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Goose and Carrot - 4th October

(207 Posts)
Bluebirdonmyshoulder Fri 04-Oct-13 15:44:57

Afternoon all, bluechick is having a nap so I thought I'd open up and enjoy a swift half!

The fire is lit, the jukebox is on, the sofa is plumped, help yourselves to crisps and peanuts and pork scratchings.

Here's to another week survived, anyone got any nice plans for the weekend?

wine Cheers

NoHaudinMaWheest Fri 04-Oct-13 20:58:09

Moose one thing after another. Hopefully it will eventually settle down.

Galena good luck for Monday.

AYC loud hello to Africa.

Ellen happy birthday to your Ds for Sunday.

I wasn't sure how the transport appeal went on Monday but on reflection the officer had dug himself into a hole by saying that if she moved to the designated school they would provide transport. His junior then said that there was minimal cost difference between providing transport to the two schools. We had ample medical evidence that moving schools would be detrimental to dd and fortunately the councillors decided to ignore the officer's patronising comment that such moves could be easily managed.

moosemama Fri 04-Oct-13 21:00:55

Cross posted NoHaudin. Yes it is just teething problems, but it all feels huge to ds and he's had enough. Can't wait for half term - he really needs a break.

I bet that officer was kicking himself afterwards - hoist by his own petard methinks. grin

Trigglesx Fri 04-Oct-13 21:27:34

I think I am still reeling a bit from last night's nonsense. Honestly do not understand how someone can be so vile to spout the things they did and others (not us, but OTHERS on the thread) just stand back and let them. Did ANYONE that is not part of the SNs board stand up against the troll and call them on it? Not that I can remember. Some days I feel really alone in this.

PolterGoose Fri 04-Oct-13 21:34:53

I can't keep up already

wine and cake for all who need it for fortification, celebration and medical purposes.

I'm still a bit shell shocked by all my drama, and utterly amazed at people reading my ridiculously long posts, you are all luffly flowers

Triggles it's shit isn't it, I did so enjoy typing 'fuck off' though, it was exactly what I needed grin and although I got deleted <whispers> I haven't had a telling off from MNHQ

NoHaud hurrah!!

Very well done. Must have been stressful appealing. wine

zzzzz Fri 04-Oct-13 21:42:41

NoHaud yay! Well done, that must be a relief.

Belsbels Fri 04-Oct-13 22:09:35

Hello, this is my first time in the pub! I am new-ish to the threads, but received some fab advice earlier in the year on dealing with the school after my DS (6) was diagnosed with ASD and was struggling.

Since last posting we have relocated 200 miles due to work, and started DS at a new school. Despite a detailed handover, it appears the support I fought for has not been replicated, and there have been a number of playground "incidents" already, with DS hurting other children, and the parental complaints have started <sigh>.

I know I have to pick myself up and start the fight all over again, but for now I might just sit quietly in the corner with a glass of wine, if that's ok.

PolterGoose Fri 04-Oct-13 22:12:30

Hello Bels welcome and wine

Sorry you're having school crap too sad

ouryve Fri 04-Oct-13 22:22:14

ripping and moose - wine (I think I have a drop left in the bottle that fell into my trolley, last night, when we had to go to Sainsburys in the pouring rain after realising, while I was making tea, that DS2 was scrounging for the very last crust of bread and my morning phone call had distracted me from my task of making some)

AYC - a drop for you, too!!!

youarewinning - about to find out about the private sensory OT. I've successfully made contact with one because I need an up to date sensory profile for tribunal for DS1. I know exactly what his needs are, through necessity, but obviously, mum's opinions don't count for much in these situations.

Belsbels - Welcome! if you want more than a mouth full, I hope you have your own bottle wink

Belsbels Fri 04-Oct-13 22:23:52

Thanks Polter. Sorry your week has been tough too.

Here's to a good weekend for all of us.

Belsbels Fri 04-Oct-13 22:25:31

Ha ha ouryve, I do and I do!

ouryve Fri 04-Oct-13 22:30:09

DS1 flipped at teatime, btw. He became really obsessive and refused to eat the corn on the cob he'd chosen by himself for his tea. Told me that sometimes food had to be wasted. Said, OK, but you pay for it, then and we don't buy it, again (we're still keeping a tab of food challenges, so considered it fair to have a negative entry - he likes corn on the cob, ffs!)

