We didn't have much of a holiday when dh was off so he booked a few days off and we've taken the kids up to Yorkshire as they're all outdoorsy. They're 7,6 and 3. 6 yr old DC has autism and ADHD and it's great for her to be outside. Youngest also has autism. But every trip with the three yr old has been horrible. We took her to a country park. Hardly anyone about, free to run and she spent all of it sat on the floor in the dirt. After an hour and a half I brought her back to the car. Screaming and mostly dragging her. We end up doing things as two families. One with the older two and one with our youngest. I'm sick of it. I know her condition is horrible for her but she spoils everything we do. I'm sick of dragging her along because she won't be carried and is too heavy. Most places outdoors we can't take her buggy as we've tried. I love her but I resent her massively. I overheard someone complaining to their young child that they'd gone the wrong way and he was meant to be with her (he was with his dad) and I wanted to scream that she was lucky that was her only problem. I'm becoming really resentful of people complaining about their nt kids and I'm sure they have bad days but stuck with a non verbal, screaming child who doesn't want to do anything is starting to wear thin. My dh says he gets it but really doesn't. Three nights out doing his hobby indicates that. I don't know how I'm going to survive this. I did it once with my middle and I don't feel I have anything left. I can't talk to my mother as she just says "well that's family life". She has no clue what it's like raising three kids two of whom have autism. In short I'm tired, angry and wondering how the hell my life will ever get better. Currently I main line chocolate.
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zzzzz ·
31/10/2016 07:45
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