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Goose and Carrot, 6th Sept. End of first week drinkies!

(161 Posts)
Galena Fri 06-Sep-13 18:18:25

Let me open the doors today. All welcome!

We've had a good week. DD has started school and seems happy enough - a far cry from the insecure, screamy child who wouldn't let me leave the room for 5 minutes a year ago at preschool.

Apart from that, not much has happened... Still waiting for confirmation of her op, still waiting for report following complaint from her mri...

PolterGoose Fri 13-Sep-13 16:02:49
moosemama Fri 13-Sep-13 16:09:19

Summer - sorry momentary lapse, damn my holey brain. I know your not in the UK so why did I suggest a walk in centre? <<slaps own face>>

BigBlue, thank you. Dh has spoken with the SENCO and the LA transport woman this morning.

SENCO said it absolutely should not ever have been allowed to happen and it's basically a 'hands-up' we take the blame situation. She has promised it will never happen again and systems will be in place by pick-up this afternoon to ensure that is the case. Part of the problem has apparently been because the taxi escort is supposed to collect her cohort from the school and escort them to the taxi, but has so far failed to shift her butt further than opening the door. There are a group of LSAs that accompany the pupils to their buses/taxis, but when they couldn't see the LSA yesterday the older boy told the group they had to go to the pick-up point without her. Then they disappeared into the melee of nt pupils headed home to the normal bus stop, which is next to their taxi point, so no-one realised they shouldn't have been there.

LA transport lady has emailed all the complaints to the taxi firm (to create a written record) and is following it up with a phonecall. They will then be given a short time to fix everything and if they don't official action will be taken to sever the contract BUT she said not to expect a response from them before next TUESDAY and still hadn't sent the email at lunchtime today! angry

I am not happy about this at all. Imo what has happened in just one week amounts to a total neglect of their duty of care towards ds and the other children on his route. Both the SENCO and LA lady said there have been fundamental safeguarding failures on more than one occasion and imo that is enough to instigate immediate action.

The taxi firm have been caught out lying between us, ds, the school and the LA (as in they've told us all completely different stories about the same cock-up) and if they are willing to be that blatant in their disregard for our dc's safety they shouldn't be allowed to look after (and I use that term very loosely) them. I honestly don't know how they expect us to continue putting our dcs in the so-called care of these people without definite reassurance that things will be done properly from now on. In fact I doubt there is much they can say to reassure me that this firm will ever be capable of doing the job properly. Blooming LAs and their bureaucratic nonsense. angry

claw2 Fri 13-Sep-13 16:57:17

Moose the fact they let him off school premises is terrible and to think I only asked the LA yesterday about school transport too. Your ds sounds similar to mine.

On the plus side, SALT has given me her email address and I can contact her directly and spell it out for her, in the nicest possible way of course! Previous schools and SALT did whatever to keep me in the dark to cover their backs, so 100% improvement, in as at least this SALT is being open and honest and feeding back her opinions.

Ds came out from school today saying he hates school because he hadn't understood the maths work and couldn't do it, despite raising his hand (whether he did or not, im not sure, probably not) no one came to help him or explain the work to him (he is supposed to have a named TA). So I am assuming he did none or little work in maths, but nothing is written in his contact book.

But still as you say 100% better than previous schools, at least I have a contact book, that will be replied to. So hopefully even if they are not initially seeing his difficulties, once pointed out, they will become more aware.

moosemama Fri 13-Sep-13 17:04:14

Claw, saga continues on the new Goose and Carrot thread - unfortunately.

Glad you are able to contact the SALT directly. Hopefully she will be willing to listen and actually go back and read his reports properly. Good luck.

My ds is exactly the same - one bad lesson and he hates school. Ds wasn't asking for help (he shares an LSA - well two actually depending on the lesson - with 2 other boys) because they've been told not to speak in class. I told him to put his hand up and wait and he said there's no point because if you put your hand up they tell you to put it down. (I can almost guarantee he's seen this happen maybe once in the week he's been there and it became 'fact' in an instance.)

