Yep Lingle, nursery 's opinion is a powerful factor i agree.
They do see our dc in a way we don't, for a start their judgment isn't impaired by the fear of admiting to ourselves that there is "something wrong" with our dc.

We had today yet another classic example of ds'reluctance/inabilty to interact with his peers. We were taking a nice walk and ds was playing his new found game of "what's that colour mummy?" for every single car he could spot (after 10 mins. it was getting rather annoying ), then this little boy about ds'age comes over and several times tried to engage friendly contact with ds who did notice him but chose to ignore him and carried on his constant car colours questioning!

I should have added by the way that nursery's opinion is a powerful factor here isn't it?

"So we will go along with it, if they all feel ds needs extra help then oviously his problems are not that mild while at nursery, DH and i have now taken on board that he has different behaviours and needs according to his environment (at home his difficulties appear milder)."

Well done you.

I too find this a really difficult period because of the language delay. You just don't know whether the child unveiled by speech development will still have serious social communication problems.

And an ASD dx might seem "wrong" for home (I was ganged up on again today by "friends" watching DS2 play a delightful game of musical chairs at a party telling me to ignore all those professionals....grrr)but could be useful for school.

My DS2's nursery is in the room next to the reception classroom and the nursery manager is a part of the foundation stage team so if any school ought to be able to manage a transition, it's mine. We are suddenly getting somewhere on the ability to answer questions and that could change everything.....

I completely agree with what Attila has said, particularly the

"You write that nothing is in place as of yet with regards to transition at school. I warn you now there won't be anything much worth writing home about unless you get yourself into gear!!!. Am sorry to sound so direct here and bloody minded grin but you cannot leave this solely to them."

It really will be down to you, I'm afraid, to keep pushing for what your ds needs.

And also, just to make you feel better, at the school where I teach, which is a mainstream state school, 64% of the children have SEN.

I think the national average is about 8%, so your ds's school is just above the national average.

Hi mysonben

Twelve percent eh - my son's school is 20% SEN but numbers are irrelevant really. Its what the school actually does to help these children with their additional needs that matters.

I would advise you to find out exactly what that policy of theirs is because it actually may be all fine words and IEPs (Individual Educational Plans) but no real action. It sounds to me like many of those children are either on School Action and or School Action Plus. Neither of these really amount to all that much in the great educational scheme of things. Anything other than a Statement is not legally binding either.

You write that nothing is in place as of yet with regards to transition at school. I warn you now there won't be anything much worth writing home about unless you get yourself into gear!!!. Am sorry to sound so direct here and bloody minded but you cannot leave this solely to them. Keeping asking them questions and keep up to date with what they are doing. You need the EP on side as well and once DS has been assessed you need to meet with the EP as well. She may well recommend to you verbally that your DS is statemented. The nursery would not be getting the EP in unless it was warranted.

DS is used to things at home and you can both accommodate him. It won't be like that at school though.

If you request a statutory assessment you as parents have far more power than school or nursery ever would in this situation. You can appeal in the event the LEA say no (this is not a right accorded to schools).

Am really glad that SENCO and nursery are on your side but you're also going to have to keep on top of it. That remaining year will go very fast and before you know it DS will be in Reception.

I checked out the infant school ds will be attending and i was surprised to discover that a massive 12% of the pupils have SN!!!

It seems a lot , doesn't it? The school has a good SN ppolicy in place , which is reassuring.

DS has another year at nursery , he doesn't start reception until sep.2010 due to him being born in november.
Nothing is in place as of yet with regards to transition at school.
I spoke to the nursery manageress on friday about statement and E.P.
She said SENCO wants EP to assess ds as it was difficult foe senco to get the whole picture on ds and some his behaviours..., also senco gave nursery staff instructions regarding ds 'stuggles to understand what's happening plus some activities , and the manageress says he needs 1 to 1 support and they need extra funding for that. She also pointed out we were"lucky" to be referred to EP, as she has seen children before struggle and being refused assessment.!!!???
So we will go along with it, if they all feel ds needs extra help then oviously his problems are not that mild while at nursery, DH and i have now taken on board that he has different behaviours and needs according to his environment (at home his difficulties appear milder).

lingle - I never applied in the end, because neither school nor ed psych nor even private SALT thought he would need one, so I didn't want to go down the road of shelling out for private ed psych report that might not have helped anyway. The lack of DX of course didn't help. I get the impression that my LEA is spectacularly tightfisted skint pressured. Statements seem to be rare as rocking horse poo round here - DS's school only has one or two statemented kids, another local school I looked round has none.

Total - yes the whole bloody problem is that people don't show them an unchanging picture of what's being discussed!

Total have you ever applied for a statement or did the lack of ASD diagnosis make it too hard to get?

Similar profile to Littlefish here, I agree totally with Littlefish's advice.

The sooner the better as Statements can take a long time to achieve. The school will then need to source the right person to work with your child. In our LEA a panel makes a decision on the level of need on consideration of the evidence presented.

The sooner he gets the support, the better for him.

I am a former reception teacher, deputy head and SENCO.

I really would recommend seeking a statement as soon as possible. As many others have said, the transition to school can be challenging for many children, but I can only imagine what it would be like for a child who finds social engagement difficult and who's language skills will not allow him to express his needs, concerns or wishes.

The Autumn term is the longest term - it's 1/3 of his Reception year. I would absolutely recommmend that you ask the nursery staff to start the process immediately, or you apply to the LEA yourself. Acquiring a statement can be a very long, drawn out process.

What arrangements have the school and nursery put in place to support his transition. Ideally, he should have someone with him from nursery for the first few weeks at least.

well from reading your recent post with your ds and sensory issues a statement would enable extra help at school for the TA to recognise his sensory needs and act accordingly i think from other posts you have done about your ds it definitely would benefit you to get formal dx and a statement his needs are not mild in some areas and he will need extra help and would be a shame for him to go in without the understanding and extra help for his needs

my ds is awaiting ot test but on SALT test he was within range for understanding speech communication skills are delayed and behind peers, can be unintelligible due to lack of speech sounds and feel he would not reach curriculum and as peers progress and language expectations do he will fall behind

our ed psych was useless

Lingle - Wechsler is one of the tests that Ed pyschs can use. A lot of Ed Pyschs employed by the LEA only run half the test (if any formal test at all). We paid a private Ed Pysch to conduct this and many other tests.

