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Friday Night Thread(69 Posts)
Got an absolute pasting on AIBU.
Got an independent expert in to see ds who confirmed he is in the right placement (after a year of him being there). Not perfect and room for improvement, but generally a good place full of kind, caring and keen staff who are open and non-defensive.
DS had a grommet operation on Monday, DD finally got her ENT appointment through for in a couple of weeks after I called and queried if they really meant April.
DH came home early with a sickness bug.
Yay! Friday, absolute dog of a week here.
Feeling totally restless and have a terrible urge to sell up and hippy round the world. 3 out of 4 children hating school. Grim.
Surely it is supposed to be more fun than this.
Ds is very rambled echolalic this week which always worries me. SALT are seeing us next week so it will be interesting to see what she thinks.
Star I am sure we have told you before.... stay away from AIBU, its a baaad place
Dd3 has been developing the art of Dramaqueenitis this week she has tried everything to have a pyjama day, unfortunately for her I was too busy at work to let her get away with it.
Hope everyone else has survived the week and has a good weekend
Oh, thank god. I told myself that when someone else posted, I could open the wine......
Sorry you've had a bad week. May well follow you round the world if you do it. Things are good atm, but honestly, there's room for improvement and a LOT really.
Good for me, means not fighting anyone, which would have been so had I not started an AIBU thread
Evening Star, I seem to be stalking you on MNSN this afternoon/evening. I'm not honest.
Sorry about the pasting. Did you start an AIBU thread or post on someone else's?
Reassuring for you to have it confirmed that ds is in the right place. Have to admit from your description of it, it sounds like heaven compared to my dc's school.
Hope ds is recoving ok from his op. Is dd having similar problems?
They boys told me a sickness bug is doing the rounds of our school as well. Apparently three children in ds1's class were sent home before 10.00 am this morning after vomiting in the classroom and both dd's nursery teacher and her daughter, who dd has played with every day this week were off today after vomiting last night. We don't stand a chance do we? <sigh>
Not much news in the Moose household, usual problems with ds1 and school, but luckily his old teacher got involved and is dealing with it.
Ds2 has been a lot of pain with his joints, waking in the night screaming in pain either from joints locking or subluxing or severe cramp. His shoulder dislocated for the first time in the middle of the night last night and he was so distressed it was heartbreaking.
I continue to have the flakiest health on the planet, having had severe anaemia for a couple of weeks and been pretty much welded to the sofa as a result. Also continuing to have lots of frankly bizarre neuro symptoms and still haven't heard anything from my neuro following on from my EEG on 31st December and MRI on 15th Jan.
Can't be bothered to chase, I have enough going on, without more hospital appoitments to contend with.
Other than that, still waiting with baited breath to find out whether or not ds1 gets the indie placement we want. Deadline for naming is next Friday and I'm getting twitchy because they did say that if he got it, we might get a call from the school transport bods before the deadline, so we'd know in advance anyway. I can't stand all this waiting and not knowing whether or not we are facing a tribunal appeal to get him into the right placement.
Not surprising really, when I type 10 words for everyone else's two.
zzzz, I hear you. Dh and I have been getting restless as well. We dream of just packing everyone up and going - as far away from SENCOs and LEAs and statementing and admissions as we can get.
Ineed, loving the description of Dramaqueenitis - I think my dd may already have it. She is such a ..... four year old girl at the moment. The whingeing, the nagging the constant tears and dramatics - and I foolishly thought that having an NT child would be easier. I honestly think I just don't know how to do NT children.
I started the thread. It seems I have a number of MN anti-fans, who admitted they were being nasty because they didn't like something I once said in the past, and then started to search for old posts and link to them in order to 'prove' that I was evil. They also interpreted and misquoted other things from the same thread. It was all quite nasty actually.
It began with general posts about me not having respect for caring carrots.
Teach me to have any faith in main board users having a clue.
Oooh, Moose I didn't know your dd was 4 as well. What an
hellish interesting age!