So he decided that, rather than reckon up at pocket money time, he was going to give us a pound coin and we had to give him change. Explained to him that we weren't going to reward him for wasting food (remember he's obsessed with coins). He ended up refusing a bath, which will be awful for him, as he did not wipe at all well, this evening and he'll end up sore and itchy.

DS2 was feeding off his mood and whacking me, constantly. Horribly crampy all evening and having to take some very deep breaths. Thankfully, he snuggled in for a good long hair brush, before bedtime (he has long hair - see profile!) which was very relaxing, ven though my arm ended up aching!

Handywoman Fri 04-Oct-13 22:43:34

Oh god I've just actually lost it with my very lovely but totally disorganised dyslexic dd1 who is dancing in London tomorrow morning. After this evenings rehearsal at dd1's request I went on a special mercy mission to buy all important hair clips from big supermarket in the next town. Then implored dd1 to pack ready for the next day while I sloped off to OOH GP to organize much needed antibiotics for my raging tonsillitis (am single parent, neighbour popped round to babysit). On my return dd1 was predictably faffing about despite assuring me by text she was packed. Then I am prompting her to get sorted and now with all the faffing the clips I bought not two hours before are LOST! I'm afraid I reached my limit and have let her know how bloody irritated I am. And now instead of a calm, early night there is angst and sobbing and illness. Please can someone poor gin into my pint glass? Not sure it works with the antibiotics but am past caring. How can it be this bloody hard?

youarewinning Fri 04-Oct-13 22:44:49

OK wise ones help!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Double duvet and the new fat pillows overaking on DS bed seem to have helped with sleeping. However he's taking 2-3 hours to drop off at night.
Started trampolining tonight and seemed tired. When he went to bed the bulb in his was lamp had blown and he wanted his disco ball lights on. Notice an hour later he's soundo. grin

So........... trampolining?, the lights, tiredness?

It reminded me of when he was little and we lived abroad how he'd fall asleep better in his pushchair outside a noisy pub better than at home in bed hmm

Also things at school have seemed better so far........., however........ after school club have increasingly reported he's been a bit of a nightmare. They say shouty and loud on bus, refusing to sit places etc. Tonight apparently he was asked to move over for a girl to sit next to him and said "you could have found someone better for me to sit next to" ASC said they spoke to him, how would he feel etc, but I said it's hard because he only has sad and upset as an emotion and I'm not sure he really grasps them and what they actually feel like iyswim? I also said he knows what it feels like in a way because it's the sort of thing children say to him all the time.
I think he just copies and says it to children he knows he can affect because he can't stand up for himself with his peers.

Anyway I read him merry hell and he lost minecraft time - he knows this is a consequence of rudeness/ bad behaviour. He did however say he wasn't shouty or at least didn't realise he was - the first time ever he's actually indicated this. Do you think he really doesn't realise and just lets it all out without thinking?

I only know about the incident because I could tell he was wired when I collected him and commented to the ASC leader.

Everyday he's coming home from school saying X did this and that because............... he always thinks people do things deliberately and thinks he knows their motives.... anyone else get this?

MariaBoredOfLurking Fri 04-Oct-13 22:47:43

Read properly now. Hi Bels, <passes crisps>

NoHoudin, well done with the transport flowers and AYC, didn't realise you meant Africa when you said hot! Fab grin Moose, I think this poster explains the mechanism linking arsey schools with nastiness to dc with SEN.

Ouryve, and youhave, is it Northern or Southern OTs that are wanted?

youarewinning Fri 04-Oct-13 23:06:14

I'm south coast

zzzzz Sat 05-Oct-13 04:30:03

I enjoyed reading this little ramble

deevybee.blogspot.co.uk/2010/12/whats-in-name.html?m=1

It reminds me of lots of our discussions on dx and profiling.

ouryve Sat 05-Oct-13 08:21:19

Northern, here, Maria. I'm having a chat with one, next week.

youarewinning Sat 05-Oct-13 09:04:04

Oh my!!!!!!!!!! I was convinced DS has some sort of sensory processing disorder as well as - or maybe this is the difficulties he has - the ASD or SCD he's being assessed for. I have found this website - it describes my DS to a T including many of the co incidences with children with SPD. The list of sensory modulation disorder is him and he does have 1 or 2 of the other symptoms from the other lists.

