How can I cheer up my stressed out DS while he gets used to Pre-school?

[Buckets]

My DS (3, AS) started Pre-school this month. He has a one-to-one and I'm convinced it's what he needs to prepare him for school as he specifically is not interested in adult direction. It is basically a taste of real life which he's got to learn to deal with. He enjoys his time there and improves daily, the staff are great and his one-to-one already seems to know him very well and they don't push him harder than necessary.

However... he has since had a big eczema flare-up all over (only had patches before) which I think is down to stress. It must be exhausting for him to go from a month of no intervention (I had a baby beginning Aug so he basically was allowed to watch Tom & Jerry the whole time) to 15hrs a week of being chivied. I now get lots of muttered threats of cartoon violence "I'm going to cut you in half Mummy" "I'm going to eat you for lunch" or contrastingly sadness "Everybody doesn't like me" - both when he doesn't get his way.

How can I help him through this period while he gets used to it all?

[Marne]

Will you be able to stay with him for a while at playgroup until he gets used to it?

My dd1 (AS) took 6 months to settle in to nursery, the nursery were great with her and she changed alot in the year she was there, she's now alot better at the whole social thing.

Dd2 starts playgroup next week, she has ASD and i will be staying with her until she is settled in.

As for the tom and jerry talk, dd1 still does this alot but with Dora and sometimes she acts out computer games from the pc.

[cktwo]

Hi Buckets, how often is your DS there? I ask because i wondered if a gradual integration to pre-school might be less stressfull for him.

Our new one-to-one is pretty full on with teaching and I think if DD1 was new to pre-school she too might have been stressed by it. She's been going since January and we started off two mornings a week when she just turned three and increased her time there each half term.

She now has one-to-one every morning and Monday and Tuesday afternoons to just play and relax with the other kids (or watching the other kids!).

[Buckets]

Yeah he's going every day as it's an inclusive place and we passed up the summer term to wait for it. He does settle and enjoy himself there, it's just getting used to being told what to do wears him out and he doesn't want to take it from me as well. I can totally understand how he feels but it's difficult to balance humouring him and letting him unwind at home and being a mum to him too (eg telling him what to do, saying no etc.)
I guess quality time on our own is what he needs but difficult with little brother breastfeeding on demand.

[cktwo]

Little brother is probably having a stressful effect on him too. Poor mite, it's alot to deal with when you're so little.

I few of my friends have just had their secind baby over the past few months with siblings of various ages. All bar none has reacted to a new arrival in so many different ways. DD1 is still having problems with DD2 even though DD2 is nearly two now!! But it is so much better than a year ago when I had constant fighting .