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My Ds has just spent the past ten minutes hitting me .

(36 Posts)

I can't take it , it hurts .
He is only 4.11 , what have I done so wrong.

Imperial It would certainly help if they did notice .
I managed to speak to his Teacher the other day & told her everything that was happening and she was shocked , though I swear I have told her before and it is all in his file as he went to Nursery their

ImperialBlether Sat 05-Oct-13 20:02:46

You need to have a film of his behaviour, justaquickone. If he behaves differently with others and if those other people can make a difference, you need to show them what he's like.

It sounds so difficult; I'm so sorry.

Shellywelly1973 Sat 05-Oct-13 20:44:22

My DS has a diagnosis of ASD&ADHD.

He is very physically aggressive hes 8. He has incredible strength.

When he gets physical, I aways warn him there will be consequences...always.

DS has no empathy so its impossible to make him see how he makes others feel.

So although its not ideal, if he behaves in a way we don't allow there is a direct consequence. Cause & affect. He hates it but I don't know how else to manage him. He attends a special school & they restrain him but I really feel its to easy just to restrain rather then teach him that behaviour isn't acceptable.

Its bloody hard. Take care...

TheCrumpetQueen Sat 05-Oct-13 20:46:26

What part of the country are you?

Imperial Thanks ill try and get one

crumpets I'm North West on the Coast

Shelly Yes it is very hard , I try with the consequences and it does work though not often , If it wasn't for my Ds going to the nursery where he attends school now i honestly think he would be in a special school as he would not of coped at all with the size if classes etc flowers

Peacocklady Sun 06-Oct-13 07:41:44

One thing you could do would be to google parent partnership and you can get in touch with someone in your area who can maybe help.

Some other things I'd try and do at home would be to have predictable routines like getting dressed, broken into stages and written out or done in pictures, limited time on gaming/tv avoiding violent games especially, one to one play activities with you and your undivided attention, preparation for visits by talking and showing pics, avoid shopping with him where possible (!), clear warning and time frame for when something will end and a calm consistent approach to tantrums. Don't let tantrums achieve anything!

It must be frustrating when others don't see it but try and be grateful for that, build on the positives, diagnosis and support takes ages and any you get will come in the form of helping you to manage him so the earlier you start the better. No one knows him more than you but if there's conflicting evidence about his behaviour things will not happen quickly, sounds like you've had a taste of it with the melatonin. Don't give up, be strong x

DS2 has Aspergers and ADHD, thankfully not agressive, but there have been times when his behaviour was very difficult to manage.

The school SENCO recommended a course called Managing Behaviour in Children With Additional Needs, run by an external organisation. It really helped, gave me some strategies and also more confidence. I will try to find out who ran it. The course was free of charge.

I realise this is based in Hertfordshire, but if you email them, they might know of something similar in the North West.

Thanks Three ill have a look

PolterGoose Sun 06-Oct-13 15:46:51

Hi justa I'm another mother of an angry child who has Aspergers. My ds is 10 now and it has got a lot easier to manage as he's got older and his thinking skills have improved! At that age I found that predictable routines and picture timetables helped, physical activity and making sure he was never hungry, thirsty or needing a wee or poo - he has always had real problems recognising physical signs and these all made him much more angry.

Sensory processing difficulties often contribute to temper problems so if he hasn't already been referred to an OT do request it. 'The Out of Sync Child' is a good book about this and has lots of activities to try.

It is also really common for children with Aspergers to appear to have really good language skills which actually hides some communication/language problems, it really helps to use very clear and simple instructions, so you say his name and give the instruction in as few words as you can use eg "Jeff, coat on please" or "Bob, carrots or peas?" Allow extra time for him to process requests, count to 6 slowly in your head before you check he heard and actually understood you!

Read stuff, learn stuff, keep a diary, make notes, try out strategies, video stuff that mostly happens at home.

Look at the National Autistic Society website and find out if any of their 'Help!' courses are running near you, we did one on anger and Aspergers and it was very good.

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