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Starlight needs help

(78 Posts)

I'm sitting on a wall outside a pub. I'm overlooking the Thames. I'm supposed to go in and welcome people, as the class rep for dd (NT) . I'm completely broke, so have had a couple of drinks already (vodka with infused rhubarb and custards homemade christmas pressure).

DH has put an offer in for a house, and upped it without asking me. It's a nice house, in an outstanding school catchment for dd and ds2. The offer he has made is ridiculous, more tan twice the price of the bigger house we left a year ago.

Wtf do I think I am doing?

I grew up in East London.

I've seen a job. I'm qualified for it. It is with our LA and about using data in Education.

I've put lipstick on.

Why do I feel the only true friends are you lot. Most of whom I have never met!?

moondog Wed 21-Nov-12 20:14:00

There are friends and new avenues everywhere.
The job sounds great, go for it.
Oh and get into the bloody pub and smile and relax!!

mariammma Wed 21-Nov-12 20:19:27

Cos we are your true friends, you daft bint.

Go inside and make happy small talk with a bunch of pleasant but daft women who, through no fault of their own, live in a middle-class, NT (and probably NCT as well) bubble in which their biggest issue is whether or not it's important to iron the freshly washed PE kit before sending it back to school.

You can have words with hubby about the ridiculous house prices in SW London tomorrow, tbh, whatever it costs, it's probably worth paying to have got away from Herts. But wtf about 'outstanding' and worrying about catchments? Think he's being brainwashed by someone at the office. Finish the school pub thing, then go home and get drunk with dh, then spike his drink and log him on here grin

Moondog's day will put paid to the 'words on a screen' friends thing...

mariammma Wed 21-Nov-12 20:21:35

No idea if the job's a good idea or not... would say you'd be great for them but would they be great for you...

Dev9aug Wed 21-Nov-12 20:24:35

"Wtf do I think I am doing?"

The long and short of it is you are doing what is best for your kids and your family overall. I am not sure who said "whatever it takes" takes on a whole new meaning when you have a child with SN, but it is so true.

You don't need help, you need some stiff drinks and a bloody good night. Enjoy your

zzzzz Wed 21-Nov-12 20:24:58

Because our life is about having the wind knocked out of you, taking an extra step at the top if the flight of stairs, the rug being given a good hard yank while you weren't looking....but we look like everyone else.

Tell Dh not to do it again.

Go drink with dd's parents and make friends.

I think of you all of my friends too.

Bluebirdonmyshoulder Wed 21-Nov-12 20:25:20

Get in there and get a drink down you and go for the job. Glad you have lipstick on!

I know I haven't been here long but already I'm finding a camaraderie which is proving - almost literally - to be a lifesaver.

Enjoy your evening, report back any stupid / irksome / pointless / middleclass comments.

zzzzz Wed 21-Nov-12 20:27:24

As my friends

I am crap at typing......I want your vodka.

Lougle Wed 21-Nov-12 20:31:54

Star, whether you have 100 RL friends or none, we will still be your friends smile.

Your DH is trying to provide for his family materially, as you have done practically and intellectually. Ingore it for now.

Stand up, walk in, and remind yourself that you are conquering The System!!

bialystockandbloom Wed 21-Nov-12 20:36:18

Ooh, big stuff! I say go for it!

And what dev said, specially the bit about enjoying a good drink and a fun night. Then come back here later and post when you're drunk so we can all laugh at you grin

bialystockandbloom Wed 21-Nov-12 20:37:36

report back any stupid / irksome / pointless / middleclass comments

Oh yes that too please.

KeepOnKeepingOn1 Wed 21-Nov-12 20:54:14

Hope all is going well - walk in the park star - you can do it if you want to (and then you can report back to us and we can gossip - small pleasures)

spiritsam Wed 21-Nov-12 20:56:24

Go for it and hugs xx

troutsprout Wed 21-Nov-12 21:00:10

Go for it star :-)

AtoZandbackagain Wed 21-Nov-12 21:01:37

Star - you need to remember that your world has been turned upside down in the past year with Tribunals, Asteroid, moving house etc.

