Here some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

So, the school have threatened me with the legal team

(64 Posts)
lougle Wed 30-Jan-13 14:52:35

After sending the nice email to the Head, I have had an email telling me that if DD2 doesn't turn up at either the new school or the old school tomorrow, she'll pass on the information to the legal team and I'll be fined.

I've phoned the Inclusion Office and told them the situation. They're going to write a note on the database that I've informed them DD2 has a new school place from Monday and is visiting the school tomorrow, that I have bought uniform and am registered on their 'parentmail' system.

She's really going for me, isn't she?

porridgeLover Wed 30-Jan-13 15:58:03

Lougle, I have only just read your original thread and cannot believe what has now happened. I'm agog actually.
Thats making it personal and has little/no regard for DD's needs.

I would be inclined to email/write to the Inclusion office to follow up on your phone call and ensure there is a paper trail.
I would probably also go back to the GP and ask for a 'note' hmm to back up your concerns.

This probably wont help but try not to fret about it.... it is the bluster of a bully.

TheLightPassenger Wed 30-Jan-13 15:59:28

shock how vindictive.

LabelsGalore Wed 30-Jan-13 16:02:32

I would say that she has just confirmed that your decision to change school asap was the right one!
And if anything I think that will probably play into your favour. I am pretty sure that creating such mayhem when it is a known thing that you are changing school is the sign that she is taking it personally and perhaps, only perhaps, she is the one in the wrong. It will only reinforce your position as someone calm and reasonable at the new school.

And yy to make it in writing. I have found it is always making a BIG difference when things are in writing.

PolterGoose Wed 30-Jan-13 16:05:02

She's vile and needs to be ignored. Don't let her have any power, she does not matter anymore. Agree on the paper trail, having just started my own!

Your dd is happy and excited, that is what matters.

What a bully!!

Thank goodness you got your child out of that school. Can't imagine staff morale being very good under such a leader.

Ineedmorepatience Wed 30-Jan-13 16:33:15

She is vile, agree about creating a paper trail and would follow it up with an email and a letter to the inclusion office.

If the HT contacts you again I would inform her that you are now dealing with any issues via the inclusion office or education welfare officer. I really dont think anyone will be issuing you with a fine.

Horrible for you though, it definitely sounds like you are doing the right thing. She is just pissed off thats all.

Take care and keep copies of everythingsad

zzzzz Wed 30-Jan-13 16:40:41

Gosh what a horrific old cow. Send an "I said this you said that" email and thank your own good sense she has nothing to do with your family any more. shock

Cornycremegg Wed 30-Jan-13 16:46:11

You won't be fined. Horrible woman. It's all about power for some teachers.

If you're lucky, this HT's reputation goes before her and the new Head will be fair to you when you arrive.

justaboutchilledout Wed 30-Jan-13 18:55:33

shock Who is she, the Queen of England?

So glad you thought to test her vindictive nonsense with the inclusion office.

She sounds a really nasty piece of work. Why WOULD you hound a parent removing their child from the school? When we were removing DS1, our (foul) HT was clearly relieved that it was all over and was actually fairly polite.

imogengladhart Wed 30-Jan-13 19:17:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AuntStressie Wed 30-Jan-13 20:36:30

I would forward her email to the inclusion officer (copying her in of course) and saying 'as discussed I am forwarding the message from bitch HT for your attention'.
She can then worry about what's been said and know that the LA are aware of her little tricks. angry on your behalf -you're well rid by the look of it!

lougle Wed 30-Jan-13 20:58:23

Thank you all, you're so kind.

Well it was all rather dramatic after my post. I received a copy of the email the Inclusion officer wrote to the Locality Team manager, which was factually neutral but sent the message 'this is a waste of your time'.

I then had a phone call from new head, who was incredibly professional, pointed out that the HT was within her rights, but practically nothing would be actioned in time before DD2 was registered with them.

A few minutes of shadow boxing later, and he'd kindly suggested he talk to the lady who deals with new pupils and see if he could push the registration process along. The lovely lady phoned a few minutes later and said 'would you like DD2 to start tomorrow?'

So, she starts full-time tomorrow. It's finished, I hope. I'm half inclined not to go back for her PE kit, tbh.

