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Goose and Carrot, 6th Sept. End of first week drinkies!

(161 Posts)
Galena Fri 06-Sep-13 18:18:25

Let me open the doors today. All welcome!

We've had a good week. DD has started school and seems happy enough - a far cry from the insecure, screamy child who wouldn't let me leave the room for 5 minutes a year ago at preschool.

Apart from that, not much has happened... Still waiting for confirmation of her op, still waiting for report following complaint from her mri...

moosemama Thu 12-Sep-13 20:21:54

Woohoo zzzzz. Fantastic news. grin

Hope you have a speedy recovery. flowers

PolterGoose Argentina Thu 12-Sep-13 20:31:43

Onwards and upwards zzzzz so glad you're free if it all grin

SallyBear Thu 12-Sep-13 20:45:23

Moose. I have no words for you. Just speechless that a taxi company can treat vulnerable children in that way. I would take umbrage with the school too. There needs to be an adult supervising that these kids have gotten into the school transport. This way then the school can chase it up rather than leaving it to a vulnerable child to sort out. angryangryangryangryangry
Doc Martens. Lace them up tight.

moosemama Thu 12-Sep-13 21:10:36

We will be straight onto the school at 8.00 am tomorrow - they aren't getting out of this either.

Typically, it's the first time the LSA hasn't been there to take them to the taxi stop - sod's law that the bloody taxi didn't actually turn up on the same day.

Ds1 said that he was scared and didn't know what to do, but X (older boy) said they should just go or the taxi might go without them. Ds1 already idolises X, as he's quite a bit older and runs the Minecraft club, so just did whatever he said - which kind of reinforces my point that he is too trusting and vulnerable. Fortunately X did have the good sense to take them all back inside when it became obvious the taxi really wasn't coming.

I have told him from now on if there's no LSA there, go straight to Reception and ask where they are. He's terrified of missing the taxi and said he thought he might have to stay at school all night if it went without him. sad I have now explained that as long as he goes to Reception, school will help him sort it out and worst case scenario is that dh or Grandma will come straight over there and pick him up, but we can only do that if he goes back into the school and tells a member of staff.

I've drilled it into him to always tell a member of staff if there's a problem in future and not rely on other pupils to sort things out and tell him what to do.

My blood runs cold when I think what could've happened. sad

NoHaudinMaWheest Thu 12-Sep-13 21:55:53

Moose That is sooo bad of the taxi firm obviously they should never have had the contract. But it is really bad of the school too. Ds had a special taxi just for him so that he could do an after school club one night a week. It sometimes didn't turn up or waited in the wrong place but even though it was after hours a member of staff always sorted it out for him and let me know what was happening. And Ds was older and this was a large ms comprehensive.
Hope you get sense from everyone tomorrow.

Sally so sad for your dd the school sounds really insensitive. Hope the meeting tomorrow sorts it.

zzzzz here's to no more stents.

polter that's a great result. Why can't all HTs be like that? Oh and flowers for a great email.

Ds had a bad day today but I think I'll post about it tomorrow - I can't face reliving it tonight. Have to chase up DD's physio with school tomorrow too.

Trigglesx Thu 12-Sep-13 22:00:53

moosemama oh god, I can't even imagine how upset you must be. DS1 would have been gone if that happened - he would have simply run off. This is why I'm terrified to allow transport for him anyway - we live just at the cut off, and I think if we pushed it they would allow it, but I just can't stomach the thought of it. Scary!! Thank goodness one of them was old enough and able to think to get them all back inside.

hazeyjane DS1 managed to break one of those stress balls - the white powdery stuff (flour-like) went EVERYWHERE! I was cleaning it out for ages!! Just when I thought I'd gotten it all, I'd find a bit more somewhere.

