Here some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.
friday night thread(65 Posts)
always fancied starting one lol but not around much till most are in bed.
Hello lol I am here and off again as got to go docs for DD and DS meds catch you all in a bit x
I need to go and cook dinner now DH is home. DS1 has just calmed down after a meltdown triggered by goodness knows what after school. Probably a continuation of the getting out of the wrong side of bed, this morning.
It's a funny ol world.
DS is doing RDA (think he's found his gift tbh), after school art club, hakipdo and is at his school's film club right now! All these activities are carefully chosen mainstream things with the exception of the riding for the disabled (no way I could afford for him to do it except via funded scheme tbh).
Just 18 months ago my lil boy was spooked by his own shadow, behaviorally too challenging for school etc, etc, etc. He was painfully lonely for such a long time. It's not that long ago he was like a limpet, out of school, & I even couldn't go to the toilet alone. I can't believe how far he's come. I'm over the bloody moon for him tbh.
It feels so wierd being able to meet a friend occasionally for a cup of coffee after years of being so isolated in RL. I feel like I need a social skills group too!
My sibling is still causing issues, but it's one of those situations where you have to sit back and let it play out to a certain point before going into battle. At some point in the next couple of months it'll be hammer & tongs with adult (fight for supported living place) & children's services (AR), so I'm making the most of the calm before the storm lol!
I've just finished a week of nights. I hate nights but this week was shocking. Simply too many babies!
Anyway.... not a bad week here. DD had a wobble on monday but ok since. I have decided to look st ckaiming DLA for her. Need a new door. Again.
Boc - sounds good!
hey all! boc that souns fab, I have had a good week sorting out the house (still! [blush) and I have another two weeks to go before the ikea shipment arrives...
ds is doing ok at school, and managed to get a haircut in this week, (so I no longer look like a thellwell pony! )
DH has friends to stay this weekend, so I am cooking for England, (homemade bakewell, or steamed pud with homemade lemon curd sauce for anyone?)
Will return to thread when I have fed everyone.
am here at the other end of the table whilst DD eats her dinner
i think she's had a really tough week, but has been f/t at school since Tuesday
am trying not to laugh at her as when she really lost her temper at me (i asked her to go to the toilet, bad parent i am) she shouted...
'MUMMY, YOU'RE A REAL RASCAL!!' and stomped off in her finest flounce
Hello. It's DS2's birthday tomorrow. He's having an old friend (only friend, really) who moved away over for a sleepover. We'll go to the pictures and (I suspect) tea at KFC. (Not my choice, obviously!)
Poor old DS3 is doing the 11+ tomorrow. Mainly because the inclusive comp DS1 and 2 go to doesn't have a sibling policy and we are out of catchment. Weird experience having a child doing an 11+ when you are more used to SENCOs, statements and the like. Not that DC with SN can't be bright, but it's a whole different world for me.
Better go and do some tea, catch you later...
Hey all. Catch up in a minute.
But my Uncle passed away this morning so not a good day. DD was banging on at me and interupting the phone call when I was being told and I gave her a warning to be quiet but she continued stating that she wanted a chocolate (My DH returned from Sweden yesterday laden with stupid edible gifts) so I let out my frustrations on her when I hung up and she took herself to her bedroom and for the next 15 mins all I heard was wailing:
'I don't like Mummy, I don't want to live here any more, I want to stay at school for ever and ever!'
So, - not really been a good day......
Brilliant news Boch, and lol Unchartered!!
Ooh big day tomorrow Ellen. Good luck.
Unchartered, - I can't find evidence of the FOI. Did it go through okay?
I am feeling frustrated and ranty, so am going to try and stay calm until I have consumed my own body weight in chocolate and the devils foodcake my Mum has just delivered. I am on my own tonight, as dh started a new job this week and has to go to their monthly departmental social tonight.
