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Group Honk/Hug Friday Thread. I Love Us!!

(56 Posts)
hazeyjane Fri 15-Feb-13 15:00:20

Hope it is ok to start the Friday thread this week. After 2 bruising AIBU threads today, I thought it would be nice to start a sn love in (it is Valentines week after all!)

Pull up a beanbag, and grab some caring carrot juice (wine later)

Ds had a 24 hour ECG this week, and another visit to chest dr, lungs still very noisy, he is knackered poor boy. I have been going gluten free baking crazy, having done gf pancakes, mini victoria sponges and chocolate biscuits (or puddles as they could be more accurately described).

Hope everyone has had good weeks.

PolterGoose Fri 15-Feb-13 15:28:01

(((((group hug)))))

Poor mini-hazey, hope things improve soon.

We are on half term and ds remains anxious and fully wound. In a way I wish he'd just have a full on meltdown and get it all out, instead we just get frequent mini-meltdowns IYSWIM? Spent all day Wednesday and beyond bedtime preparing for a trip on Thursday to one of his favourite places, got there Thursday, to find they weren't opening for over an hour angry cue much swearing (from ds, not me! 'fuckus cuntus' being the favourite right now) and demands to go home, running away, eventually persuaded him to return to car and have a snack, went back and then after an hour he had had enough. Notice of change in times was teeny on website and I hadn't seen it.

Bluebirdonmyshoulder Fri 15-Feb-13 15:34:15

I feel rather bruised today after that AIBU thread.

Joining in the group hug with an extra squeeze for mini-hazey and Poltergosling! And I love the sound of anyone who can turn the f word and the c word into Latin!!

TaggieCampbellBlack Fri 15-Feb-13 15:44:05

Morning/Aftetnoon/Evening. I'm just finushed with a week of nights so not sure which end of the day I'm at.

I am very much enjoyjng Fuckus Cuntus. Might need to borrow it grin

hazeyjane Fri 15-Feb-13 15:45:28

I think swearing in Latin, on some of those threads might be the way to go.

<squeeze> to you Bluebird, some days it is definitely best to keep away from AIBU, I'm still not sure why you were deleted. You said you were having a bad day, hope you have a better weekend.

Polter, Fuckus Cuntus did make me laugh, but I can imagine after the xxxth time it probably wears thin! I have found the constant screaming from ds very wearing this week. We have had guests all week, so I have noticed it more, he is justs miserable so much of the time at the moment. I am supposed to be filling in a chart of when he head bangs and hits himself for the learning disability nurses, not only is it depressing, but I have also had to go out and photocopy another 4 charts!!

MummytoMog Fri 15-Feb-13 15:48:11

Big hugs for everybody who's feeling a bit bruised - AIBU can be horrid sometimes and ECG's are no fun.

We have had a good week this week, even with the shitey audiologist. Wednesday night, I took DD up to bed. After ten minutes she had a little cry, so I went up and asked 'what's the matter darling' and she said 'DD want drink'. YES!!!!! This may not sound like a big deal. It is. Normally I would just have to guess and try everything to see what the matter was, for DD to tell me what she wanted instead of taking me to it, or crying, or shrieking 'what de matter, what de matter, DD cryin' is just unbelievably brilliant. Making the connection between telling me what the problem is and me fixing it for her is something we've been working on for so long and it feels like she's finally getting it smile

And DS used the potty. mini-rah.

PolterGoose Fri 15-Feb-13 15:58:33

I do feel a bit of a coward for not posting on the AIBU thread, it is just so wearing, and the disablist comments feel like personal attacks. It is impossible not to get angry and upset at what comes across as ignorance and plain cruelty at times.

Am so glad ds's creative swearing has amused you all grin it is better than being hit, but I did feel like an AIBU thread in the making yesterday.

hazey it is when we have guests (which is rare) that I realise how dysfunctional our life must look, so much we do without thinking is completely outside the experience of the majority of people, and my ds 'just' has Aspergers.

PolterGoose Fri 15-Feb-13 16:01:03

MummytoMog great news for both your ds and dd, whatever you are doing is working, so feel free to bask in the glory of a job well done, and very well done to the moglings smile

Bluebirdonmyshoulder Fri 15-Feb-13 16:04:59

I have an explanation now hazey. I don't agree but at least now I know how to phrase things in future.

And I think I'll just hide AIBU.

Anyway, nearly wine o'clock. Honks to all.