Going to print it out and take it to pead cons next week when we go - it's for his bowel problems but GP has also sent details of the difficulties he's experiencing too as it may be linked.

www.thespiralfoundation.org/pdfs/parent_factsheet.pdf

DontSweatTheSmallStuff Sat 05-Oct-13 09:39:01

Morning

<<hugs>> for Ripping and Handywoman moose Polter and anyone else who needs them.

NoHaudin thats's great news.smile

Welcome Bels. Ds1 struggles with the playground too. Too much noise and chaos.

Ds1 is still doing afternoons only with 1;1 but not in class and it's going well in terms of getting him happy/used to being in school but I found out yesterday that he has missed the school photos being done so we have one for ds2 at his school but non for ds1 sad, and also there's a school trip that i'm assuming ds1 won't be going on as we've had no info which is probably ok in terms of him having to handle going but it's just a reminder to me that he's missing out on lots of stuff.

SummerRain Sat 05-Oct-13 11:08:59

Youarewinning... Ds1 has SPD but it's un-dx because over here its not a recognised condition for obtaining resources so the OT felt there was no point in an official dx. He's a sensory seeker, needs huge amounts of sensory input, especially vestibular and oral.

brew and biscuits for all of you having a stressful start to the weekend. I'm afraid I've only skimmed the thread... I'm really not supposed to be on MN today, last chance to cram for the exam today

PolterGoose Sat 05-Oct-13 12:53:27

Good luck Summer flowers

MariaBoredOfLurking Sat 05-Oct-13 13:17:12

OT peeps, mainly south bumped and DIY resources

ouryve Sat 05-Oct-13 13:50:22

Thanks Maria. We've had DS1 profiled in the fairly distant past, but I need a report for tribunal.

And i finally got my letter from the LA this morning. Despite the lengthy report from their own, fairly senior EP, they've refused to amend his statement at all. I'm still seeing this as good (for a given value of good), because they have knowingly given me grounds to appeal. Given that I want to name an Indy school, a more adversarial LA could have shut me down with no right to appeal, at this point. The optimistic side of me is still believing that this is an exercise in red tape, accountability (I hardly expected them to say "here you are, lets send you son to a school that will cost us twice as much, without question") and stalling. SENCO has been trying to get in touch with EP.

youarewinning Sat 05-Oct-13 17:48:55

Thanks Maria.

Have just read something very interesting and given myself brainache grin

My DS is on waiting list for assessment of ASD or SCD. He fits many ASD criteria but there's always something that's been at the back of my mind that it isn't ASD. I've always considered AS (which obviously comes under an ASD!), except his language is not and never was advanced although he does have the "professor speak". I've always noted his spacial awareness and body awareness are poor and his general hand function isn't good but his use of his fingers is stronger.

I've been looking at SPD/SI for ideas of how to help him and found the website above I posted. Also found one that showed how to test the primitive reflexes and "played a game" with DS to test these. A few he doesn't seem to have retained but the 3 that were obviously still apparently retained on further investigation match the difficulties he has iyswim?

So I'm thinking he probably has a SPD with SCD.

So reading further I find an article on the new DSM V and how everything will come under ASD now and where that leaves people with AS and PDD NOS.

The article says they are looking to replace it with SCD - which is one of the things he's being assessed for!

So now I'm confused and feel like I'm going round in circles. I still feel as if they are trying to DX an umbrella term rather than look at each difficulty seperately and how to help him with each.

I just feel atm if they say ASD/SCD we won't be any further on. But if we know he has sensory processing problems, auditory or visual processing and how we can work on these it would be more helpful.

Sorry for the ramble - struggling with it all this week - and petrified about the fact I have to start thinking about secondary when no-body really knows why he has his difficulties difficulties and specialist support DS needs.

Thanks for reading my pity party. wine

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