Hello all, thanks again for your support.
Both ds's have been really great this half term, so far. There have been no fights or strops at all from youngest ds. I have felt so relaxed and happy with them. Usually it is a nightmare.
Ds's strops started when he was a toddler. He used to bang his head on the floor. Nowadays he tends to sulk and be very very negative about the situ and himself. If he is approached about it to try and make things better for him he just closes up even further. As far as I can make out, he does not have these episodes of anger or strops at school.
A while ago, about a year or so, he flipped into a tantrum here at home. We had bought him one of those plasma lamps for his birthday. A few months on from that he really wound me up and I sent him to his room to think about his behaviour. I heard this almighty smash and screams beyond my comprehension. I flew upstairs to find the fine glass all over the floor and him sitting on his bed screaming with fear. I had never seen anything like it. Since then nothing like that has happened. Now he stomps upstairs and slams doors, mutters under his breath, takes it out on anyone in his way, usually his brother who is twice the size of him and does not allow him to get away wth it.
He is inconsolable when he is in a mood. There is no talking to him at all. It may sound like the usual child tantrum, not getting his own way but at times he hasn't done anything overly wrong. He may have accidentally tripped over the coffee table - I will ask if he is ok, and he will - at times - flip into strop mode. At times if I ignore the accident for instance, he will then sit and sulk then tell me I don't care!
Thing is, it may not seem like it, but he is the most loving young man. He is very attentive and notices anything different about me - tells me how nice I look, that I have had my hair done different etc... not your usual man in the house, put it that way.
I do so desperately want him to be able to cope with these difficulties before secondary school. I know that some others can pick up on these difficulties and make lives hell. I know he won't cope with too much of what can be dealt out by older children.
I feel a bit of a fraud. There are so many people with needier difficulties and so many who struggle to get through to the next day.
Ds's difficulties are not visible to many which does make it difficult for even me to cope with when others just put a label on him or assume that there are other things that may need addressing, or that he is just a bit of a sh*t. At least here I can tell you ladies how it is, and get an honest and open verdict which I do appreciate.
I know he needs support in some way or another. He has very low self esteem and he knows he is different than another child. He is very sensitive about how he looks, and I know he's mine, but he is very handsome. Dark eyes and hair, beautiful skin! He does turn heads and has done so since a baby.
He doesn't wear clothes round his waist, he can't bear it. Every pair of trousers is pushed down onto his hips. He can't wear proper school trousers because they make him look dreadful! Not all kids wear the proper trousers so I am in luck finding a pair of elasticated trackies that pass as a smart pair of trousers. Still he pushes them down. His tummy is larger than it perhaps should be because he has very low muscle and joint tone.
We do have exercises for him and he knows he must do them but it gets difficult when he doesn't want to. You can lead a horse to water, but.... well this horse will kick if you push too much.
Goodness me, I am sorry. I have rabbled on... I will be telling you what colour underwear he wears next!! Thanks all... You are a bunch of hunnies.