DS1 has discovered a real interest in history. They were talking about the battle of Hastings in school today and he has literally memorised a bunch of facts. He was rattling them off to me in the car. He was fascinated that history is FACTS, thank you very much, and he LIKES FACTS. grin

PolterGoose Argentina Thu 12-Sep-13 22:12:49

Triggles grin my ds's most frequently used sentence opener is "Can I tell you an interesting fact?"

and... NoHaudin he is using your ds's "In other news..." To great effect grin

Trigglesx Thu 12-Sep-13 22:18:53

Polter I like that. I pointed out to DS1 that he has some "horrible histories" book and he just raised an eyebrow at me and said "they're not history, they're POEMS." hmm I don't think he approves. grin I'll have to find him some proper reading material.

SummerRain Netherlands Thu 12-Sep-13 22:41:29

Zzzzz grin woohooo! It's finally over, bring on the healing!

Moose, omg. What a spectacular cock up shock I hope all parties get a rocket under their arses and sort this out once and for all.

I made a flour balloon for ds1 a while back but he was completely uninterested. Ds2 took possession of it and obsessed about the damn thing for a month until he lost it... I spent a month hovering waiting for it to burst all over the shop, can't tell you how relieved I was when it vanished!

PolterGoose Argentina Thu 12-Sep-13 22:43:46

We had a stress ball explosion too, I'd forgotten about it confused

Watch out with the balloon/flour ones, the latex degrades quite quickly...

Trigglesx Thu 12-Sep-13 22:48:19

zzzzz hope you're feeling better soon! Glad that things are looking up now.

Gosh, what a lot I've missed.

moose your poor DS! I can remember having kittens when my NT DS1 was accidentally left behind by the school coach at their swimming lesson, but he was already 11 and not particularly vulnerable. I shouted at the headmaster! blush

zzzzz great news at last. God luck with the healing process. X

I'm so tired! Job is fine, but very busy and I'm on my feet all day. No time to do any gentle housework or shopping without having the boys. (Job is 9-4 each school day.) I'm finding I've very little time to MN. sad I'll try to pop in on this thread each week, at least. X

SallyBear Fri 13-Sep-13 08:29:48

So it turns out that DD lied about speaking to the girl in question. Sigh.... Also lied about teachers making personal remarks; it was other students and a LSA. We are still having a meeting today, because she is obviously very conflicted about school and also feels extremely vulnerable. Kids.......hmm

PolterGoose Argentina Fri 13-Sep-13 09:53:47

Hope the meeting goes well Sally and you get the result you and dd need flowers

Galena Fri 13-Sep-13 10:09:10

Oh bless her, I bet she meant to and desperately wanted to but just couldn't. Good on her for thinking about it though. Hope the meeting goes well, sally.

SummerRain Netherlands Fri 13-Sep-13 10:18:40

Oh dear Sally, the poor thing probably just wanted to pretend it was all over. I hope the meeting goes well.

Had ds2 at the docs this am. Usual GPS both off so a locum who claims his chest is clear (now I could hear wheezing just by putting my ear to his chest and he's complaining of chest pain so I'm not convinced) but he has tonsillitis apparently hmm Now I've had tonsillitis many times and he doesn't show any signs of it at all, hasn't complained about his throat, no hoarse voice, he's not coughing up phlegm, he hasn't got a fever. I'm not convinced but he's on abs so hopefully they'll tackle whatever bug is affecting his chest. I'm going to bring him back once the regular docs are back if his chest is still bothering him though.

hazeyjane Fri 13-Sep-13 10:26:16

Oh, poor dd, Sallybear. Hope you get some results from the meeting - thinking of you and sending kick arse honks your way. (This is literally where you kick someone in the arse, causing them to honk - it is something I would like to do to many professionals)

Moose, i am stunned buy what is happening to your boy. You must be exhausted and furious,i hope you can sort something out for him.

Zzzzz - wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee - honks for a speedy recovery.

Flour boy didn't explode, but has left a bruise (I am one of those delicate flowers that bruise if someone breathes heavily near me though).

Have vowed not to have any of dd's friend's back for several months though.

moosemama Fri 13-Sep-13 10:44:32

Poor dd. I can totally understand why she lied about talking to the other girl and to some extent an LSA is like a teacher to kids. I know ds classes every adult in the school as teachers, excluding perhaps the dinner ladies. He certainly sees the LSAs as Teachers.