It's all been rather odd, as he used to be here until about ten past nine in the mornings and take the boys to school, then come home for lunch and be home for 6.30 in the evening. Now he leaves at 7.30 am, can't get home for lunch and arrives home at nearer 7.00 pm in the evening. He also used to be able to move his lunch-break to attend school and medical appointments with me and there's no more of that with this new job.
Am feeling a little bereft to be honest. We've always spent a lot of time together, even working together in the same office of a couple of companies and running a business at home for a few years years, so together 24/7 for many years really. Still, it's almost double his old salary and he is finally happy and doing what he enjoys, so there will be some compensations I suppose. (I've told him I've been eyeing up designer handbags - you should have seen his face. Daft bat, I don't even like handbags, let alone designer labels!)
Bochead it's lovely to hear how well your ds is doing.
Unchartered, I had to smile at 'you're a real rascal' what a fantastic way to flounce.
Ellen, Happy Birthday Ds2, hope he has a lovely day and good luck to ds3 for his 11+.
Evening, I'm mumsnetting from bed because I'm not well. How is everyone?
Cross posted Starlight. So sorry to hear about your uncle.
Don't worry about dd. Mine also wants to live at nursery at the moment and I am bad mummy because she's been off sick all week.
Sorry you aren't well Pedantic. Hope you feel better soon. <passes medicinal chocolate>
It's okay, - forgot to say that DH also brought me a number of edible gifts too...
I just wish I could demonstrate how much I loved my dd, but there is always just so much conflict.
I probably need to spend more quality time with her, just playing or something.
Moose - yay - I don't like handbags either. Never knew anyone else.
Dare I ask if you have got through life without owning a purse also? - or is that pushing it?
Hey all. Good week here. Told a cple of people about ds' diagnosis and noone fell over in shock/ avoided us like the plague. Yay.
Boc - good news.
Panda - get well soon.
All else - hello! we got through another week!
Star I know it's controversial for some people on here, but have you looked at that love-bombing thread that was around last week?.
It's common sense stuff really, but I found it helped me to realise that I already do a lot of what they recommend without even thinking about it and that reassured me that all of my children know they are loved.
It's basically just setting some time aside every now and then and allowing what happens to be completely child led. So essentially, do whatever they want and don't offer any suggestions or opinions at all. Obviously not many of us can find the time (or energy, or enthusiasm) to do this very often at all, but I find even just little half hour windows here and there when dd chooses what we do really does help. She might just choose to sit on my knee and watch tv or read a mountain of books one after the other or bring me endless cups of imaginary tea, it doesn't really matter as long as I go along with whatever it is and don't try to take any of the control away from her for that window.
That said, she will know you love her you know - even if you don't think she does.
I never had a handbag or a purse until I ended up having to carry around a bag full of baby paraphanalia when I had ds1. Even then I refused to have a traditional baby bag and had a tiny denim backpack with just the bare essentials in.
I just hate having to carry bags around. I'm a 'pockets' person. Far less faff than lugging along an 'appendage' with you everywhere you go.
I do have a purse now, as I have everyone's library cards etc in it, but nine times out of ten I fail to take it with me when I go out. I am often caught out at the school when they spring playground fundraising stuff on us and I never have any cash. My dcs get very annoyed with me about it.
I really don't get the whole designer handbag thing. It's a bag fgs, what's all the fuss about.
Star i'll do it again for you, i told you i was good
Star I'm so sorry about your Uncle.
Ellen happy birthday to ds2 for tomorrow!
And bochead that is brilliant - yay for ds!
A bit of a strange week for us, dd (2yo) had her tonsils & adenoids out on Tuesday, which went fine (though was horrid seeing her going under the GA, must be so hard for parents whose dc have to go through that regularly). But it's meant that she has had to stay at home all week, so we've been pretty housebound. There is only so much painting/playdo/tea parties/vets/doctors/baking and peppa pig
want to stab my eyes out I can take.
What was nice was seeing that ds actually did miss her while she was in hospital, and has been exceptionally patient with her
diva behaviour since she's been back <proud>
And school seems to be going well, finally - have realised so much depends on the class teacher doesn't it.
