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Goose and Carrot - Hazeyjane's coffee/gin morning - all welcome!

(584 Posts)
hazeyjane Fri 27-Sep-13 10:59:29

i have just spent the morning at a school mum coffee morning (in a pub no less!).

As I sat there with ds asleep on the bench next to me, after having had only 4 hours sleep last night, I was thinking how lovely it would be if i was sat in a pub with you lot drinking at an inappropriately early time of the day.

So come and join me in my lovely cosy pub, I will be serving coffees, teas and any booze you fancy, a huge range of unhealthy bar snacks are available, just watch out for the small blonde boy curled up asleep in the corner!

PolterGoose Fri 27-Sep-13 11:12:07

Morning hazey coffee, cake and you lot sounds fab smile

RippingYarns Fri 27-Sep-13 11:20:40

Morning <helps self to coffee and massive slice of carrot cake, leaves money in dish>

I start on these lovely chat threads then lose my place, I'll try to keep up with this one

Your DS is making me feel snoozy and warm just knowing he's there

NoHaudinMaWheest Fri 27-Sep-13 11:21:50

Morning Hazey sounds just what I need. Huge mug of tea and enormous piece of cake please.
Was it Ds who kept you up last night?
My stresses of the week are:
Ds is struggling with the transition to 6th form and has missed 4 days already due to worsening OCD. He is due to go on a residential adventure type trip with the school on Sunday. Both school and centre have been great about making adjustments for him but he is anxious though very keen to go. I am really anxious he has never been away without a parent before. He is also 17 today.

We have the appeal hearing for Dd's transport to school on Monday. The local councillor thinks we have a good case but is afraid that the appeals committee have been instructed to say 'no' to everyone.

MIL had an operation on her leg a couple of weeks ago. Physically she is recovering well but she is depressed and down and stressing DH out.

Dh is stressing me. He just does not get Ds's needs even now. Not to mention thinking that his singing can just take priority over family needs. He has however agreed to go to the GP to ask for referral for ASD assessment. I hope this will ultimately be a good thing but can see it being mega stressy in the meantime.

kinkyfuckery Fri 27-Sep-13 11:30:04

Good morning - or not so good, it's wet and dreary here sad Weather was supposed to be dry so I have two loads of washing waiting to go on the line, grr.

We've had a not too bad week with DD1 - other than her taking a tumble in the playground early in the week and she is now sporting a rather grazed eye - totally looks like she has been punched in the eye (am so glad it was witnessed in the playground - otherwise I think SS would be nosing around lol)

Having a bit of a drama here that I haven't shared until now.

DD1 had an ADOS earlier in the summer. We were told at the ADOS that she was definitely going to be diagnosed with ASD, but that they wanted to reassess her once she was stabilised on her medication (combined ADHD, is currently on 20mg of Medikinet XL, which seems to be working well for her - much better than the previous meds). Had an appointment with her MH worker a couple of weeks ago where she completely blindsided me with it turning out to be the results of her ADOS. They've decided - without reassessment - that she doesn't have ASD and all her problems are related to her ADHD. I completely disagree. I have another appointment with the MH worker on Monday - to start the New Forest Parenting Programme thing - and I'm going to tell her I want them to go ahead with the reassessment as previously agreed. Don't know how much of a fight I'm going to have to get it, possibly none, but the thought is making me very anxious.

Also have a Stage 2 intervention meeting with the Head Teacher of DD1s new school - moved her after the summer for a couple of reasons (one that we moved catchment area, and also she was being badly bullied at previous school and they were useless at dealing with it - i.e. not dealing with it at all!). I'm going to ask for closer supervision in the playground, hopefully one-on-one, as this seems to be where she struggles hugely socially, and signs of bullying are already showing. We've also agreed to assess her for dyslexia, so am assuming this will be discussed at the meeting.

kinkyfuckery Fri 27-Sep-13 11:34:11

Happy birthday to your DS NoHaudin Have you anything nice planned?

SummerRain Fri 27-Sep-13 11:44:32

Morning all, and happy birthday to NoHaudinJunior grincake

I'm not in great humour tbh, ds2 has taken to appearing in my bed in the middle of the night and I spend the rest of the night contorted around him and deeply uncomfortable, if I try and shift him over a bit (it's a superking size bed for exactly this reason ffs!) he wakes up and climbs even further on top of me. I'm tired and achey and woke up this morning with a headache and swollen tonsils too so am feeling doubly miserable. They were all up at 6am screaming blue murder at each other just to top it all off.

Study is not going well, I'm snappy and shouty with the kids sad

kinky... angry on your behalf, hopefully that particular mental health worker won't be the one making the decision. During ds1's assessment the CAMHS SALT told me she was going to recommend he wasn't a candidate for assessment and she felt he was a waste of CAMHS resources. He was dx with ADHD and ASD a month later so clearly her recommendation wasn't as influential as she'd made out but she worried me with her announcement.

PolterGoose Fri 27-Sep-13 11:46:23

Happy birthday to your ds NoHaudin cake Good luck for the appeal and hope ds can do the residential, just planning to go is fantastic, so if he doesn't or he needs to come home early, it's still fab. Your dh needs a kick up the arse <laces up steel toe cap boots>

kinky hope you can address all the crap, you can request second opinion for ASD assessment and go somewhere specialist, hoping school can support dd at playtimes, it makes such a difference.

Ripping you don't have to keep up, just like a real pub or coffee shop you can just pop in and say random stuff, well... that's what I do grin

I fancy a scone!