Ineedmorepatience Fri 15-Feb-13 16:08:44

What do I keep telling you lot about AIBU!!

I have only read a tiny bit of it cos have had a manic day.

We have broken up today and were really ready for it, we are all done in.

Dd3 has had a tricky week at school with staff illness upsetting her routines, which is unavoidable sometimes but no less challenging.

I am definitely in need of some caring carrot juice and a bean bag grin

zzzzz Fri 15-Feb-13 16:27:29

Hi all. I should be in the car collecting everyone. Our half term starts today, nd not a moment too soon. No less than 3 out of five being picked on at school this week. Dh is like an unexploded bomb, threatening to pulverise half the primary school. grin. I do love him, he is so marvelously bias and un PC.

We have been doing CELF test with local SALT this week but it is hard work. Ds can only do about 25 mins of mindless questions befor he resolves an it seems endless. Not sure how reliable results will be.

SALT has given me some bonza resources though, and lots to think about so tiring but useful.

5 days in the last 10 with hospital/meetings I am shattered.

I didn't ind the AIBU too bad though not uplifting. I think more an more people get it if you read the responses. Still a few arses but there always are.

polt sounds like the trip from hell. Poor you.

mummytomog wow! That is fantastic news. grin YAY!

zzzzz Fri 15-Feb-13 16:28:46

Resolves = dissolves

ouryve Fri 15-Feb-13 16:45:16

Awww. Hugs for mini-hazey.

It's been DS2's turn for the snot monsters, this week. Had him off school for a couple of days, which meant having to struggle through drifting snow with his buggy to collect DS1 on Wednesday. Most kids in DS1's class can walk home alone and it's times like this that it hits me how different our lives are to those of parents of typical kids.

DS1's 1st day back after his time off involved and incident at school, resulting in another spectacular meltdown with a retreat into his fantasy world in which he did nothing wrong. The rest of the week has been so much better, though, spurred on by him looking forward to going to stay with my parents, alone, this weekend. The Ed Psych did the first of a series of assessments on him, today. We've definitely not been imagining his maths ability - not sure what test she ran, but he came out as age 14-21. Hopefully, he'll cooperate with the cognitive tests when she does them and that will give us evidence which will help us convince the LA that their standard offerings cannot cater for him, academically.

NoHaudinMaWheest Fri 15-Feb-13 16:48:57

Polter sorry the trip went badly. Waiting is something Ds still doesn't do well. We get about 20 seconds before 'I'm bored, entertain me' kicks in.
Hazey and zzzzz sounds like gruelling weeks for both of you.
Mummy to Mog well done on the progress!
I lurk in AIBU sometimes but have promised myself I will never post so though I am sometimes tempted. I can't abide people spouting ignorant rubbish as if it was fact so was sorely tempted today.
Bit of a rough week here too. I have been pretty unwell with ME symptoms and Ds has got more than usually stuck in his OCD rituals. Really late for school one day and missed today altogether.
(((((hugs))))) to all feels like we all need it.

PolterGoose Fri 15-Feb-13 16:54:25

Big HONKS forzzzzz and NoHaudin and ouryve sounds like a few of us having tough times sad

I just want to do some knitting and DIY grin

FrustratedSycamoresRocks Fri 15-Feb-13 16:58:18

I actually spoke to our S&LT today! And dd put herself to bed yesterday! which is virtually unheard of, in the realms of chin still on floor

ouryve Fri 15-Feb-13 16:58:33

I didn't manage any knitting today, Polter! My first child-free day in 3 weeks when I didn't either have the raging snots of my own or a sore neck, so I prioritised dyeing my hair, in between cleaning up the carnage from DS2 being home grin

Well I'm only coming in if I can have wine.......

Honks to those who need them. I have had a mixed week and feel a little stressed, but OK...

Difficult: Have been doing my parental response to lEA's proposed statement, which I worked hard on and which ended up running to 11 pages.
DS's headbanging, which had seemingly totally disappeared last week, is back a little bit.

Good (I think): DS went to see ENT surgeon and have hearing test (which he co-operated with for the first time ever). Turns out his grommets have fallen out and his ears are full of wax, so here's hoping that new grommets (will go in on 11 March) will improve his vocalisations and sound imitations...

