What do I do with ds and his soiling problems at school? :-( TMI Alert

[Kelly1978]

Ds1 has hypermobolity and is suspected of having dyspraxia and/or autism. He's jsut gone full time at school and I feel really and that dd has been cleaning poo off him at playtime. When he gets tired, he doesn't clean himself properly or doesn't do it all in the toilet and it was all over his pants, shorts and legs. dd spotted it and cleaned him up with wet tissue, neither of them reported it to the teacher.
He's never done this at school before, only urinated, and the preschool were really good with changing him. I'm really not sure how to approach the school with this. I'm not sure if they can even have the responsibility for cleaning up poo?

[Dinosaur]

DS1 had a lot of problems in Year 1 and I have to say that his teacher and the classroom assistant at the time were not great about it.

We dealt with it by instituting a draconian regime whereby he had to "go" before he went to school in the mornings - I know that sounds a bit mean, but we thought it was better for him than having accidents and, possibly, being laughed at or bullied about it.

I don't know if that would work for your DS1 or will he always need to "go" during the school day?

[Kelly1978]

I am worried it might become regular, because he gets tired very easily, and half days were wiping him out. At the end of our last holiday he was in nappies because it had got that bad. I wonder though if he shoudl even be in school full time in that case.
I will give that a go dinosaur, no idea if it will work or not, I've never tried telling him to do a poo. I'm worried about the bullying aspect too, he has settled really well and actually made friends for the first time ever, I hate to see him lose them.

[Dinosaur]

Poor little chap, it sounds very tough for him .

[Kelly1978]

not even tried applying for a statement yet, don't even know that much about it. I know they are looking at more shool based assessments in september once he has settled in for a while and then seeing what additional support he needs.

The senco is the headteacher, who has been good so far, even attended the last paed appointment with us, so maybe she should be the first person I talk to.

[Dinosaur]

Yes, I think you should speak to the SENCo.

[SpookyMadMummy]

hiya
I have been going through exactly the same with my dd who has ASD. I kicked up a bit of a fuss at school because she was coming home covered in faeces, sore and bleeding. Eventually I got a care plan agreed with the nurse advisor in SN and the school. This was done with help from Parent Partnership.
feel free to CAT me or MSN me sewing mad [email protected] (leave lines remove spaces)

[SpookyMadMummy]

Sorry, that was meant to say, the care plan is in place and now we all know what our role is when an accident occurs.

[Kelly1978]

thanks for the offer, have added you to msn, will hopefully get chance to buzz you sometime. Hopefully I will be able to catch the headteacher tomorrow at some point though.

[SpookyMadMummy]

No problem. I am usually about on there

[Kelly1978]

Aaaaaaaargh!

Why can't people make allowances for ds1!!
I spoke to the headteacher on wednesday abotu the soiling. They said they will keep an eye on him and a nose out for any smell and try to encourage him to go at playtime. He doesnt need encouraging to go, he needs encouraging to finish it all in the loo. I warned her that he might smear it, and she said 'Oh don;t tell us that!' Hmm, if I can;t tell the senco, who can I tell?

Thursday, he cut up his knee quite badly on the way to school, I took him in, intending to clean it up, and they said they would do it. Picked him up thursday after school and they hadn't done it and it was still full of dirt. I'm really not sure what to do about this, I don't actually let him wear short shorts since he is alway falling over, he normally has 3/4 length.

Today I went to pick him up and he wasn't there. His teacher had been talking to some other parents and he had left on his own. I found him in the playground, prob about 30 yards away. I warned her that he does need watching and he will wander off, but the teacher says oh but he is so sensible. wtf? He came home today in his PE kit for the third time since he likes to bathe in the water play thing! When we found him he was spinning round and round the playground and trying to hide under his hat. Sensible???

[SpookyMadMummy]

for you. Complain.

[2shoes]

yes complain

[Dinosaur]

[saintmaybe]

You have to know he's being looked after. It sounds like you're going to have to push them hard and be clear about what he needs; unfortunately schools are not always experienced/ imaginative/ proactive enough to get it together otherwise. It needs to be in place before a situation which is going to be stressful or dangerous arises and it's completely ok for you to insist on that.

I myself have been developing an unshakeable steely-eyed look, with a big fixed smile which I am happy to pass on to you.