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Frustrations with school... again!

(15 Posts)
Bookeatingboy Wed 28-Sep-16 17:04:18

I really need to vent because if I don't I swear I just might blow my top with school!

Why is it that every bloody year we have to "start again" with a new CT.

Despite having two transition meetings about ds (ASD/ADHD) and giving her more than enough info on his issues this supposedly intelligent individual has written in his communication book EVERY day so far in YR4, that, and I quote...

"bookeatingboy needs to follow instructions" and "bookeatingboy needs to stop fidgeting and calling out"....

And further goes on to say "I've spoken to bookeatingboy again so he just needs to listen"!

Wow... now why didn't I think of that, we could have solved all of his problems years ago! Now I've got to get on this bloody merry go round again with a new CT who will no doubt again accuse me of telling her how to do her job and that I am "over invested in DS's education"!

I am going to have hide the pens tonight since I really want to write something very sarcastic grin

birdlover1977 Wed 28-Sep-16 17:29:59

I totally understand how frustrating this is! Why on earth didn't we think of telling our lovely little boys to 'just stop!' 'Listen!' It's seems so ridiculous, like you say his teacher is supposed to be trained, surely she 'knows' that he cant JUST STOP!

No advice, just sympathy from me. I'm waiting to see if anyone else knows how to handle this better than I am right now, because I could have written your post.

Good Luck

Ineedmorepatience Wed 28-Sep-16 17:38:01

Grrrr! Its soul destroying isnt it as well as sad for our kids sad

Bookeatingboy Wed 28-Sep-16 19:04:16

Soul destroying is exactly what it is... I just feel so damn jaded with it all.

I won't write anything back, I'll just let her just continue to hang herself with her incriminating words. Then I will calmly ask her at his IEP meeting next month what support (from his additional funds the school receive) and strategies has she put in place to help bookeatingboy with these issues.

Sadly I'm very experienced in these games we seemingly need to play angry

tartanterror Wed 28-Sep-16 19:47:36

You are not alone - it really gets me down too.

I'd worry if you don't reply, the school could say you are not interested. If you had a good system going with teachers in previous years, maybe write a note back like:
"May be useful for you to speak to SENCO about symptoms of ASD/ADHD and ideas of classroom accommodations used successfully with Teachesr X & Y"? Then I'd take photographs/copies of all the notes for your records in case the book goes missing.

I emailed to remind our SENCO about briefing staff this year. I've got really bold now that we have a GOSH referral as they can't write me off as neurotic any more wink

When DS' teachers have made similar comments I've realised it seems to link to DS' behaviour getting worse. Possibly because the CT's lack of understanding means a lack of support in class. I've started to take notes of all such comments and associated "odd" behaviour as I'm worried about the cumulative effect of the stress over the long term. I'll be using the notes as evidence when/if I apply for an EHCP. It might be worth you doing the same. Good luck

tartanterror Wed 28-Sep-16 19:49:31

Oops didn't see this "Sadly I'm very experienced in these games we seemingly need to play" - maybe you could give me tips as I've only recently wised up to this sort of nonsense angry

Msqueen33 Wed 28-Sep-16 21:28:00

For god sake! We thankfully have a ft 1:1 so deal very little with the ct. in fact I've not spoken to her at all apart from when I nipped in before term ended last year to say hello and that should she have any problems please come straight to me. What is wrong with teachers and sencos? Mainstream education from a Sen point of view is grossly lacking in knowledge and understanding.

youarenotkiddingme Wed 28-Sep-16 21:35:59

Soul destroying is correct.

I like your idea. You could always also ask her what she expected when she saw his dx, read his reports and iep.

Bookeatingboy Thu 29-Sep-16 08:36:01

I have decided to play it cool so haven't written anything nor will I speak with her. Headmaster usually attends his IEP so I'll keep quiet until then!

And yes to "what did she expect when she saw his dx confused

Sadly for them they can't even play the bad parenting card because ds has a twin brother who only last week won an award at school for being the pupil that always sets a good example to his peers grin His reports are always fantastic and in their eyes in the model pupil. Not a boast BTW grin

Ineedmorepatience Thu 29-Sep-16 13:15:55

I am sure they could still try to find a way to blame your parenting book
Anything rather than accepting responsibility for any of your ds's difficulties in school!

Bookeatingboy Thu 29-Sep-16 14:17:27

Apparently Ineed I am "over invested in DS's education" confused

This was from last years CT who claimed I was bullying her when all I did was ask her to clarify the support ds was getting!

Some of these teachers are clearly are in the wrong profession.

yippeekiyay2 Thu 29-Sep-16 18:49:33

I know what u mean! We are having an awful start to the year - ct who constantly says dd (7 - asd) is being manipulative/intimidating/ aggressive so constantly taking a stance that dd behaviour is always deliberate and planned rather than a response to sensory issues, anxiety or just general school demands. We are getting an ehcp and the head sent a message via the senco that he has to consider not just Dd needs but the needs of all the other children - not in my dd ehcp meeting he doesn't! angry they are accusing us of condoning dd behaviour because we seek to determine the reasons behind the behaviour and because we feel dd is always punished for everything when other children aren't. It's reached the point now where I am going to look st other schools which I know is what they want but things have deteriorated to this point now sad

LadyConstanceDeCoverlet Thu 29-Sep-16 23:18:09

Does he have an EHCP? Is it worth considering it if he is still exhibiting these issues? At least with an EHCP the CT would have even less excuse.

Ineedmorepatience Fri 30-Sep-16 10:07:00

Yep, I have been accused of similar book!

They are clueless! sadangry

Frusso Fri 30-Sep-16 17:07:25

I am going to have hide the pens tonight since I really want to write something very sarcastic grin
I would. and have.

Sadly I'm very experienced in these games we seemingly need to play
I don't do any game playing when it comes to school. Especially not their games.
in refusing to play their games or by their rules the need for them to play games is irradiated. if you refuse to play their games then they do stop trying to get you to.

I am 'that' parent that is constantly contacting the school and escalating when needed. if i have a problem then they are usually the 1st to know. but i've never been told i'm 'over invested' although i probably am, but if i don't advocate for my dc then who else will?

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