Now just waiting for DP to get home so I can crack open some wine.
I have my bank card and oyster card on the window sill by the door, and on my way out bank card goes in my bra on one side, and the oyster card goes in the other.
Phone and key loosly in one pocket. 2-3 nappies and a half used wet-wipe packet in my other pocket.
As you might imagine, I never look especially stylish.
Moose I'm the same, never used bags until I had DS, and even then I refused to use a changing bag.
Starlight I'm impressed! Nappies in your pocket? Your jacket pockets must resemble Mary poppins famous big bag!
I'm feeling very weary and flat
DS is going from angry and shouting to very quiet and barely coming out of his room.
Had an awful episode with him yesterday...he is so low and defeated and just thinks his life is shit and will never be good for him. He keeps telling me very angrily that he's a useless piece of shit.
I'm keeping a close eye on him and feel really worried he might hurt himself.
Feel like I am unable to manage anything atm. I'm exhausted just getting through the day
Had to go and get prescriptions done this afternoon so checked out pizza hut...it was really quiet so DS was ok to go in, we found a table in a corner.
I seldom bother about other people staring or whatever but today I think maybe I'm feeling too sensitive...couldn't handle it and felt like crying.
Glad to be home again and in my pjs....picked up some crumpets...hot, buttered with strawberry jam and a big mug of coffee
simple things eh!
Now you see, if I put my card in my bra it would be in danger of never being seen again!
As it is I live in jeans, so have at least 4, if not 5 pockets in every pair to utilize. Doesn't exactly give me a smooth, silhouette, but then it wouldn't be smooth if my pockets were empty. Add my rather dowdy raincoat over the top and that adds another 2 roomy pockets to fill as well.
I started carrying more baby stuff when ds2 exploded in spectacular fashion through every item he was wearing and all I had with me was some nappies and wiped and a spare vest. We had to spend a fortune on a new outfit for him in a nearby children's clothes shop.
Bank card down bra? Must be interesting when you have to get it out to use in shops
The best piece of advice I got when I first had a baby was to carry a spare set of clothes.
whatthe sorry you are having such a hard time. Screw other people, if they really find a child with sn so fascinating it just shows what shallow, ignorant arseholes they are. But your poor ds. It sucks sometimes doesn't it x
Hello everyone - I am sneaking in a few minutes while DH goes to collect DD from gymnastics. Its pouring down here and I am still damp from taking her earlier.
star sorry to hear about your uncle.
whatthe hang in there - feeling sorry for your DS.
I'm laughing at the image of everyone's pockets. - while I often leave a bag at home - I can honestly never say I abandoned a changing bag - but I had one that was a rucksack.
bochead listinging to all those activities gives me hope for DS in the future - its nice to hear good stories.
DS has lost 2 coats this week. Neither of which can be found. As it is cold and wet I am going to have to take him shopping for a new one tomorrow. He HATES shopping - so not exactly how I planned to spend my birthday.
But we are going to see We Will Rock You tomorrow, DS loves queen so I am hoping it will all go well and the loud music won't be too overwhelming.
Hope everyone has a good weekend.
Whatthe, sorry you are having such a tough time of it at the moment. Poor ds. Wish I could offer some useful advice, but in the absence of that I am sending you chocolate and ((hugs))
Alison, ds lost a coat in year 1 that resurfaced at the end of year 3! Turned out it had been purloined by one of his tormentors and hidden behind some storage boxes in the infant school. It made me cry when we got it back, partly because of the horrid little imp that was bullying ds all through infant school and partly because he used to look so lovely in it, but now it was too small and stained all over with rust marks where the roof had leaked (which is how it was found).
Happy Birthday for tomorrow, hope you have a good day in spite of coat shopping and enjoy your night out.
knackered and caked out from holding a cake sale in aid of Jeans for Genes day at dd's school. It was absolute mayhem, I was nearly swamped by marauding cake frenzied children, but we raised about £340, and the dds feel really proud to have organised the whole day, so well worth it.