I wholeheartedly agree with your SALT being dubious about the value of formal assessments. In my DS's case I think they artificially boost his scores; DS is very visual, so loves looking at pictures. On one assessment last year, the SALT got through it in one session - which was unusual, as kids normally need two sessions as they get understandably get fed up! I have a problem with the use of pictures in general for asessing language - as day to day conversation, and I imagine as kids get older, teaching, isn't going to have that visual support

Interesting. Do you know what kind of cognitive skills.
We haven't seen an ed.psych.

The formal tests that a EP can conduct do actually give you a very good insight into your child's strengths and weaknesses. They also reveal whether your child's results follow the sort of recognised profiles for certain condiations such as ASD. For instance my son scored very highly on numeracy, language, spelling, systemising etc but when it came to cognitive tests his score was low. That followed the typical Aspergers profile and enabled us to recognise that he would need proactive teaching of cognitive skills.

The formal tests that a EP can conduct do actually give you a very good insight into your child's strengths and weaknesses. They also reveal whether your child's results follow the sort of recognised profiles for certain condiations such as ASD. For instance my son scored very highly on numeracy, language, spelling, systemising etc but when it came to cognitive tests his score was low. That followed the typical Aspergers profile and enabled us to recognise that he would need proactive teaching of cognitive skills.

My DS had formal tests for both receptive/expressive language, and for OT. The SALT one merely showed that he was completely within range for his age, although I do agree with lingle that the test is probably one of those that can trigger 'artificial' results. DS probably quite enjoyed that particular test and therefore scored well on it . Although having said that he genuinely doesn't have a language problem and we would agree with that, the comment the SALT made was that his skills 'can be functionally reduced by issues with concentration' or something like that, and we would agree with that too!

The OT one was however really useful for us because it assessed both his visual processing skills and motor co-ordination skills and absolutely highlighted the issues we'd already suspected, therefore triggering the help. For example for visual processing (i.e. ability to look at something and take information in and describe it etc) he was on the 87th%ile. For motor co-ordination (i.e. ability to actually copy something down) he was below the 1st%ile. Hence the OT sessions he was then booked on to.

I can't comment on ed psych because he hasn't been assessed by them yet but would imagine the assessments would be along similar lines...

that sounds about how my salt put it. A necessary evil to get a statement. Not necessary at all for gauging the language level if you are an experienced specialist SALT.

I can't comment on ed psych or OT tests though.

I don't think the formal tests give you any fantastic insight into your own child but are a necessary evil for ultimately getting a child the help they need.

I really fear for children (and parents) in the future if all LEAs continue with devolving the SEN budgets directly to the schools and trying to abolish statements. I really wouldn't have confidence that schools would manage this correctly.

Have people found that standardised tests give them a fuller or more accurate insight into their child than more informal assessments? My SALT is not interested at all in doing standardised language tests - she sees them as something you do in order to tick the boxes for a statement, not something she does in order to learn about the child. I dont' agree with her on everything but she conviced me on this one. She explained that on the one hand the tests don't reflect the difficulties capturing fast informal speech which makes the "result" artificially high in one way; yet on the other hand they follow a rigid order that you cannot deviate from so the child gets bored and underperforms on the more formal language elements because they are tired of looking at the pictures so the result is artificially "low" in another way.

The EP does various tests and compares your child with 100 of his peers. It is a long time since my daughter had this initial assessment but the EP showed some pictures etc and she had to describe them, that kind of thing.

Obtaining a statement can be a long process and having lots of time to get independent advice on it is vital IME.

WetAugust, it is such a minefield for parents. Some HTs give out such crap advice to parents with regard to their rights. My friend has a child who is now being assessed in year7 but who has missed out on so much help.

Hi Mysonben

Your last post said it all

Quote "It's just a bit frustrating when all the people involved all agree that yes ds is not 'average', but don't all share the same opinions as to what is wrong or where the problem comes from, iyswim? "

And that's exactly why i said last night that you should seek a Statement. All the people involved would then have to put their thoughts in writing and that would lead to a full identification of all his problems, coupled with an assessment of what support should be delivered and (if written into a Statement it would be legally binding on the LEA to deliver it).

I really do wish you and the others that have not yet taken this step the very best of luck in trying to obtain suffieicent support and understanding in the educational setting.

Ultimately, regardless of your wishes or those of your DH, if the school consider they cannot provide sufficient support from within their delegated funding and that he would benefit from a Statement, then the decision will be taken out of your hands and school will apply for a Statement itself.

Well, that's the theory - but as I mentioned before many LEAs do not encourage applications from schools so schools can be reluctant to apply and your child could be left struggling unsupported - that's what you need to be very wary of. Don't think that just because school doesn't apply then a Statement is not needed.

Yes my own experiences have very much coloured my views on this subject. I'd have bitten off the hand that offered an early dx for my son. You wouldn't refuse a plaster cast for a child with a broken leg - why refuse to seek the help a Statement coudl deliver for a child with a 'hidden' problem.

Best wishes

Vig13- what od you mean by "which centile he falls on the different tasks"? Is it like a grading of some sort of his play, social skills, behaviours,...
Could you explain please. Has your dc had that done? Thanks

mysonben,

The EP will assess your son and see which centile he falls on in the different tasks. She will make suggestions about his school and should listen to your thoughts too.

Thanks you all for your numerous replies to my thread, it really helps to get lots of opinions and advice.

Attila- yes i had it in my mind that the E.P was going to do a formal dx without our agreement shows how silly and paranoid i can get
So it will be intersting to see what she will do for ds in terms of help and statement?, i guess if she joins along with ds'teacher in saying he will need extra support for sure, then we will have to listen and DH will have to play ball in the end.

It's just a bit frustrating when all the people involved all agree that yes ds is not 'average', but don't all share the same opinions as to what is wrong or where the problem comes from, iyswim?

Hi mysonben

The Ed Pysch will not be able to make any formal diagnosis (they are not qualified to do that particular role) but will give recommendations regarding his schooling. She may well recommend to the LEA that he has a statement for starting school. The EP is important to have on your side as this person is often instrumental in getting the LEA to decide whether or not to do a Statement. These people have clout!.

The SALT cannot make any formal diagnosis; the DX is down to the Paediatrician ultimately.

mysonben

i feel the same as your dh - i still hope my son will catch up/be same as peers despite evidence to contrary. but even if we're right the early intervention won't hurt and our kids are too young to feel labelled or singled out.

think you need to gently nudge your dh - i do sympathise with him tho.

Lingle- Yes the nursery is a state run and is connected to the infant school on the same grounds ,different building. So it will help i suppose.

The trouble is because ds has such bad speech issue , dh looks at the problems and think most of it is speech related.
(It doesn't help with the area senco saying it is difficult at this stage to assess whether the behaviours like screaming for no or little apparent reason at nursery could be caused by sheer frustration due to his poor communication! )
Ok it is bound to have an impact on his socialising but speech doesn'r explain everything does it!