How does the appeal stuff work then Moose? Are you expecting new statement by 14th Feb?
Ah, Friday, 15th. They have your preference in writing?
Bastards though. They're hardly going to be making the decision on Thurs evening are they?
Hi all. Wow what a week for us too. DS got dx of ASD and a few other bits n bobs. Lovely paediatrician, of course we are now discharged which I knew would happen. She looked relieved that we didn't kick off about that but know enough peeps to know the score. Statutory assessment is under way. Just going to let it all sink in for a bit. After half term need to think about whether we stay in MS or go for special or unit. I really don't know, think we will have to do visits and a pros and cons list. Any advice on this appreciated. I will probably be starting several threads over the next few weeks now that dx is in place. Been a rollercoaster time, I have had to put recent bereavement to one side as I knew this bit was coming and had to be able to deal with it. I've shocked myself a bit last 3 months with my coping mechanism, talk about compartmentalising your emotions!! Now that both the biggies have happened just need to take stock a bit and then onto the rest of our life really. Big hugs to all who have had a bad week.
Omg, they admitted they were deliberately being antagonistic because of something you said in the past! I hope MN deleted them, because there's no way they could claim that doesn't constitute deliberate bullying.
Ah yes - she's 4 alright. I seem to be spending a lot of time explaining to ds1 - who is rather confused about where his lovely baby sister has gone - that she isn't inherently bad or naughty - she's just 4! Yesterday he stood there, looked very concerned and said "Mummy, I don't think I like 4 year old girls very much."
Mind you he may have a point, dd has decided she loves letters - which one would think might be a good thing - until she tries to spell out the word 'bug'. We did 'd-o-g' = dog fine, we did 'b-a-g' = bag - all still ok, then we did 'b-u-g' = bugger! Of course in my current sleep deprived state I totally failed to handle it properly and just say it again properly - oh no - instead I made the mistake of saying, "no dd, it's not bugger, it's bug". "B-U-G = BUGGER" says dd - "no dd, not bugger - bug - bugger isn't a nice word, please don't say it" - doh! I knew as soon as it came out of my mouth what I'd done - but it was too late. At least she hasn't said it outside the house .... yet!
Nope, they have to name a school on the amended statement by 15 Feb. So, in reality what that means is that they will type it on Friday afternoon, then post it on their slowest, untrackable postal service and we might get it, if we are lucky and the wind is in the right direction, about 7-10 days later.
If they have named any of the schools in our area it will mean a tribunal, as if the local school can't take him, none of the other schools can either, as they are all large secondary academies with pretty much the same set ups.
Yes, they have our preference in writing. We initially named the local Academy of course, so have had to contact them to change it. We were temporarily buoyed when our officer told us they had sent the paperwork to the indie to ask if they would take him if the LEA name them and then we received a letter asking us to confirm in writing we want the indie to be our first choice. (We'd already done it of course. ) Not sure what it all means really and scared to speculate.
The inclusion team, who the LEA officer told us have the most sway re appropriate secondary placement, want him in the indie and have successfully got kids in there over the last couple of years. So that's something - but who knows.
I honestly think I will have gone mad by the time we find out.
Hope you are ok star?
Shitty week here, not dc, but just generally.
Awful church council meeting - am not standing for nomination again.
Awful b of gov meeting - had to agree to something because it was the right thing to do, but I am still sad and upset about it.
Mum is having her op -finally!- on Monday but she is getting older and it's a big op
New conservatory roof on - sort of - they broke one of the glass panels so not going to be done now til Tuesday <stares at tip of a house>
And to top it all this morning I have awoken with swollen glans, sore throat, and thrush just in time for half term.
Fighting, what a week indeed. How do you feel about the dx?
You do right to give yourself some breathing space and time to let it sink in. Dx is always a difficult pill to swallow, even if you are expecting it.
So sorry to hear you've had a bereavement to cope with as well on top of everything else.
Hope you manage to get some time to take stock and take care of yourself and just 'be' for a while.
Good luck to your mum for Monday.
