Here some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

How old were you when you had your last baby?

(60 Posts)
soverytiredofthis Thu 07-Feb-13 11:20:48


We are living in limbo land. DD has epilepsy and other probs that may or may not be genetic. We are currently waiting for genetic counsellor to do some more gene testing for Rett Syndrome and other conditions related.

We have always wanted 3 children, this changed when DD was 4 months old and diagnosed with epilepsy. We went down to 2 children and now we are not sure with recent diagnosis of Microcephaly as to whether we will have anymore.

Long winded explanation but I am 33 this year and was wondering how old you were when you had last baby NT or with special needs??

autumnsmum Thu 07-Feb-13 11:22:25

I was thirty six dd three she has autism


hazeyjane Thu 07-Feb-13 11:23:48

I had our dds at 37 and 38 (both nt), after 7 years of ttc, and ds (sn) at 41.

How old is your dd?

soverytiredofthis Thu 07-Feb-13 11:23:54

Sorry for post but having a brief of a meltdown as we are about to pull apart attic as full of baby things and feel like I'm being pulled apart as I want a baby but don't feel we could cope with another child with long term special needs.

Our DD is not medically controlled as she has a very complex epilepsy.

soverytiredofthis Thu 07-Feb-13 11:24:25

DD is 3 1/2

weegiemum Thu 07-Feb-13 11:25:39

I was 32, almost 33 when I had dd2 (dc3). She has had a longstanding hip problem (now thankfully almost resolved) that may or may not be genetic - family have all given blood as part of a trial being run to research it.

ouryve Thu 07-Feb-13 11:28:12

I had DS1 at 34 and DS2 at 36. Both have ASD.

DameMargotFountain Thu 07-Feb-13 11:33:31

i was 17 when i had DS1

39 when i had DD1

DD is the only one with official DX, but i reckon all 3 are on the autistic spectrum - DS2 has dyslexia and i suspect dyspraxia also

chocjunkie Thu 07-Feb-13 11:37:45

DD1 (autism), 31
DD2 (only 2 very quirky but much more NT-ish than DD1), 34

vjg13 Thu 07-Feb-13 12:05:35

I was 30 when my first child was born [GDD] and 35 with the second who has no additional needs.

Could you not put your baby stuff in storage and give yourself a bit more time? Or give it away and have an excuse for new things if you decide having another child is right for you. smile

I would have liked more children too in a perfect world but I am very grateful for my two and not sure how well I would have managed with more.

silverfrog Thu 07-Feb-13 12:08:57

For each of mine:

dd1 (severe ASD): 28
dd2 (lots of traits, ?AS): 30
ds (only a baby, so who can tell, but all seems ok so far): 36

Crawling Thu 07-Feb-13 12:15:36

I was 17 ds (AS)
21 dd1 (asd)
23 dd2 shes too young to know whether or not she has sn.

WipsGlitter Thu 07-Feb-13 12:23:02

Ds1 - 37 NT
Ds2 - 39, Down's syndrome

I'm 43 this year and would love another one...

coff33pot Thu 07-Feb-13 12:23:42

25 for first DD
34 for my precious one I miscarried
36 for middle DD
and 41 for DS (has alphabet letters after his name lol grin)

only last one dx but we are all in the spectrum club one way or another x

merlincat Thu 07-Feb-13 12:27:34

I was 34 with Dd 1 (AS), 36 with Ds (NT) 39 Dd 2 (NT). Our families are full of AS on both sides so we were lucky, I think.

phlebas Thu 07-Feb-13 12:31:58

25 - dd1 - nt
31 - ds1 - ASD
34 - dd2 - nt
36 - ds2 - so far nt

troutsprout Thu 07-Feb-13 12:59:15

30...Baby no1...asd
35....Baby no 2.... nt

starfishmummy Thu 07-Feb-13 13:08:50

42 with my only child. Complex special needs arising from severe congenital hydrocephalus, (which we are told are not related to my age).

redhappy Thu 07-Feb-13 13:18:05

25 ds (ASD)
26 dd NT

Would love another one day, currently 31 and single so not sure if it will happen.

