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Obsessions which are 'babyish'. Do you discourage?

(12 Posts)
ShadeofViolet Sun 13-Oct-13 13:11:34

My DS2 (ASD) will be 7 in January.

He loves In the Night Garden with an absolute passion, and has done for about 5 years. We haven't grown out of it. DH is worried it will set him apart from his peers, but to me, it makes him happy so I am happy.

The only other thing he loves is the 'Thats not my...' series of books. Again, very babyish. DH thinks I should take them away and get different books instead.

What do you do? Encourage obsessions even if they are not age appropriate?

PolterGoose Sun 13-Oct-13 13:29:59

I've never stopped an obsession or told ds anything is 'babyish', you might find he 'hides' it from his peers or is oblivious, ds has never been into what his peers are, he has tried on odd accessions but less so now.

What you can do is provide lots of other stuff to develop other interests and use the obsession to develop other skills, building related stuff with Lego, developing drawing and/or writing skills, maybe make your own version with a camcorder. Try to use it as a springboard.

joencaitlinsmum Mon 14-Oct-13 13:38:11

My DS who is 13 also with a dx of ASD still insists on taking his teddy bear to bed with him he cant sleep without it he also prefers watching Disney films to those more appropriate for his age. Like you as long as he is happy then I am I don't see it as an obsession more a comfort thing, its familiar and has a calming influence then why try to change it.

He does have other items more age appropriate as he is aware of what his peers are doing etc but I have never taken away the staple items he has come to love.

HTH

zzzzz Mon 14-Oct-13 14:47:47

Everyone responds better to growing out of things at a pace that suite them. This is something that bothers my Dh more than me too. He is very protective of ds and sees potential for teasing etc as something we should be actively guarding against.

What I would say is that it has been a real joy to see Dh really enjoy playing more grown up games with ds. It so obviously means so much to him. So here we do both and ds grows (bloody slowly) into the more challengeing things.

troutsprout Mon 14-Oct-13 16:44:17

Ds grew out of them anyway... Just at a later age than his peers ( which kinda figures given I would estimate he is about 3 years behind developmentally/emotionally)
So brio .. About 8/9 rather than 5/6
Lego about 14/15 rather than 11 ish when most of his ' friends' moved on.
Useful to keep that in mind I think.

ShadeofViolet Mon 14-Oct-13 18:08:46

That is true trout - My DS is about 2.5 years behind in some ways. Looking at that it doesn't seem quite so terrible.

I agree zzzzz I think that is what DS is worried about. When he is chattering on and talking about Upsy Daisy that his classmates will laugh at him. However they are all quite protective of him so I don't think that is anything we have to worry about yet.

My Ds2 is 16..and still believes..totally... in Santa (he has ASD and mild LDs) From now til Xmas he will talk about Santa, tracking Santa on NORAD, how Santa brought him tickets to Lion King last year etc etc etc.

I have always worried about it (and other 'babyish' obsessions) but his peers and others have always been AMAZINGLY kind... never taken the piss out of him, never laughed at him...just let him be the sweet lad he is. If a 6 foot 16 yr old can be obsessed with Santa and not be teased I think your little boy should be ok for a whilesmilesmile

For YEARS it was Sesame street... right into his teens, and again no one seemed to blink an eye.

We have told him Santa stops at 18 (then Mum does the stockings as I do for my other older children/young adults) and he accepts that. But I'm sure he will still be tracking Santa when he is 30 grin

Balaboosta Tue 22-Oct-13 03:12:40

As a rule, I wouldn't ever discourage an obsession <places eBay bid on shiny lilac party dress for DS>

I take my doll on the plane and people think its a real baby. grin I am very scared of flying though.

Trigglesx Mon 28-Oct-13 10:31:04

DS1 (7) seems to be roughly emotionally the same level (sometimes lower) of our 4yo DS2. He definitely watches younger age programming than other children his age - our DGS is about 6 months older and into Doctor Who and Star Wars, and DS1 won't even entertain those programmes at all. He's still into young cartoons and such.

1leggedwobbler Thu 31-Oct-13 23:33:07

If you & DC are happy then carry on. His classmates don't need to know what he reads at home. My DD, AS, is definitely emotionally not as far advanced as her peers & struggles with CBBC for example.

VikingLady Fri 01-Nov-13 20:43:02

How would he react/feel if you removed them? Babyish things are often a form of comfort blanket. Would he be disturbed or upset without them?

FWIW I still read kids books when I am stressed and need to retreat, and I had an adult reading age at 7. DH plays kids computer games.

You can deal with ridicule if or when it happens.

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