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I thought I'd got past this stage...

(15 Posts)

For the first day back at school, I walked with my Y6 daughter just to see everyone and meet the new teacher etc..
I took my son who has DS. I know I've made the right decision for him to stay at his excellent pre school for one more year and then (hopefully) join his peers in Reception.
But the sight and sound of his peers running into school, chattering away to their parents and friends was like a kick in the stomach. I looked bright and breezy but came home and wept for all we need to do this year to secure him a place, organize assessments and just the pain of having a child who is hardly verbal and developmentally behind by a couple of years.
I know I need to pull myself together and just get on, feels a bit indulgent writing it down even, but I know people here recognize that feeling.

Hugs for us all x

PolterGoose Argentina Thu 05-Sep-13 10:45:27

(((hugs))) for you

We all have 'things' that trigger those feelings, bizarrely mine is seeing pre-schoolers running, scooting and staying on the pavement while I still have to hold my 10yo ds's hand.

SummerRain Netherlands Thu 05-Sep-13 10:51:58

I don't think it ever gets easier seeing our children with their peers and being confronted with the massive differences between them.

When ds2 was none verbal I sobbed once after a friend had been to visit. Her 3 month old was babbling more than my 2 year old and it physically hurt me to see that massive gap.

Let yourself feel bad, have a cuppa and a bit of a cry. Then pick yourself up and keep being the wonderful mother you are, doing what's right for your child and his abilities.

{hug}

Thank you both, feeling a bit less fragile now, we've had our elevenses together and had a lovely snuggly sit down together. I need to refocus on getting my boy as ready for school as I can this year. He's such a gorgeous soul but I worry about him in wider settings, I know we all do xx

Get on with the practical stuff...chasing SA and relevant appointments...

Thanks x

autumnsmum Thu 05-Sep-13 14:19:38

I know the feeling you describe well my dd2 is starting ss nursery on Monday am so relieved I won't have to see other parents picking up school place application brochures etc

MovingForward0719 Thu 05-Sep-13 14:46:09

Going in to collect my older DS from school with younger DS in tow on days I had to keep him home for school trips and seeing all his classmates coming out to tell their parents about the trip and the looks of curiosity in my direction from the parents having clocked he hadn't been. He has started ss this week and I am thanking my lucky stars I don't have to go through that shite again (and he will be going on all trips from now on).

But, you have done the right thing. Wish I had been more on the ball when my DS was 4.

Thank you for these two stories too...there's a lot of us in the same boat! It helps to know other people have similar experiences. It's quite hard to articulate really, I absolutely love him to bits, it's me I have pangs of loss for...I used to have a slightly more straight forward life.

My other children; filled in school application and went to school and thrived, easy peasy. I didn't appreciate how uncomplicated it all was!!

I know it's all doable, it's such an effort sometimes!

MovingForward0719 Fri 06-Sep-13 12:22:47

Tell me about it. My older DS starting school was the non event of the century. I dropped him off first day, he settled and here we are five years later. If only I had known ..... (thank god I didn't!)

Bluebirdonmyshoulder Fri 06-Sep-13 13:38:39

I'm not at your stage yet but I've been going through similar lately, just seeing how different bluechick is to other babies her age. Ironically she's actually making some great progress at the moment.

It's not easy and it's not fair. Be kind to yourself.

Levantine Fri 06-Sep-13 17:54:12

sad It is very hard isn't it. I am realising my NT 2 year old is more competent in many ways than my asd/ADHD 6 year old and that soon he will overtake him in some things.

Levantine Fri 06-Sep-13 17:54:52

Sorry that didn't make much sense, I meant soon it will be very noticeable I suppose. Anyway, I hear you xx

Pixel Thu 26-Sep-13 20:30:54

You think you've got past it then little things catch you out. I still remember how I felt when dd (NT) left primary school. I used to enjoy chatting at the school gate, the other mums were a lovely bunch and we got on fine, not in a nights out and going to each other's houses way, but we did take dcs to the park together etc. Anyway it was a bit emotional the kids all going to secondary (not babies anymore!) but all of them had younger siblings joining the infants, so there was a lot of "ok, see you next term". Then it hit me like a sledgehammer that it didn't include me because my ds was going to a special school miles away. It honestly hadn't occured to me until that moment how completely different my life was going to be as the other mums had known ds since he was a baby so he was just accepted iyswim.

letsleepingcatslie Fri 27-Sep-13 07:50:53

Nowhere near in the same league, but DD (4) has suspects ASD and it upsets me when I see other children her age and much running of together to play on the soft play, etc., and she won't go in because it's too noisy and distressing for her. Just something as simple as that which other parents take for granted.

cake for you, OP. smile

letsleepingcatslie Fri 27-Sep-13 07:51:12

*much younger

MariaBoredOfLurking Fri 27-Sep-13 22:00:13

sad

This might help a bit

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