Semantics really though, they are adults who are there to support your dd and should bloody well know better. Frankly if they are that rude and insensitive they are in the wrong job.

Good luck with the meeting. I'll be keeping everything crossed you can make them understand how much they have let her down and what they should be doing to support her.

Our letter went to the LA by email last night, then we had to send an update this morning, because - as predicted his 'usual' hmm driver and escort are on the regular 'long-run' this afternoon (same as last Friday) so he will have a different driver and escort yet again. They failed to tell me this when I directly asked them last night, so dh confronted the escort this morning and she confessed that yes, they are on another job every Friday afternoon. angry

Dh emailed the LA officer again this morning, told her the above and pointed out that not only is ds, not traffic safe and highly vulnerable/trusting of strangers (as per his statement) due to them constantly chopping and changing drivers, if someone had driven up to him at the taxi stop last night and told him they'd been sent to pick him up he would have gone with them without a second thought. Both the school and the taxi firm put him at very real risk last night and it's totally unacceptable. angry

The thing is, without his LSA to actually hand him over to the escort, he could actually just get in any car that was waiting at his pick-up point. In fact, even with the LSA there that still has the potential to happen, as it's a different vehicle, driver and even escort nearly every pick-up, so unless she checks their credentials and paperwork every afternoon, how the hell does she know they're legit?

We were very lucky the older boy was with him, but even he waited almost half an hour on a busy A road before decided to go and tell a member of staff and what would have happened if he'd been off sick or something. I shudder to think. It actually makes me feel sick with worry when I think about him out there, completely unsupervised and vulnerable. I don't want to keep handing him over to these people every day - they are neither reliable nor trustworthy, but I have no choice, because I can't get him there. [Why don't we have a ridiculously stressed and terrified emoticon?]

moosemama Fri 13-Sep-13 10:52:23

Summer, could you take him to a walk-in centre for a second opinion?

Hazey, I am beyond exhausted, physically, mentally and emotionally and the anger keeps rising up in me and taking hold all over again every time I think about it all. I'm so jittery, I just can't settle. It's a horrible feeling and I feel so weak and impotent, as there's very little I can do to effect the necessary change, which makes it 100 times worse.

As usual the LA procedures for getting rid of the taxi firm are over-bureaucratic, long-winded and ridiculously, lengthy. So nothing is going to happen any time soon. Apparently they have to give the firm chance to sort things out and redeem themselves in the first instance, but we have proven this company is happy to bare faced lie and put vulnerable children at risk and that they've broken almost all the LA's Code of Conduct rules that their contract relies on - even right down to the blooming dress code! There's no way they are going to do anything about the situation. What they are going to do is come up with even bigger lies to try and cover their tracks. angry

claw2 Fri 13-Sep-13 10:58:05

Blimey Moose things are going from bad to worse, you have had a tough week.

Good luck Sally

I feel a bit deflated after indie SALT 'assessment' this week. Ds started at his new indie school and I was so pleased they were on the ball and ds had an indie SALT appointment. I was given her email and told to contact her for feedback. I thought brilliant, communication and more than happy to give feedback.

Her feedback was she carried out an informal assessment of ds (so they had a chat) and she cant see any difficulties and he has an advanced vocabulary, was the jest of it.

hmm she obviously hasn't read any of his reports or bothered to find out any of his difficulties and his vocab a few months ago was 'at the lower end of the scale' when formally assessed.

He has been out of school for a year with school related anxiety, due to confusion around the school environment and social interaction and self harms as a result (all written in reports)

So he has no difficulties because he can answer questions about what colour hair he has, talk about his interests etc and name his 6 brothers (he only has 2 brothers!)

Not the end of the world and hopefully nothing that cant be put right, just disappointed, as I had high expectations. Having more of a eye roll moment!

moosemama Fri 13-Sep-13 11:16:14

Claw, I'm thinking we are going to get the same response to ds's Indie School SALT assessment.

