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How could I have got this so wrong??

(17 Posts)
Frogandbear Wed 02-Nov-16 10:50:56

The nursery my DS (who has ASD) attends has applied for funding for him. As part of the process, an equality officer came to the nursery and spent an hour observing him. I have just received his report and I am utterley shocked at the picture it portrays.

He said he would place him in 'range 4', which if I've read correctly, places his development at 25% of his actual age. He is 3 and a half, so this would be under 12 months. sadconfused

Sure, I understand his development is delayed in communication and social - he is non-verbal, however he picked up PECS extremely quickly and uses that regularly. However, he he has started following two step instructions and his understanding has come on leaps and bounds. He has known his numbers, letters, shapes, colours since he was 18 months. Can sort, match, plays with age appropriate toys, has no gross or fine motor issues. He can do 24 piece puzzles, he can now imitate actions, the list could go on and on.

I feel really caught off guard about this and honestly don't know if it's me - how could I have got it so wrong? I feel so upset about it.... sad but then I seriously question it and think how on earth can he be compared to a baby? hmm

Can someone who has only spent an hour with him really know his abilities?

Mumoftwinsandanother Wed 02-Nov-16 11:34:20

oh Frog, I could have written this about my boy 9 months ago. Everybody (teachers, autism specialists, the paed) would spend a short amount of time with him, ask him to do a couple of things he wouldn't comply with and then pronounce him cognitively delayed at the range of a 2 year old. I know my boy and he is as bright as a button, just can't communicate well yet/doesn't want to follow instructions. As he is settling down into school and his communication has improved massively I am getting different reports - he is as bright as a button etc. He still isn't age-related expectations but that seems to be around the social side of things. I believe when the tests become focused more on the academics he will show them even better. try not to worry about this too much, as I have been told a thousand times it is to your benefit if they assess him at a very low level to start with - he will get more help. Doesn't stop it hurting though.

Frusso Wed 02-Nov-16 12:47:20

If the report was done in order for the nursery to access additional funding, it will have this in mind, and may work in your ds' favour.
I also found trying to remember that someone observing for a hour never gets the whole picture,
and for my dd sometimes an unwillingness to be a performing seal can often be misinterpreted as inability to do something, but if they're going to throw help and money at it, then I'd view it as a means to access the help than a true reflection of dc.

Meloncoley2 Wed 02-Nov-16 14:04:18

I agree with Frusso. Better in this situation to be able to be able to access help for his difficulties than be denied it because these are overlooked due to his strengths.

Cakescakescakes Wed 02-Nov-16 14:12:39

The difficulty I found in these situations was that when DS was being observed or assessed then he would t engage with the ed psych etc so they would have to give him zero for certain areas/tasks. I know he could do them but they had no way of saying whether he could or not as he would t engage, so had to assume he couldn't. So at 4.5 he was said to be at an 12-18 month level for things.

zzzzz Wed 02-Nov-16 16:22:31

Happened to us too with our very similarly skilled young man. He's 11 now and I have learnt to think "how can this help us" and ignore other people's frankly bizarre summations of his working age/motivation/understanding.

The skills you describe are extremely encouraging. He obviously has a good little head working hard behind his difficulties. Be brave and ignore the unintended hurt.

Mumoftwinsandanother Wed 02-Nov-16 16:32:34

I agree with all of the above posters re the performing seal point, sometimes they don't want to cooperate at that age (or later) and then score lower than expected. In addition, his functioning level at nursery may well be lower than at home (for sensory reasons). Finally, the report will be written as badly as possible in order to access as much support as possible. Try not to worry.

blaeberry Wed 02-Nov-16 17:00:06

I remember at 4.4 my ds did a test that wrongly placed him at 20 months. Unfortunately for us it was extremely unhelpful as we were applying for a language unit place which required average or above ability. No one seemed to twig that one of the main points of the test was language and the rest relied on language and we were applying for a language unit because of the lack of language.

Mumoftwinsandanother Wed 02-Nov-16 17:05:55

I agree with all of the above posters re the performing seal point, sometimes they don't want to cooperate at that age (or later) and then score lower than expected. In addition, his functioning level at nursery may well be lower than at home (for sensory reasons). Finally, the report will be written as badly as possible in order to access as much support as possible. Try not to worry.

SexDrugsAndSausageRoll Wed 02-Nov-16 17:41:00

I had this at 3.4 months, dd language at 12 months (i.e. Didn't access it) though visual skills 48 months which should have been a giveaway....

The social comm clinic soon after scored her double that as they knew how to interact!

SexDrugsAndSausageRoll Wed 02-Nov-16 17:42:05

Btw it was dd doing puzzles that scored her so high... and she certainly didn't manage 24 pieces!! That's pretty damm good

Frogandbear Thu 03-Nov-16 09:19:14

Thanks everyone. I do realise that whatever it takes to get him support is fine but on the other hand it really irritates me that these reports will be on my son's file forever and they are so far from the truth.

Another worry is that reading MS school's SEN policies - they only talk about children in range 1-3. Well if my DS is supposedly in range 4 - where does that leave him? I don't believe for a second that he is in this range but if they take what the report says at face value...

Gah...it makes me so angry more than anything. I've told DH that I am going to start taking videos of DS doing wonderful things so I have evidence in case they pull any stunts in the future... hmm

Frusso Thu 03-Nov-16 10:44:32

T*hese reports will be on my son's file forever* in his file maybe, but it isn't the be all and end all. The reports done when my dd (8) was on in nursery haven't been looked at for years, each new assessment overrides that last.

Well if my DS is supposedly in range 4 - where does that leave him? p-scales. Which is basically the eyfs not in eyfs settings, and they will be working towards individualised learning to move him off p-scales and onto the national curriculum.

Videos- yes, definitely. Absolutely build evidence.

Does your DS have an ECHP, or is this what he's being assessed for?

zzzzz Thu 03-Nov-16 10:57:03

You can send him to ms school if you want to. SS with its focused specialist high teacher to pupil ratios is expensive. Unless he is damaging others learning he can be educated in ms if you like and LAs will bite your arm off to provide untrained TAs in a ms setting. Most people fight quite hard the other way (and you might be best seeing how you feel once he's older and you can judge what will get him the best life). VERY small numbers achieve specialist provision.

If an early report describes difficulties that aren't apparent people will ignore it.

zzzzz Thu 03-Nov-16 11:01:25

Nb if he can't communicate verbally (yet) he IS functioning at under 12-18 months. It doesn't mean ALL of him is, but as far as communication goes that's where he is.

I should also add DS didn't call me anything till he was 4. He had colours/numbers/read simple words but no water/food/verbs etc no joined words into sentences. He talks functionally now. He can say what he needs to but in a clumsy way.

Olympiathequeen Thu 03-Nov-16 13:52:02

Happened to us. First Ed psychologist assessed DS as severely delayed (aged 5) I think because of the lack of speech. He can add, spell, phonetically decode words, and knows 2 times table (and probably more). We challenged it all and some fudge or other was agreed. Latest ed psych refused to classify him because of the communication difficulty and the small time factor, but listened to his TAs and teacher and us. Basically said lets do the best for him and I will support your school choice as he appears a bright boy but until we can sort better communication we can't know.

zzzzz Thu 03-Nov-16 19:14:26

Lots of the things I taught DS were to "show he was clever" rather than for him blush

Times tables seem to make teachers happy (and they are a total waste of time).

Reading is unarguably "educable".

DS enjoyed Non verbal reasoning papers (from bond they do them starting at age 5 for Mothers to train up their grammar school wannabes) they are kind of made for our sort of kids grin

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