Data protection issue with school...

[Bookeatingboy]

Had thread about ds 8 (ASD/ADHD) and the issues we were having with new CT... and her obvious lack of understanding his conditions.

I've been having problems with the school for around a year now because frankly they are paying me lip service and not doing what they say they will. I've been accused of bullying by last years CT of being "0ver invested in his education"!

Things came to head when at ds's appointment with his paed it was decided to stop all his mediation because ds has been mentioning that "his heart hurts". I feel he is having panic attacks due to being very anxious but we clearly can't take risks with his health.

Sent a message to CT and acting SENCO (who was ds's Y2 CT) and she knows only too well how difficult he finds school without any medication. I told them that the current level of support would not be sufficient for his needs. I was told they would have a meeting that night, this was last Wednesday.

I've heard nothing and from what I can gather from ds, he is not being supported, and in fact is "getting told off" all day by the CT and class TA. He is very hyperactive and impulsive so along side his ASD he really is struggling without his medication. When I ask what he is being told off for, he says, not sitting still, shouting out, making noises, talking constantly all the time, not all his words BTW...

The final straw for me was that on Friday, he was fidgeting and talking (he does this all the time to himself) when the CT came over to his table and told him to be quiet because his talking was "nothing to do with his medication or his Autism", these are ds's words. All said at his table with 5 other children. I've asked him to explain this a number of times and he says the same.

Firstly I am furious because she shouldn't be disclosing his medication to other children but she will just deny it, so how the hell do I approach this without the accusations again. I've never had any issues before, quite a forthright confident person by nature but am definitely not a bully!

Would it be worth taking parent partnership into the next IEP meeting?with me so I at least have someone in my corner.

[TheTyrannyOfMAGENTA]

That is terrible. Definitely take an advocate with you.

[Ineedmorepatience]

How awful for your Ds! Definitely get someone to go with you but I would request a meeting straight away.

[Bookeatingboy]

I really can't express how angry I am, I didn't sleep last night and probably won't for the remainder of the weekend.

I phoned on Friday as soon as we got home after ds telling asking me "do I need to go to school anymore mum because I just keep getting told off and everybody is looking at me and making me feel sad"! Sadly just got the machine.

I plan on going in on Monday but I won't have anyone with me (not that it bothers me) but I am getting the distinct feeling that they are trying to get me out of the picture by accusing me of bullying and without anyone to say otherwise on Monday I'm clearly concerned.

Parent partnership have offered to come with me before if I give them plenty of notice which I can do for his IEP meeting.

[ilongforlustre]

I feel very sad for you and DS OP. I've been there sadly and would not say this in any way lightly, but if they cannot support his needs, manage him in the classroom or be frankly, be kind. Then I'd move him.

I did. Not having done it sooner is my biggest regret. My ds has ASD and ADHD, my eldest child who has AS came through the school fine, but he isn't challenging. From day 1 (junior school) it was awful, he wasn't supported, they disbelieved his diagnosis, his hyperactivity, noises, flapping, anxiety etc were "nothing to do with ADHD/ASD". My son takes medication to... first it was causing side effects, those mentioned above, then he wasn't on enough, then he was on too much. Then it was my parenting. Apparently he was totally fine but they complained every day how awful he was, in front of him at pick up.

It all fell to pieces to cut a long story short. I moved him to a school that seemed positive about SN. My goodness, the difference! He had one meltdown, one, he was having them several times a week, by the end daily. This school talked to him about it gave him strategies, simple stuff like a trusted adult to go to, a hall pass (if you like). Sorted. He has his smile back.

Recently I asked him what was different at his new school. He said "the teachers here are kind." Another time he said, "it's better here the teacher doesn't HOLD MY WRISTS AND SHOUT IN MY FACE." (emphasis mine).

I know it's not always that easy OP, I had to go to great lengths to move my son but the move changed our lives, literally. Do think about it, better schools exist.

[Bookeatingboy]

Thank you for that ilong In all honesty I would rather home ed than move him to another school for lots of reasons, the main one being that there are no suitable schools without travelling or moving, which is out of the question at the moment.

I spoke with the CT yesterday and as expected she denied saying those words to ds. I asked her what she expected him to be like since she's been at all the transition meetings and furthermore I would not accept him being shouted at and told off for things he has little control over.

I've also spoken with the head and senco and again reiterated how disappointed I am with them for leaving me out of the loop along with the inadequate level of support they are giving to ds. I've had an apology from both and assurances that it won't happen again and that ds will be supported.

Sadly I'm still not convinced this will happen and am seriously considering a period of home schooling whilst he is off his medication since I don't want to undo his progress to date.

Since medicating he has soared academically and was meeting all of the YR3 targets. His well being has also benefitted too since he sees himself as able and "just like everyone else"! Since stopping his medication he has now been moved to the table with the children that are struggling academically who have a range of disabilities. This has been done for their benefit not ds's as the TA sits with this table. This is not an acceptable solution to the current situation so this is why I am considering temporary home education.

[Bookeatingboy]

ilong I meant to say how pleased I am for you and your son now you have moved him. Long may this continue.

[MrsSam]

That's terrible! I would certainly take someone with you to a meeting if you can. It is a shame you can't move schools, as a previous poster did I moved DS4 after an incident where he was told to face the wall for not paying attention - DS4 has significant hearing loss and at the time did not have hearing aids and relied solely on lip reading. As you can imagine he was very upset, as was I. The TA involved denied it but I have every reason to believe DS. Moving him was the best move I ever made, he is a different child now. I don't know how things work in your area but I know I could approach the local authority if I felt the school was not pulling their weight, the social services disabilities team were very helpful when we needed to move schools and were able to make a fuss in the previous school to ensure DS3 was supported as he couldn't be moved.

[youarenotkiddingme]

That is terrible. This is probably one of those situations where you need to clarify by email.

So email and clarify that after today's discussion teacher doesn't agree she said "X" to DS. However you'd like to be reassured that the following support discussed will be put in place.