Is it half term for you next week?
Yes, dc broke up today.
Thanks for good wishes.
It's a big op
Ooh, shall I go searching for your fred, Star?
Crossing fingers for you, moose. I take it 15th Feb is just before half term?
Hope your mum's op goes well, Badvoc.
Fighting, I'd expect a bit of a down time now your adrenalin has run out. (((hugs)))
Waves at zzzzz and Ineed.
I've had a rather stressful week, mostly to do with exH, rather than any SN issues. ExH is taking the boys to Disney in Florida this summer (Disney dad!) and asked me when would be good time. I replied, avoid the first week of the holiday as DS1 is 1st reserve on a Geog field trip to Iceland, and if he doesn't get on the trip he'll go to France with his best friend. Any other time, so long as I get a clear 10 days for a holiday with the boys. So, he books accommodation for the Friday at the end of the first week.
TBF, I don't think he did it on purpose, he's just a prat. Now DS1 definitely can't go to France, and the Iceland trip returns on the Thursday evening...
Disney has never appealed to me, so I'm glad they can go without me having to pay for it, but I can't help feeling a bit jealous. Not sure how DS2 will cope, with Florida heat in July and the queues.
I've also had to pay off the mortgage because the Halifax wouldn't give me a mortgage in my own name, so I had to cash in my small endowment policy early.
DS2's school have been on the phone as he's getting more and more reluctant to do any work. I think his TAs started the year underestimating his ability and doing a lot of scribing for him, so now they realise he can write for himself, he's unsurprisingly not keen. Also trying to get them to remember he is allowed to use a laptop for longer writing tasks. Anyway. Rant over.
If you fancy getting into a rage ellen, although it might read quite funny after a glass of wine or two.
15th Feb is a statutory date, in order to ensure there is enough time for a tribunal if needed.
Bang on Ellen, kids break up on the 15th!
Oh ffs, what is it with men being unable to manage their blooming diaries. Honestly it drives me batty! Poor ds2 as well, think I'd rather go to Iceland than Disney meself.
Star's absolutely right about it being the statutory date, but there's nothing to say that LEAs can't name before that date, especially in cases where it's the day the kids break up for half-term.
Waves and honks to everyone.
Knackered here, ds had a sleep study at home on Weds, will get the official report next week, but his 02 levels were going down to 74, so I think he will need some oxygen at home, although they are thinking obstructive sleep apnea, so want to do another, fuller sleep study.
Also had 2 emergency appointments wrt his chest, one picked up another infection in his left lung, so he has another 3 weeks worth of antibiotics, after which they want to do a ct scan, as they believe he may have scarring on his lung, or have aspirated something which won't shift. So it has been a week of coughing, meds, bleepy machines and chest physio in the hazey household!
Oh and we have a date for ds's statement meeting....ulp!!
moosemama, it was no shock, he's five and it's been apparent for some time. The process was quite straightforward, I knew he would be diagnosed, but I still went round all the what ifs in my head. The nice part has been how much the professionals involved have stressed that it's not down to parenting, not that I thought it was but in the back of your mind you are wondering if that's what they think! Just paranoia though I know! I think dx will help in so many different words but yes, of course, in an ideal world I wish he wasn't ASD but I have known for quite a while now so no shock factor. Just means we can move forward. But yes, do need to take some time really. The big issue is school, whether we move him and if so, how. I think we would get a placement for him elsewhere but it's the logistics of it and actually he is quite happy now, but his needs are significant. I really just don't know. I guess it's just going to have to play out over the next few months ...
all on a reasonably even keel here.
sympathies to those of you having tough times, and lots of for all.
ellen - you don't need to queue at Disney (or rather your ex and the boys won't need to) - just go to the main customer services in Magic Kingdom (in Market Square, just inside the gates) and tell them you have a child with disabilities in your party. they are not allowed ot ask for any proof of this, so no letters required. you then get a card naming the affected person and stating how many in your group. this acts as an exit pass for your whole stay.
the disability entrances/queues are often straight indoors rather than waiting in the heat etc, and as you'd expect. much shorter. we waited maximum 20 minutes for most, with the only ride where it was longer was Toy Story (then brand new) - and still only 30 mins rather than 2 hours or so. queues are also much better managed than over here - lots to look at and do etc. dd1 was fine with it all, and this was 2 years ago now, so she was 6.