SallyBear Thu 07-Feb-13 13:21:23

30 - twins TDD Treacher Collins Syndrome (TCS) & TDS ASD/Dyslexia/Dyspraxia
35 -DS3 NT
37 - DS4 TCS & ASD

Strongecoffeeismydrug Thu 07-Feb-13 13:35:16

21 DD NT
30 DS autism

moosemama Thu 07-Feb-13 13:46:22

32 - ds1 - AS
34 - ds2 - Joint hypermobility syndrome and imo mild dyslexia and some AS traits (although hard to untangle as he is very influenced by his big brother)
Just a smidge under 39 - dd - NT, but I suspect she also has hypermobility

AS can clearly been seen on both sides of the family - going back several generations on dh's side - and hypermobility can be traced back through 3, poss 4, generations on my side. Wish I'd known all that before we had dcs, but wouldn't want to be without any of them for a minute.

babiki Thu 07-Feb-13 13:56:04

21 -DS NT. 27 - DD NT. 30 - DS with GDD

AgnesDiPesto Thu 07-Feb-13 13:56:45

31 DS1 NT
33 DS2 NT
36 DS3 ASD

inappropriatelyemployed Thu 07-Feb-13 14:06:46

DS1 - 35 ASD
DS2 - 37 NT-ish!

bigbluebus Thu 07-Feb-13 14:29:15

30 - DD deletion 4p-

32 - DS HF ASD

Cathwyn Thu 07-Feb-13 14:42:43


I was 32 when I had Liam (ASD)
and 37 when I had Zach (only 3 1/2 months old so too early to tell).

No family history on either side so just luck of the draw for us :-)

I would like more but hubby says NO. :-(

They are both the best little boys ever xx

PoshCat Thu 07-Feb-13 14:56:46

39. DD has developmental and speech delay.

glimmer Thu 07-Feb-13 15:32:26

35 NT - 37 (rare chromosome disorder) - 39 NT.
I really wanted a third one and thought it would be good for all my children in the long term (less responsibility on the first). They are now 5, 3 and 1 and
it is hard at times... However, I continue to think it was the right thing.
Now, I am not the ones to ask, but I'd say you have plenty of time to think about this. Maybe wait a year or two and then revisit? Or do you want them closely spaced? Has advantages and disadvantages (can't remember the year in I had a full night of sleep :-) ).

45 when I had the one and only DS (ASD)

thereonthestair Thu 07-Feb-13 16:32:10

35 miscarried
36 had ds CP caused by placental abruption

auntevil Thu 07-Feb-13 17:00:39

Stillborn at 20
DS1 dyspraxia SPD Eds at 37
DS2 EDs at 39
DS3 EDs and being assessed for dyspraxia SPD at 42
We didn't know about the EDs when we had any of them

autumnsmum Thu 07-Feb-13 17:10:15

Hello as well as last child at 36 I have dd 14 when I was 25 and ds 8 high functioning autism

shazian Thu 07-Feb-13 17:25:49

DS1 nt @ 29, DS2 @ 31 severe autism, GDD, Low muscle tone, pica, SPD then DS3 nt @ 32. 3 boys middle child severe problems, other 2 NT. No asd in either families before now and mines is big family x

NoHaudinMaWheest Thu 07-Feb-13 17:42:44

Ds HF ASD OCD dyslexia hypermobile joints at 37
DD dyslexia at 40 nearly 41

Did think about no 3 but eventually decided not mainly because of my health problems. We didn't even suspect DS had ASD until he was about 8 diagnosed at 10.

At 33 you do have time to wait especially if there is still uncertainty about DD's treatment and diagnosis.

twinkle2947 Thu 07-Feb-13 18:12:41

23 DS1 NT
26 DS2 NT
28 DS3 NT
30 DS4 NT
33 DS5 ASD (unofficially, officially diagnosis on Weds)

Davros Thu 07-Feb-13 18:18:49

Boo hoo, I thought I would get top prize but thedudesmummy has won so far.
I was 35 when I had DS who has severe ASD and 43 when I had DD who is dyslexic
Lots of AS and ASD in my family I now realise. Reason for big gap and only having two is my health with long term immune system illness.
I found having a baby at 43 quite easy but having a 5 year old at 48 was another matter! Especially with DS to manage as well but at least he was well settled at school and had clubs and holiday schemes sorted

Awomansworth Thu 07-Feb-13 18:36:08

44 - twin sons... after 10 years of trying through multiple cycles of IVF

1 NT

I had quite a demanding career, and even taking into account ds1's ASD, I have more energy now than when I worked 60 plus hours a week.

Pebbles69 Thu 07-Feb-13 19:21:04

18 DD1 Dyslexia
22 DS1 NT
30 DD2 NT
35 DS2 ASD
38 DD3 NT

Know what you mean Davros! Having a baby at 45 was a piece of cake, but having a 3 year old non-verbal autistic toddler at nearly 50 is something else! And I still have the demanding career too! But I seem to find the energy somewhere (in DS's lovely giggle maybe!)

Goodtalkingtoo Thu 07-Feb-13 19:52:47

17 NT
24 Dcd, aspergers
28 nt
34 nt

Spyrofan Thu 07-Feb-13 20:08:41

21 ASD
22 NT

WaftyCrank Fri 08-Feb-13 21:58:15

20 - DS1, ASD, pica and SPD
21 - DD1, NT
23 - DS2, NTish (Quite a few traits but he's only 22 months)
25 - DD2, 3 months so not sure yet but so far so good.

