My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

SN children

I need this to stop, but not sure if I'm being cruel

12 replies

5inthebed · 10/01/2009 22:29

DS2 has autism, and his "comfort" zone happens to be me, or more so my breasts. He is 3 now, and it does look a bit rude when we are out in public, and he comes up to have a sniff of them when he is in an uncomfortable situation or he has a feel of them. He will even speak to them at some point during the day.
I've tried several ways on getting him to stop this, the ltest (I hate to admit) is to tell him off and not let him near me if he attempts to try feel me up .
I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing, if me stopping this is affecting his sleeping, as he is now turning lights on and escaping out his room, and if its affecting him more than I dread to think.
He was breastfed for a short while, not long enough for him to remember anyway.
Anyone got any suggestions? I know children, and adults, with autism dont know social boundries, and I'm hoping this is just part of it.

OP posts:
Report
josey · 10/01/2009 22:46

No idea, difficult one. Would he respond to you giving him a small teddy or cloth, that before you give him you (i dont know sleep with so it smells of you 1st) and say to him its his specially Mummy boobie for outside/bed???

I shall skuttle away and shut up I think

Report
5inthebed · 10/01/2009 22:49

Hmmm, not sure that would work, as he has been known to feel my sisters boobs as well, although doesnt sniff them. I think its all to do with the softness of them (they are quite big )
My ever helpful husband suggested getting him a pair of inflatable boobs, not sure I could explain those to his SN school though

OP posts:
Report
5inthebed · 10/01/2009 22:49

Thanks for the suggestion though.

OP posts:
Report
josey · 10/01/2009 22:56

what about one of those soft round squishy pillows then? you know the ones that kind of form a shape you can get them in cylinder shapes also.....usually on a stall at a shopping centre IYKWIM

I can just see you walking through the playground with a blow up boobie lol!

Report
feelingbetter · 10/01/2009 22:58

Would something like this be any good? If it is the 'squashy' sensation he likes?
One of my old bosses kept a breast prosthesis on his desk which he could often be found 'fondling' in times of stress . not in a pervy way, I hasten to add, we worked in a field that supplied them.

Report
bullet123 · 10/01/2009 23:30

My honest opinion? He is three years old, still a baby really. He wouldn't realise his behaviour was odd even if he was nowhere near the spectrum (I remember reading a post on another site years ago in which a completely typical five year old said he liked his teacher's breasts because they were so comfortable).
Distract him, offer him alternatives, but at this age, whilst embarrassing for you, it's hopefully something he can be veered out of before he's much older.

Report
jennybensmummy · 11/01/2009 06:41

maybe try a stress ball? i know this probably wouldnt work but maybe worth a try? he coiuld have a cuddle then have the ball rather than a cuddle then a squeeze!?

Report
Seuss · 11/01/2009 09:46

My ds used to have a thing for putting his hand up my shirt but only does it now (aged 8) if we have a cuddle. We have some of those squishy cushions (got ours in Shaws the drapers) and all the kids love them - they are often to be found wearing them as hats! Also what about those cuddly toes where you can take the inside out and warm it up?

Report
5inthebed · 11/01/2009 10:28

bullet123 I dont mind him doing this, its other people (including my husband and mother) who seem to think that he shouldnt be doing it anymore. I do think that he is still young enough to do it.

I might try one of those squishy pillows, maybe sew a button on to simulate a nipple LOL

OP posts:
Report
Seuss · 11/01/2009 11:01

LOL - We have a pink one that would be ideal!

Report
bullet123 · 11/01/2009 11:12

The cushion might help. Ds1 sometimes tries to feel my breasts, I just gently move his hand away.

Report
Lovesdogsandcats · 11/01/2009 16:25

Can I just say that I have seen kids in the past at playgroups etc, doing this kind of thing and I personally would not look twice if I saw your son doing it, especially at 3, he is still really only a baby! Now if he was 15, it might be a bit different!

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.