Popping in with honks all round. Am off to hear a band and drink a cocktail
Gave DS the day off school today because his cheek was scarlet when he woke up, it lasted all the way through breakfast and I thought it was slapped cheek, so as it's the last day of term I thought I'd let him stay off, despite his wails of 'but I'm fine and I'll miss Golden Time.
Literally 5 minutes later all redness had gone and I realised he'd probably been sleeping on his hand. Ah well.
Sorry for gap, ds2 is drowning at school and so our evenings are taken with resuscitation!
I drank tea with a goose this morning, which was lovely. You really must all move to the SW, then we shall charter a huge galleon and sail for America. I of course shall lead the wagon train across to the pacific, where you can get very nice sushi.
I'm in zzzz - but only if you have a huge supply of seasickness pills!
zzzzz, I will join you in getting a drink. Hope everyone has a lovely weekend!
I'm in the SW!
Would it be really awful not to tell ex about the Disney exit passes? It would, wouldn't it?
As I was typing it, I did wonder myself
but it would mean ds2 had a much better time... and tbh, you ex is going ot have his work cutout regardless - Disney is a punishing holiday, seriously. you need a good month to recover from ti anyway, let alone with 3 children and additional needs.
in your place, I'd buy all the guide books, and plan everything with your boys - make sure they need to see and do everything. it'll virtually kill your ex
Hi all, head too blown away to sort out what happened to who, sorry to hear about crappy weeks with illness and rogue threads...
ds is now off for half term... ahhhhh (sigh of relief) he has been so stressed the last 10 days or so, we can finally flop.
am with zzzz getting to meet up, I will def need to get my finger out for the SW meet up.
I got distracted by going off to read starlight's thread on AIBU and I've come back to all these posts and can't keep up. Hoping all of you having crappy times get some relief soon
starlight hope you're okay after that, AIBU is a brutal place. I can remember ds at 10m still bf'ing every 2 hours, despite eating 'solids'. I couldn't express either.
I had my meeting at school about ds's unhappiness and their crapness. Saw Senco first, she was brilliant, very 'can do' lots of good ideas and very supportive of mine, said she will support me any way she can with application for SA, keen to start working on transition to secondary ASAP (ds in Y5). Then joined by class teacher, LSA and ds. CT and LSA visibly pissed off and obstructive at times, agreed on some stuff, agreed to review before Easter... it is so hard getting them to realise that just because ds can now get through the day without hurting several children doesn't mean the anxieties and frustrations have gone. They just get saved up and taken out on me, make him not want to go to school and stop him sleeping
Ellen - you must contact one or some of us in the SW, it is lovely meeting fellow geese, looking forward to signandsmile organising next meet up
Star, I can't remember if I did post to say you weren't being unreasonable, but i meant to. Then I ran away...
We had the EYASS people round, they managed to enrage DD, piss off DS and irritate the fuck out of me, despite being terribly well-intentioned and nice. Fuckwits. DD followed a new instruction this week with no real prep - just for fun I asked her to pick up DS's dressing gown and put it on his bed. And she did she is a bit obsessed with dressing gowns though, probably because our heating sucks.
Thanks Mummy I appreciated it. I hid the thread in the end. It wasn't about the OP, it was some kind of gang up!
I've had DS1 off for 3 days this week, full of cold. I'll be opening the in an hour, once both the boys are in bed. He truly got out of the wrong side of bed, this morning and ended up having a meltdown when I insisted on walking on the less slippery side of the road while we were taking DS2 to school. He would have been well enough to go back, himself, today, but being DS1, that was not going to happen.
DS2's coming on in leaps and bounds, watching and learning things. He's learnt how to put the plug in the sink and fill it so his toy fish can go for a swim!