TaggieCampbellBlack Fri 08-Feb-13 22:08:47

21 - DD1 nt
23 - DD2 as

Would have liked a couple more but ectopic and knackered tubes put paid to that idea.

marchduck Fri 08-Feb-13 22:48:17

DS - 32 (NT)
DD - 34 (ASD)
DH & I have been together since I was 18 and married realtively young. We had more or less resigned ourselves to being on our own, but then our wee miracles came along!
One of my friends has just had her first baby, aged 40 - they are both doing the best.

I had DS1 at 19. He's dyspraxic and probably dyslexic. Ds2 is NT. I had him at 28.

HecateWhoopass Fri 08-Feb-13 22:52:05

erm, 26 I think. I can never remember how old I was when I had the kids. That's really bad, isn't it? blush I have to get a bit of paper and work it out.

Mid 20s anyway, for both of them. They were born 15 months apart. Both have autism and younger also ADHD.

We were going to have 3, but once we had DX x 2, we decided to not have any more.

float62 Sat 09-Feb-13 10:30:01


Pagwatch Sat 09-Feb-13 10:32:00

30 with DS1 . NT

33 with DS2 . Asd

40 with DD . NT and absoloutely a fabulous decision smile

HotheadPaisan Sat 09-Feb-13 14:01:47

35 - DS1, 6, PDA
38 - DS2, 3, strong-willed smile

isthatallyouvegot Sat 09-Feb-13 15:16:21

25- Ds 8 yrs - (HFA?)
29- Dd 4 yrs - (delayed S&L)

Badvoc Sat 09-Feb-13 17:37:05

30 nearly 31 - ds1 - significant developmental delay
35 nearly 36 - ds2 - NT

tabulahrasa Sun 10-Feb-13 03:46:36

17 DS, AS, joint hypermobility and hypotonia and a speech disorder

21 DD NT

MerryCouthyMows Sun 10-Feb-13 05:19:27

I was 29, DS3 has hyperactivity (with a high probability of ADHD), probable Autism (being assessed in May), SALT issues, hypermobility syndrome and life threatening allergies.

Awaiting genetic test results as DD and DS2 have the same issues, except for the allergies.

MerryCouthyMows Sun 10-Feb-13 06:39:39

To clarify :

16 DD - Hypermobility syndrome, GDD, LD's, HFA, partially deaf, dyslexia, Dyspraxia, dyscalculia, SALT issues, APD, and two leaky heart valves that need replacing.

20 DS1 - mild, as yet undxd Hypermobility syndrome, and just starting the process of dx for Aspergers on advice of the school.

21 DS2 - Hypermobility Syndrome, GDD, ASD, partially deaf, dyslexia, dyspraxia, SALT issues, APD, chronic brittle asthma.

29 DS3 - Hypermobility Syndrome, GDD, probable Autism (awaiting ADOS in May), hyperactivity 'with a high probability of ADHD', SALT issues, life threatening allergies.

I have shite genetics.

My DC's have 3 different fathers. DD's father has two DC's that also have SN's. DS1's father is NT. DS2 and DS3 have the same father. He was dxd with Autism when he was 12, and has recently been dxd with Dyspraxia through his work.

I'm not having any more DC's, I'm waiting to be sterilised.

elliejjtiny Mon 11-Feb-13 14:53:22

23 - miscarriage
24 - DS1 - quirky and routine loving but apparantly not AS, mild hypermobility
25 - DS2 - Ehlers Danlos Syndrome
27 - miscarriage
28 - DS3 - hypermobility
29 - miscarriage
31 - DC4 not born yet

Owllady Mon 11-Feb-13 15:38:06

soverytiredofthis, have you had genetic counselling?

I was 22,23 and 29 when I had mine and my eldest is severely disabled. We were given a 10% of re-occurrence so stopped at two and then had a surprise!

My daughter has similar problems to your by the sounds of it, we never found a medical cause despite lots of tests. Retts is always tested for girls with microcephaly and GDD btw

EllenJaneisstillnotmyname Mon 11-Feb-13 18:41:08

32 with DS1, he's NT but geeky, a lot like my ex H.

34 with DS2, ASD.

37 with DS3, NT (ish) but very quirky.

For my family, DS3 has proved to be a very good decision, he's so good for DS2 (and just delicious blush )

nostoppingme Mon 11-Feb-13 20:47:07

31 - DS has DYS, DYS, ASD
33 - DD has DYS

Very intelligent children, both of them.

On both sides of our families, these conditions appear, also ADHD. Only realised this since DS his first diagnosis 2 years ago.

I sometimes think about my future grandchildren.....

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