My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

SN children

would this offend you??

10 replies

2shoes · 25/08/2007 19:09

saw my nephews today. haven't seen them for ages.
one has dyspraxia and in my view doing very well.
Mil who is in her 80's made the comment after the twins had left.
she said twin A was growing into a nice boy........but twin B well he won't ammount to much.
I didn't say anything but was shocked tha a) she could make such a crass comment and b) that she could make it in front of us. seeing that we have a disabled child.
Now I know she is old(which is why i didn't say anything) but am I getting to precious about such comments??

OP posts:
Report
FioFio · 25/08/2007 19:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

2shoes · 25/08/2007 19:13

shame is twin B seems to be doing REALLY well

OP posts:
Report
PersonalClown · 25/08/2007 19:14

I'm with Fio. Sounds like a generation thing.

Report
FioFio · 25/08/2007 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

needmorecoffee · 25/08/2007 20:34

Old people thing. They are the ones saying 'what a shame' when they see DD in her wheelchair.

Report
magsi · 25/08/2007 21:46

Talking of comments that offend (sorry to drift off the subject, but this just made me think), doesn't it get on your nerves when people (all ages) who bump into you say "Oh, but isn't he doing so well?! I know they are only trying to make you feel better, but couldn't they think of something else to say than pay your dc a silly compliment as if they have been studying their progress? the sad thing is, I just say "yes" and smile. I don't know, it just annoys me sometimes.

Report
needmorecoffee · 26/08/2007 10:00

I get 'awww, sucha shame, but she's got lovely hair' or 'such a shame, with such gorgeous hair too'
Either they think the beautiful red hair is wasted on a quadraplegic or their mouths don't quite know what to say when faced witha quad 3yo.
One day I'll ask
Its the stares that bug me.

Report
bullet123 · 26/08/2007 11:33

I would be offended as well. I'd like to tell you a story about expectations.
My mum has two cousins (well, she has lots more, but these are the two cousins in the story). Cousin A did well in school and everyone said he would do well once he left school. He went to university and became a doctor and settled quite comfortably.
Cousin B did not do well at school. Everyone said he was a nice lad, but he wouldn't amount to anything. He left school with no qualifications at 15 and sort of drifted for the next 6 years. At 21 he bought a lorry and started a haulage firm. That haulage firm grew. He is now a multimillionaire and very successful.

Report
lourobert · 27/08/2007 15:42

I was hurt and offended when my dp's uncle told me that my son had been 'robbed of his birth right'....people just don think and I think theres a defibnate generation difference. Saying that my nan whos 90 absolutl adores my ds and have never said anything negative or horrible- quite the opposite, but I guess that becasue its her great grandson.

Report
needmorecoffee · 27/08/2007 16:02

When DD2 was born my in-laws refused to look at her or acknowledge her. They are only into academic ability. After 2 years, it was shown that despite severe CP she's actually quite bright likemy other 3 they've started talking to her and, miracles, held her.
I'm still nursing resentment though, that they would have ignored her if she'd had learning disabilites.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.