We got a letter home to ask if we gave permission for her to see him and a form to fill in detailing our concerns. I explained how Community SALT had discharged him without assessment because he has an advanced vocabulary and no functional speech problems, but that the OT at the ASD assessment unit felt he needed SALT input, as his vocab belies his lack of comprehension and he is too literal with phonic rules, so often mispronounces simple words - which has led to teasing and bullying in the past.

Haven't heard anything back yet, but I'm expecting the same as you, quick chat and 'oh he's fine'.

Sadly I think the only way to get any SALT help for ASD related comprehension and social language skills is to pay for it yourself and go private. hmm

claw2 Fri 13-Sep-13 11:43:23

Oh dear Moose, I despair I really do, all recommendations from EP and CAMHS etc and his statement is that 'his learning plan should be informed by SALT' and that ds 'requires continued access to SALT and involvement with IEP targets and planning meetings' and 'one to one support on structured programmes devised by SALT'

His statement is crap, I finalised to get him back to school and get indie school named. I was hoping they would be helpful in identifying/supporting his SAL difficulties. Even if his statement was quantified and specific, whats the point if SALT is going to continue with 'oh he is fine', im betting he would make amazing progress is a very short period of time, if she cannot even identify/understand the difficulties in the first place!

Ds cannot express himself, which is why he self harms and then cannot attend school, regardless of whether he his vocab is advanced or not (he uses some good words in context, doesn't know what they actually mean though!). I was hoping this would be seen as a big difficult and barrier to his education. Not some 'oh he is fine'!

SummerRain Netherlands Fri 13-Sep-13 14:13:10

Moose, our ooh doctor system isn't convenient or particularly useful and I can't use a different gp as our medical card is registered to this practice. He's still complaining of his chest being sore and says his throat isn't so I really don't believe it's tonsillitis.

Claw, he sounds like my ds1. Amazing vocab and language skills but when it comes to expressing his emotions, using imagination or having a reciprocal conversation he struggles. The CAMHS SALT recommended he didn't need CAMHS at all and should be discharged based on his salt assessment hmm Luckily his psyche disagreed!

bigbluebus Fri 13-Sep-13 14:29:30

Oh moose so sorry you are still having issues with school transport. What happened yesterday is inexcusable both on the part of the school and the taxi firm. I hope the LA manage to sort it out quickly.
I am so glad DD is on a LA bus - at least then the staff are definitely all CRB checked and have had training.

moosemama Fri 13-Sep-13 15:53:01

Claw, I know exactly what you mean. The single biggest problem, other than the fairly predictable teething troubles, we've had with the new school is their failure to recognise how little ds understands and that, just because he uses big words and sounds like he knows what he's talking about doesn't mean he has a) understood a word you've said or b) actually understand the implications of what he's said and that's without getting into the fact that he can parrot back to you what you just said word-for-word and still not know what you've said or what it means. I really hoped this school would see past his overall impression and having read his statement (which isn't at all bad) and accompanying reports, actually taken his barriers and limitations into consideration.

In ds's case the fact that we've spent the past 4 years working really hard, along with EP and Inclusion to teach him how to express his emotions better also seems to have confused them. Not that he has actually managed to express an emotion, opinion or idea there yet, as he doesn't feel safe enough. (He saves it all for me! wink) In my experience it will be a good year or so before he starts to trust them enough to open up - and then only if they support him properly and give him a reason to trust them.

It's still a great school, million times better than sending him to a local ms academy and most importantly - he likes it. They are lovely to all the pupils and give each child time and space and the chance to move forwards at their own pace, rather than steamrollering them, but it seems I had unrealistic hopes/expectations based on their constant reassurances at transition meetings that everything we was saying about ds's anxiety/emotional awareness and social skills was commonplace at the school and something they are experienced in handling. sad

Trying really hard not to judge to harshly and give them a chance before I give up hope though and things have had improved as the result of one phonecall to the SENCO (I put had, because things had improved until they let him off school premises unsupervised last night. angry)

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