Wine o'clock coming fast (I have to drive home from work first though!)

zzzzz Fri 15-Feb-13 17:05:55

wine there y'go

FrustratedSycamoresRocks Fri 15-Feb-13 17:20:17

wine from me starlight
I also bring space hoppers to sit on as I'm having a huge preganant day and I'll never get off a beanbag. however it might amuse you all, it's like the turtle kitkat advert
I missed the aibu threads. too busy at work YouTube-ing fainting goats Which is probably a good thing as it would only have made me angry.
I have had a week of being passed from pillar to post with people trying to get certain things moving. And a few snotty emails as phonecalls and fx things are now moving. Just have to keep them moving in the right direction.

silverfrog Fri 15-Feb-13 17:24:02

It has been a hideous week in the silverfrog household.

the dc have all been fine, but dh and I have been really quite ill - proper flu style. We've barely been able to get up all week - thankfully our body clocks do not coincide at all, and so I've been muddling through the mornings, then fading and retiring to bed from lunchtime when dh has got up to muddle through the afternoons/bedtime. proper horrible lurgy though, but we seem to be coming out the other side now.

it's dd2's birthday tomorrow, so I am once more on baking duty. having hunted out and trialled (successfully!) a gluten/dairy free strawberry shortcake recipe, she has now decided she doesn't want that for her birthday cake after all <sigh>

instead, she conned me, in a moment of illness weakness into buying her a Hello Kitty cake mould. the fecking thing has arrived, is enormous, and I have no idea what quantities will fill it/how long to bake for. with no room for error since we need the cake tomorrow <double sigh> and she has some very set ideas on how it should be decorated... tbh, what with this and her party planning/controlling, there is little doubt left at all that she is somewhere on the spectrum - her need for everything just so is spiralling out of control a little. ho hum.



LimboLil Fri 15-Feb-13 17:35:15

Hi everyone, sorry to hear some of you have had a bad week. Been strange here. In a kind of post diagnosis haze, some of you will have read my threads on this. Found it a bit full on. My (newly diagnosed) 5 year old was home today with a cold, so I just had to pick up his brother from school today whilst my mum looked after him. Really hit me standing in the school playground how isolated I have become. Because I had time to take things in today and look around at how normal everything is for most people (bit of a generalisation I know). I also had a bit of a sad moment imagining what things would be like if my youngest was 'normal' and visualised the school run if this was the case and how we would be planning our weekend and half term. Have done this quite a bit lately. It's not that we have a horrible time, we really don't, but there's so much I would do with the both of them together and I know my older child is missing out even if he doesn't. Sorry this is rambly. I think there is a bit of a fall out occurring from everything that has happened over the last few months and really the last few years. I will snap out of it I'm sure! Really looking forward to having time out from the school routine next week :-)

TaggieCampbellBlack Fri 15-Feb-13 17:35:49


Buckets of wine

Happy Birthday to Silver Tadpole.

DDs off to a 'sleep' over. So she's being a bit tense and I'm just staying very quiet snd not engaging.

Have brought along some decent red wine for you all.

Sends Silverfrog wine and flowers.

Have seen others verbally bashed on AIBU so avoid that section more often than not. Think MN need to actually now start moderating that particular part of the site with a moderator like they do on some of Femail and other sites. Another option that I cannot see them doing either is to remove that part of the site altogether (like the Guardian did with the GUT talk threads much to many people's dismay. I did enjoy their X Factor threads).

Inset today so we receive six days of half term rather than five.

EllenJaneisstillnotmyname Fri 15-Feb-13 17:37:33

Too many responses to catch up with.

Hope you all enjoy a week's break from school. It always seemed a double edged sword to me, nice not to have to rush anywhere, but the guilt that we never seem to do much fun stuff, and the fact I love it when they go back to school. blush Anyway, 'tis all over bar the shouting here. Back to school Mon and Tues.

I'm off out to a 50th birthday party later. How did we I get so old? Boys are with dick, so I've been crocheting for little hugs. (That really makes me sound old!)