Now the senco has referred ds to an E.P .
I must speak again to ds' teacher as i'm unsure as to why that is .

At the moment i get the feeling not everyone agrees completely as to what the problem is with ds.

The paed : "mild" ASD + speech issue that do not help so she is doing a bit of 'let's wait and see how he will cope in the next few months when his speech improves.

The nursery staff : Some "odd" behaviours with routines, not much direct interaction with his peers, doesn't focus well on tasks unless it's of his interests, limited social skills.

The first SENCO : Again some behaviours that would suggest asd.

The second SENCO : Some behaviours like screaming and parralel play but no interactive play with others. Could be due to speech issues , unsure!?? Wants ds to see E.P.

SALT: has not agreed or disagreed with paed about asd , but says he has specific language impairment / semantic-prag. problems.

DH: Big speech issues, a bit odd at times ! DH hasn't made his mind up yet it seems.

Me : Yes ds is different , difficult at times with routines or rituals, speech is a big issue, but since the paed said ASD i looked up and tried to understand why she had said asd , and yes i agree ds does present with some symptoms/signs .

So now we are going to have yet another opinion soon or later by the E.P , what will she/he say...?

Hi amberflower

I would not disagree with any of what you have written. However, I would still stand by my premise that burying the head in the sand in a figurative sense does not do children with additional needs any favours whatsoever particularly when it comes to them attending school. There are many written and unwritten rules there with regards to the social side of things. And that does not just apply to the parents either. Any "difference" beyond their norm is noticed by other children and not all reception kids by any means act all nice and tolerant towards each other.

All I would ask of parents of much younger children (and my son is now in Junior school) is to bear in mind what sort of things can go wrong if their additional support needs are not fully met.

My post was written as a warning (and nothing else should be read into it) as to what can go wrong. I have seen it at first hand with both my son and others; I DO NOT want anyone to go through what I did during reception year because it was hell on
earth. The waggling finger at hometime directed at me by his teacher, the looks of pity from the other parents; its not nice to say the very least. As it was DH and I applied for his Statement that year and got it after some struggles. I am SO GLAD that we got that Statement; its done a power of good for him.

No-one else is better placed than the parents to act for their child's educational rights. As I keep saying you are your child's best - and only - advocate. You are their voice.

With best wishes

Attila

Well said amberflower

WetAugust, I feel for you and your son, that must be so desperately hard and I completely see why you are as passionate about the subject as you are. I see where both you and Attila are coming from. At the end of the day the interests of the child are paramount.

That said though I have huge sympathy and empathy with mysonben and her DH. For both her family and mine I think the DX is still very new and very raw; when it comes as a shock - for us we literally had no idea - it takes a little time to process everything in your mind and come round to working out what might be best and realise that your child hasn't changed, their needs are just going to be a bit different to what you thought they'd be when they were born.

So whilst I agree in principle with a lot of what has been said here I find the vehemence towards mysonben's DH a little unnerving; I suspect an awful lot of parents would have a similar reaction. I certainly did. Just because someone does not welcome a DX with open arms does not make them a bad parent, simply one who is in shock and needs time to get their head around things. And everyone needs to find a way of dealing with their situation and of course there is always going to be an element of shock, grief, disappointment, embarrassment, guilt, worry etc etc before you work your way through things in your mind.

But having said that we all come at this from different perspectives, and of course the perspective of someone with a much older child - who has either watched their miserable struggle due to lack of help OR witnessed fantastic progress because of it - is going to be far more realistic and pragmatic about the situation than those of us with pre-school or Reception age children. You are more experienced parents than we are, you have seen how the education system works (or doesn't ) and therefore have the benefit of hindsight. I can understand your frustration with the kind of ramblings we might come out with, but at the moment, we don't have the benefit of your experience, and that's part of what makes it so hard.

I guess what I am trying to say is I do think what has been said is right and the posts written with the best of intentions, but how parents and families feel about things and their individual emotions are all valid issues and shouldn't just be dismissed with 'well you need to get over it' kind of comments. We probably do - but it's not easy.

Is the nursery a state nursery mysonben? I am just wondering what degree of liaison you could get between nursery and school as that kind of communication could be really important.

Also, do you have a relationship with the school yet? Any older children there/ideas about the head? This would all be good groundwork.

Hi for what it's worth I'm a primary school teacher - ages 4-11. If a child needs extra help it is far better for them to have a statement and the help and support it proivides for them.Although class teachers are trained to deal with special needs the teaching assistant assigned to your dc will have far more knowledge of the specific issues and far more time to devote to them. In my experience children whose parents have allowed them to be statemented have fared better in a mainstream class as they have the support they need. A statement is not given lightly by the school or the LA as it is expensive so if they feel you need it imo you should take it. The statement will be reviewed regularly so not a 'label' for life. Good luck x

His teacher and senco say he is awkward socially , he wants to interact with others but doesn't always know how to and go about it in the wrong way ,so he wil approach and make a lot of shouting vocal stims instead of saying 'hello i want to play!', or he go along with the others and observe them a lot, copies their gestures and sounds, he hates been crowded and shouts 'go away' a lot , he snatches toys and things and stares or laughs when the other kids complain or cry. HE is very possessive of things , cannot share. When in sitting activities he loses interest very quickly , he is very 'spacey' into his own bubble and loses track of what is expected of him, he is difficult to engage into a diversity of activities ,he is very selective of activities and prefers to play alone with cars and trains,...
He has much difficulties expressing himself and understanding what is said to him and his speech is very hard to understand too ( doesn't say his consonants , everything is 'n')
THis is what ds 'behaviours are like at nursery. But on a positive side he improves on all aspects when the nursery isn't so busy , ie : the smaller the group the better he is. Obviously if he still acts like this when he starts school then it will be hard for him.

mysonben

You must apply for the Statement and as soon as possible. I feel strongly about this because sticking head in sand does no-one any favours at all.

I agree with the premise of WetAugust's recent post.

Your son when in reception will likely be in a class of between 28 and 30. He won't be in a small group and certainly won't get any 1 to 1 without a Statement being in place. It is even doubtful whether SALT would continue without a Statement. Even with a Statement you may have to reject drafts and fight long and hard to get such provision. Without adequate support he will start failing.

If your son goes into Reception without a Statement that house of cards will come crashing down around you. It will be completely miserable time for you all and your son will become increasingly frustrated and angry at you out of school because he can just about cope within it. School is not just academic, its social as well and there are rules both written and unwritten.

