Parking space rant *ooh contentious thread alert*

[Glitterknickaz]

Well.... being as DS2 has mobility issues (to the extent that he gets higher mobility DLA for it) I decided it would be well worth getting the blue badge. Trying to load him in his major buggy is a job and a half sometimes anyway, if you can't get a p&c space then it's been flipping awful.

Now I am faced with pithy looks and actually verbal abuse for using the blue badge spaces. I hate to say it but more often that not it has been the elder members of the public that have berated me/given me looks/tutted at me.

We have a genuinely acquired badge, we are entitled to use the space. Yes I might be a sprightly 30 year old but the badge isn't mine it's my son's and I don't abuse it, if he's not with me I don't use the badge simple as.

I dunno maybe the major doesn't look much different to a regular maclaren or something?

I'm just sick of getting abuse every time we go out.

[anonandlikeit]

IKWYM glitterknickaz, they actually make me feel guilty, when I know I shouldn't.

Although as ds2 is 6 & big for his age I tend to get less stares not as I get him in to his w/chair, but when he was smaller & using a m/buggy ig ot all sorts of stares & tutts!
& yes it tended to eb from the older folk!

[daisy5678]

Yep, get the same here (J gets high mobility under the mental impairment rules but is physically able to the extent that he jumps and runs constantly)

I have had so many comments and looks. I ignore the looks on the whole, but if anyone says anything, I find the word 'autism' usually ends the conversation. Only once has a guy actually moved me to shouting at him as he was chatting on about going home to get his camera! In that example, I actually got a few people coming and telling him off and telling him it was none of his business.

I wish I was restrained enough to totally ignore it. I'm not. But we have to tell ourselves that it doesn't matter what they think - we know we're entitled to it and that's what's important.

[Woooozle100]

Yeah - get this all the time. Its just looks though - no one has ever said owt. I offered one old fella the chance to check the badge out. He was quite apologetic and embarrassed. I was all ready for some 'bully for you, you've earned this badge later in life.. my dds got a lifetime of it' comment.

Tis a bit sad really this in squabbling. I remind myself how passionate I feel about people parking in disabled spots when they're just lazy inconsiderate bumholes. These old folk feel the same - just excercising their suspicion. But yeah - rather annoying

[devientenigma]

Hear hear, the best one was when this guy aged around 99 told me to f* off and respect the space and the people who use them. Which then made everyone stare at me. However if I had of been the one swearing things would of been different. Not too mention son also has a heart condition and when he goes for his ECG all the old folks stare as if to say whats he doing here. They don't realise hes here for the same.

[donkeyderby]

Elderly people probably get sick to death of seeing abuse of blue badges and parking spaces - don't we all - and that makes them too ready to pounce on those with less obvious disabilities. I don't blame them for challenging people, after all, it is only disabled people and their carers who 'police' bays - no-one else seems to give a f*. Most people pipe down with a civil explanation, and indeed, get embarrassed. I try and reserve my anger for the real abusers of parking spaces and that includes the many parents who use blue badges and bays when their children are nowhere in sight.

[amber32002]

The whole disabled-parking thing is a problem anyway. When I go to conferences etc for work, very often I can't manage public transport because of the sensory problems/worry about what will happen due to the ASD (and having no time to get over the sensory problems when I arrive), so I have to drive. And some conference centres only have disabled-parking spaces and are absolutely nowhere near any other car park or public on-road parking. "Environmentally friendly - take public transport!" If I could, I would.

So I don't qualify for a blue badge as I can walk (though not whilst carrying anything heavy thanks to the arthritis) and I'm not that likely to run out in front of the traffic, but I can't get to there because of the disability.

One or two conferences have been great and allowed me to use one of the spaces anyway, though.

[SJisontheway]

Get these looks all the time. Was only ever approached once and I just introduced the old dear to my DD. She was quite embarrassed. A family I know parked outside the supermarket - they were in a rush and didn't get out the wheelchair - instead the DH carried in their DS. Some one complained and the management came out and clamped the car - even though they had a blue badge. They didn't even look!

[Mitchell81]

We have had the badge since DD was 2 and have also had looks, as soon as we get out the car until DD is sitting in her wheelchair or SN pram. They don't seem to understand that yes able people are also in the car and make comments until they can see DD. Often very rude and talking loudly to each other saying how can non disabled people use disabled parking, not noticing the blue badge or wheelchair ffs. Also think it doesn't help having a baby and toddler with you as how possibly could you also have a disabled child in the car.