LimboLil Fri 15-Feb-13 17:38:16

ps oh I did read that thread too and my heart sank. How depressing to think that's how we are perceived but I'm guessing maybe people I know think that about us now that our circumstances have changed.

silverfrog Fri 15-Feb-13 17:41:02

thanks for the wine

on the upside - I lost 5lb this week grin. nicely in time to eat cake all weekend <in the interests of regaining strength, naturally grin>

agree something should be done re: AIBU. It's not good enough, really, to say 'this is an area where robust opinions are voiced'. The whole tone of the place is nasty, on the whole.

here's to a relaxing weekend if dd2 makes it that far it will be a miracle. no I do not want to disucss the exact sequence of colour stripes which will make up Hello Kittys dress yet again

PolterGoose Fri 15-Feb-13 17:44:37

Good luck with the cake silverfrog and happy birthday to the froglet.

silverfrog Fri 15-Feb-13 17:46:23

thanks, Polter. she is beyond excited <weary sigh>

am planning to delegate cake making to dh grin

Bluebirdonmyshoulder Fri 15-Feb-13 17:51:18

Interesting views on AIBU. I'm coming round to the view that every single post should stand so that everyone can see who has posted what. Make people live with what they've posted and then everyone else can see their history and ten at least we'll know who holds unpalatable views.

signandsmile Fri 15-Feb-13 18:13:21

Hi all, sorry to hear about crappy weeks, it has been quiet here chez sign... we were supposed to be going to see nanny and other stuff, but ds had reached blergh point (combination of explosion and deflation point IYSWIM) so we cancelled everything and hibernated for the week. He now has his equalibrium back, and has actually been doing some craft things, only 5 mins, but thats huge for him grin

bit sad that half term had to be a right off in order to get his head back and now we will be back to school, but I know you ladies get how that is.

and 'tum tiddy tum tum tum TUM!!!' I have arranged the next SW meet up, so this time next week I will have met a few more of you in the flesh as it were... altho that does sound like a naturist meet up.... blush

anyway I am doing the 5 and 2 diet so I will just envy all of you with the wine and chocs envy

EllenJaneisstillnotmyname Fri 15-Feb-13 18:59:34

I love the 5 and 2 diet! I sort of did the 2 and 5 diet unintentionally, when dickhead left, but found I can easily maintain the drastic weight loss on 5 and 2.

moosemama Fri 15-Feb-13 20:03:14


I am too tired to post really, but thought I'd put my head round the door.

I have updated both my threads, but am too tired to type it all again.

Hugs and wine to those that need it, I know I do.

kinkyfuckery Fri 15-Feb-13 21:31:21

I've missed AIBU, not been on today.

We've had a bit of a blah week. DD's not actually been too bad at all, a little out of sorts as came home from school early yesterday ill and tired, but mostly been sitting on the sofa watching telly, which is a miracle in itself.

DD had her 'end of assessment' appointment at CAMHS this week, and was given a diagnosis of combined ADHD. We are waiting to be referred to the nurses for titration of Methylphenidate, hopefully starting in the next few weeks. I'm a bit meh about it, but her behaviour is having a huge effect on the whole family, so feel it balances out as being worth a trial to see how it goes.
Also, they are referring us to ADOS for ASD assessment. Not sure how I feel about that. It had been mentioned a few weeks back and they'd said they would try medication for six months, then review the ASD symptoms. I'm glad I'm not having to fight them for referral, but a bit scared that they've done it anyway without wanting to wait and see :/

ouryve Fri 15-Feb-13 21:48:11

LimboLil - I've been doing this for 6.5 years, now and it still hits me like a breezeblock, sometimes (like when I'm struggling through snow with the buggy because I can't let DS1 walk home alone, like his peers, as I mentioned upthread)[hugs]

ouryve Fri 15-Feb-13 21:49:43

5.5! Maths fail. Though that's just since diagnosis.

lougle Fri 15-Feb-13 21:58:28

I'm here. Just. DD1 has had a very hard afternoon. She came home in a foul mood from school because her 3 of her boy friends did 'choosing' and chose the IPad (her latest best activity) and her one girl friend did 'light and sound room'. She wouldn't tell me what she 'chose' - she just said 'NOTHING!!!!'

She was in a terrible rage because she 'didn't do ANY writing ALL DAY'. I think the fact that she can't write is starting to get beyond frustrating for her. She 'writes' me huge letters - scrawls across the page of squiggly lines. Then she 'reads' them to me.

They're starting to use the IPad at school with her, to give her a way recording her thoughts, etc. Looks like we need to get one here too, somehow.