You are your child's best and only advocates. No-one else is going to fight for his additional educational needs as well as you can - and should.

oh and now helps at tidy up time in stead of running in circles does not help all the time but would never do it at all before he'd hide somewhere as it was group thing and this bothered him now his social and interaction skills have come along with help he now mingles in and helps he doesnt stand out so bad now and other children are taking notice of him and liking him

i should say ds always played alongside other children had no idea how to talk or play with them so would be the only one just standing and watching

everyone else could understand group instruction he had no idea it included him now he is able to follow small group instruction

now verbally put forward some of his needs would become frustrated and unsure how to do this before all the help

can now use children's names couldn't care less before had no desire to call there names activities were done daily him and 2 children all turn taking and prompted to use there names now he knows there names and has used them to call other children

shares lovely now used timer technique bubbla boy gets finds sam gets 5 as soon as ds knew it was his turn next his ability to share has been great

now say good morning unprompted more and goodbye

this was boy that went in not speaking to anyone apart from adult on his own term played on his own term and alone now plays with and alongside other children follows pre school routine with help of now and next

shares uses children name to get there attention speaks more with hello and goodmorning and goodbye walks with head up and no longer with head down and eye contact has improved hugely

my dp took a good 6 mths to accept and still i think he doesn't really but his stopped saying he can be taught out of it to people i keep saying we don't know that we cant tell people he'll be ok he'll be taught out of it as we don't know his full struggles as yet when it comes to school

even with dp not wanting to believe it he always trusted i knew what ds needed as i do 90% of the care deal with pre school etc and has been 100% behind me on getting bubbla boy any help needed

give dh time but don't agree on saying he might not need it etc just at the moment he does need extra help other wise he'll take it that the help isn't needed and will keep dismissing the idea

ive read many of your posts with ds behaviour and it doesn't just go away and will need extra help yes its mild but yes its ASD and socially he will need help to interact as others do and getting them from not working to own agenda was long haul and not acceptable in school

i think your doing fab job but do make sure you really sit and talk to rpe school ask how it affect him how is he with other children this has also been long haul to help ds interact with other children

all these things are huge when starting school and will get worse if not worked on now

just weigh it up with all the right info really ask how its affecting him where they see his extra help is needed what does he do in day is it all own agenda does he play with other children

also atypical speech is a problem to enter school without statement saying SALT my ds wont be able to have help working on his speech sounds im not willing again to allow this as his progress has been slow 12 weeks to get one sound

but also will allow his TA to help him be understood by others and will keep him interacting and socialising with them

in few years maybe you could say to dh if all the help comes now and all behaviour is learnt and worked on in few years may need no help at all as his ability to learn it all will grow as he does but also the other problem ds is near on at peers level now but speech wise in a yr if still hasnt improved hugely his going to stand out so much more than his peers this will need him having extra help

<sighs>

I'm sorry to hear that your son didn't get the care he needed, WetAugust, really I am. I can feel how passionate you are on this subject and I respect that - I am passionate on two particular ethical issues myself and when people disagree it is hard not to scream.

Every child is different though (my family would have benefited from an Aspergers diagnosis for my brother, I believe, whereas a diagnosis for my DS1 would have been the wrong move), and every good father deserves to be listened to with respect.

i agree with mild i was told at the milder end etc yet his struggles socially and working on own terms were the biggest things to try and help him with before school his speech has come along great he'll talk to adults has no idea how to interract with children without the help im not willing to send him to school standing out so much from peers being a loner etc

yes his ASD is mild but asd is social communication disorder mild or not you see your ds has this and it doesnt clear itself up unfortunately with speech came alot of understanding but still inability to know how to interact that is ASD it doesnt come natural i think for any child to be to the best they can no help is too much help if it means they can function better working to own agenda is not accepted in school pre school have had to work so hard to get ds working to there agenda

all original problems are now gradually reducing but left alone they wouldnt as he has to learn all behaviour

Mysonben: The problem is that until you've had the full multi-disciplinary assessment of your son's needs that is undertaken as part of the 'Statementig process' then you can only guess what exactly your son's needs are.

@Mild' you will find is a term often bandied by 'professionals' to decsribe ASD. My own son was described as 'mild' and compared to a child with Kanners he probably is. But it's not al about Speech and Language, it's a hidden condition that manifests itself in many ways that you've probbaly never considered.

He may be getting SALT etc now - but did you know that SALT can be withdrawn at any time unless it is written into a statement the LEA is under no obligation to provide it?

I had an ex-DH who struggled to accept his son's dx. He thought it was akin to having a common cold -leave it a few weeks and he'll be better. He completely failed to acknowledge that it was a life-long condition (albeit) one where the difficulties could be alleviated by early intervention. Then he read Tony Attwoods's book and had his light-bulb momment. Not only did he 'admit' that his DS had Aspergers but also recognised the same indictors in himself. In fact it was probably his own Aspergers that prevented him from seeing the same condition in his son. You mentioned that you thought your younger brother may have had this when he was younger. That's something a Paed should have asked you - do you have any family members with strange / eccentric behaviour. It's an indictor that they lok for.

I stand by my advice that to delay seeking a Statement is to delay the time when you have a full assesment of your son's difficulties and what he requires to overcome them.

But I suppose your son is young enough to receive the help he needs. Mine failed to be dx'd during the dark ages when it had only just been accepted into the DSM IV.

Best wishes

My ds sounds v. similar to your ds and is 3y8m. Visited the school that he should be going to today (say should as over subscribed and we live some distance away). It hit me what a different place it is from his cosy nursery.

He has been given a verbal dx of asperger/HFA (if infact any difference). I am trying to get a formal dx, so i can apply for funding. He enjoys nursery, but you can see that he struggles in forming friendships, has difficulties in certain areas, sounds are a huge problem, the help that amberflower described would help enormously.

Spoke to the school, and the head suggested getting a statement before coming would be a better course of action. And I would prefer this route although i think i might have a battle on my hands. But the impression i get is that live get difficult from 7-9y onwards and if no support provided things quickly unravel. He deserves the best he can get he is such a wonderful happy chappy.

I have applied for a little bit of support at the nursery, and they have been great already and you can see the changes in ds already, so i think it can only be a good thing. Am doing it without the dh input as although he does not disagree his just not prepared to get actively engaged.

Getting a dx does not change your son, but can change the support he might need to equip him with the tools to survive school.

To meet my ds at the mom, I do not think people would believe me that he is autistic, that what will make it so hard. My dad is asperger, that's why I am fighting for it (my dad does not know he is, but he is pretty classic).

sorry sounds like a rant, but i just feel passionately about early intervention.

