People's attitudes to asd stinks

[Frascati]

Now as I have said before my dd has AS and I only tell who I feel needs to now.
Probably because I know the attitude of some people.
Well today I wasn't wrong. I told dd's best friend at school's mum that she had asd.
Her ds I think has it too. He is in the unit and has obsessions, odd socially, lines things up etc etc
So when I told her she was like "oh don't worry it's not like I will tell ds to stop playing with your dd". I was gobsmacked.
She admits her own ds has traits and I am certain has some kind of asd too.
Why are people so negative about asd. Why when I mentioned that did she feel she could say that?
Why is asd deemed as such an awful thing? Obviously it isn't ideal but at the end of the day it seems that the minute that word is mentioned people look at dd in a different way and I hate it.
Now I know why I am very choosy about who I tell

[bobalinga]

Sorry you got that. I usually get the denial cos DS is bright and verbal. My in-laws wont acknowledge his AS. Apparetly I'm looking for attention. Given DD has cerebral palsy I get plenty without needing an AS child too!!!
But then the in-laws think ASD are all 'made up' anyow. Didn't have them when they were growing up of course!

[Davros]

Frascati, this other mum is in denial which won't do her or her DS any good which is sad for him.

[mummytosteven]

sounds like the mum has her own issues, her response reflects on her rather than your DD. presumably since her son is in the unit at least he will be getting the appropriate support even if his mum is in denial.

[SoupDragon]

I can't begin to imagine why she thought that was an appropriate response or even thought it at all and I'm an ignorant mother of NT children! What a sh*te thing to say!

[Frascati]

What pees me off is the assumptions. She is still my gorgeous little girl who yes has asd. Doesn't make her any less of a person FFS

[mummytosteven]

oh I agree completely frascati, the comment is dreadful on so many levels.

[Frascati]

electra ~ how old is your dd?

[Frascati]

Electra ~ know what you mean about wording. if I say she has speech/language difficulties people can accept it.
F* them. I am sick of worrying about what narrow minded people think

[Frascati]

I just wish people would be more understanding and it seems we have a long way to go before that happens

[Frascati]

I remember once someone said to me (before dd was dx) that she lived next to a school of children that were mentally "retarded". I said "what do you mean?". She was like "Oh they have that autism"
It is very sad really

[coppertop]

It sounds to me as though she might be in denial about her own ds. Is she one of those people who says/thinks " might have SN but at least he's not as bad as X or Y"?

I think in some ways attitudes are slowly improving but there's still a lot of ignorance out there about what ASD means. I liked the recent episode of House which dealt with autism at both ends of the spectrum.

[gess]

She might have lived next door to a school for children with learning difficulties though Frascati. I mean I would never use the term mentally retarded obviously, but if the woman had said that about ds1's school she would have been right (although awfully clumsy).

[Frascati]

I find people like that hard to deal with coppertop I really do. There are quite a few mums who talk about other kids in dd's unit saying they shouldn't be there, too severe etc etc and I am like who are we to judge who should and shouldn't be there?

Gess ~ yes it is a MLD school and deals mainly with speech/language issues. I know what you mean about clumsy. I just find the word retarded offensive.