We were given a contact book last night as well. Prior to that I had no way of communicating with his LSAs other than a tiny little box in his homework diary. That was full after day 1!

claw2 Fri 13-Sep-13 17:27:24

Yep that sounds the same as ds, then this bad lesson will become 2, then a bad experience in PE (another SN boy throwing a basket ball in his face) according to ds 'on purpose, because he was angry', then something else and something. Ds will hang onto these bad experiences, regardless of any good experiences, hate school and not want to go. THIS is what he needs help with!

The pattern tends to be ds starts off well, then it goes downhill (not necessarily schools fault, but ds's perceptions of events)

I will try and pop over to the new thread later and have a read.

moosemama Fri 13-Sep-13 17:58:49

The only thing that worked to help ds1 with his 'the worst day every' 'hate school' attitude was introducing a feelings diary that he had to fill in morning, lunch and afternoon. It took him about 18 months to two years to start actually being able to identify specific emotions, prior to that he just used an emotion scale. Then he gradually learned how to tell his inclusion worker why he felt the emotion he identified and by the end of the third/beginning of the fourth year in the process he had started to recognise that he felt different emotions throughout the day and perhaps it wasn't 'all bad' then eventually he started splitting the morning, lunch and afternoon records down, as he started to recognise he was feeling different emotions within those chunks of time - which was massive.

The whole process took years, but it really has helped with his emotional regulation and understanding and also to open up to specified members of school staff about his anxieties.

Unfortunately in y6 the arrogant staff felt it was unnecessary and as a result he clammed up completely and wouldn't tell them anything. He started putting 5 - Feeling OK for every single entry, because he said they never helped him sort out problems anyway and they didn't want to understand things from his point of view. Sadly, he wasn't wrong. sad

claw2 Fri 13-Sep-13 18:14:24

Thanks, I will write the feelings diary down for upcoming meeting, sounds like it might be worth a try.

They have tried an anxiety school with ds in previous school, as usually they balls it up, by not understanding the purpose of how to use it. If ds rated below 5, he was asked to explain why, the problem is he cant explain why, so he did the same and always rated above 5 just so he didn't have to explain! Which meant to school yay ds isn't anxious hmm no it doesn't! The purpose was for ds to be able to express his anxieties to you, he is doing it, so its not a success argh!!

moosemama Fri 13-Sep-13 18:29:09

Ds couldn't explain what the problem was, let alone how he felt about it and why when he first started out. It was a very gradual shift over the first 18 months/2 years, then he seemed to improve in leaps.

Your ds always rating above 5, sounds like exactly the same tactics ds started using last year. He learned there was no point in telling them anything other than he was ok, because never understood, let alone sorted the problem out (he had a nice, but particularly useless and insensitive TA last year and his teacher was on a mission to prove to me that he didn't have ASD hmm).

It should be different in a decent school, as hopefully they'll learn that they will be heard and steps taken to help them with their anxieties and/or problems, but the trust has to come first and I guess both our boys have a long way to go to build that in a whole new school with staff that are effectively a bunch of strangers.

... and of course it all starts with someone recognising that just because they know a lot of words, doesn't mean they can communicate effectively ...

claw2 Fri 13-Sep-13 18:35:04

Exactly Keep, I am really hoping it has only been just over a week, that they will get the hang of ds! Ds can chat for England about things he wants to talk about, when anxious he clams up, sits quietly and withdraws, which in the past has equalled 'aww such a quiet, well behaved boy' grr!

Thanks so much for the ideas and always nice chatting to someone who knows exactly what I mean smile. Im off for the weekend, hope you have a good one.

claw2 Fri 13-Sep-13 18:36:36

Keep, doh I mean Moose, keep is on another thread! defo time to log off, im going mad!

moosemama Fri 13-Sep-13 18:40:34

Likewise Claw, good to know neither of us - or our dses are alone with this.

Have a good weekend. smile

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