could she amend the referral to reflect this and confirm by email/post/phone that she has done so so you can proceed as quickly as possible.

I find repeating myself in different ways usually works. Perfect manners, but relentless is the way to go. grin

Get used to it, not hearing no is a large part of parenting a child with additional needs.

chloeb2002 Tue 29-Oct-13 15:20:16

Hi, we are in Australia and similarly if you have private cover you can choose who you see with a referral. Firstly asd is a hard one. Everybody sits on the autistic spectrum, hence it's a hard diagnosis to make. It's a current very popular label to give kids. Especially by schools. The traits for asd are huge. I would go along to
The initial referral and speak to them. They may not be who the school suggest but may help you more.
Your son may have a different issue. Like an auditory processing disorder, he may sit higher on
The spectrum than his peers but I guess what difference would this make to the school? Can they not implement the extra support needed without a diagnosis? Are they looking for an iep as he is not coping with school work due to anxiety or behavioural issues? Here in aus there is funding up to the age of 6 for kids with an asd diagnosis for speech therapy, ot and associated equipment needs. Similarly another grant for kids with cerebral palsy and physical needs. So a diagnosis can help with funding extra help. I'm not sure if that the case for you ? I guess I am just always concerned how quick people are to jump on kids that are just different. If he is managing at school, has some friends then I wouldn't be overly concerned. If jus go with the GPS suggestion for now grin

PolterGoose Tue 29-Oct-13 15:32:34

heather what zzzzz said, I would also read stuff, make notes, keep a diary and learn as much as you can. It can make it a lot easier to deal with doctors and the like if you come from an informed position wink

chloe are you aware that you are on a SN board? I do have some concerns about some of your assertions and wonder if you have any experience of ASDs?

Everybody sits on the autistic spectrum
No, they don't. Only people who have autism sit on the autism spectrum.

hence it's a hard diagnosis to make
Yes, it can be a hard dx to make, it is often co-morbid with other conditions and many educators and primary healthcare professional have minimal knowledge, often steeped in stereotypes, which make it harder to get appropriate referrals to specialist diagnosticians.

It's a current very popular label to give kids
Autism is a medical diagnosis. Suitcases have labels.

Especially by schools
Schools cannot diagnose autism.

The traits for asd are huge
Erm, no they aren't, the diagnostic criteria is quite tight and well defined, whether you use DSM or ICD.

LIZS Tue 29-Oct-13 15:39:13

Can you self refer or do you need the paed to do it for insurance ? Drs do tend to refer along a particular chain of contacts. Could school do so instead, although I wouldn't be confident that they are necessarily best placed to suggest someone specifically either. Do you know of anyone who has used either ?

heather1 Tue 29-Oct-13 21:27:19

Thank you some really helpful suggestions. With our insurance you can't self refer for things like this but can for other things. I don't know why. The school can't refer either.
Tonight have written a polite but insistent email to the doctor so ill see what that brings. Another friend suggested don't go to meetings alone, try to take someone with you, I think that's a good idea for me.

Mollyweasley Wed 30-Oct-13 21:43:02

heather- I think it is about finding the right professional who would recognise that your son needs help. Poltergoose is right make yourself well informed so you can speak the same "language" as the professionals and don't give up, keep going until you find the one professional that will give you and your child the help you need- good luck!

Chloe: I am a bit concerned that you have been misinformed about ASD. I have a diagnosis of Aspergers Syndrome and so has my DS. He doesn't require any support at school and is a very caring child. Having Aspergers means that we process the information around us differently to most people. The conflict between our way of "seeing the world" and the NT (that is neuro-typical way or people without autism) way of "seeing" the world can result in various form of anxiety (e.g: meltdown, depression or social anxiety)- The diagnosis (what you are I think calling a label) gives us the key to accept and manage our differences which often results in less anxiety and a better chance of achieving our full potential. If you are interested in finding out more I would suggest reading Tony Attwood books: The complete Guide to Asperger Syndrome. Also you can find out more by reading other thread on ASD on this board, this could share some light on the importance of an early diagnosis and show you how difficult it can be to raise children with ASD.

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