Once the pressure is relieved emotions flood in.

I used to sit in my car in Asda's car park and blub my heart out.

Let your DH get on with it - sometimes it's good to take a back seat.

marchduck Wed 21-Nov-12 21:30:46

Good luck Star, and have a lovely evening.
And definitely go for the job! My job (public sector, flexible working hours, lovely colleagues) keeps me sane.

auntevil Wed 21-Nov-12 21:32:34

Go on Star - post when you're p****d and let us know what fatuous comments were made grin
"whether or not it's important to iron the freshly washed PE kit before sending it back to school" - blush is all I can say - but it obviously isn't all I have to worry about.
There is a commonality that links us all. We may not all have the same problems to deal with, but we all have to work the systems and deal with the hand that our DCs have been given.
House prices in SW London biscuit - but there are still real down to earth folk around, that if you don't mention North of the River, are quite welcoming grin

coff33pot Wed 21-Nov-12 23:00:44

Well its 22.55pm and I hope you are pissed and doing the can can on the tables by now and have learnt how to iron creases as sharp as razor blades grin

Of course we are all your friends you silly moo. That isnt going to change <well I might reconsider if you mention the damned ironing word again shudders>

Job? Go for it. What the hell you can start and you can just as easily finish if it doesnt work out so no big deal. It will get you out of the house and it will make you spend money on costa coffees and cakes in the office lol and maybe a few mates along the way who knows.

As for DH let him get on with it he has obviously got a swiss bank account somewhere grin

Hope you are having FUN x

auntevil Wed 21-Nov-12 23:27:49

Coff - It's nearly 11:30 now - and still no report.
I reckon they've spiked her cocktails and are quizzing her on what it is like to be an NT parent rather than a LL parent (lady that Lattes) or a LP parent (Lady that Pilates)

EllenJaneisstillnotmyname Wed 21-Nov-12 23:52:31

Where are you? Have you had the conversation about what book level their DC are on yet? grin

coff33pot Wed 21-Nov-12 23:54:11

haha! at LL and LP grin

well still no sign of a slurrrrrry post at 23.53!

Methinks she is having a go at the limbo under the tables flashing her ironed underwear grin


Nice night. Offered someone the use of our washing machine, supported someone who has been told her child is on SEN register. Talked lots about quilting hmm grin. Conversations about catchment areas for outstanding school or outstanding school.

Need to feed baby who has been left with Dh with just a timmee toppee cup of expressed milk having never had anything but breast in 5 months.....

EllenJaneisstillnotmyname Wed 21-Nov-12 23:57:30

That's nice, star. They sound like a nice bunch, not Boden wearing mummies at all. <Say's she in her Boden skirt, but it was in the sale!>

EllenJaneisstillnotmyname Wed 21-Nov-12 23:58:19

Ooo, too much use of 'nice' sounds sarcastic. blush

ProcrastinatingPanda Wed 21-Nov-12 23:59:35

I hope you downed that drink, reapplied the lippy and went back inside to have a great night - you deserve it!

Go for the job, you might love it and make great friends, or it might be just ok but you'll always have us here to moan to about it all smile, and you never know until you try.

mymatemax Thu 22-Nov-12 00:04:36

Well done Star, East London girls Rock! a little obble is allowed if forced to live the wrong side of the river grin

mymatemax Thu 22-Nov-12 00:04:51


zzzzz Thu 22-Nov-12 00:06:43

I think you'd be mad to do the job. Might be fun to get it and knock them back but between baby, ds, dd and potentially new house could you not be little less competent? You ar making me feel inadequate.

Glad drinks weren't too dire. Feed baby. Discipline Dh. Sleep.

