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SN children

Not sure if I should offer to help or just keep my nose out?

9 replies

mymatemax · 25/04/2007 22:13

DS2 goes to a sn pre-school group one of the mums there I have known for several years, before we both had children.
She has one child who has GDD & other problems he is four & non verbal.
The thing is she doesn't seem to follow any of the advice from the professionals, openly admits she doesn't bother with SALT exercises, refused the opportunity to do a Makaton course although she admits it has helped him since playschool have been using it with him & he tries to sign to her.
He only ever wears his Piedro boots on visits to the physio otherwise she says his trainers are nicer. Turned down a place for him at OT group, she told the OT it was too far to travel.
I really don't know if she is genuinely struggling to cope & could do with some help, (she does have a very supportive family)in which case should I ask if there is anything I can do to help her?
Or can she really just not be bothered, if this is the case it winds me up because her beautiful little boy is missing out & she is also wasting valuable resources that other families need.
I really don't know if I should mention anything to her & if so how do I mention it without sounding like I'm sticking my nose in.
He is such a lovely sociable little boy.
I don't mean this to be contentious just don't know what to do for teh best?

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2shoes · 25/04/2007 22:24

sounds like she hasn't accepted it

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mymatemax · 25/04/2007 22:32

That's what I wondered, although she is very open about telling people all about his sn, even when they don't ask.
I don't want to upset or offend but equally if she could do with some help I don't want to ignore it.

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eidsvold · 25/04/2007 22:36

i'm with 2 shoes - not accepting it in terms of what she needs to do rather than in terms of how it defines what he needs iyswim.

not sure how to approach it though - no help I know.

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mymatemax · 25/04/2007 22:48

Thanks Eidsvold, it is helpful to have your opinions as I do think it goes deeper than just laziness, which is what DH thinks.

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cat64 · 25/04/2007 22:52

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moondog · 25/04/2007 22:54

As a salt,I work with scores of families who choose not to follow advice or recommendations.

It makes me sad,but that is their choice and I respect that.

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mymatemax · 25/04/2007 23:00

I have tried the subtle approach, saying to her asking her if has he grown out of his piedros already, She just claimed she didn't like them. I said I felt similarly about ds2's splints but he walked much better with them etc etc, all I got in response was shrugged shoulders. But this was some time ago
Maybe I'll try again tomorrow?

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moondog · 25/04/2007 23:09

You sound like a really caring person Mymate.

I'd certainly give it another go.
Often people listen to other parents more than they do to the professionals who can just seem like briefcase carrying bureaucrats.

I have a little group of parents that I use (in nicest possible way) to talk with other parents.

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mymatemax · 25/04/2007 23:17

Thanks moondog, I really don't want to seem like an overbearing busybody, sometimes the last thing you need is someone else telling you what you should be doing.
But my instinct is that she hasn't made a considered decision not to follow advice (there has been the odd occasion when I've done that)
But just for some reason switches off to what is said once she leaves the consultation room.
I think I'll see how it goes tomorrow.