AuntStressie Wed 30-Jan-13 21:03:38

smile
Hope all goes well for your dd tomorrow. My ds starts at his new school tomorrow so hopefully he'll be a lot happier now too.

imogengladhart Wed 30-Jan-13 21:19:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oh good luck!

Wow at the speed.....

LabelsGalore Wed 30-Jan-13 21:36:52

Wow, just wow.
And applaud how professional and on the ball the new HT seems to be.

lougle Wed 30-Jan-13 21:39:09

Thank you smile still traumatised though!

Star, I know, it's crazy!

Timeline:

Three weeks ago - had never even said more than 'good morning' to HT.
19 days ago - attendance letter and first discussion with HT, which was not encouraging.
Monday 9.00am - 2nd discussion - made clear that there would be no partnership
Monday 10.30am -friend phoned and offered to check for places at another school
Monday 12pm - phonecall to other school to enquire about a place for DD2 - offered initial meeting with head teacher for 6th Feb - declined and asked for speedy start date.
Monday evening -email to head explaining decision.
Tuesday morning - offer letter through post
Tuesday 5pm - email from head expressing disappointment.
Tuesday 6pm - email to head sharing regret and thanking for good wishes
Wednesday 10.30am - visit school to purchase uniform, hand in acceptance, proofs, etc. Come home and label uniform
Wednesday 2pm - DD1's carer arrives to check on DD2, I explain saga and as I go to read email I sent, I notice email threatening legal action.
Wednesday 2.15 -phone call to new head - unable to talk
Wednesday 2.20 phone call to inclusion officer
Wednesday 3pm - email from inclusion officer copying entry on database
Wednesday 3.30 - phone call from new head.
Wednesday 4pm - lovely lady confirms that DD2 can start tomorrow.

Utterly nuts.

PolterGoose Wed 30-Jan-13 21:50:46

Just wow!

Very best of luck for mini-lougle for tomorrow. How does she feel about it?

porridgeLover Wed 30-Jan-13 21:53:57

Thats fast.
I am delighted for you lougle.
I wish DD a lovely first day tomorrow and that its the first of many at her new school. Wine for you. wine

lougle Wed 30-Jan-13 21:57:55

DD2 is very excited and a little scared. We'll see tomorrow how she does.

LabelsGalore Wed 30-Jan-13 22:02:58

smile
Hope it will all go well tomorrow.

justaboutchilledout Thu 31-Jan-13 03:22:47

It must be nearly morning over there, just checking in to wish you luck today

lougle Thu 31-Jan-13 06:34:51

Thank you! Well DD2 is up and shrieking, so she sounds excited. Let's hope it continues.

tattoosarenotallowed Thu 31-Jan-13 07:00:39

Good luck to her. I hope it goes well

inappropriatelyemployed Thu 31-Jan-13 07:36:22

Sorry you've been through this Lougle. You have done the right thing. Our last head was like this. Everything was about her and not the child so she could be very vindictive. I stuck with it and she never changed. In fact, when we left, I fond out she had said alsorts of things behind my back to the LA (or rather head got her clerk of Govs to do so by email!). Terrified of criticism affecting her outstanding rating.

Anyway, I was going to add that you can always say you a home edding in any gap between schools. No one will challenge that. But you have it sorted now anyway.

Best of luck

marchduck Thu 31-Jan-13 09:55:54

Good luck to your little girl on her first day Lougle

imogengladhart Thu 31-Jan-13 10:08:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chocjunkie Thu 31-Jan-13 10:30:15

keeping all fingers and toes crossed for your DD2 smile

ChippingInLovesMN Thu 31-Jan-13 10:39:51

Lougle - it's ridiculous, absolutely bloody ridiculous. If you have the energy I'd write a letter of complaint and send copies to all and sundry!!

I hope DD LOVES her new school smile

Handywoman Thu 31-Jan-13 11:29:38

....coming late to this..... WOW! A triumph, Lougle!

Glad to hear dd2 woke with a spring in her step. Forget the old PE kit, let the positivity spill over... honking for you, and for mini-Lougle. Hope her first day goes well.

I also think you are along the right lines with Option B for approach to new HT.

More wine for you from this direction wine

lougle Thu 31-Jan-13 11:51:34

Little update:

New receptionist took us for a quick tour of the lunch hall and showed DD2 where her classroom and toilets are.