Wetaugust- That 's a very strong post you wrote there. I can understand your point with regards to your boy.
I think Lingle was trying to say some parent (like my DH) have a harder time getting their head round with the SN issues of their child. It's only been 10 weeks since we have found out where the problems with ds lies ie: ASD. The first month Yes DH did bury his head in the sand up to his armpits but he is coming round slowly , i think he is scared and that's his way of dealing with things.
Regarding the statement we both feel that we want to wait until xmas , just a few more months to see how ds can cope a bit better in a few months once his speech will have improved a little more (hopefully!) i mean his problems with his ASD are mild , no major behaviours , sensory, sociable on his own terms! but thee issue with his speech is huge so it is bound to have an impact on his social skills , iykwim?
Besides he doesn't start reception until sep.2010 and he is happy at nursery for now anyway.
DH will go along with a formal dx and/or a statement as long as ds needs it and benefit from it. I think it' fair as not all children with asd or other SN have all the same needs anyway.

Jeez - Excuse me but i am really sruggling with some of the rubbish on here quote "If applying for a dx / statement now could estrange your DH from his son then maybe give him a few more months bfore to take a joint decision"

What sort of DH are we discussing here because it sounds to me as though it's one who is totally in denial and unable to accept that his DS may not be 'perfect'.

Why should a book be more acceptable if it's "not just for kids with ASD". it makes ASD sound like some form of deadly illness / contagion! What sort of father is he if seeking a dx could estange him from his son? I find that quite outrageous! It's like saying his son is no longer 'perfect' so he will reject him!!!

All the DH is doing is delaying the ineviatable. If the child needs a Statement then failing to apply for an assessment for one is failing that child and that is educational negligence. That's why the Govt places a responsibility on schools / LEAs to IDENTIFY, assess and support SENs. Of course schools don't always do that because their masters are the LEA, and the LEA wants to spend as little as possible funding SENs so doesn't take kindly to schools actually approaching them with requests for assessment that may prove very expensive to the LEA.

In effect the LEA is the judge (does he need a Statement?) jury (how severe are his needs?) and executioner (funder). So SENs get overlooked by schols in order to spare their masters in the LEA the cost of Statements. So I would have very little confidence in any Head who told me that she couldn't understand why you would want a Statement.

And that's why Education law also gives the parents the right to apply directly to an LEA for an assessment of the need for a possible Statement.

Unfortunately the DH can stick his head in the sand up to his armpits but it won't change the fact that if your child is displaying difficuties for which he is not receiving the correct level of support because DH is in denial, or your child is the odd-ball in the playground bullied by other kids because of his obvious eccentricities and who has not been proactively taught the coping strategies he needs to deflect this negative bahviour, because DH would rather not accept there may be a problem - the whole situation will start to unravel very quickly at school.

And the longer you leave it the worse problems you are inflicting on that child.

I am still dealing with the fall-out caused to my son by a school and LEA who shirked their duty to my son. Their educational negligence caused him to be admitted to a psychaitric unit in his teens completely broken by bullying and a failure to identify and support his SENs. That's why I am so vehement on this subject. Had my son had the benefit of early intervention he may have had a very different outcome to the one he now faces with very litte prospect of indepndnece and still under psychiatric care in adulthood.

So DH should swallow his pride, admit his super sperm may not be all he thinks they're cracked up to me and start fulfilling his parental duty to his child.

Yes we have decided to wait until that next review with the paed in october, no need to run ahead until we have seen her again.

It is so hard at time with ds 'speech , when we try to get him to have a conversation with us using words we know he knows and we get nowhere! He just cannot engage in a 2 way conversation , it's almost as if he lacks the imagination of coming up with a reply!

It's really the next step up from "More than Words". I think your DH would find it acceptable as it says in the preface that it is not just for kids with ASD. I'm thinking it could help your DH stay with that feeling of closeness to his son if he had a sense of "I can do this to help him in the privacy of our own home".

A father's relationship with his son seems colour the whole of the son's life. If applying for a dx/statement now could estrange your DH from his son, then maybe give him a few more months before you take a joint decision?

Lingle- Is the "talkability" book the next step up from 'it takes two to talk" book?

Mysonben, sc13 has lent me the Hanen "Talkability" book and from the descriptions of the issues at nursery it sounds like it could be very useful for you/your DH to read and for your DH to work through with your son as he develops over the next few years.

Interesting to see your list of inputs Amberflower. We are on school action plus as well.

It's worth noting that if he finds it hard to 'fit' in when little...it is likely to get harder as his peers social interactions become more subtle as they get older.

Ds actually didn't really stand out much at all at 4 ... but by 7/8 he very much did.

oh and ds is maths whizz his 4 and can do 10 plus 10 and obviously numbers lower

i am heard saying at times saying its at the milder end when you see some facial expressions of mention of autism i do try to stop myself now though

x post with you there

dp was like this and kept telling everyone that he can be taught out of it if only it was that easy

but now he agrees that we don't know how he'll be in years to come but we shall give him all help needed to be able to be independent again ds isn't completely obvious but we accept him for him and want all help to make sure bubbla boy doesn't fall behind his peers to much and can fit in when starting school his blending better now and its only happened from the extra support

we know his mild compared to some children but his not without his struggles and he can with help over come or manage them better and for him thats great his more at ease he is able to learn and interract and be more social communicate his needs the improvements made is fab

we did the whole its only mild to everyone when we couldn't accept that he was autistic still doubting it etc but now we just say he has autism he is who he is and im not ashamed of that and we've seen the progress made by him and again wouldn't have happened without the help

just give your dh time took my dp a good yr to fully accept he hasn't told any of his friends etc he doesn't like admitting it but his not ashamed just finds it hard

Bubblagirl - ds had a verbal dx followed by a written report of his behaviours,... the report mention ASD and a review in the autumn to discuss the need for an autistic assement for a formal dx.
I think the paed said 'mild' because she couldn't/wouldn't say HFA or another more specific dx at that moment in time.
She did say ds is on the very able end of the spectrum. ( not that he is a genius though! ) i think she meant he can fonction relatively well without too much support.