Ooh can I join in...
Star you're brilliant and anyone who says otherwise can go fuck themselves. No idea what your thread was about but YANBU!!!!
I'm relatively new to MN but have lurked a bit on AIBU and it seems a very odd place, beset with strange rules that change on a whim depending on who's posting. Some of the regulars just seem to get a kick out of being intentionally confrontational. It's the Internet forum equivalent of the sort of 'frenemy' psyche typified by Heathers. I don't like it and don't get the mindset. Some people forget that there are real people behind the MN names and the posts.
Anyway, have a few drinks and don't worry. We love you. HONK
Star I missed the thread, but to be honest was already finding some threads hard work, so probably wouldn't have coped! <pathetic wibble>. Forget the arses I'm sure you were entirely wonderful.
moose you will be "the land lubber lying down below below below!"
sign please yes to another SW meet up, maybe we can persuade Ellen to come ...... Then again perhaps we should limit numbers. <shamelessly eyes up fudge>
I LOVE silverfrogs plan for "must do rides" at Disney. How poetic to slay Disney Dad with a Disney Marathon.
I know we can't really wagon train but if the sun shines this year, shall we try for a camp?
I had a look at your thread, Star. Seemed to get heated for no apparent reason? FWIW, DS1 had an umbilical hernia op when DS2 was 6 months old, DS2 stayed on the ward with me in his car seat and occasional BF for 6 hours.
Ex H is taking the OW and her DS to Disney, too. I'm sure it will be hard work with DS2 even with exit passes, so I probably will swallow my bitterness and tell him.
I'm definitely up for a SW meet!
Polter glad you have SENCO on your side - I hope she can make CT see sense.
ZZZZZ sorry things are no better at school. How is youngest DD this week?
Star was at the reactions you got in AIBU but I didn't post as I have made myself a rule NEVER to post in AIBU.
Sign looking forward to another meet up.
Not a brilliant week here. After making some progress Ds's OCD seems to be going backward again. However he is out tonight with DH to see a Radio 4 comedian in a live show. He is a really Radio 4 comedy fan. The show is called 7 Years in the Bathroom which if you know my DS is richly ironic.
Another week until half term here. I think we will all survive though I am having lots of weird right sided neuro symptoms this week.
Honks for all those having a hard time.
Nohaudin "7years in the bathroom"
dd3 seems fine though very overwhelmed at school and very difficult in the evenings. It's been a very tiring week.
zzzzz ooh I do like the idea of a camp. Me and ds managed one night a couple of years ago, had planned for several but took my sister who has awful hayfever that doesn't respond to any med's, so we had to come home early, dp flatly refuses to camp And in my usual obsessive manner I have everything I could ever need for camping and more
NoHaudin hope things get better for you and ds soon how is dd?
Well, we'll be camping just as soon as the temperatures rise. It will often be fairly short notice and a weekend but happy to just post on here and if anyone lives nearby who wants to toast their marshmallows on our bbq, or camp too, then that would be very lovely.
Dd is much the same. Have 2nd paed appointment in half term.
No Haudin, between us we could make a good one - all my symptoms are on the left!
Sorry ds's OCD seems to be going backwards, hope it's just a blip. How is dd doing, is her joint pain improving at all?
zzzzz, I'd love to do a camp, but know how monumentally crap I am at being brave enough to show my face at these things. Maybe if you give me regular kicks up the backside between now and then?
Missed your last post NoHaudin.
Sorry to hear dd is no better.
moose, I'm really ugly, overweight and own no clothes bought within the last 6 years when I was slimmer, have a squeky voice, look too serious and stressed and CBA to apply make up.
I think we should meet.........
Star - I don't believe a word of it.
It's not so much how I look - although I will admit to that being part of it - it's more social nervousness. Traits? Moi ... well ...
I even chickened out of the Attwood conference and I really wanted to go to that.
Fortunately, it worked out quite well as I would have paid and then been too ill to go anyway.