[madwomanintheattic]

SJ - not like our supermarket, then, where they let the staff park in the disabled bays so they don't have to walk across the carpark when they finish their shift if it's dark....
don't worry, glitter, you'll soon develop a rhino hide and start waving the badge at everyone going 'and? and? do you have a problem?' it gets marginally better when you swop the major for a wc, but it's all relative.

[2boys2]

sorry to be so naive to be asking this - but i genually want to know the answer. I thought that a blue badge entitled those who are physically impaired to use the spaces as they have more access to the veichle - wider space to open door etc. Therefore why would someone who is mentally impaired need the space. Please dont flame me - i genually want to understand.

[2boys2]

i also cant spell - huge apologies!!

[amber32002]

Imagine if you will the challenge of a strong, lively child with an ASD. You have them to cater for, and perhaps another child as well. You wrestle/persuade/heave them into the car, you bribe/cajoule/survive all the way to the shops, you open the door of the car and release them from their seatbelt.

Guess what happens. Either they make a bid for freedom at 300mph, wrenching free from your grasp and heading straight across the car park traffic stream, or they go on sit-down strike and you have to be able to lift them bodily and heave them to the shop.

Done it, been there, had no badge. Nearly had him run over many times. Nightmare. Total utter nightmare.

Same with many individuals with any sort of cognitive problem, whether young or old. If there's no common sense about road safety and they could be in severe danger on the road, parking as close as poss to the shops is sensible, so the government does permit blue badges for it now (sometimes).

[2boys2]

many thanks - hope didnt offend anyone - really wanted to understand.

really admire you all - sorry hope i'm not being patronizing now!!

[ChopsTheDuck]

My ds1 is physically disabled, but he can walk.
However, my main reasons for using his blue badge is for the occassions when he decides he doesn't want to walk in the same direction as me, or isn't goign to walk at all. Or he might decide he WANTS to be hit by a car, or that he wants to hit the car with whatever he can grab to hand. Getting him safely across the car park can be interesting. Blue spaces give me the space to open the car and get him out without him legging it or falling out of the car too.

[Pixel]

If I didn't hang on to DS he would run straight in front of a car. He has improved a lot lately and has got to the stage where we can pop into the supermarket for a few bits without the buggy (he runs now instead of lying on the floor which in a funny way is easier if he has a waist belt on, he is far too heavy for me to lift). However this means that people see a little boy hop out of the car and trot happily into the store, but they rarely hang around to see us emerge, with me red-faced and exhausted, struggling to restrain ds and carry a bag at the same time! Unless I could park near the store I just couldn't do it.

[donkeyderby]

I have to admit, in 12 years, we have never, ever had any looks or comments directed at my son by elderly people, (apart from the not very helpful 'poor thing'). He can walk, but is very wobbly and has challenging behaviour and SLD. Perhaps old people in my town are more laid back...?

[Tiredmumno1]

I think rules should apply to normal mother and baby spaces. I am sick of single people, and parents with teenagers (who might i add r quite capable of walking and behaving themselves) taking the spaces making me struggle with my 2 sons, my eldest is 6 and has sn, he recieves middle rate dla, and youngest is 2. And believe me it is a struggle with them both to trek all the way accross the car park. Sorry fancied a rant it makes me angry.

[Tiredmumno1]

(angry)

[devientenigma]

There was a police car parked in one of the disabled bays where we were parked. I wrote a note and attached it to his windowscreen. I am really glad to see the police force have had disability awareness training and are not discriminating against disability by employing disabled staff. Well done.

[comparethePeachydotcom]

Tiredmumno its ahrd when you'rein 'that gap' isn't it?We ahev 2 boys with asd but beiher gets a badge (NAS lady thinks ds3 should as we have near misses with casallthe time but I dont ahvre the fight in me any more); and ofcourse there'sthe other two as well- it has mademe turn around and go home if no P&T sapce on occasion.

Peoplesay 'oh trhere'sno need for P&T'and I think there'snot if youre bog standard family; but there is are a lot of kids with sn and ddanger problems who son't get a blue badge and they're a gosdsend to us I think.

[Phoenix4725]

lol a devientenigma

[devientenigma]

Must also add I added to the note that he had not displayed his blue badge.