A quick word about DH . I think men have a harder time fully accepting and understanding the SN of our children
DH has come a long way since april , when he was sooo angry with the paed for even saying the "A" word !!! He wouldn't hear it or say it Autism was a tabbo word for him. Now he can and will talk and listen and agree that ds does show some symptoms/signs that indicate the autistic spectrum. So that's big progress for DH ! I think that DH is scared by it all , he is scared of the 'label' and of what it means for ds and his future. He said to me not long ago' i still hope that one day ds will be just 'normal' ...maybe i'm in denial!'
DH is ex-army and doesn't look at differences with an open mind , he likes 'conformity and the norme'

we started our statement process in dec ready for the sept

your ds just sound so like mine when you describe him ds uses g and k in place of start and end of word gaggy, nunny,

i think all help even if needs minimum hours will help ensure that some support is there to help settle to new routine etc my ds can cope outside of pre school in school setting he falls to pieces too much going on doesn't know what to do will play and interact with children on 1-1 basis the larger the group he clams up and backs off

i was only asking about mild ASD as ds is HFA didnt know if this was mild or different iyswim didnt know if there was such a thing as just mild and how the child was to get that dx ds is at the milder end of spectrum in ways of learning and understanding but socially really affected so i want all the help possible so the improvements made will continue

Thank you so much ladies . lots of advice here.

I think what we see of ds' behaviours here at home is a different ball game at nursery.
His teacher and senco say he is awkward socially , he wants to interact with others but doesn't always know how to and go about it in the wrong way ,so he wil approach and make a lot of shouting vocal stims instead of saying 'hello i want to play!', or he go along with the others and observe them a lot, copies their gestures and sounds, he hates been crowded and shouts 'go away' a lot , he snatches toys and things and stares or laughs when the other kids complain or cry. HE is very possessive of things , cannot share. When in sitting activities he loses interest very quickly , he is very 'spacey' into his own bubble and loses track of what is expected of him, he is difficult to engage into a diversity of activities ,he is very selective of activities and prefers to play alone with cars and trains,...
He has much difficulties expressing himself and understanding what is said to him and his speech is very hard to understand too ( doesn't say his consonants , everything is 'n')
THis is what ds 'behaviours are like at nursery. But on a positive side he improves on all aspects when the nursery isn't so busy , ie : the smaller the group the better he is. Obviously if he still acts like this when he starts school then it will be hard for him.

Lingle- yes what is exactly 'early intervention'??? It woudn't hurt to find out.

Bubblagirl- in my eyes 'mild' asd for my ds means that he can talk and understand language (level of a 2 1/2 y old approx. he is 3y 8 m), he is sociable to a certain extent like he will have joint attention with adults for short periods, and interact with his peers but following his own agenda , he shows some flexibility for his rituals and routines which aren't many anyway, he has few bad behaviours issues , no biting, ... the same goes for sensory issues apart from hypersensitive to certain noises where he will cover his ears and get upset ,and a couple of touch and food issues it's not too bad in that area.
He struggles most in busy , noisy , large groups , when he is not sure what is expected of him so he withdrawn and loses the eye contact. And finally he does show affection but not overly kisses or does bear like hugs.

I have observed him before at nursery and i left heart broken with a ball in my throat and stomach , because although he was happy there i could see how different he was on many aspects , comparison to his peers is the biggest eye opener i think! I will push DH to go and watch him there , that will 'speak ' to him better than any book could i think.

So yes he is a bit odd at times and ok he is speech delayed and doesn't mix in the same way as other kids do but it isn't in your face , the OMG! there is something terribly wrong with that child IYSWIM? It's more like a lot of little things that when you string them together show that he is not your average NT kid.

I think we will still want to wait until after xmas to take a final decision regarding statementing, he doesn't start reception for another year. We just want to give him a chance for a bit longer to see if he can improve and cope better at nursery in the new term after summer.

Phewww a long post!

Hi Amberflower,

Re your comment:-

"However I should say that DS is NOT statemented - he's on school action plus - and school have said he doesn't need a statement and in their opinion never will need a statement because he will never require full time 1-1. Now obviously this may well just be the rule of the LEA we fall under - I am sure I've read about others who have statements for less than fulltime 1-1 help".

Don't buy what the school says here!. Its not down to them to determine whether he needs a statement or not. My son has a statement and he does not have full time one to one at all. Also such blanket policies like this are illegal and the LEAs cannot plead ignorance of the law here. School Action plus unlike a Statement is not legally binding and the goalposts can change very easily.

SALT can and should be included also in Part 2 as well as 3 in the Statement document.

I should add that ds is not statemented either. He has a formal dx and funding for 15 hours per week.

Hi mysonben

This is a really difficult one...I sympathise hugely. I have had concerns about my DS's ASD DX as you may be aware from my other posts. As others have said it is a decision only you and DH can make, but it is a hard one, particularly when the needs are not so extreme that they are immediately obvious and 'visible'.

I have a similar situation to you in that we have no issues with DS outside of school - probably similar to bubblagirl too in that respect - never felt he was in any way 'different', all milestones hit, no language, sleep or behavioural problems, no ritualistic behaviour, shy with new people but no real issues with socialisation, no more food fussiness than the average 4 year old, doesn't always seem to listen to what you say but no more so than his peers do with their parents, is affectionate and loving and articulate and happy, etc etc etc etc....

So you look at this child you have known from birth, and then you listen to what education professionals are telling you, and then you kind of go 'are we talking about the same child here?' When it's not 'clear cut' as such you can't helping wondering - will we do more harm than good by accepting DX and applying for statement? Because although I completely agree, the DX is a really good thing if it gets them any help they need, it is hard not to feel that it's a double edged sword. It IS a signpost to getting help - of course it is, and that is how you have to think about it - but you still worry about accepting a 'label' and whether that might affect your child in an adverse (as well as a positive) way. There's nothing wrong with that, you're only human.

BUT at the same time the ONLY real issue here is your child, and his needs, and whether he is going to struggle at school (which after all is going to be a huge part of his life for the rest of his childhood). So if the help is going to be of benefit...and you can see where his nursery are coming from...it might be worth applying for the statement. From what I can gather it seems to be a long and painful process and maybe the earlier you get started the better?

Also, at the end of the day, you don't have to tell anyone what you are doing; it's a matter for you and DH to decide on DS's behalf, and to be honest if issues only affect him at school then only school need to know!

For us we have accepted, like bubblagirl, that our DS is struggling at school in a way he just doesn't at home or in other settings such as his swimming lessons or in the park or softplay and so on. I go into his class once a week as a mum helper, and I do see where his teachers are coming from - he is far less confident and relaxed than he is outside of school, he's not finding school life particularly easy, he IS struggling massively with fine motor stuff and in a more minor way with concentration and peer relationships. Therefore, I can absolutely see that he will benefit from additional support, and so whilst we are requesting a second opinion on the ASD DX we have made it very very clear to all the professionals involved that we do see that DS has some individual needs and we have stressed how grateful we are for the proposed help for him.