New teacher is lovely. Very jolly, extremely positive. She apologised profusely for not having everything ready (well that would be because we're starting 3 days early!)

Teacher showed masses of interest in DD2's homework and put it on their 'sharing board' for everyone to see. She told DD2 how much her class were looking forward to seeing her. She identified a child who she thought would be good to introduce DD2 to, and asked her Mum if she could enter the class early so that she could look after DD2.

I wasn't going to say anything to teacher, but when the child said hello to DD2, she just stared at the girl (not unpleasantly, just blankly, as she does) so I just said to the teacher 'By the way....DD2 has a few issues with social skills, so she tends to just stare at other children when they say hi. She also tends to agree with anything you're saying, even if it isn't true, so you may notice that and you may need to use really open questions.'

The response?

Amazing - She thanked me for letting her know and said that any little pieces of info were so useful. She said to pop in any time if I had any concerns and that I was welcome to see her books at any time!

LabelsGalore Thu 31-Jan-13 12:07:17

Fantastic!!
This looks ever so positive compare to the response you had at her previous school.
You must be so pleased and relieved.

What about your dd, has she been as keen on her new school?

NoHaudinMaWheest Thu 31-Jan-13 12:09:44

So glad you have had a really positive start.

PolterGoose Thu 31-Jan-13 12:10:17

Lovely, very looking forward to hearing how dd's first day went.

starfishmummy Thu 31-Jan-13 12:12:47

Hope the day goes well for littlelougle.

lougle Thu 31-Jan-13 12:13:57

Well she seemed ok when I said goodbye...we'll see.

I've also contacted admissions (who said earlier in the week that I'd have to put in a late application) and when I explained that under no circumstances could I put DD3 in her former 1st choice school, he said to email across the details and the changes and it should be able to be amended despite the deadline passing - watch this space!

fuckadoodlepoopoo Thu 31-Jan-13 12:19:52

Can you link the original thread? This all sounds interesting but I've no idea what its about.

lougle Thu 31-Jan-13 12:25:28

Original Thread

This was never going to be a 'bumbling along to a compromised solution' situation hmm

I think you played it really well, pointing out a difficulty when it presented instead of going in with a list of concerns that they haven't yet witnessed.

Teacher sounds fab.

15th Feb is the deadline for extenuating circumstances wrt admissions. So hopefully all will be fine with that.

Walter4 Thu 31-Jan-13 12:45:36

Incredible lougle! So pleased she so excited, be thinking of you both tomo .

lougle Thu 31-Jan-13 13:21:07

Star - where did you find that? I've just read through the Admissions Code and it isn't there at all?

lougle Thu 31-Jan-13 13:23:58

I've just checked my LA website and they state that only change of home address can be considered between 15th January and 15th February <wibble>

I honestly can't remember Lougle. I will have a look. I have a child going through admissions too and with one or two complications so did do some good reading at one point.

I think it is 'changes in circumstances' as opposed to 'changes of home address' iyswim, but I think they like to only publish the home thing as it is the most straightforward. Otherwise it looks like it is open to interpretation and they'll have appeals galore.

Possibly for tehnical reasons it can go through as a change of address, from your current address to your current address confused

zzzzz Thu 31-Jan-13 13:58:46

Honk honk. Stop wobbling you're doing fine, brilliant in fact.

I hope it's fabulous.

MareeyaDolores Thu 31-Jan-13 18:19:48

Read page 4 change of address "or other exceptional circumstances". The rules are the same nationally, but different LEAs can vary the criteria for what counts as exceptional... they need to be able to justify it in appeal though. You have timings of dd1's SN school bus after the emergency change of dd2's school today. It needs to be a rare circumstance, as LAs hate setting a precedent for late applications

MareeyaDolores Thu 31-Jan-13 18:23:50

Work out your timings for doing the two drop-offs and (providing it's obviously impossible wink) then ring or email transport to get them to confirm there's no chance of dd1's bus working out, then quote them.

