Blossomhill......... or anyone with experience of ASD/Aspergers esp if in your dds.........help please

[Aero]

We had our initial appt today at short notice. I've felt sick all day, first with nerves, then with shock. Firstly that the doctor listened to me and that he recognised that dd has significant problems (huge relief about that). Secondly, that I felt AD/HD symptoms I've read about 'fitted' her so well, that despite good advice and wise words given here, I'm to admit that I hadn't really given much consideration to the possibility of ASD/Aspergers. I think it's because she is a very affectionate child though and has no issue giving/receiving affection.

It went well in that dd 'performed' in a suitably distractible way. He asked lots of questions and I filled him in and he also did some tests on her. I found it all quite overwhelming tbh, and heartbreaking when I noticed how she didn't meet his eye once the whole time he was interacting with her.

Also, I had no idea the problems at school were as significant as they are. He will see us again in six months and in the interim, things will be going on in the background whilst investigations continue and dd will be put on various programmes at school in order to help improve her learning and social skills.

At the moment though, he's thinking along the ASD/Aspergers lines rather than AD/HD, but obviously she cannot be dx'd in one appointment. I'm not sure as although her social problems are significant, she's very affectionate and communicates well with adults on a one to one basis. Also, she does play imaginative games (although didn't when younger) with her friend and their dolls which dosn't quit fit the ASD symptoms.

Oh, I don't know. I'm hanging in there and because so much of what she does/says fits with everything I've read regarding AD/HD, I'm not sure what to think. The good thing is though that it was obvious her problems are most definitely not insignificant and things are in place to help her and make a dx

[bullet123]

Don't dismiss the possibility of her being on the spectrum because she shows imagination. It's actually quite well known for Aspergers females especially to have, or at least appear to have, good imaginations. I know I do and perhaps the only difference I can think of is it tends to follow rather rigid routes and I can't imagine myself as someone else.

[TotalChaos]

I agree with bullet. Bear in mind that even kids who are severely autistic can be affectionate, the lack of affection issue can be a bit of a stereotype of ASD that simply isn't true in many cases. Hope the various things put in place at school help her come on.

[twocutedarlings]

Hi Aero,

I remember reading your other threads, and i have to say that from what you wrote then alot of the thing that you see in you DD i also see in my daughter, she is 5 and has Aspergers.

My DD is extremley affectionate, and also has very good imaginative play.

The thing is with AS it is often a case if now you see it know you dont.

Alot of the trates of AS overlap with ADHD, and alot of children with AS also have ADHD and various other conditions also. According to my DDs Pead its actually quite rare for a child to just have an ASD.

Hope this helps xx

[Aero]

Thank-you bullet, TC and TCD. That's good to know and I agree, it definitely is a case of now you see it, now you don't as some of her traits are rather inconsistant in that we have good days and bad days, both of which can be very extreme. I definitely won't dismiss ASD at all as she made it prfectly clear to the doctor that there are problems without hearing anything I'd said to him. I guess it just seems so much worse than I'd imagined and I'm finding that hard tbh. I wanted to go with an open mind and I was so concerned that they'd not see anything wrong, that I feel overwhelmed by the fact that they se significant problems. Does that make sense.

I'm so glad mn is here though - don't know where I'd be without you all. Dh is finding it hard to digest too and he has an important (second) interview today for a job he really wants, so I didn't want to pressure him last night to talk about it really as he's alrady stressed as it is. He wasn't able to make it ystrday as it was such short notice. They rang in the morning to see if we could com at 12! Thankfully the SENCO was able to come and was a great support.

I guess it's because dd is so sensitive to the needs/emotions of others, ie will go to an upset child and put her arm around and ask what's wrong and try to help etc, that I hadn't considered ASD. One of her best friends has Asppergers and she has nowhere near the same level of difficulty that he encounters, but she feels empathy towards him. She has no problems with balance/clumsiness etc either. She can ride a bike beautifully and is managing her tap dancing well despite distraction being a bit of an issue, but at least we can now ask the teacher to cut her a bit of slack!!

[twocutedarlings]

From my own research it appear that girls with AS, often mask there problems better than boys do. Ive not actually met another child with AS, but i would think that they are all very differant anyhow. If you was to meet my DD at home you would never beleive that she has AS, but at school and in other busy enviorments she is a completely differant child IYKWIM.

My DD also has empathy for example there is a new boy in her class who is quite disruptive, she often come hope saying poor XXXX has been in trouble with teacher and he was so sad. But what she doesnt see is the way that this boy acts is almost identical to that way she does.

[catok]

Aero - replied on your other thread too.
Remember well the feeling of shock on diagnosis - someone describes it as a grieving process - I still get a shaky feeling when I think back!
I know a couple of girls with Asperger's - one is obvious, the other you just get moments when she gets confused or anxious - both very loving, both with a very unusual fashion sense!!
One of them is great in class as long as she is instructing others; group work doesn't work! Other one can only change classes when the corridors are empty, and according to mum only wears pink underwear
Just wanted to say I empathise!
xxx

[Aero]

Thanks tcd - meant to acknlwledge your post earlier. I have been thinking since the appt and it occured to me that her behaviour in there isn't really typical of hr behaviour at hom in that she does mt our eyes when talking to us and indeed constantly looking to us for approval to check if we're watching her. When she knows, liks or warms to aomeone, she has no trouble with ey contact. Also, he said she was very monotonal, which she isn't at all - sh spaks with lovely conversational tones. I was thinking I'd missed these rather important issues, but in hindsight, that appt was very strange for her and she had no pre-warning about it as it was a cancellation. So it's not surprising that she didn't warm to the doctor really. Hmm - jury is out I guess and as long as they considr all avenues, then I'll trust them to get it right I suppose.

[Aero]

Sheesh - I need a new keyboard - that post is virtually unreadable!