Thanks Starlight. They are good suggestions. I am speaking to the community paed this week about the IEP and she is going to take advice from the Ed Psych too. I'm going to let school know that I've asked for advice on strategies.

Can you hide some of these things in his IEP?

i.e. aim 'independence',

targets 'to initiate communication by doing x, y and z (this is where you put 'hand in his communication book after break time)

Strategies/Activities: Prompt book handing in after break, with full prompt, partial prompt and then no prompt etc.

You go girl

I think you are right claw - you do have to have a hide of leather! I will stay with DS and do his list every day until he gets it as them chasing him and telling him will not help.

I am on a mission to educate by example!

Oh and you will be labelled as precious, over anxious and mollycoddling, but who cares, im not there to make friends!

Morning Debs40, its frustrating isnt it!

I think the thing to bear in mind is that most staff have no or very little SN knowledge or training, so they really dont understand. Even the SENCO although she may have training, she doesnt have training in EVERY SN, just general training, which doesnt help when dealing with individual SN. What is common sense and as plain as the nose on your face to you, is like double dutch to them!

I am learning, you have to be extremely specific and direct with what you want them to do.

I pick up DS this afternoon and he has come home, again, without his reading book. So, I go back into class (we hadn't left the playground when I thought to check). Teacher says - I did remind him to take it several times.

The whole point is that reminding him verbally will never be enough.

Then it turns out that he should have been handing in his homework book and that is why he hasn't been given any or had any marked for several weeks.

What is it that they can't understand? SALT has said it is best to try using visual prompts and schedules. We do and it works.

I've now prepared my own schedule for the morning routine and will have to ensure I work out something for homework too.

They seem to have this attitude that the boys are all like that in their class but they will eventually learn if they leave them to it.

But.....he's autistic. He needs them to help him.

God, do they need the Early Bird Plus scheme. I've asked consultant for some literature to pass on to them.

Good point Starlight. I do always praise them for their efforts. Probably in relation to DS more than anything. You can't always see past that! I also constantly acknowledge how mcuh they have to deal with.

I agree put everything in writing. They may well ignore things but when it comes to cranking up the pressure, you have 'evidence' that you tried to work in partnership etc but they weren't responding.

If you don't agree with a written document that they produce, make sure you respond in writing. Again, it might not make any difference to anything NOW, but it gives you a written recorded history when you decide you want to go 'out of county' for a better school or whatever later on.

I'm a pain, and they KNOW I won't go away, but I do take every opportunity to praise their efforts when they 'try', although I am careful not to concede anything. I'll also say things like 'what a peaceful classroom/lovely display/happy atmosphere' or some such other compliment (if it is of course, - I don't lie). It does no harm, makes you look like you have more awareness than just your child, and shows that you are not a constantly critical person.

Thanks Claw. I have to say they still ignore emails too sometimes!

One bit of good news is that I explained the school's view of her suggestions to the OT and she agreed to see him at her next available clinic so we should get progress there.

It's just so soul destroying and I think - if this was your kid - the teacher would be doing exactly the same but they don't seem to see that.

They're so wrapped in targets and paperwork, he's doing ok, so he's off their 'worry' list. As you say, this makes us seem a pain.

I tried to tell them yesterday that we're a year down the road ahead of them on this but I don't think they liked that