Ds has been having a bad week, starting with a vomiting bug (which wiped me out as well) and has spent the last 2 days screaming, and grumpy, banging his head on things, it is exhausting. I hope he isn't coming down with something, but if he isn't I don't know what could be causing it.
Actually, what is interesting is trying to breastfeed, with clothes and hooks and bank cards flying everywhere.
Since DS was born in June I've managed the occasional leaky nappy by stripping down and covering with a blanket or my coat. Probably have to rethink now it's getting colder.
(It's turning into a really long evening)
Star - sorry for your loss
Ds spent the week in Y6 as his year (Y5) have been of on a residential, he spent one day up there to join in fossil hunting, but was furious he couldn't bring any ginormous ammonites home! He's had a great week, been allowed free reign on a laptop and has been making a PowerPoint on bugs, he usually hates ICT so this has been a good boost for him. It was interesting to see how differently he behaves with the older children, bodes well for move to secondary school, the thought of which terrifies me...
I'm still avoiding revising for an exam a week on Monday, today found me on my hands and knees cleaning floors, anything but revision
DP has bought the first mince pies of the year, including the Heston ones, anyone for a bit of Xmas?
Star - sorry to hear about your Uncle. I was very sad when mine died, he was my Dad's brother (my Dad died some years ago) and they sounded alike; when he died, it was like losing that last connection.
Moosemama - your story about your DS coat brought a tear to my eye. It is just SO painful when your children are being so badly treated by other children, has some experience of it myself..
I am digging out IEPs and getting reading for AR.
I was never a handbag person until i had the boys, either, Moose. I usually carry a small but practical across the body bag, now, though, since pockets just aren't big enough but I don't want to have my hands full or wear something on my back where it's an easy target for pickpockets (had my NUS card stolen from my backpack YEEEEEARS ago but have been wary ever since)
I also have my own junior pickpocket, now. DS2 likes to pinch my keys and any coins I have and hunt for any toys I've taken off him and might have forgotten about (he carried a whole tub of magnetic letters to school 3 days running, this week - they DIDN'T fit in my bag!)
Hazey, my lot have just had a vomiting virus that turned into killer headaches and then a stinking cold. Could it be that?
Well done to your dd, she has every right to be proud of herself for organising all that.
My name is NotActuallyMe and I own a mulberry handbag. Can i still stay ? It was a long time ago...
I'm having a good laugh with myself here...I was given a gift last christmas from a friend...it's a pink leopard print onsie!
My reflection is not to be shared...but I'm lovely and cosy ...good job I'm single me thinks!!!
Lol. I envy you your grab and go ability. I do the charging around the house with the buggy halfway out of the door trying to figure out which item of clothing last held my key, and having to try and identify it from the coins (don't do key rings either)
Ooh, now I want one. Especially after discovering you can add liqueurs to porridge from the main board today, can't think of anything snag glider.
notactuallyme <whispers> I love bags too, esp Mulberry ones.
ouryve something you'd like to get off your chest?
Btw I have read your name as 'our vye all this time, thinking it was some sort of Coronation St kind of lingo like 'Our Violet'. Doh.
Oh dear. DP just in upstairs bathroom, flushed the loo, and ds who I thought was fast asleep shouted out "who flushed the toilet?? Mummy or Daddy?" He must have some of radar. Sigh.
Top notch expletive ouryve, might have to borrow that one myself if things keep up the way they've been recently. <whispers> I will admit to owning one very small black very unobtrusive cross body bag for those occasions when stuffing pockets just wouldn't give the right impression.
Tiredness, glad ds has had a good week. Ds1 has also been making powerpoint presentations this week, although he has been doing them at home, about Pokemon and adding
too many, too loud sound effects.
at mince pies. They are officially banned in this house until 1st December, although I will admit to having bought some hot-cross-buns for ds2 and dd from Tesco today.
Notactually and bialy, you may stay - but only if you have enough stacks and goodies to share stashed in those bags of yours.