Ha ha. Well lots of us are used to communicating with people with 'alternative' ways.
Honestly, when ds had his General Anaesthetic on Monday and was asleep, I was just about to walk off when the doctor said 'right, give him a kiss before you go' and I stared at him thinking 'erm - oh, okay', because me and ds don't DO kisses. He's taught me how to parent him, and it definately doesn't include kisses.
Tape measures on the other hand........
Aw Moose, - no-one would have known who you were anyway!?
And besides, it's scary for all of us.
I'll never forget meeting bialy for the first time. My first words to her were 'erm, did you have a go at me this morning?'
Probably not the best opening line........
Bluebird You have to start an AIBU. It's a kind of induction. Go on, - I dare you.....
Well, I suppose at least no-one would mind if I had poor eye contact!
Maybe I could just sit in a tent and pass messages through the flysheet?
Of all the people on this board Star, you are the one I would be most terrified of meeting. I always feel distinctly ditsy whenever we are on the same thread discussing something important. You on the other hand are always so eloquent and able to get straight to the heart of the matter.
Of course having a shedload of holes in my brain doesn't help much on the thinking front. The number of times I've been desperately trying to get an idea to form, only to finally get it a few hours later and find the thread has moved on - it's most frustrating I tell ya!
Moose you underestimate yourself. Lots of your contributions are very eloquent and well thought out. Though I do get the bit about threads moving on. I do my best thinking while empting the dishwasher or something and then I either can't get back to the pc or everyone else has moved on. Or some days I want to type something but just can't get brain and energy together.
Moose I am notoriously shit at social stuff, and have even been referred to, and seen, Occupational Health doctor through work about my 'traits' but, having met a few MNSNers and even had one to my house it has surprised me how easy it has been. It is very odd and quite special. Definitely not scary. And I agree that your posts are very eloquent and full of great advice.
Thank you NoHaudin, you are very kind.
Your last sentence sums up my problem. I tend to post sporadically these days - while I can actually manage to form a fully fledged thought or idea. I find it really frustrating, as, as you can probably tell from the length of my posts - I have never been a woman of few words!
Crikey, what with the thread about how brilliant we all are and now this, it is all getting a bit schmaltzy
'You on the other hand are always so eloquent and able to get straight to the heart of the matter.'
LOL. I always feel the same about you. In fact, I think you're much less hit and miss than me.
And also, you are quite right to find me scary, because so many people who have met me have said 'oh, you're not scary in real life', so, you know, until you've met me I MUST SEEM scary, - which is a shame that I'm not in rl and probably explains why I got so much shit from LA people in meetings and had to switch to writing to them instead.
Polter, you are also very kind.
Maybe I will pluck up courage one day - although I don't actually live anywhere near many other MNSNers so have a good excuse for hiding.
Polter - agreed. Let's stop now shall we before I have to go and hide again.
I stand by what I said about Star being eloquent and on the ball though. <runs>
moose. I like your posts you goon. I think you are forgetting that you are among "like minded" people
It is amazingly peaceful to be with geese.
You could just come and camp and pretend to be non-goose, till you can't resist are allure!
Ah, a RL evening with the geese, and no-one bothering to pretend to be totally NT....
I'll be in the loo a bit too often, so I can privately about some inane comment I made
which no-one else will have even noticed [nearly inappropriately mentions pelvic floor weakness emoticon] [oops- off to in loo emoticon]
Ooo zzzzz the allure - you seem to have come over all 'Miranda'.
Mareeya, you just made me laugh. I was watching an old episode of the comedy 'Dinnerladies' earlier and they were going on about how Jean always managed to bring her 'plumbing' into the conversation at inopportune moments.
ps I'll be hiding in the next cubicle.
Right folks - that's it for me, I am at the stage of requiring matchsticks for my eyelids and will be regretting it tomorrow if I don't give in and go to sleep.
I'll have you know I'm perfectly NT, it's all in ex dickhead's genes. You'll never catch me reading the phone book, oh no!
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