my AS 8yo says he doesnt know he is making noises - how do i deal with this cos its a pain in the bum!

[gringottsgoblin]

whooping and yelling and stuff that is loud enough to hear easily, i think he makes them without thinking but its really inconvenient when one of my little ones is asleep. like the other night, ds3 had just gone to sleep, ds started singing loudly right outside his door.

i feel rotten for punishing him as i think he genuinely doesnt think about it, but i need him to start thinking about it and i dont see how he will if i dont punish him. it is obviously having an effect on his brothers, can anyone suggest anything please?

[Niecie]

I know sort of how you feel, gringottsgoblin. My DS (7yo) bounces, paces and flaps his hands (and occasionally a bit of humming thrown in for good measure) when he is overstimulated, bored or tired. For a long time he used to drive us mad by doing it up and down the lounge when we were trying to watch telly or just reading the paper. When he was 3 or 4 he was very attached to his toy monkey which unfortunately had a bell in it so that just added to the irritation.

I don't have any magic solution I am afraid, as all we did was tell our son over and over again, for months, not to do it and to go somewhere else where we were not bothered by it. Now, he takes himself off into the hall or garden or somewhere else out of the way. He still seems to have a compulsion to do but he seems self aware enough to know when it isn't appropriate. All I can suggest is that you do the same with your son until it sinks in. The problem is that it takes a long time. Is there somewhere he could go and make a noise that wouldn't disturb anybody and he won't wake the LO?

I suppose that distraction is another possibility but that hasn't really worked with us because as soon as the distraction stops he would go back to the bouncing.

The HV and the psychologists both said that we should ignore his behaviour as he couldn't help it. But they didn't have to live with it, did they!

I shall watch with interest to see if somebody else comes up with other suggestions.

[gringottsgoblin]

i can cope with it most of the time, its just when the baby is asleep or the toddler has gone to bed, he seems drawn to the room they are in and then just starts yelling right outside! when i tell him not to do it he gets really upset and yells even louder saying he didnt know he was doing it, but theres no way he could not have heard himself

didnt think about talking to hv, mine has a son with AS so she is really helpful. its is some comfort to know we are not the only ones!

[pagwatch]

Hi my son does this too and again I have no soloution I just wanted to add that it is a form of release and for my son trying to suppress it is INCREDIBLY stressful. When I used to make the mistake of trying to quieten him it had the opposite effect. What I have done is made a game that is the shhh sleepy game. When I need him to be quite I start this game which involeves seeing who can whisper the most quietly and tiptoe at the same time. then we head for the furthest point in the house and he gets a huge tickle which he still loves ( and probably will when he is 40). I taught the game when he didn't have to be quite so it was stress free.
But trying to shhh him really just made him sad and upset. Hope you find something to help.

[gess]

Does it wake the little ones? DS1 makes ear piercing pteradactyl noises in ds2 and ds3's bedroom now but they sleep right through it.

[totaleclipse]

Hi my son is ASD, Likely AS, he does exactly the same when dts are put to bed, he screams, hums, rocks on the sofa so hard it send vibrations up the walls, and always wants to play on the stairs once dts have gone down, not sure what the answer is, just offering sympathy.

[elasticsortinghandstand]

i would have thought a referral to psychologist? is it a nervous tic sort of thing? ( i know it is not a tic obviously - but it)

[Niecie]

I suppose it is a sort of nervous tic, and they can't help themselves but at the same time it sounds like we all need to modify their behaviour somehow. I think they call is stimming and as I understand it it is about stimulating yourself to block out overstimulation from the outside world. Somebody with more experience than me will probably put me right but that is how I understand it. However, understanding it doesn't stop it driving you to distraction and wanting to change the behaviour does it.

Still not sure what to do.

[gringottsgoblin]

we have been on psych waiting list for over a year now! am no longer holding my breath

not sure it is like stimming, ds has attic room so is very quiet up there, he just all of a sudden lets out a pteradactyl screech (brilliant way to sum it up), i dont think he realises he is about to do it and it doesnt seem to be for any reason. yes it does wake them up unfortunately, he has a gift for finding the worst possible time to do it!

we have a variation of the whispering thing, it does work quite well, its just if he goes off on his own he forgets and its not really practical to have him with me the whole time the littlies are asleep. ds is the same if you try to quiet him, i think mainly cos he doesnt like criticism and takes it as such every time, have tried explaining its not but he never remembers so have to go through it every time, each time with associated yelps and screeches.

all sympathy gratefully accepted te, sending some back to you

suppose i will just keep reminding him and hope it sinks in

[gess]

ds1 does it randomly and also at the same time in routines (so in the walking up and doown the street routine there is a particular place that he does it). I think its is a bit ticcy tbh. SOme tics can be helped by risperidrol I think, although we haven't tried (I keep the risperidrol idea up my sleeve for future reference iyswim).

I find they change over time. Apart from the pterodactyl screech we currently have the cat being sick noise as well (ds1 can't talk so this is the sole output of sounds we get ) We've had other ones at other times. SOmetimes less painful.....