And blimey, I'm left gasping for breath just watching how fast you move when your mind's made up grin thanks HONK

lougle Thu 31-Jan-13 20:36:44

The transport is a non-reason, tbh. Today I was able to get to the school, pick DD2 up at 3.30, walk back to the carpark, get her in the car and drive home by 3.35! We are quite fortunate that our new house is just two (one short, one long) roads away from the new school. I think that actually, it takes as long to get home from the old school (which is only the short road of the two roads away) because DD2 was so much further around the school and the parking was much further away.

I think I'm going to have to rely on the arguments that

a) I have asked to change my preferences just 15 days after the initial deadline and 15 days before the final deadline - this gives them plenty of time to process the change
b) I asked the same day as my DD2 was enrolled at new school, and that change is in itself an exceptional circumstance, as the vast majority of parents do not change their school between 15th Jan and 15th Feb
c) There is an irreconcilable breakdown in the relationship between old school and us
d) To force us to accept the old school place would be tantamount to refusing DD2 a school due to c)
e) No reasonable authority would insist that a parent sends a child to a school they had removed another child from, when they had the means and opportunity to prevent the situation
f) If DD3 is considered an on-time applicant, she is guaranteed a place (criteria 3, only after looked after, statemented and exceptional psychological/medical needs).

lougle Fri 01-Feb-13 12:30:27

I spoke again to Admissions today (dog-with-bone) and happened to speak to the young man named 'Sam' who I spoke to previously. He tried to change his advice and said I may well need to do a late application as 'it relates to another child.' I clarified that it is the same child's application, just a change in where her sibling priority relates to, upon which he said 'they may change it for you.'

I decided this was a bit woolly for me, so I asked him his surname for my records.

It may well be co-incidence, but half-an-hour ago, I got an email which says:

"As you have a change in circumstance that has been notified to us before the administrative freeze date, I have amended the preference order as requested.

<New> Primary School is now listed as your 1st preference school with Sibling criteria."

So, I have it in writing that she is listed as a sibling at new school and it is our first choice.

Unless there are 60 children who are either Statemented, LAC, Have medical/pshychological evidence or have a sibling at the school and live closer than 1.7 miles (we're rural), she's guaranteed a place at new school.

PolterGoose Fri 01-Feb-13 12:39:53

Well, that sounds positive. Hoping dd is enjoying her new school.

Oh Lougle! Did you narrowly miss a caring carrotology?

i.e. 'Don't worry, everything will be alright' and then when it all falls apart in the future pretend to have never heard of you?

Phew.

lougle Fri 01-Feb-13 13:13:48

Well, I would have done, if I hadn't been a regular at the SN Tavern.

DD2 was in the playground today and a girl from her new class said her name. DD2 just looked at her, turned around and started using the hopscotch. I heard her childminder say 'don't worry, when she gets to know you she might say hello'. I called DD2 over, said 'x said hello to you, say hello.', then once the girls were stood together I said to the CM 'DD2 isn't so good at the social side of things yet. She doesn't realise that when people say hello, that she should say it back.' The CM was lovely and said 'well x is the opposite, so she'll be kind and help her.'

oooh, 3 cheers for x

PolterGoose Fri 01-Feb-13 13:40:34

How lovely, both the little girl who remembered dd's name and the CM.

tattoosarenotallowed Fri 01-Feb-13 16:42:38

Oh Lougle that sounds so lovely.

lougle Fri 01-Feb-13 17:53:47

DD2 actually said to me today "Mummy, I have a new friend called x"

She also saw her cousin who is having chemo and so only comes to school sometimes. It was so sweet, they were jumping up and down, hugging in the playground.

Ilisten2theradio Fri 01-Feb-13 17:59:55

Such a good ending to your story with the old shool [ smile]

PolterGoose Fri 01-Feb-13 18:00:47

grin

zzzzz Fri 01-Feb-13 18:12:31

Yay!

EllenJaneisstillnotmyname Fri 01-Feb-13 18:16:33

Blimey, Lougle. I've been doing too much crochet and not enough MN. Well done So pleased for you and DD2. smile

Ineedmorepatience Fri 01-Feb-13 18:46:53

Really lovely end to a very stressful week for you lougle
Glad your Dd2 is settling in and happysmile

Crawling Fri 01-Feb-13 20:15:45

So glad things are going better for you now lougle.

justaboutchilledout Fri 01-Feb-13 21:21:15

good good

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