Lougle, woukd cereba help with a grant?

lougle Fri 15-Feb-13 22:10:00

Cerebra are twitchy about computers/IPads, don't know why. They only do them in 'exceptional circumstances' and insist on a reference from the teacher explaining why it's essential and what is being done at school to warrant it at home, etc. Which the teacher is more than happy to do (she suggested it), but tbh, Family Fund is easier, because we meet the criteria and it's on their list of things they supply.

blackeyedsusan Fri 15-Feb-13 23:15:30

ha. I came over here to hide from aibu... sseems to have been hidden far too well! hmm

envy feeling a bit queasy. too many maltesers due to a missed email and I have set off a chain of events to find out whether i am deluded about dd. If i am I will be only half deluded as ds proved to have asd.

ouryve Fri 15-Feb-13 23:48:16

lougle - Cerebra are giving grants which will pay for 80% of an iPad.

ouryve Fri 15-Feb-13 23:51:08

Just to add, they've recently (very recently) tightened up the references to one educational and one medical, but the income cut off is much higher than family fund. We would qualify for one for DS2 if we could gather the references and we wouldn't qualify for family fund.

And the information I got before Christmas from someone working for Cerebra is that they've been given some funding specifically for this sort of thing, recently.

LimboLil Sat 16-Feb-13 08:00:45

Ouryve thanks, yes I read your thread. I know I'm not the only person that does this. My friend's dd has cp and she has dreams that she is up and about playing, and then wakes upon:-( v sad. In many ways I'm lucky, we have an older NT son and we manage things okay so he gets out and stuff, but even when I am doing something with him, there's a sadness that we are not all doing it.

ouryve Sat 16-Feb-13 08:30:16

I have dreams that DS2 is having a perfectly clear conversation with me. Even one of his teachers had the same dream, a while back and she said it left her feeling quite out of sorts, the next day.

lougle Sat 16-Feb-13 10:56:33

That's interesting, Ouryve, their website still says:

"4. Can I apply for an iPad?
We treat applications for iPads the same as we would one for a computer and will only fund iPads in very special circumstances. Your child must already be using an iPad in school as a communication aid."

DD1 isn't using it as a 'communication aid' in that she is verbal, she just can't record her thoughts permanently in the mode of writing yet, so they are starting to introduce the Ipad in that sense.

I think recording thoughts can be considered a communication aid tbh. Writing is communication.

lougle Sat 16-Feb-13 11:08:55

Yes, I know...but I'm not sure they intend it to be read as that, and she isn't using the IPad every day, etc. Family fund don't have this restriction.

zzzzz Sat 16-Feb-13 11:50:45

lougle what about an old fashioned moveable alphabet.

Ds does really well with these but you can just print out letters on cards for the same effect. Have cards for high frequency words and topic relevant vocab as well and if you are getting fancy, Velcro lines on a board.

Might be a low tech interim answer, till the iPad can be managed.

I think iPad has been fantastic for ds and couldn't recommend it enough, so worth manoeuvring for IMO.

lougle Sat 16-Feb-13 12:10:31

Oh, sorry, I think I've given the impression she can 'write' on an iPad! She can read 21 words using whole word recognition and she can write 'mum' and 'Millie' by hand independently, with a few other words with a model or hand over hand. No where near spelling yet, although keen and she often says 'E-R-S.....spaceship' so she understands that words are made of letters.

They have been using the IPad to let her take photos and use a story board type app to make up a story.

zzzzz Sat 16-Feb-13 12:19:41

I'd do this then (again make your own not buy),

We jumped on letters on huge floor alphabet. So objects in box, stick your hand in, choose, leap from letter to letter to spell.

This is really great for early writing/reading

I wish I could work out how to put photos on my profile, I would love to share some of the activities we do, and create a resource file. There are so many of us pooling our ideas would be awesome.

zzzzz Sat 16-Feb-13 12:21:21

I'd do this then (again make your own not buy),

We jumped on letters on huge floor alphabet. So objects in box, stick your hand in, choose, leap from letter to letter to spell.

This is really great for early writing/reading

I wish I could work out how to put photos on my profile, I would love to share some of the activities we do, and create a resource file. There are so many of us pooling our ideas would be awesome.

lougle Sat 16-Feb-13 12:54:21

Fab, thank you!

Ilisten2theradio Sat 16-Feb-13 15:47:21

I haven't been around for a few days so the AIBU has totally passed me by.
I must admit I retreat from those sort of threads, I don't find I have the energy to deal with ignorant and predudiced people these days.

I am sorry to hear that so many of you have had difficult weeks.
Yesterday DS invited 2 new friends (from new school) back and DD had a friend who had moved away over for a sleepover before the birthday party today so it was all go in this household. No chance of the radio being heard!
Actually it has been a quiet week for me until the madness of yesterday. I am holding my breath wondering why it has all been so smooth in fact.

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