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Anyone have a child with Social interaction difficulties (Aspergers, ASD) that also are basically not toilet trained?

20 replies

totaleclipse · 28/02/2007 13:58

DS has just turned 6, undergoing assessment for possible Aspergers Syndrome, my biggest worry is his lack of bladder control, he can have upto 8 full accidents a day (number 1s and 2s) he has been tested for all UTIs, diabetes, Petit Mal, and has had a scan on his bladder and kidneys which are working perfectly, his paediatrician has suggested that maybe he just does'nt understand that its socially unacceptable to have accidents, therefore just does'nt bother, just wondered if anyone else has experience of this, DHjust thinks he is lazy

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Aloha · 28/02/2007 14:06

My son is five with dsypraxia and Aspergers and he was four before he was really reliable, and he still has daytime accidents every now and again, and is in night nappies. For him I think a lot of it is that he has sensory issues that means he is under-responsive to physical sensations. He loves to have very, very tight hugs, for example (if I hug other people's children they squeal! ) and is a very messy eater because he doesn't notice food on his face etc I think that had a lot to do with his taking a long time to be reliable - he just didn't recognise the early sensations. He still does an early poo in his night nappy most mornings because he says he doesn't know it is coming until it is there. And yes, children with Aspergers are not as affected by peer pressure as other children, so that may well be a factor too.
It's so frustrating though, isn't it? Sorry about your dh's attitude, though tbh, is he also in denial that there is anything different about your son? I think a lot of fathers are because they can't bear to think their child has anything 'wrong' with them. I often think a mother love is more gritty and realistic than a father's in that respect.

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totaleclipse · 28/02/2007 14:11

Aaah yes, the sensory issue would make sense, but oddly it usually only happens when he is sat down, that is why dh thinks he is lazy I suppose, yes its hard going, I in effect have been potty training non-stop for 3 years

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totaleclipse · 28/02/2007 14:13

DS also has Laungage Disorder, and just cant wxplain to me why he has accidents.

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Aloha · 28/02/2007 14:19

My ds is extremely articulate tbh, but he couldn't tell me why either! There is also the issue that children with an ASD can get extremely focussed on what they are doing, which will mean that the physical signals will be easily missed, esp if they feel weaker to the child in the first place. Ds definitely has his accidents when he is very absorbed in something or when he is sleepy.

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expatinscotland · 28/02/2007 14:24

My DD1 will be 4 in June and has dyspraxia.

Shows no sign of potty training.

She's fairly articulate, but doesn't tell you when she's gone, either.

It's like the message just doesn't get there yet.

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totaleclipse · 28/02/2007 14:27

Thanks for the responses, now just to convince dh

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magso · 28/02/2007 14:52

If it helps my Ds now 7 (no Dx yet but not NT)was like this at 5. Usually sitting down, engrossed in play also, and said he just forgot. I think it was a lack of awareness issue. It has got better slowly over time! We have a regular story time on the loo each evening which has helped with soiling not useful if its a morning problem though. I restocked his change bag (wipes + complete changes!) each day. I do think peer pressure helped! Still has night nappies, and a few wetting accidents a week, - mostly not at school. I found that first year at school so distressing so you have my sympathy. I hope life gets easier for you all soon!

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coppertop · 28/02/2007 16:57

Ds1 is 6 and still has accidents. I've lost count of the number of times the school has phoned asking if I can bring in some clean clothes for him. At school it seems to be that he is leaving it for too long before he asks if he can go. I suspect the signals don't get there early enough. At home he is like Aloha's ds and just seems to get too absorbed in whatever else he is doing. He seems genuinely surprised when he looks down and sees that his trousers are wet. He is still in nappies at night. Ds2 is 4 and nowhere near being out of nappies yet.

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SpookyMadMummy · 28/02/2007 17:50

Yes I have an ASD dd, age 5. She has regular accidents of both types. I went to see a bowel specialist in my desperation last November and she told me that in ASD children it is common to find some kind of bowel/bladder problem. I get called into school on a regular basis to see to my dd, yet they still won;t statement her as yet

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PeachyClair · 28/02/2007 19:08

Yup, ds3 is not quite 4 so not the end of the world but will stand in his wet clothes and not bat an eyelid

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totaleclipse · 01/03/2007 11:03

Yes, ds would also happily stay in wet clothes all day if he could, luckily the school are fantastic with him, he has 6 spare sets of pants and trousers kept at school, though I stll have been called a few times because they have ran out, he will be statemented next month although he already attends the Language unit.

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PeachyClair · 01/03/2007 21:25

Twice today he poo'd himself- once in a nappy (sat in it until quite dry- cold so no sense of smell unfortunately) and once on the carpet, hasn't done this for ages! Why oh why oh why

hope its a phase!

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totaleclipse · 01/03/2007 21:28

DS pood himself in the car today, and without us noticing, took it out of his pants, put it on the floor, then proceeded to unintentionaly smear it into the floor with his feet, ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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Eulalia · 01/03/2007 22:32

What is he doing when he is sitting down? He could be occupied and not realise? My son (autistic) used to have accidents becasue he was watching a video or drawing and his mind was so absorbed in the activity so he'd not realise and just pee right into his seat. He is 7.5 and OK in the daytime but still wears nappies at night - in fact he's so big he's now wearing XS adult incontinence nappies from the health visitor.

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onlyjoking9329 · 02/03/2007 13:01

my three still have accidents, DS (9)usually when he doesn't want to miss something on tv, dd's(12) often wet themselves in the car as they won't ask for the toilet and are funny about using different toilets

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magsi · 02/03/2007 13:26

totaleclipse - couldn't help but laugh at your little prezzie you had this morning! My son has loads of accidents like that. The last one was in the kitchen whilst playing with his baby brother, who then proceeded to make pretty patterns with it all over the kitchen floor!! Honestly you should have seen him sitting right in the middle of it, all over his hands and.....wait for it.....his facejust smiling. Funny now, but not at the time!!!

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totaleclipse · 02/03/2007 13:30

magsi, lol sounds so familiar.

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mum24boyz · 02/03/2007 18:07

hiya, havent read all replies yet, but just wanted to say my ds3, was 5 in november, no dx but suspected as, is still totally in nappies, i have made no major attempt to toilet train him as he just seems to have no concept of when he needs the toilet, he has been tested for coeliacs but thats it as far as i know, but his nappies are so bad aswell so thats another reason i havent tried to rush him, i know he has some concept of what the potty is for, as i have 2 of them going on it just to sit and smile at me at the mo lol, but he doesnt do anything, and yes it is very frustrating.

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chacha3 · 02/03/2007 18:24

hi my dd is five she has global leaning delay! its becoming really hard going! she was fully potty trained by four years old< but since then she has had two set backs which we had to do the whole pottty training all over again! this is the third time now im determined not to put her back in pull ups although she does where them through the night still! she has bout five or six accidents a day!

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chacha3 · 02/03/2007 18:28

i send spare clothes into school for my dd! i go through lots of clothes and lots of washing and ironing! spoken to the disability health team no good suggestions tho! just got to keep percivering!

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