supporting a dyspraxic 6 yr old - what to do?

[MissChief]

seems likely dc is dyspraxic but getting EP assessmt with any luck on Fri when will know more. However, lots of evidence from school - poor balance in gym, v slow writing/getting ready, v poor attention-span, poor listening skills, spatial/visual issues in some maths work, also problems "reading" social situjation apparently and interacting with other kids. In spite of that though, he's reading amazingly well and voraciously, speech also not a problem. His dyspraxia, if that's what it is, does not seem to be of the verbal kind.
I'm new to all this though (so pls be kind to me!). Don't know whether and how to tell him if it's confirmed, what to tell others, if at all. In some ways it's reassuring to have a poss diagnosis as have always found him "difficult" tbh and now feel bad about how difficult he must find life at times and how he needs my support. He is tricky though and often in his own world. I'd previously dismissed this as typical 6yr old behaviour but according to the school it's more extreme than that.
If you're still with me, any thoughts/tips?
TIA!

[dustystar]

Chocolateteapots dd has dyspraxia. I'll ask her to look at this thread.

[MissChief]

thank you!

[chocolateteapot]

Hi MissChief. It is really hard at the beginning isn't it ? He sounds very similar to my DD at his age, she is 9 now and in Year 4.

She was diagnosed towards the end of reception, she has hypermobility as well. I didn't tell her about the dyspraxia until she was 7ish, I just blamed it on her joints until then. I have been very lucky and have some fantastic friends who have been very supportive (dustystar's ears should be burning !). I remember feeling all over the place when I first found out, I had a small baby and would randomly burst into tears for a couple of months.

A few things on and things are very different. Whereas before the effects of her dyspraxia seemed to be present most of the time, this is really not the case any more and although we're both a bit apprehensive about her change to Middle School, it no longer seems the impossible task that it felt like before.

DD has been very lucky and received two courses of OT & physio at our local co-ordination clinic over the last few years which have helped her a lot with things like eating with knife and fork, zips, buttons etc. Like your DS her reading is very good but she has struggled a bit with maths and her writing was very very poor until recently.

Socially she has struggled a fair bit. She seems to find the unwritten social rules a bit tricky to master but is getting there now. Highlight of my week was on Monday when she was back at school having been off sick the week before. She was swept up in a gaggle of girls pleased to see her back, that wouldn't have happened before and made me realise how much progress she has made.

What seems to have helped is lots of friends back after school and during the holidays. She also did drama for a bit, which I wouldn't have thought of her doing, but she absolutely loved it and it really helped her confidence. She has also been having piano lessons for the last couple of years which helps her co-ordination and gives an auditory feed back to the amount of pressure exerted, which I think has helped her writing.

One thing I have found is that she does get pretty tired as it's more effort for her to do things at school than for the others. I've had a policy of standing back at home pretty much and it's only the end of Year 3 where I started to make sure homework was done properly. Until then I backed off unless she wanted to do it. Luckily her teachers have been understanding about that.

I've made sure things are as easy for her as possible eg lunch box easy to open, duffle coat to avoid zip problem. At school she did have an IEP until last year and still has a writing board and triangular pen. I've sorted her room out so everything has a place and she knows where everything is, she seems to cope better if things are more orderly.

Sorry I've burbled on for ages. I hope some of it has been helpful. I know it seems really daunting to be possibly heading towards a diagnosis but for us it was the key to things getting more sorted. It has taken a fair bit of work and I'm sure there will be more to come, but I am confident that when she gets to 18 you really wouldn't have any idea of the problems she had at school during the first few years, I bet your son will be the same.

[MissChief]

thank you so much for giving me such comprehensive and supportive advice, truly MN at its best!
I've emailed yr reply to dh, hope he reads it. It's good to hear that things have improved so much for yr dd as she got older. It feels quite a battle to get there, though!

I realise how much I have to improve ! I'm an occasionally unsocial and very untidt so-and-so at the best of times (wehre does he get it from?!) I must sort his room out properly and make more effrot to have people round.

[MissChief]

thanks from dh too, he has already read it and was touched and reassured by your reply.

[chocolateteapot]

I'm glad it has helped a little. Don't blame yourself, I have lived in a complete mess for years - it is only now she is 9 that we are any where near sorted ! Final bit of her room is to sort the wardrobe as hers is rather, well chaotic.

Please feel free to have a moan at any point if you feel you need one. I haven't been spending much time on MN recently but I'm sure Dustystar will give me a nudge. Hope the EP assessement goes OK.

[flyingmum]

Hi

My 13 yr old has dyspraxia and Aspergers and other stuff (audio and visual processing) and dyslexia.

He now goes to a special school where he gets therapy and he can write!!!! and is happy to write!!!! Its taken a long time.

I would say get all the OT you can. My son never had any and we have noticed a HUGE difference now he has. I kick myself for not getting therapy sooner. The problem we have is that school tended to put things down to his aspieness but in actually fact it is his dyspraxia that causes more difficulty. There are some good pens you can buy - my son likes the stabilo ones that are shaped to fit into the grip. Some people like Yoro pens. The dyscovery centre is supposed to be good.

All the best.

[MissChief]

thanks, I'm so new to all this but where can I get those pens from? Smiths or specialist shops or the dyscovery centre? Also I've read about writing slopes and pencil grips??

[LIZS]

Smiths have Stabilo pens but tbh he may be better with a pencil and grip for now. If he gets an assessment they should have a selection for him to try.

[lottiejenkins]

Hi MissChief(love the name) My ds is dyspraxic, adhd and profoundly deaf, if and when the dyspraxia is confirmed you want to get it on your sons statement(if he has one) then you can access more help for him.
As someone else has mentioned the dyscovery centre are excellent as is the dyspraxia foundation.

www.dyscovery.co.uk/uniform/centre.htm
www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/

[weebleswobble]

MissChief - if you haven't already done so, think about applying for Disability Living Allowance for your ds. If nothing else, it helps towards replacing all the things he's going to lose/break .

Everytime I order more school uniform/stationery/(insert item that could be lost and it will) it doesn't seem to be so bad when you know there's a little financial help.

[LIZS]

do you need a statement to claim dla ?

[weebleswobble]

No statement needed for DLA. Dc2 has never been statemented. I applied on the advice of his nursery teacher when he was 4 and he's been receiving it ever since - he's now 11.

If anyone needs help with completing the forms I'm happy to help.

[MissChief]

fortunately for us/him, he's not severe enough to be eligible. Doesn't need help getting around or really with looking after himself much more than others his age. It's the writing, the balance, the dressing, timing, social skills, PE, visual tracking that are the issues.

[LIZS]

likewise MC

[weebleswobble]

Have you applied and been refused?

[LIZS]

Looked it up and cannot see what grounds we would have tbh. It doesn't affect basic day to day life such as mobility or extra personal care .