Whatthe, I have a rather fetching purple onesie that dh bought me last christmas. I look a touch too much like Tinky Winky of Teletubby fame in it, but it's far too warm and comfy to care.
Star - liqueur porridge? I think I've missed summat somewhere?
Oh dear! "I think I'd better get my coat" I'm a bit of a handbag addict, I once had a Dolce and Gabbana (charity shop find) I think that it was probably a
Liquor porridge? I have definitely missed something! Not keen on porridge though, its the texture...gloopy, yet lumpy...maybe I'm not making it right.
Star sorry to hear about your uncle.
Hazey hope you all recover from the vomiting bug soon. They can be so debilitating.
Tiredness glad that Ds got on alright even with his class away. He may well enjoy secondary better. My Ds really blossomed once he started secondary, in spite of still having major issues.
What the sorry things are so hard for your Ds at the moment.
Sign good luck with the tidying, I'm not at all surprised you are still at it.
I had an MRI scan today to see if the cause of my funny muscle/sensations symptoms can be identified. TBH I'm not really expecting it to show anything and I am increasingly coming to the conclusion that they are due to sheer exhaustion over many years.
How has this thread turned into an anti-handbag rant? I always have a very small handbag to stop myself from carrying around loads of clutter, which I would if I allowed myself a large one. Trouble is, I have to de clutter it often, and put all the important crap 'in a safe place' which then goes missing for about a year. Are you getting a nice image of my housework skills?
Too many posts, just a few highlights.
Happy birthday for tomorrow Alison , you share your birthday with DS2. My DS3 saw We Will Rock You in June for their school trip as they did it for their KS2 show. He loved it but I was very jealous...
Sorry to hear about your uncle, Star. It wasn't that long ago you lost your dad. (((hugs)))
Whatthe, don't go venturing on AIBU in your onesie, you'll get short shrift.
moose you are welcome to share the contents of my current
actually it is Mulberry handbag:
various hair clips (dd)
scattered mouldy raisins (dd & ds)
several hundred old shopping lists & receipts
a few hair bands (dd)
the kind of unidentifiable bits of grot that always find their way there
used to be fags and lighter but not any more, sob, god i miss it
Anything there take your fancy? No cake or booze I'm afraid
Nah TimeTraveller, you can stay.
I love a bowl of porridge me, slow cooked with grated apple and a spoonful of cinnamon. It's creamy and smooth if you cook it right y'know.
NoHaudin, I hope the MRI yields some answers for you. Mine threw up more questions than answers and I'm back at square one now, having been dumped back onto annual neuro reviews because apparently I'm not likely to drop dead any minute, although if I do, I'm to go straight back.
My mum, who is extraordinarily scatter-brained, drives me insane, she carries around a small handbag inside a larger kind of tote bag (wtf?), and the first thing she does when she comes round is start unpacking everything. Then, because she is so infuriatingly vague, when she comes to leave she has the whole household (even little dd) searching for her car keys/glasses/phone/purse etc.
And if she stays overnight she will absolutely always leave reading glasses/make up bag/wash bag/kindle/random bag which carries one of the above.
bialy, I didn't really have mouldy raisins in mind.
You can share my Thorntons chocolates instead though, I've made myself feel a bit sick stuffing them on my own.
Mmm thanks moose. Goes nicely with the
bottle glass of wine.
<studiously ignores mentions of whatthe's onsie, shudder>
Moose sorry you're no further forward. It is frustrating to be unwell but have no answers. Your neurologist sounds a bit like the one I saw last. He told me I wasn't disabled by my symptoms. No I don't think not being able to walk more than a few yards without a stick or use my right arm properly is disabling. I am 53 after all what can I expect?
Inside my handbag I have a biro, a wallet, a badge made by smallest ds (says 'hard day at work', love him) and a lipgloss.