Honk honk

coff33pot Thu 22-Nov-12 00:15:10

I am impressed that you typed that post without so much as a hic cup grin

I would be more than wobbling if I had to go north south east or west london LOL scared me to death when I was up thataways with DS!

mymatemax Thu 22-Nov-12 00:17:05

Awww Coffee us Londoners are friendly folk honest!

ProcrastinatingPanda Thu 22-Nov-12 00:22:55

Oh hi coff33pot I've not seen you around the boards today, did you know you've inadvertently been the talk of the boards a day!?

Doubt I'll apply. Ds' is 6 tomorrow. Party on Sun at our teeny house.


Baby visibly pleased to see me. Loved holding own up though

Thanks all for support. Nice night.

coff33pot Thu 22-Nov-12 00:26:09

nope scary lol grin I am used to walking up and down the road saying "morning!"etc. did that up there and you thought I had just burnt the person grin also driving is a job for a maniac that makes extra lanes! trucks wheels are taller than your car.

Oh and I got headbutted and that was by a postman because I was in his way when he came out the post office entrance as he was in too much of a hurry to stop! he said sorry but looked at his boots as he was walking. Its way way to busy for me. I am a slow beach bum ladies do latte and an occasional scrap with a seagull type of girl lol

Married a londoner though wink

Own cup

coff33pot Thu 22-Nov-12 00:28:19

talk of the boards? ummmm what did I do? blush I will deny it of course.....

EllenJaneisstillnotmyname Thu 22-Nov-12 00:30:28

What have you been doing Coff33. Link please, Procrastinatingpanda. thanks

ProcrastinatingPanda Thu 22-Nov-12 00:35:56

Argh I can't link any of the threads, they've all been deleted. But someone with a name similar to yours wrote a big bitchy thread and the person they were talking about came into the board with their own version but kept calling them coffeepot instead of coffeedog, then because they got mixed up everyone started doing it and a few posters were saying "isn'tcoffeepot a regular around the SN boards too?"

ProcrastinatingPanda Thu 22-Nov-12 00:37:02

One of the thread titles was "Coffeepot are you talking about me?" or something along those lines.

EllenJaneisstillnotmyname Thu 22-Nov-12 00:41:23

Oh dear, I hope someone put them straight!

coff33pot Thu 22-Nov-12 00:41:42

what......someone is duplicating my proffessional drinking name? how rude.

No I missed that due to loads of stuff on at home so only popping on and off like yo yo. but whatever it is I have a 33 as in coff33pot in my name and I hardly EVER venture outside these SN walls and if I do I wish I didnt bother smile

so in this case yes I shall deny it grin

ProcrastinatingPanda Thu 22-Nov-12 00:47:22

A couple of people put everyone straight including me but the threads were moving so fast that I don't think anyone noticed.

zzzzz Thu 22-Nov-12 00:47:22

Yes I read loads of the twaddle thinking it might be our coff.....not a chance 'twas all very stupid stabby yuk. Besides which I've tried one of cof33pots party bags and she wouldn't have wrangled over such nonsense, she'd have blown them out of the water with her bounty.

How strange that they knew you were a regular here. Perhaps we are more observed than you would think?

ProcrastinatingPanda Thu 22-Nov-12 00:50:00

Yes there would be none of this 'one book and a couple of sweets' nonsense from our coff33pot grin

coff33pot Thu 22-Nov-12 00:51:37

confused its about party bags?

zzzzz Thu 22-Nov-12 00:53:29

Ooooo panda that's fighting talk.

I don't give bags at all really. Lots of prizes, a balloon, a slice of cake and last year a woopi cushions with instructions that they must ALL take them to school on Monday. grin

<tight and evil>

coff33pot Thu 22-Nov-12 00:53:40

I have only done them once and that was for our exciting days meet?