PolterGoose Fri 27-Sep-13 11:47:07

Summer brew

RippingYarns Fri 27-Sep-13 11:58:23

Thank you, so I will!

I'm meant to be going out for a run right now, but waiting for paracetamol to kick in as having awful menstrual cramps today, blasted peri-menopause really is life changing <shovels more cake in>

Was my last post 'random' and 'coffeeshoppy' enough?

Wheesty, You've got a lot going on atm. Must be really stressful, though happy birthday Young Wheesty.

Kinky How old if your dd?

I have been a bit better lately, but the couple of 1:1 threads have really upset me.

I have no idea why as it isn't like I don't KNOW what teachers think. But accusing parents who would like the 1:1 provision as detailed in their child's statement to be adhered to as selfish and greedy is just......

again, it isn't news to me.

Perhaps it is my inbox full of PMs from TAs who are too unsure of themselves to post on the thread and want to know how to raise it with their schools without being sacked.

What answer should I give?

Actually my inbox isn't full. But there are a few.

kinkyfuckery Fri 27-Sep-13 12:14:10

Thanks Polter and Summer

Starlight she is 8 and is just coming to the end of her first term of p4.

NoHaudinMaWheest Fri 27-Sep-13 12:14:17

Thanks for the birthday wishes for Ds.
DH is going out on a singing related thing tonight sad. So we will do birthday cake and presents early then have a Chinese (ds's choice) tomorrow.
Summer ouch hope things improve soon.
Kinky nothing like nipping things in the bud with regard to school. Hopefully the MH worker is exceeding her remit there.

RippingYarns Fri 27-Sep-13 12:15:35

I've been lurking on those threads, Star, depressing isn't the word for it, especially as we're fresh from a CAMHS meeting where our consultant is eager to write to school suggesting 1:1 support for DD as a preventative measure.

KeepOnKeepingOn1 Fri 27-Sep-13 12:19:37

I did not know that you didn't need to keep up blush (wasn't made explicit and I was unaware of my misunderstanding so didn't ask for clarification blush)

In contrast to last week I saved a kitten this week - found him before the dog. smile

Somewhat distracted by ADHD nurse suggesting medication after observing DS2 in school. He can't even be diagnosed as he does not display the same behaviour in two setting so I am confused and concerned by this. School have minimised saying the problem is mainly during carpet time and that he has good and bad days. He has bad days and worse days and the behaviour is severe all day, every day. angrysad

Feel guilty for wanting a break (and to finish writing my thesis) before going into battle again sad

ouryve Fri 27-Sep-13 12:27:16

Coffee, tea and booze, please. Just line it up on the bar for me.

Still painting. Physically knackered, but there's an end (to this end of the room) in sight. There has to be, whether we like it, or not, because new sofas arrive Monday and it's DH's birthday on Tuesday (one with a nought in it.)

Had a rough start to the morning. While I was in the bathroom, DS1 decided he didn't want DS2 playing upstairs. Thankfully, DS2 survived the tumble down the stairs and stopped shaking a lot quicker than I did. I feel quite sick thinking about the what could have beens. DS1 being DS1 complained bitterly about all the crying (well, duh) and didn't understand why we were furious with him. sad

ouryve Fri 27-Sep-13 12:37:16

NoHaudin - happy birthday to your DS1

We had things the other way around with DS1. He'd already had his ASD diagnosis for a few years when we went through the ADHD diagnostic process. He came up on the questionnaires as predominantly oppositional at school and hyperactive at home. The MH worker tried to suggest that it couldn't be ADHD, if there was disagreement, until I pointed out that there is a lot more for him to be oppositional about at school, while we see him at home, in the evening, when he's extra bouncy and tired. Thankfully, we passed the gatekeeper as the psychiatrist concluded that with ASD, he's not going to present exactly as per the textbooks, anyhow. Thank goodness for a bit of wisdom.

NoHaudinMaWheest Fri 27-Sep-13 12:51:33

The poster on the thread 'Dd is coping less and less at school' has a yr 6 child who has sns and is being severely bullied.
It isn't something I (fortunately) have experience of so could anyone else help.

zzzzz Fri 27-Sep-13 13:06:17

Late as always and no real time, not least because I am sucked into a book [shameless bookworm grin].

Ds is reading again. HOORAH! We are 20% of the way through yr1 maths (sigh he is in year 4) but making rapid progress. It is the more than/less than/below/under etc that is only just possible. I am trying not to die of boredom sticking the language onto the skills he already has. Still he just can't do key stage 2 without it as far as I can see.

Oh lord weeping child....can I take cake with me?

autumnsmum Fri 27-Sep-13 13:15:37

About to go into school for meeting about ds being bullied .On a more positive note dd2 is doing amazingly well at her brilliant ss .happy birthday to little nohaudin

PolterGoose Fri 27-Sep-13 13:20:52

Good luck at school autumn flowers

SummerRain Fri 27-Sep-13 13:23:23

ouryve... ds1 has a similar approach to making ds2 go away. We've not had the full stairs yet but yesterday he slammed him into the bannister post at the bottom, this morning he almost knocked him down the stairs walloping him with the doorframe he'd broken on monday (it was still half attached to the wall until he decided it would make a good anti ds2 weapon, i'm not naive enough to just leave a length of wood lying around), last saturday I got woken at 6am by him slamming ds2's hand in a door, he's repeatedly kicked, pulled or pushed ds2 off the couch onto the wooden floor.

Yet ds2 keeps going back for more, it would be so much easier if ds2 would just steer clear of him but 10 seconds after being attacked he'll be right back beside him trying to play [tears hair out]

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