Next to me however, I have some lovely salted popcorn. <Passes>
Hi all. I'm not realty sulking that you ignored me first Friday thread. It's taken a long time to clean myself up after a messy day at work in which I dyed my skin(face, neck, arms and one boob!!!) blue, my hair green (blue on blonde hair) and my shoes grey with gloss floor paint
Apart from that it's been a thoroughly rubbish week as dh has started his new job and is never home when I'm awake.
But I see that it's better than some of your weeks . star sorry to hear about your uncle.
Can I also confess to an increasing appreciation for hand bags. I'm blaming it on me no longer looking nice in clothes so I am concentrating on accessories
NoHaudin, that's about the size of it. At one point they told me that in the absence of any other explanation my lesions were probably down to age - I was 35 at the time and the lesions weren't new. Then when I was referred back to her when things got worse last year and she stated categorically that I am still too young to have age related lesions, hence the lumbar puncture and evoked potential testing.
I have now been told that they can't do any more until I suffer another 'major event or episode' but their idea of major and mine seem to differ considerably.
Evening Lola, I must've missed your thread. Sorry.
Sounds like your week and mine have been very similar. Dh started his new job on Monday and I hardly see him now.
Your post has just made me consider the possibility of an oversized handbag to
cover up detract from all the weightgain I've had over the past couple of months. Maybe handbags do have their uses after all.
bs&b a lot of people do that with my name!
whatthe - I have a raspberry pink leopardprint top. DS1 calls it my wig top because he thinks the spots look like wigs!
And life is much calmer and less shouty now DS1 is in bed. He chilled out a bit to the 1970s music stuff on BBC4 before going up and was disappointed that I wouldn't let him stay up for the Jeff Lynne documentary.
I did get some lovely DS2 cuddles before he went up, though.
oooh - just seen a trailer for a BBC4 Big Science season. TV's going to get good, this week!
moose. The problem with over sized handbags is you carry around loads of utter CRAP (and do your back in in the process)
My lowlight was when I had to find something from it for my new boss and she questioned what I had in there. Apart from the usual papers, wipes, pens, tissues, sweet wrappers etc, I had a complete set of Teletubbies, an empty banana guard, an adjustable spanner and a sprouting potato
But they do detract from your overall size
pmsl at the contents of your bag lola
I had an allen key in my bag for a ridiculously long time.
My shoulders can't deal with those oversized jobbies. (And I have one i picked up cheap to use as a knitting bag and can get naff all in it, anyhow!)
I had to remove a set of wheels from a Thomas megasketcher from mine, yesterday. DS2 had given up on mixing his own letter magnets with the ones at school by then and decided to try something new. About the 4th time he dropped one on the ground so they all had to go on the ground before being picked up again, I confiscated them. Not just because we were running late, but because there was a really shitty bit of pavement coming up and I didn't fancy dealing with that!
So did my boss, still getting teased about it several months later
Moose, - meant to say - thank you for the love bomb tip/reminder. I think that is probably just what we need tbh.
I've got a timetable on the wall of little things that need to be completed for each child each day, - so I'll add that on.
A bit silly that I have to have a reward chart for myself for playing with my daughter but honestly, she's been put on hold whilst we sorted out ds, and now he is done, we have a 3.5month old that can get around - grrrr
I don't think it's silly at all. In fact I could do with doing one for myself. I tend to get to the end of the day, realise the dcs are in bed and I haven't done x, y and z even though it's popped into my head several times throughout the day.
Even things like making sure I read enough times with ds2 need to be stuck on a chart, because he's another one that's missed out while I/we've been focussing on ds1. Bless him, he just comes in, sits down and gets on with his homework while I am wrestling with ds1 to get him to start, stay on task and actually produce something that's worth handing in. I actually helped ds2 produce a couple of fact-sheets last week and suddenly realised how little involvement I've had in his work over the past couple of years, whereas ds1 has had tonnes of help from me. The thing is ds2 isn't naturally as academic as ds1, so in reality he probably needs my help more. But it's another case of 'he who shouts loudest ...' and all that, I guess.
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