I have made some xmas ones for the shop though.... I am lost now lol

EllenJaneisstillnotmyname Thu 22-Nov-12 00:55:06

Oh, was it the party hijacking thread, where one mother was having a party for her twins and another was going to turn up with relatives and a cake for her DD but not contribute?

zzzzz Thu 22-Nov-12 00:55:22

Naa it's about a sharing a party and daft women falling out and calling each other free loaders/unfair all over their kids nursery school and the Internet. confused


zzzzz Thu 22-Nov-12 00:56:10

Xwith ellen NOT disagreeing with her eeeeeek!

EllenJaneisstillnotmyname Thu 22-Nov-12 00:56:44

First mother made out second mother was a cheapskate, then second mother turned up with quite a different take on things. It's all been deleted now.

ProcrastinatingPanda Thu 22-Nov-12 00:57:10

Yes ellen and zzzz are both right, but two threads were going, one started by the party organising mum and another by the party crasher mum; both with different stories!

EllenJaneisstillnotmyname Thu 22-Nov-12 00:59:24

Cool! grin

Are you scared of me, zzzzz? wink

zzzzz Thu 22-Nov-12 01:00:28

If it will make you happy

EllenJaneisstillnotmyname Thu 22-Nov-12 01:01:35

grin <-- This happy!

zzzzz Thu 22-Nov-12 01:02:25

<artful cowering>

zzzzz Thu 22-Nov-12 01:04:18

Oh good grief it's raining again.

ProcrastinatingPanda Thu 22-Nov-12 01:05:25

I'm going to go off to bed and let you two fight it out.

coff33pot Thu 22-Nov-12 01:05:37

okaaaay well I missed that show thank goodness! My nursery days are over thank goodness. I suppose it was different to the norm for a days viewing in SN grin

Changing the subject I have just won Portal 2 on ebay for DD for £13 ! first time I have ever bartered and it was fun! So I did it again and just got Rock Band for the ps3 with game, guitar, and drums for £25! and why?.....................because I am a big kid at heart and I am sooo looking forward to rocking with DS on xmas day heheheee.

coff33pot Thu 22-Nov-12 01:06:23

its throwing it down with rain here too :/

ProcrastinatingPanda Thu 22-Nov-12 01:11:18

Oh rockband is great fun.

EllenJaneisstillnotmyname Thu 22-Nov-12 01:13:15

Portal 2 is fantastic!

<Bites thumb at zzzzz>

justaboutchilledout Thu 22-Nov-12 06:38:45

Oh wow. Glad night went well. Is Star hungover now?

Check out my scream-with-laughter thread, everyone. Very funny.

bialystockandbloom Thu 22-Nov-12 10:29:28

Glad you had a good night, Star, and happy birthday to ds! don't worry nobody noticed the drunk spelling

coff33 people did realise the bizarre party-thread wasn't by you, think the poster was called coffeedog, but last I saw she never came back anyway, it was all very odd, and then pulled. But it was strange that a few posters (not SN regulars) knew that it wasn't you, so guess some folks do read this section <waves to lurkers>

NoHaudinMaWheest Thu 22-Nov-12 11:30:05

Isn't there some way of finding out which threads a poster has been on recently? So if someone investigated our Coff they would find out that she is a SN regular without knowing anything else about her or the SN board.

zzzzz Thu 22-Nov-12 11:41:01

NaHaudin that is a very sensible explanation.

Ellen I'm sorry terror obviously sent me straight to sleep!

Dev9aug Thu 22-Nov-12 11:53:09

Oh and star don't go taking on that job either, you are going to come work with us remember...grin

blueShark Thu 22-Nov-12 12:14:55

is there any rental potential in the house he has put an offer for? A room or convert a part to a studio?
I was in the same boat few years ago when I sent my husband to do some viewings, he didnt like any and asked the agent does he have anything better, which was nearly double than our budget. He fell in love with the house, but since he is a builder we converted 2 studios and the rent comes welcomed every month.
Go for the job, its great to get out of the house. I am also applying, had enough of therapists, therapies, school issues, nappies...need a new life.
And I hope you had a drink for me, my strict diet doesnt allow me any sad

blueShark Thu 22-Nov-12 12:15:56

btw...Happy Birthday to DS, hope he has a fantastic year ahead x

bochead Thu 22-Nov-12 13:00:53

Don't fret Star - if it all gets too middle class you can always come to my house - deepest sarf laandan wiv a "beware of the cat" (staff's as soooo last decade sweetie) on the door and everyfing. I'll drop my "H"'s, make proper tea wot you can stand your spoon upright in and we can plan a raid on my nephews white card city models together wink