Lingle made the point about what help does actually materialise from this magical 'early intervention' buzzword? Well, your DS sounds very, VERY similar to mine at nursery, from what you describe in your first post, and this is the help he is now getting in reception following his formal assessment and DX:

* 5 x 45 minute sessions of external OT where he basically practises pencil grip, scissor cutting and concentration skills - not rocket science but has helped massively with his self esteem and I can already see an improvement after just 3 of those 5 sessions

* 1 x 20 minute OT session per week within school (run by SENCO) again practising fine motor and concentration skills with others in Reception year

* he has a special cushion to sit on during carpet sessions and a 'fiddle toy' to help him concentrate during those sessions

* he has visual 'cue cards' to help him decide on activities during 'choosing' times - he really struggled with the 'free flow' aspect of reception and tended to wander about aimlessly during in-class free play sessions, although both class teacher and SENCO think he will be a lot happier in Y1 which is more structured

* a SALT will visit the school to advise on socialisation skills training but from what I gather from SENCO he won't get regular external SALT as such -when he was formally assessed his expressive/receptive language skills were within the normal range for age. But the SALT will advise the SENCO on strategies and DS will most likely participate in a school-run group for children who struggle a bit socially for whatever reason - lots of games etc to help them learn how to participate happily in the social side of school life, making friends etc

* following the DX I put DS on the 'eye-q' strawberry chew fish oil supplements - and I have to say within two weeks of doing this his teacher was enthusing about the huge improvement in his concentration skills! So I am definitely a converted fan of those

* depending on how fine motor and concentration skills improve the school might apply for funding for 5 hours per week 1-1 support for DS for Y1, basically for literacy - story writing and so on. At this stage this is very much a MIGHT, and depends how things go, but obviously with the assessment done the school are more likely to get the funding if it transpires they need it.

However I should say that DS is NOT statemented - he's on school action plus - and school have said he doesn't need a statement and in their opinion never will need a statement because he will never require full time 1-1. Now obviously this may well just be the rule of the LEA we fall under - I am sure I've read about others who have statements for less than fulltime 1-1 help. So if your nursery are recommending statement for your DS, that could just be the way your LEA does things.

Blimey this is a long post....apologies.... but I hope it helps in terms of showing you the kind of help that your DS might get...and also to help you feel that you are not the only one feeling uneasy with a DX when the issues are not vividly apparent to you as parents. Good luck.

mysonben,

I would start the statementing process as soon as possible too for the reasons that have been described. Difficulties that may seem mild now may seem less so in a school environment and the nursery believe he will need extra support.

Your son receives SALT now and in many areas the pre school provision for that is much better than the school age provision. The only way of ensuring your son will receive any SALT once he is in school is to have it specified in a statement.

If you begin this process now you will have lots of time to reject different drafts of the statement and ensure your son will receive the correct additional support he may need.

mysonben,

I would agree with the other replies here.

My son has had a Statement for his learning difficulties since Y1. I am ^SO BLOODY GLAD^ (apologies for shouting here) that he has had this support because it has done him a power of good and I am all the happier for it. With that Statement came some understanding from the school and I was not called in seemingly every week to discuss what DS had or had not done (as occured with his reception teacher who had not fully understood his additional needs at all). I would not want anyone to go through what I did in reception; all those parents' eyes on you at pick up time when you were summonsed
to the front.

I have also seen some of his peers who have struggled badly with their 3rs primarily because their additional needs have not been met by school. Also school is not just academic, its the social side of it and conforming to rules also that they have to face daily.

Its your decision but if they're not just saying these things to you for the sake of it. I would therefore pay close heed to what they are saying.

sorry if a sound like a bossy judgey pants but your ds i see my ds in him and to see what huge progress my ds has made how more independent he is and how his speech has come on and talking to other children

i may not have expressed the mild and have you accepted what i meant was yes it has been mentioned as mild but have you accepted his needs are different away from home

i will say if you can hide in pre school and witness how he is and how hard they work to engage him this may like me make you understand it is like having 2 children my ds struggled i cried it was so hard to see that wasnt my ds but it was made my mind up from that day and so pleased i did as different child now his not on his own in corner his in with the other children and engaging all from early intervention

when you say mild ASD would that be like HFA as ds has HFA and isnt really severe but has had extra problems arise and will need help at school to socialise and engage in activity etc this is all expected behaviour when in school

ds can do really well with the support but without a statement the support cannot be given in helping him speak to others speak his needs engage in activity perform as expected like the other children dress himself in pe, ask to go to the toilet, sit and listen at story time and considering reception is based around play he needs structure and help to play with others

i personally could not send him in without the support as it will be hard and frustrating for him which will make things worse as he will be more withdrawn as cannot freely speak to others and cannot focus on set tasks so will not meet curriculum in any of these areas

to be honest your ds has always sounded like my ds at home his a different child i stayed at pre school hidden in kitchen to witness how he copes and was heartbreaking he didnt cope but at home can do near on everything doesnt need routine etc is happy funny little boy

in pre school setting it becomes too much to handle its the unknown he doesn't know what expected form what nursery is saying your ds is the same and could do with extra help to learn how to interact etc to engage in said tasks ,

i'm just wandering i dont want to sound patronising but you always mention mild ASD have you accepted he has ASD as in pre school his ASD appears more obvious like my ds and without the help will always be way behind peers as not learning how to act without the support {dont mean to sound mean but i hid in nursery to see how ds acted and was shocked as not same as at home}

i'll give you run down of ds it is hard when at home there one person in pre school another but when i witnessed how much my ds struggled broke my heart i had to accept he needed more help and im glad i did

he gets taught how to play and interact a yr ago he was hard to engage couldn't and wouldn't talk to other children worked to own agenda

now he with help will play with other children talk to other children and is doing this more independently as well now works on tasks given by use of now and next so he can see what expected and gets to choose reward task for doing as they ask

behaviourally he is fine ASD is social and communication problems and beings these are the main things we need in life any support given should be so they can stay at peers levels if possible mild autism or HFA children have the ability to learn everything they need to know in life and ds now is more sociable doesn't willingly go up to children as much unless its physical activity but can with help interact and speak do as asked and all this wouldn't be possible without he help he has received from pre school 1-1 his a different child

a label isn't necessary a bad thing and not everyone at school needs to know your ds has a label only few people know about my ds as he doesn't stand out but i know he needs the help and i want him to have best out of life and fit in as much as possible and i know this comes from extra help the people that do know about my ds dont judge him they all love him

also you cannot expect a school to treat your child any different from other children without a dx if you want extra help for his needs then a dx will allow this so if school didnt do something and it riles you thinking but they should have done this as he may have ASD they cannot treat a child any differently if there is no written statement to say his needs are different

sorry to go on but i do believe the pre school and he sounds so like my ds who has improved hugely with help

It's a toughie. This stage is a lot easier if you have a more "severe" child - there's no decision to take iyswim.