OK so the area is a wierd & overpriced, but the natives aren't actually hostile and the LA is hellbent on destroying your family so that's a bonus. All your kids are happy and you are making friends without having to look over your shoulder constantly for incoming missiles from the LA. Don't be scared to be happy or Herts will have won iykwim.

If the offer on the house is in fantasy land - then just withdraw the offer, and look around for summat else. I'm convinced that Oftstead is a total con - if a school is really awful local residents will know why, and the rest is all just a political farce.

Dev I'm not taking the job. LA salary wouldn't cover the childcare for 3 children with complex logistics. Perhaps one day though, or perhaps I'll apply just for the practise and to give them the opportunity to double the salary and throw in some free childcare.....

What was I thinking feeding the baby last night though? I left two whole cups of expressed milk for just 3 hours. Came home to a screaming baby (DH said he had only just started) so fed him. He then didn't wake up for 11 hours shock which was the first night he has ever slept through.

Hope he's okay.

Haven't read through the weirdness in the middle of the thread. Tried to last night but thought I must have been too drunk.

Quick glance today shows that, no, it IS a bit weird grin

Glad you sound a bit more focused.

Apologies for not being on and seeing the beginning, especially when you've been there for me in the past blush

Hang in there x

I do miss my friends from my life before the DS battle. Some of them would have stuck with us as their children grew up alongside DS and they weren't afraid of his difference. But 2 moves and now being in the totally opposite side of London means that they are only really facebook friends atm.

The mums were really lovely actually. Don't get to see most of them at the school gates as I'm in Nanny-Land (although the nannies are also nice).

I guess you don't give a toss about your own life though when you are wading through the thick mud.

It's still a bit muddy though. DS's school were using a tape measure as a reward for 10 tokens. They decided that they needed to widen his interest in tape measures, so now he wins tokens for a tool drawer with other measuring implements in it hmm.

I'm sure it is fine, but its the basics of behavioural intervention, that you don't mess with the reinforcers.

They also don't measure whether the number of 'time out of the classroom' or 'sensory interventions' are reducing or increasing as a result of this new 'strategy'.

Funny thing though is they say that it seems to be working! Which well it might, but not so by design.

blueshark. Perhaps there is potential for an extention/loft conversion, but we'll have NO money for at least 10 years to do that.

Probably won't get it though as the estate agent is telling us that they have received offers of over £50k more, but I'm not sure I believe that. Estate agent trying to instigate a bidding war by telling us that he has arranged for everyone to put their 'last and final offer' in by Friday as well as evidence of finances.

Might tell dh in that case to put in a lower offer.

zzzzz Thu 22-Nov-12 15:15:47

"quick glance today shows that, no, it IS a bit weird"

The joy of mn sn summed up in a sentence. grin

mymatemax Thu 22-Nov-12 17:55:57

Starlight, do not believe the estate agent! Go with the offer you want to put in & dont be influenced.

Can you get ds to measure up for a loft conversion smile
Hope you enjoyed your evening, a few drinks & a night out can work wonders for sanity1

coff33pot Thu 22-Nov-12 19:21:23

210,000 you can have the one next to meeeeeeeeeeeee prob less now and they would defo take a undercut. It has a garage and an extension (first floor) to the back and a front and back garden and 3 beds and central heating, DG and then there is meeeeeeeeeee Do you want me to pay YOU is that it LOL grin

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