Re: DH. DH denial is almost as common as grandparent denial. And grandparent denial seems to happen in about 99% of ASD cases.

Re: labelling - well he may get a label anyway. He may be the "naughty" child or the "weird" child or the "mean" child. Because if he doesn't cope with the pressure of school, that can come out in behaviours. If you have a diagnosis you have a chance of pushing the school to treat these appropriately which means he will cope better and the behaviour will diminish - allowing him to cope better socially which could well be his Big Deal with school.

Re: what nursery says v what school will say. Again, tricky. Schools are under huge pressure from LEAs not to statement, because of the cost of proper provision. So you may quite possibly get Nursery saying "I'd advise a statement" and when you get to school they say "oh he doesn't need one" and it may take years of failing at school before they capitulate - meanwhile the LEA have saved £££. At least nursery's view here is unbiased - it's no skin off their nose either way.

I think the only thing you can do is try to take as unbiased a decision as possible. Go into nursery and talk through what they think the problems are in detail. Ask if you can observe what they are seeing, and try to project that into a school environment. And then make your mind up based on that, and act accordingly. I'm afraid I wouldn't take any notice at all of your DH's opinion. I don't mean he is necessarily wrong, I just mean that he has too much emotionally invested in there being no real problem, for his opinion to be objective; if he is right it will be by chance rather than by observation iyswim.

Noone can tell you the answer to this one ...it's your call.You have to weigh up what is best for your boy. Perhaps you can just leave it for a bit . Seems a shame to miss out on such an early advantage though?
Particularly if you are going to be at the same point further down the line anyway?.
It wasn't picked up with my boy at all....noone could see it (apart from me). If i could change anything ...it would be that he had gotten help and a dx earlier.

Perhaps your husband just needs more time to come to terms with it. If you can access something like a 'help' course (run by the nas) he might be able to see a way forward with this a bit more. I booked dh on a casadt course in the end...it was a turning point for us.

I do agree with Atilla. Particularly if nursery have already said that extra support is indeed needed....and you already have professionals pushing your boys case.

I always say this.-
I would much rather my son have the right label...rather than the ones that my boy got (from teachers and peers alike) before he was protected by a dx

lazy,weird,odd,dreamworld boy,stupid,freak,clumsy,immature,behind,(i could go on and on )

The playground (particularly pick up time) was a tough place for me... let alone him!

There was a boy in ds's class who had a dx of autism and a statement from the word go. I was envious of his experience at school

If your son hadn't been picked up at all and it was just a 'feeling' by you...and noone had said anything about support then i can understand it a bit more

Why would your husband want to deny your boy this?(i think i know why btw...i had a similar struggle with my dh and pils). As mums we bang it around in our head and see things for a lot longer don't we? I didn't have the school in my corner as they couldn't/wouldn't see what the problem was...( but were quite willing to give some of the labels listed above! ).

Ds could 'pass' for nt quite easily at 4...plus his behaviour was always very good.This was his downfall really.

I don't know tbh. Perhaps you can just wing it and see.... See how he gets on.

But if it were me and i had already been told that he needed support..then i would grab this opportunity with both hands

Sorry...that wasn't any advice at all was it!

Hi mysonben,

Ds2 will start school in Sept. 2010 and we are also in the "statement or no statement" dilemma. If we don't apply for a statement we won't go for a dx either iyswim.
Oddly the pressure for us is from SALT/paed whereas school have said "let's decide in January" (and headmistresses even said to me on the playground "I don't know why you'd want to").

I'd be very interested in talking about it with you and your DH as we are also at the mild end (though our language delay is worse, I suspect)and Ds2 will be 5.0 when he starts. But now I must go to a work meeting!!!!! Will watch thread with interest.

One of my issues is that "Early Intervention" sounds terribly impressive but what does it actually boil down to?
Maybe we should both get the forms and have a peek.

mysonben,

re your comments:-

"Dh is slowly accepting the fact that ds has asd and some issues, but he is adamant he will not allow for him to have a formal assement because he doesn't want him labelled"

Your son has already been "labelled" by the paed albeit verbally. Your H is burying his head in the sand here; this is about your son and starting school. Its about yout son here and his best interests, not about him!!!. He needs to see a "label" as a signpost for getting more help; its not a stigma. He needs to get past that and sharpish.

I would take heed of what the nursery staff are saying here; infants school anyway can be a tough ol' game especially to children who come across as at all "different" to their peers. Even children with "mild" ASD can find school life very hard indeed and these problems can magnify the further up they progress through the school system. He may well bottle up all his frustrations as well re school and then take out all that on you after school. He may also find reception very difficult without some support behind him and you may well get called in on a regular basis to discuss him (have experienced that myself, would not wish that on anyone). Some of his peers could well pick on him or comment for being "different" to them.

I would personally not wait until Christmas to decide re the Statement; infact I would apply for one now. You are your child's best - and only advocate.

Quite beside from anything else early intervention is vitally important; if he does have a Statement for reception it will help him as he will receive extra support in class. It is better for him to have a Statement early rather than say later on in Y2.

Yep it is. We only want help for ds if we feel that he really needs it, and as we are not with him in the nursery setting we have to rely on what they say i suppose.
Dh is slowly accepting the fact that ds has asd and some issues, but he is adamant he will not allow for him to have a formal assement because he doesn't want him labelled.

Maybe I don't understand all the issues, but I can only think of extra help as a good thing.

In our case, nursery and the SENCO have said they definitely need a statement in place. I suppose each case is different, but I'd be very worried about DS2 coping with school without the extra help. Certainly at this early age it can only be good, can't it?

Having said that, it's dizzying trying to make these sort of decisions as a lay person, isn't it?

OOOps i missed a bit at the begining of post , 'we have decided that considering his asd is mild , we were not going to go for a statement.

DH and i have already talked about this and decided that considering ds ( verbal dx by a paed.)'s asd is relatively mild with regards to behaviours, sensory issues, and he not totally unsociable , i mean he can fonction relatively well at nursery, the main issue being his speech delay (SLI)for which he sees a salt.
But the nursery staff reckons he might find it hard at reception (in september 2010) because he is hard to engage in activities that isn't much of his interests, he doesn't focus well on what he is supposed to be doing, he stares into space a lot,... The nursery proposes that we wait up until xmas before deciding if he needs a statement or not.

Would you listen to the nursery and senco recommendations ? Or should we follow with our decision of not getting a formal dx and no statement neither.